Jax tucked her head under his chin and cuddled Beckett close. “Scared me to death when she called. I wanted to rip him apart thinking he could be hurting you and I was across town. You’re my sister, Beck. I’d have died before letting him hurt you.”
Savi stood in the doorway watching the exchange and the easy way Beckett cuddled Jax. Touched by the embrace and more jealous of it than she cared to admit, she sipped her wine and leaned against the doorjamb. She’d have given anything to have the kind of relationship Beckett had with the three men. Instead of their easy affection and deep love, she’d had distant parents and a drug-addled sister. Then there had been Caine. Just the thought of those years made her shiver.
Shaking the thought out of her head, she ran a careless hand through her hair and forced herself to focus on what was in front of her instead of behind. Looking at Jax on the couch and catching his eyes, she lifted her glass slightly before sipping.
Maybe, just maybe, the future was looking back at her.
Chapter 18
Murphy spread out at the kitchen table with spreadsheets, order forms, and his laptop. Getting behind on billing was unacceptable, and he was very behind. The printer hummed from the floor next to him as it spit out invoices. Irritated at the monthly process, he began stuffing papers into envelopes and scribbling addresses on them. By the time the door opened and Beckett came in, her heels already off and in her hand and her hair falling out of its braid, Murphy was ready to yank his own hair out in frustration.
“I brought home Chinese food.” Beckett hung her coat by the door and brought the bag to the kitchen, placing it on the counter while she got out disposable plates. “I just spent nine hours with the FBI. They went through every day of my marriage, it seems. I don’t think I’ve ever been so drained in my life.”
Murphy leaned back in the dining room chair and studied her. “I get my go-through with them tomorrow. Did they tell you anything useful?”
Beckett frowned and poured a glass of wine. “They didn’t want to say a lot, but I’m pretty good at reading between the lines. I figure most of what Robbins said is true. They did tell me they’re looking for the rest of his identities, which means they think he has more than they know about. I got the feeling they’re watching Alana, which makes me think she’s known about him the entire time.” Taking a sip of wine, she continued, “They did say there’s been some movement with the Malatoa cartel and they think someone might be investigating me on their end to figure out whether I have the money Ryan stole or not. I’m instructed to be careful and to notify them if I see anything at all suspicious.”
Deciding paying his bills could wait, Murphy began opening cartons and filling their plates. “How long have they known Ryan was alive?”
“They say they didn’t, that they thought he was dead. Nothing even blipped on their radar until Robbins showed up here.” She bit into a chunk of pork with gusto, chewing and swallowing before speaking again. “If I ever see him, I’ll strangle him with my own bare hands.”
“Get in line.” Murphy dropped onto the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table, ignoring her glare. “Have you talked to the kids?”
“Last night. Cassie called. They’re on their way and everything is going well. They’re having fun. I’m supposed to talk to them again tomorrow. I can only talk to them from the Sheriff office so they can be sure no one is listening in to the conversation.” Beckett sat in the chair and crossed her legs. “I wish there was more I could do other than sit and wait. Clint told me this morning that someone at the Quest Hotel called and said they thought they saw someone matching Ryan’s description. There’s no one registered under any of his known identities, but they’re keeping an eye on the place.”
“They’ll find him.” Murphy chewed thoughtfully. “Do we know how much he supposedly took from the cartel?”
“When I was leaving, I walked by the room where they held Robbins just as one of the agents opened the door and overheard him telling the FBI they skimmed nearly twenty bricks of cocaine and close to two million dollars off them. Between what we found in the storage locker and the three safety deposit boxes, we can account for six of the bricks and half a million. That means most of it is still out there. I think we can assume Ryan either wants it or has it.” She shoveled in rice and washed it down with wine. “I’m done talking about this for tonight. I want to eat, shower, and sleep. In that order.”
****
After eating and stowing the remaining food in the fridge, Beckett went directly upstairs to her bathroom. Stripping out of her suit, she deposited everything in the hamper and twisted the handle, turning on a spray of hot water. Twirling her hair into a loose bun, she secured it lightly with a pin and squirted make-up remover onto a cotton ball, leaning over the sink to buff off her make-up before getting in.
Looking up, she saw Murphy standing in the bathroom door and cocked an eyebrow. “Need something?”
Murphy stripped his shirt over his head, revealing tanned skin and hard muscles. “Thought we might conserve water.”
Would the sharp tug of desire in her stomach ever go away? Beckett studied him in the mirror and hoped to hell it never did. She finished removing her make-up and turned, the vanity counter biting into her butt. No longer was she self-conscious about being naked in front of him. It was impossible to be insecure about a less than perfect body when a man like Murphy was eyeing her like she was dessert.
She lifted her eyes to his, green onto brown, and held the gaze. Warmth started behind her navel and spread until her whole body tingled and yearned. Enjoying the feeling, she let her eyes wander over his body, enjoying the planes of his chest and abdomen.
“Might be a tight fit.”
Murphy grinned at the innuendo. “I’m counting on it.” Unbuttoning his jeans, he slid them down muscular legs and kicked them off.
Beckett’s gaze was drawn to his protruding erection and she bit down on her bottom lip, her tongue darting out to moisten it. “I think I can make room.”
He followed her into the shower, spinning her around and pressing her back to the wall. His mouth, hot and demanding, came down on hers. Beckett gripped his shoulders and feverishly pressed herself against him.
Drawing back, Murphy grabbed the shampoo and squeezed a dollop into his palm, reaching out to pluck the pin from her hair and releasing the cloud of crimson. Directing her under the spray, he rubbed the shampoo through her locks, tipping her head back to rinse the soap from the strands. Quickly scrubbing his own, he picked up the body wash and loofah.
Beckett’s eyes closed as he drew the slightly rough poof over her sensitized skin. It scraped her nipples lightly, then glided down her stomach, and brushed over the juncture to her thighs, making her jump and sigh. As the water rinsed the suds from her skin, Murphy dipped his head and laid his mouth at her neck, kissing her gently, and slipping his hand between her legs.
Beckett pressed her palms into his shoulders and lifted one leg to his hip, allowing him greater access to her body. He skimmed his fingertips over her clit, the water pounding down on them, slickening her skin and easing the friction. When one of his fingers slipped inside, she moaned and pressed her hips into his hand, encouraging him.
Murphy stroked his finger in and out, driving her up the cusp of release. Using his other hand to lift one of her breasts, he rubbed her nipple with one finger, circling it gently before rolling it between his thumb and forefinger, wringing a delicious gasp from Beckett.
“Beck.” She opened her eyes at the quiet insistence in his voice. “I don’t want to wait to have you.”
Feeling powerful, Beckett smiled lazily. “Then take me.”
Sucking in a breath when he lifted her off her feet and pressed her against the shower wall for balance, Beckett locked her legs around his waist, eagerly arching against him, her body welcoming him as he slid heavily inside.
They moved together quickly, each driving the other up the crest of orgasm. There was no time for whispered d
eclarations or soft kisses. They moved desperately, seeking completion. Beckett undulated around his penis as he drove in and out, her body straining and grasping for climax.
Her breasts were crushed against his chest, his powerful body pumping as he thrust. Each stroke brought him closer and he bit down on his lip in an effort to slow himself down. Desire and need melded into what seemed a living beast, urging him to thrust faster, dive deeper. The steam from the shower made it harder to breathe, and their gasps blended together with the sound of their bodies slapping together. Beckett’s eyes closed and her head tipped back, her arms spread wide to grip the shelves in the shower, her back sliding up and down against the tile as he drove into her.
With a strangled groan, Beckett toppled off the edge of orgasm and broke apart, her body clamping down on him as waves of pleasure rolled through her. Stroking three more times, Murphy gave into his own release and emptied himself inside her, his penis twitching from the force of the orgasm.
****
“Beckett.”
Unused to her full name from Murphy, Beckett looked up from where she was drying her hair. Seeing concern in Murphy’s eyes, she straightened and turned off the blow-dryer.
“What’s wrong?”
“I didn’t use a condom.”
Shrugging, Beckett dragged on cotton sleep pants. “I went to my OB/GYN after the first time and got a script for the pill. There’s no reason to use both.”
Murphy took her hand and pulled her through the bathroom and into the bedroom. Pointing to her dresser, he spoke. “Those pills? The ones still in the bag?”
“Shit.” Beckett crossed her arms and looked at him. “I’m sorry. I thought I was taking them. With everything going on, I guess I forgot. I’ll go to the pharmacy for the morning-after pill tomorrow. It’s my fault.”
Murphy pulled on his sweatpants and sat on the end of the bed. “I’m not afraid to admit I know woefully little about reproductive goings-on other than how to use protection. Is the morning after pill effective?”
“Umm, pretty. Ninety percent or so, I think, as long as I take it within two days. I’ll go first thing in the morning to get it.”
His expression serious, Murphy patted the bed next to himself, waiting for her to sit before speaking. “I’m in love with you.” Without giving her an opportunity to respond, he barreled on. “Like all the way in love, want to get married and have babies in love with you. I don’t know if I always have been and just didn’t know, or if I just loved you so much it was a short trip to being in love, but there it is. I want you to marry me, I want you to let me adopt the kids, and I want us to be a family, complete with at least one more baby, maybe two. I grew up with three brothers, so I’m partial to four, even if one of them is an asshole.”
Placing two fingers on his mouth to stop the rambling, Beckett broke in gently. “I love you, too. In that all the way in love, want to get married and have babies sort of way.”
“I don’t want you to take the pill.” The exclamation burst forth before he could stop it. Continuing, he knew he was either going to dig a deeper hole or dig himself out, and wasn’t at all sure which it would be. “Obviously it’s your choice, and I won’t be mad if you do. I completely support a woman’s right to choose what to do with her own body, but I also think as the man who is quite desperately in love with you that I can tell you what I think.”
Looking torn between amusement and concern at his continued rambling, Beckett nodded reassuringly. “Sure you do.”
“I don’t want you to take the pill. Because standing there thinking about the possibility of having gotten you pregnant in my head, I realized I didn’t mind the notion. More than that, I liked it. I’m thirty-two years old. I’m ready for everything. I thought I’d be scared by the idea, and instead I’m scared by how much I want it. All I can think of is even if I didn’t just get you pregnant, I want to. I want to take you to the courthouse and make you mine in front of God and family tomorrow, if we can, and start making our life together. I don’t want to wait, and I don’t want to think about the consequences.”
Her eyes wet, Beckett wrapped her arms around Murphy and pressed her face into his shoulder. “Shut up for a minute so I can talk, would you?”
Miserable, he nodded. “Okay. Yeah, sure.”
“When I had Rhys, I knew I was made for family. I loved everything about the chaos of a baby, then two. I enjoy balancing them and holding them and reading bed-time stories. I like having a family. If things hadn’t changed, I’d probably have six kids by now. I won’t take the pill, Murphy, not because I think I’m going to end up pregnant from tonight, but because I don’t believe in letting outside forces dictate what I do. I’ll let things play out how they will and be okay either way because we’re making a choice about our future together.” Smiling, she drew back to kiss him lightly. “I’d prefer a real wedding in the spring.”
“Then that’s what you’ll have. That’s what we’ll do. I’ll buy you a ring. You deserve one. I don’t have one now because I hadn’t planned to do this, but I’ll get you one. I want to.” He held her tightly. “I love you, Beckett. So much.”
“I love you, too. Just as much.”
Chapter 19
“So what does all of it mean?” Savi looked up from kneading bread dough to stare at Beckett. “Are you guys officially trying for a baby?”
Beckett popped a cherry into her mouth and bit down. “No. I love him and I love the thought of a baby with him, but the timing isn’t right. I’m already dealing with a ton of shit and so is he. I just finished my period a week ago, and I run long on my cycles, so I figure I’m a week or so away from being fertile. Murphy struggles with being the forward thinking man I know he wants to be and the conservative the church taught him to be. So I agreed not to take the pill, to hold off on starting the birth control pills until after my next period, and we’ll use condoms for the rest of the month.”
“Seems like a lot of trouble for a slim possibility. And it also seems like he’s making a lot of decisions about your body.”
Beckett shook her head. “No. If I wanted to take the morning after pill, I would. I don’t mind the thought of a baby, so if it happens, I’ll be excited and happy and love every second of it. And if I decided a baby wasn’t for me, Murphy would accept it. He wouldn’t like it, and he’d probably try to talk me out of it, but he would accept it as my decision and support me.” She bit into another cherry. “So we’ll see what happens.”
“Still. If he’s pressuring you, all you have to do is say so and I’ll go smack him with something. Better yet, I’ll get Caleb or Jax to do it.”
Beckett grinned and changed the subject. “Speaking of Jax, what the hell was happening between the two of you the other night? Is there something going on there?”
“Not a thing.” Savi covered the dough with a cloth to let it rise and moved on to the bowl of pie crust waiting to be rolled out. “He’s pretty to look at and interesting enough to flirt with. There’s nothing more than that.”
“Do you want there to be?”
Savi’s ice blue eyes darkened to the color of a stormy sea. “There can’t be, so it doesn’t even warrant discussion.”
“Why not?” Concerned by the tension in her friend’s face, Beckett covered one of Savi’s hands with her own. “It occurs to me that we’ve spent woefully little time talking about you. I know a lot about your sister, but I know next to nothing about you and your life before you came here. As your friend, that’s an unacceptable oversight.”
Savi sighed deeply. “It’s complicated. Elaina and I had very wealthy, very distant parents who shipped us off to boarding school as soon as we were old enough. I thrived in the environment, Elaina rebelled against it. She ran away when she was fifteen, and they didn’t care enough to find her. I was a sophomore in college, and only saw her a couple times between when she ran and when she had Lyla. After Lyla, I never saw her at all. My parents live in California, and I haven’t seen or spoken to them ov
er five years.”
Curious, Beckett pushed the bowl of cherries toward Savi, urging her to eat. “Why not?”
Savi continued to knead the pie dough, slapping it with the heel of her hand. “I was nineteen when Elaina ran, ten years ago. Afterward, my parents became obsessed with seeing me matched off to someone suitable who would pay for my ‘hobby’ with the baking. That’s how they thought of it. I objected to the idea and proceeded to rebel in my own little way.” She stopped kneading for a minute to fetch her rolling pin, beginning the process of rolling out the dough into a crust. “I married a cop in Chicago when I was twenty-four. It only lasted three years and the divorce was pretty messy. After that, I’ve got no interest in finding myself with another husband, and the McKenzie boys aren’t built for anything but marriage and families. They’d take a quick fling, but I respect Jax too much to have one with him, and I’m not looking for a relationship.”
Sensing there was more to the story, Beckett studied Savi carefully, knowing she was on thin ice. “What about kids? Don’t you want some of your own?”
Shaking her head, Savi responded flippantly. “I don’t think that’s in the cards, either. Just not my thing.” She laid the crust in the pie-pan and pressed the edges onto the glass. “I have Lyla. And I’ll just have to coo and fuss over yours when you have them.”
Choosing not to push, Beckett shrugged. “She’s certainly a handful.” Smiling, she stood and stretched. “I need to get back to work. I told myself I was only going to come in here for ten minutes, and it’s been thirty already.”
Striding through Vive, Beckett stopped several times to speak with clients and staff and to just admire the salon. Everything had come together with the expansion, and business was up fifteen percent over the previous winter. Reservations had increased, and the advertising she was doing was pulling in clients from Portland and as far away as Bangor.
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