No time. Tucker was at stroke level fury. “Nope. I have clothes there.”
“All right,” Toby said, opening the door he had just closed behind him. “After you.”
“Thank you.”
Toby smiled—like all was right with the world. “Of course. You know I’m a sucker for love.”
Somehow, Tucker managed a chuckle. He worried it sounded every bit as evil as he felt. Tucker didn’t recall a second of the drive to Orion’s house. His phone buzzed several times, but he was too angry to see clearly. Mister’s classic Mustang still sat in Orion’s driveway, proving he was a goddamn idiot.
“Hey, it looks like Mister got Orion home safely.”
“Sure,” Tucker said, jumping from the truck. “Thanks for the ride.” He slammed the door behind him without waiting to hear Toby’s response.
Toby climbed from the still running truck. “Hold up, Tucker. What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
Tucker didn’t slow. He stormed the back door that opened into Orion’s kitchen. Thankfully, it was unlocked. Tucker wasn’t sure he wouldn’t have kicked it in if it hadn’t been, even though he knew where Orion kept his spare key. Laughter filled the kitchen. He barely took in the room with one sweeping glance. It was enough to glean that they were having a grand time. Mister sat at Orion’s tiny kitchen table while Orion sat on the kitchen counter. Orion wore sweat shorts and a t-shirt, proving he had been undressed in the same house as Mister. That was enough for him.
“Hey, baby. Why haven’t you been answering my texts? You won’t believe—”
Tucker charged Mister, fully intent on killing him. Mister’s eyes widened as he scrambled from the chair and Orion slid in between them faster than he had ever seen Orion move. Too fast, in fact. Tucker’s forward momentum completely bowled him over. Everything inside Tucker froze as Orion hovered in the air for half a second before he went sprawling. It was like time slowed. Everything happened too fast for him to stop it and too slowly for him to miss a single detail. He swore he felt the thud of Orion’s head bouncing off the hard kitchen floor. The air caught and stuck in his throat.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Toby’s angry yell cut through the air behind him before he shoved Tucker aside.
Tucker hit his knees. Everything else stopped mattering the instant he harmed Orion. He would fucking die before ever hurting Orion, but he had. In that moment, he was his father. Words crowded his throat as he reached for Orion. He had no clue what he said. Tucker tried apologizing and explaining at the same time, but it came out a babbled mess. Toby pushed his hands away before he could touch Orion.
As Tucker looked on, Toby cupped Orion’s face. “Orion. Talk to me. Are you okay?”
Mister joined in, blocking Tucker’s view. He couldn’t see anything. Everything was a blur. In that moment, Tucker was convinced Orion was dead. Even if he hadn’t killed him, he had definitely murdered their love. He was his father, butchering everything beautiful he touched. It should be him. He was better off dead. Tucker should have died out in those woods with his father—put down like the rabid animal he was.
With his back pressed to the kitchen cabinet, Tucker sat. He saw nothing. Pain and horrible memories owned him. Orion was the one good thing in his life. Everything was gone now. People moved around him. Tucker heard wheezing—like a severe asthma attack. Nothing made sense. His eyes wouldn’t work. He wanted to check on Orion and keep him safe. The room spun. Something tapped his cheek.
“Breathe, idiot.”
Tucker tried to focus at the words. It sounded like Orion’s voice. He blinked. Something warm trailed down his face.
“Goddamn it, Tucker. Take a breath.”
Tucker sucked air. His vision cleared. Orion was inches from his face. The room slowly came into focus. Orion sat back on his ass—hard. He had an ice pack held to the back of his head.
“Could everyone leave, please?”
“Orion,” Mister said, obviously gearing up to argue. It couldn’t have been more obvious he didn’t think Orion should be alone with Tucker.
Tucker was still too frozen with shame, fear, and guilt to move.
Orion just sounded tired as he cut off whatever Mister had been about to say. “I’ll be fine. It’s late. Everyone should get home.”
“If you’re sure...”
Toby slapped Mister across the back and steered him toward the door. “Orion has things under control. I trust him. He wouldn’t be kicking us out if he didn’t feel safe here.”
Orion didn’t watch them go. His gaze never wavered from Tucker. The moment the door closed behind them, Orion took a deep breath. His chest expanded and his shoulders fell. “Are you okay?”
Tucker swallowed. His throat hurt. It took a moment, but he found his voice. “I should be the one asking you that.”
Orion dropped his arm and cradled the ice pack between his hands in his lap. “Do you want to tell me what just happened?”
“I don’t know.”
Orion’s brow furrowed. “You don’t know what happened or you don’t know if you want to tell me?”
Tucker blinked. His mind still wasn’t clear. Everything felt like it was on fire. He thought maybe it was the sensation of his life burning to the ground. Orion scooted closer and took Tucker’s wrist, grounding him with his touch. Tucker’s fingers closed around Orion’s wrist too. They held on to each other. Tucker swallowed again. “I’m scared.”
Orion’s expression never faltered. He looked calm. Of course, Orion was always calm. “You can talk to me, baby.”
“I hurt you.”
“You didn’t mean to. That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, but you need to talk to me. That wasn’t you who just burst through my kitchen door.”
Tucker shook his head. “That was my dad. His temper. His jealousy. Everyone was flirting with you and begging for your attention. Instead of being proud—like you deserve, I was angry. Then, Kevin wanted me to give you his number and started saying you weren’t safe with Mister. I don’t know what happened. One minute, I was there. The next, I was my dad. I couldn’t let Mister touch you.”
“Can I tell you what you should have done?”
As much as Tucker wanted to smile at Orion’s serious tone, he didn’t think he would ever smile again. “Please?”
“Check your phone.”
Tucker used his free hand to dig his phone from his shirt pocket. He opened his missed texts.
Orion: I’m changed, have a huge bag packed, and I’m trying to get Mister out of here so I can come to you.
Orion: He’s still talking, but I’m closer to the door. I packed enough stuff that I don’t have to come back here until next weekend. If you want, we can start moving me in then. That way, you don’t have to worry about where I call home.
Orion: Actually, I have something else I want to talk to you about. I decided tonight that I’m a chicken shit and should have talked to you sooner. Don’t go to sleep before I get there.
If Tucker hadn’t already felt like the worst person on the planet, now his pain was double. While he had been seething, Orion had been trying his damnedest to get to him.
He dropped his phone and banged his head against the cabinet behind him.
Orion swiped his thumb back and forth across his wrist, openly trying to soothe him. “Do you know why I fell in love with you?”
Tucker’s throat swelled. He tried to swallow past it. Tears spilled from his lashes with no control on his part. “No.” Even to his ears, Tucker sounded broken. “You shouldn’t have.”
“I fell in love with this part of you first.” Tucker dropped his chin and met Orion’s stare at the claim. He looked as steady as ever. His otherworldly eyes were clear as he waited for Tucker’s attention. When he had it, Orion continued. “I fell in love with this unabashedly emotional side of you. You laugh, yell, cry, and love without an ounce of embarrassment. It’s all passion driven. If you give a fuck what anyone thinks about how you embrace everything you feel, you don
’t show it. For someone who went completely unnoticed through life, the intense way that you love me is irresistible. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, but do you know it?”
More tears fell. He had never hurt worse in his life and that was saying a lot. “I would rather die than hurt you.”
Orion nodded, as if Tucker said exactly what he had expected. “You’re not your father.”
He didn’t deserve Orion.
Orion didn’t stop there. “Kevin is Mister’s ex. They had an extremely nasty break up. I imagine he said a lot of unnecessary things to you about Mister, but do you know what? None of that has anything to do with us. You will talk to me from now on before getting to this point, understood? I know we have shitty pasts that have damaged us in our own ways, but no matter what it is or when it is, even if you have to walk away from a paying client to come to me, you will talk to me.”
“I’m not ever taking another job. I can’t. You’re the only one for me. I can’t let anything come between us. Life is too hard without you.”
Orion took a deep breath. He looked sad but he didn’t argue. “You should probably apologize to Mister.”
“I will.”
“Do you ever plan to tell me you love me?”
Tucker fell forward. He couldn’t stop it from happening. His head landed in Orion’s lap as he rolled onto his side. In a fetal position, he snuggled as close as he could get to Orion, seeking the only comfort he had ever had in this world. “I love you. I’m so, so sorry.”
Orion ran his fingers through Tucker’s hair. “I know, baby.”
Tucker was half a second away from rocking himself in the corner. “Does your head hurt? I’m a terrible person. You shouldn’t love me.”
“Shush,” Orion said, scratching his scalp. “You have shown your love for me way more times than not. I know you. I know your heart. You will take this night to heart and never stop trying to fix it. That’s the best anyone can hope for, because no one is perfect. Plus, you’re the one for me. I can’t imagine my life without you being my constant hurricane. I’m very much in love with you, Tucker Jonas. Your heart is beyond beautiful.”
It wasn’t, but Tucker would do whatever it took to live up to Orion’s opinion. He still felt sick. In fact, he expected this hollow pit in his gut would be permanent. But Orion still loved him. That was the only thing holding him together. Tucker would cling to that.
Orion’s insides shook. The way Tucker had melted down was the most terrifying thing he had seen in a long time. The thing was, it was also reassuring on a level Orion had never experienced. Tucker would never hurt him or let anyone else harm him. He would never break Orion’s heart or abandon him. If only the idea of harming Orion broke Tucker down like this, Orion had nothing to fear. What terrified Orion the most was Tucker’s pain. He would never let any harm come to Tucker—mental or physical. Orion couldn’t undo the past, but he could build them a beautiful future, and he would.
He lightly scratched Tucker’s scalp. “Are you falling asleep on me?”
Tucker shook his head. “What did you want to talk to me about? Your text said you had something to say.”
He did, but now felt like a horrible time. “This feels like a bad time. You don’t love yourself right now.”
Tucker pressed his face to Orion’s stomach. Orion could feel his hot tears through his shirt. He had never seen Tucker hurting like this. It was horrible. He never wanted to see it again. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad time after all. It was possible he could fix it.
“Just don’t laugh at me, and I’ll say what I need to say, okay? I know I’m a hedgehog.” He felt Tucker press his face harder against his stomach, making Orion wonder if he was trying not to laugh. “I said not to laugh at me.”
“I’m not,” Tucker said, his voice muffled against Orion’s skin.
Mollified, Orion continued. “I know that I’m prickly and I make people work to get close to me. You know why I am the way I am. There’s no need for me to rehash it. I hate noise, yet you’re the loudest person I know and I can’t live without you. You have no idea how many times I’ve mused over that one. I think it’s because—to me—you’re not busy noise. You’re more like music.” He felt Tucker relax, so he kept talking. “Sometimes you’re soothing and other times you lift my mood.” Orion smiled and ran his fingers through Tucker’s hair. “Sometimes you match my rage. No matter what, we fit. Tonight, some guy offered me an eye-popping amount of money to go home with him. That’s why I stayed glued to Mister, because I didn’t feel safe, and you had a client. Obviously, I wasn’t the least bit tempted to accept that guy’s offer. But do you know how I responded?”
Tucker rolled onto his back and met Orion’s stare. He looked a complete mess. “Did you tell him you’re already married and should back the fuck off?”
A smile exploded across Orion’s face. He couldn’t help it. “Yes. That’s exactly what I said, and you know what? I realized as I said the words that it felt real. It didn’t feel like a lie, and that’s when I knew I had to try to make it as real as it felt. So, would you like to get hitched?”
Tucker didn’t answer right away, and Orion almost took it back. “When Kevin asked me to pass his number along, I told him you were engaged.” Tucker’s admission startled a chuckle from Orion. They were a pair. Tucker’s gaze locked on to Orion with so much intensity the sound died on his lips. He shook his head. His voice came out sounding strained. “It didn’t feel like a lie.” Tucker visibly swallowed. “It felt like he was trying to put his foot in my marriage, and I couldn’t let him. I don’t want it to be a lie.”
Orion’s chest swelled with happiness and pride. “Then we’ll make it real.”
Tucker took his hand and brought it to his mouth. “We will,” he whispered against Orion’s skin. “Will you take my last name?” Tucker asked, sounding excited and showing the first sign of life.
Orion jumped on the chance to lighten the mood. “I think I kind of have to.”
Tucker’s forehead furrowed. “Why would you have to?”
“Because you’re a Kodiak. Life without you would be un-bear-able.”
The sound that left Tucker was somewhere between a snort and laugh, but his eyes finally danced with happiness. “Jesus. I love you.”
Orion chuckled. “I’ve been saving that one for a rainy day. I love you too, baby. Do you think you’ll be okay now? My head is killing me, and I could really use some ibuprofen.”
Tucker immediately rolled into a sitting position in a sexy use of ab strength that made Orion’s mouth water. “Shit. I’m still on the floor, melting down, while you’re the one who’s hurt. Come on, baby. I’ll take care of you.” He swept Orion from the floor and into his arms. Tucker was so strong and sexy. It never stopped blowing Orion away that Tucker not only wanted Orion, but he let himself be vulnerable for Orion. Orion had gone into this thing, knowing Tucker had issues. He wouldn’t give up on him over one breakdown. There was no one better in his eyes.
Tucker carried Orion to bed and tucked him in. “Give me a minute. I’ll grab you a bottle of water and something for the pain.”
Orion nodded. His head was sore—like a huge knot was growing. As he watched, Tucker peeled off his jacket and shirt before tossing aside his belt. Suddenly, Orion’s blankets felt like too much. Heat spread beneath them. Tucker left the room, leaving him disappointed. Thankfully, he wasn’t gone long. With Orion’s giant duffel bag looped over his shoulder, a bottle of water in one hand and pills in the other, Tucker was back in no time. He dumped Orion’s bag in a chair by the bedroom door before joining Orion on the bed. Tucker opened his water for him and dug out two pills. He looked entirely too serious for Orion’s taste.
“I brought your bag, in case you need anything in it before bed.”
Orion swallowed his pills and shook his head. “All I need is you.”
Tucker nodded. “I’ll sleep on top of the covers, so you don’t have to worry about me bothering you,” he said, settling into th
e spot next to Orion on his side. “I’ll keep an eye on you for any signs of a concussion.”
A snort escaped Orion before he could call it back. He tossed the covers aside. “Okay. That’s enough of that. I’m not a weakling.” To emphasize his point, Orion tumbled Tucker onto his back. “I’m the only one who decides what I can handle and what I can’t. No way did I spend the night watching you from across the room, and convince you to marry me, to let you sleep on top of the covers. I’ve never had a headache that damn bad in my life.” Tucker didn’t fight him but nor did he help. He stayed completely still as Orion kissed his neck. Orion moved to his collarbone and then his nipple. Tucker stirred beneath him. Orion fought a smile as Tucker released a reluctant sounding moan. After one last flick of his tongue across Tucker’s nipple, Orion slipped farther down the bed. He counted Tucker’s ribs with his tongue as he slithered lower. Orion set Tucker’s erection free as he went, but he didn’t touch it. Instead, he licked around Tucker’s cock, ensuring he stayed close enough to drive Tucker insane. It was punishment for thinking to sleep above the covers when Orion deserved more.
Orion felt Tucker’s muscles tense. That was all the warning he got before he found himself on his back, staring at the ceiling with his dick in Tucker’s mouth. Orion’s eyes rolled back in his head. Tucker wasn’t teasing. He was set to steal Orion’s soul. Tucker stopped long enough to bare the bottom half of Orion’s body and then he was back. Orion was a panting and babbling mess. He didn’t understand what happened anytime he was in a sexual situation with Tucker, but Orion always transformed into a confident and dominant version of himself that he didn’t recognize. He grabbed Tucker’s hair and hung on. Orion’s hips rolled as he took what he wanted from Tucker’s mouth. Tucker didn’t merely accept Orion’s punishment. He reveled in it. Saliva ran down Orion’s cock as he slammed against the back of Tucker’s throat. Tucker took every ounce of the abuse.
“That’s it, sexy. Suck me. Oh, god. Yes. Like that.”
Next Best Thing Page 7
