by Ford, Lizzy
Hmm. So I have a father. I wasn’t sure how else to ask about who Nell thought I was. Carter had said to play along. I just needed a few notes on who I was supposed to be, and then I could probably manage it. He had clearly placed me in a safe environment, or so it seemed.
“Look.” Nell pulled a photo off the mantle and crossed to me, sitting beside me on the bed. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
The girl in the photograph did look a lot like me. Long, flowing blonde hair, a small frame. There was no color in the photograph, but her eyes were light, her skin ivory. The differences were subtle: the girl in the picture appeared a little taller than me, if the chair photographed was the same one by the window. Her lips were thinner, her hair straight where mine was wavy.
We could’ve been sisters, I acknowledged silently. But this isn’t me.
“I expect there are some changes. Frontier life is not easy on us,” Nell said, before I was able to speak. “But your father … he came back to life when you were brought to his door.” Her eyes sparkled with happiness. “As did I.”
Play along, Carter had said. Thinking of him made me stretch for the pocket that wasn’t there.
“Nell!” I exclaimed. “Have you seen my phone?” At the blank look she gave me, I racked my mind for an explanation. “A small, silver box that was in my pocket when I came here.”
“You mean the devil’s box?” Nell’s voice was hushed. “I have it. I did not let your father see it, Josie.”
“Right. Where is it?”
Nell hesitated then got up and went to a jewelry box on a vanity near the window. She opened it and pulled out the phone.
I almost sighed with relief.
Nell put it back quickly, closed the box and kissed the dainty golden cross she wore on a thin chain around her neck.
“So I am the daughter of John,” I began. There was no easy way to figure out who I was. “I’ve been gone for a year because … why did I leave?”
“A certain obligation,” Nell whispered, as if I should know. “Do you remember?”
“No.”
“You were to marry a man your father chose.”
I started to laugh then stopped at Nell’s confused look. I hadn’t thought twice about the status of women in the Old West. Recalling that the women’s rights movements didn’t start for another almost hundred years, I began to think I had a lot of learning to do in order to fit in.
“Now that I’m back, do I have to marry him still?” I asked.
“He has since married another,” Nell added.
“Oh.” My gaze went to the jewelry box. “Good for him, I guess.”
“Would you like to dress to see your father?”
“Um, yes. Yes I would.”
Nell appeared pleased. “I’ll prepare your gown.” She hurried out the door.
I shook my head and went to the vanity. I pulled the cell free and examined it again. Like yesterday, there was no battery and no signal – and two messages from Carter. At least he was keeping up his part of the deal and texting. I gazed at the phone, grappling with the idea that somehow, Carter was communicating with me, even though we were two centuries apart.
I wished I’d had more of a science mind. I knew nothing of physics or how any of this was possible. Not about to question it, so long as he was talking to me, I kissed the cell, my one connection to my time.
Be like Amy Pond or Clara Oswald, I told myself, recalling my favorite Doctor Who companions. They were never scared or worried when they went to strange worlds or hostile time periods.
Next to the phone was a familiar, folded coat. I touched the soft brown leather. The lawman with the beautiful eyes had given it to me. I recalled meeting him clearly, down to his reticence about telling me anything, but not what happened before that ended with me waking up in a crater.
I picked up my cell, more interested in the messages.
It should be mid September, 1842, claimed the first. The girl you’re pretending to be shares your name! Isn’t that an awesome coincidence?
The décor of the room and Nell’s explanations seemed to support the bizarre words.
“Kind of a weird coincidence,” I whispered to him. Starting to smile, I read the second note, hoping for information about who I was supposed to be.
Put a passcode on your screen.
“That’s it?” I murmured. “Genius enough to send me back in time, male enough not to realize how big of a deal that really is. No tips on how to … wait, do they even have flushing toilets?”
I sent him a long message in response with half a dozen questions. The alleged brain chip that held historical knowledge hadn’t kicked in. At least, I didn’t know anything more about bathrooms than I did before.
Just as I finished, Nell returned, this time with a long dress draped carefully over her arms.
“You want me to wear that?” I asked in surprise and started to laugh. “It’s September! I’ll burn up.”
“It’s your father’s favorite gown, Miss Josie. He bought the material from Spain, because it matches your eyes.” Nell’s gaze misted over.
I took two drama classes and didn’t feel too silly pretending to be someone’s daughter in the eighteen hundreds. It was like a really intense play. But the wardrobe …
Ugh. The gown looked heavy and uncomfortable – not the kind of clothing I was accustomed to wearing – and came in two pieces: an elaborately decorated bodice and layered, bell-shaped petticoats. It was as far from yoga pants and a tank top as anyone could ever get. My bestie back home used to say I was too nice, because, right now, I was going to wear that mess of a gown and probably end up overheating and dying of dehydration rather than refusing and upsetting a complete stranger who appeared ready to cry.
“Sounds great,” I said. “So … how is Father?”
Nell set the gown down on the bed, left and returned with more items of clothing: a chemise, corset and stockings. She spoke as she moved briskly. “He is not well. His health has been declining since your disappearance, and his mind is not right. I fear for him, Miss Josie. He is too agitated by your return. You must strive not to jest the way you always do and to be dutiful.”
Dutiful. Ha! “I’ll be good, Ms. Nell,” I replied cheerfully.
“Come!” she said and motioned me over.
Nell stripped my nightgown off with speed that left me embarrassed. Seemingly unaware of my nakedness, Nell pulled free a clean shift and tugged it over my head.
I pushed my arms through it then eyed the corset. It appeared rigid and unfriendly. I soon had a reason to despise it even more.
Nell fastened it around me then yanked the ties as far as they would go, binding and tightening it around me until I wasn’t able to draw a full breath. With my waist held in and my breasts pushed up, I tossed my head back to try to breath better.
And then it hit me.
“Um, Nell?” I asked. “I need to um … go to the restroom.” I was definitely not looking forward to my options in this regard.
“To make?”
“Yes. I think.”
Nell left my side and went to a wardrobe. She pulled out two pieces of china: a dainty, porcelain, round bowl, and what looked like a gravy boat and set them down. She rested a cotton washcloth on top of the big one.
“Chamber pot and bordalou, as you prefer,” she said.
I eyed both and began to wonder how many of my aunt’s antique china pieces were really bordalous instead of dinnerware. “Right,” I mumbled. “Love my bordalou.”
Nell smiled patiently and stood aside, waiting.
“Isn’t there an outhouse or something?” I asked.
“A lady does not use the same water-closet as the servants!”
Okay, whatever. “Can I have some privacy?”
Nell nodded her head once. “I’ll bring you some tea.”
“Thanks.” I watched her leave then stared at the pot. This is gonna be rougher than I thought.
I snapped a photo of the two dainty urina
ls and sent it to Carter, pretty sure he’d get a kick out of it, then pulled up my chemise. Unable to bend over, I thanked the heavens repeatedly for the intense yoga classes I took with my aunt as I lowered myself with pure thigh power.
Ready to laugh at the idea of peeing in a bowl, I managed to do it and stand.
Only when I stepped away did I realized I had completely missed the pot.
“Shit,” I muttered, face getting hot at the idea of Nell seeing what I had done.
As if on cue, the matronly nanny opened the door, carrying a tray of tea and delicate cups.
“I can explain,” I started, startled. “I didn’t mean to go … make on the floor.”
Nell wasn’t fazed. “The doctor said it would be a while until your mind returns to you.”
There’s no response for that. It took a lot to embarrass me, and in that moment, my face was hot.
“Let us finish. The tea will be cool enough to drink,” Nell said without missing a beat.
After peeing on the floor, I wasn’t about to complain about another layer of discomfort.
Nell stood on a small stool and draped the petticoats over my head. I stood with my arms in the air while the nanny tugged it down over my body. She placed the bodice on next, and another set of straps or ties was tightened. I lowered my hands. In addition to the layers, the gown had long sleeves as well.
I was burning up.
“Sit. Drink your tea while I straighten up,” Nell said. “Your favorite breakfast will be cold soon.”
I mumbled a thank you and sat. I was hardly able to move, and my breathing was becoming labored. I struggled to pour tea in the stiff get-up and sat back finally, tea cup in hand.
Tea smells the same now as it does in the future. I sipped, added sugar, and then drank it down. The familiarity of a cup of tea did more than I expected to settle the part of me that was a little shaken at the thought of being dropped into the eighteen hundreds with the mission of finding two men, one of which I was supposed to stop from doing something in a few days.
There was cut fruit, ham and boiled eggs for breakfast, along with a slice of bread with jam. I ate what I could but quickly found it hard to keep much down with my torso in a vise.
“Are there … Indians near by?” I asked when it was impossible to eat more.
“Yes. Your father’s lands borders theirs.”
“Great. We can go visit.”
Nell paused in her chores of straightening my room. “Miss Josie, that would not be appropriate.”
“Because …” I waited and sipped my tea.
“They’re savages and you are a gentlewoman.”
Good lesson. “But if we’re neighbors, doesn’t Father talk to them?”
“Not often.” Nell began brushing my hair with a thick brush. “Don’t you get it in your mind to upset your father by asking him to visit the Indians. He’s delicate, Miss Josie.”
“I won’t.” I grimaced. She didn’t bother to pluck out the knots in my curls but was raking through them. “What do you think happened to … uh, me during the time I was gone?”
Nell’s strokes paused for a moment before they began again. “It’s not possible for an un-chaperoned, unwed girl with your beauty to survive away from her father’s house for long this side of the Mississippi, especially with so many savages taking slaves and the cavalry conscripting anyone they deem lost. There’s no real law out here, either,” she replied. “I reckon you went east like you always said you would and got yourself knocked about bad.”
“It sounds like quite an adventure.”
“None of your jests Miss Josie. A woman is safe in her father’s home and her husband’s. Nowhere else in this godforsaken Indian Territory. This isn’t Boston.”
I considered the words, not certain why they confused me so much. Maybe because my life was so different. It was intriguing to witness firsthand – yet unsettling as well.
“What if John … Father … doesn’t want me here?” I ventured. “Will my appearance upset his health?”
“Nonsense, child. You came back … different, I’ll admit, but he has never stopped waiting for you. He will love you as he always has,” Nell said. “You leaving broke him. He’s a different man, Miss Josie. He won’t be angry no more about your fiancé and he won’t force you into a new marriage.”
Seated in a stranger’s house with a woman who thought me someone else brushing my hair, I felt guilty for a moment, like what I was doing – pretending to be someone I wasn’t – was somehow wrong. If Carter sent me back here, he had a reason. I didn’t think he’d ask me to do something that was bad, yet I couldn’t help thinking the people of this house would be sad when I left.
“That’s good,” I said. As soon as John saw me, he’d know. A nanny might be fooled, but I didn’t think a father was going to be convinced a stranger was his daughter, no matter how much I resembled the real Josie.
Nell finished brushing and twisting my hair into an elaborate bun on top of my head before she went to the wardrobe.
I glanced down at my phone and saw a message from Carter.
OMG! Of all the things you could send me pics of, you chose THAT?
It took effort not to laugh. Nell already thought there was something wrong with me for running away. I tucked the phone in a pocket in the gown and gazed around me, amazed at the relative comfort of the room compared to the near squalor of the bedrooms I saw on the tour at Tombstone. John was wealthy – a pleasant surprise I’d thank Carter for later.
My thoughts turned to my mission. How did I find the two men I sought in a world without so much as a phone book, let alone the internet? Did I go door to door until someone recognized the name? Or wait for the brain chips to activate?
Nell knelt in front of me with a pair of leather booties. I lifted my feet one by one and placed them in the boots.
“There,” she said and sat back, satisfied. “Now, we must meet your father.”
I rose - and almost fell. Lightheaded from the corset, headachy from unexpected brain surgery, I braced myself against the table.
“Nell, I can’t breathe!” I gasped. “You gotta loosen that thing.”
“You must be attired in the proper style,” Nell said. “You will adjust.”
This is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard of.
I struggled to catch my breath then straightened. It took a moment for me to find balance. “All right. I’m ready.”
Nell was smiling, her eyes filled with tears. “Welcome back, Miss Josie. I’ve missed you dearly,” she said.
Guilt stirred once more. I bit my tongue and forced a smile. I had to play along. If I hurt these people, it wasn’t on purpose. I was here for a very good cause: to save a million lives.
Except I had no idea where to start or even if I landed in the right place to make a difference.
I trailed my governess out of my room. Nell was speaking quietly about the people who lived in the house, as if to remind me. I tried to listen but wasn’t able to concentrate, instead taking in my surroundings with curiosity. I was in my own wing of a two-story house that appeared to be quite large.
A sweeping stairwell led to the first floor and the front door, which was flanked by two massive rooms with expensive, period furniture, including a piano and a harp.
At least my fake-daddy is rich, I thought. Portraits of stern men lined the wide corridor on the main floor, which was edged by closed doors. Judging by the paintings, my father was going to be a grave, bearded man who looked ready to order my beheading.
“Oh!” Nell exclaimed suddenly, stopping. “You cannot see your father for the first time if you aren’t wearing the necklace he bought you on your last birthday.” She pulled a small box from the depths of her apron and opened it.
“Wow,” I breathed.
The black choker contained an emerald the size of my thumb.
Nell put it on with steady fingers, and I touched it. That would definitely pay off my student debt.
I’m goi
ng to hell for that thought. My goal had to be to leave as small of an indent on these people and this time period as possible. I definitely wasn’t going to steal from them.
We stopped in a doorway to a masculine study that smelled of pipe smoke.
“He must be with the savages still,” Nell said, a note of disapproval in her voice.
“The ones that found me?” I asked.
“Yes. They brought you to us last night.”
“Do you know from what direction?” I asked quickly, heartbeat quickening.
“You were on their land.” Nell shrugged. “Wait here. I’ll fetch him.”
“Shouldn’t I thank them?”
Nell faced me, startled. I had the sense I had said something wrong without knowing what exactly.
“It would not be appropriate,” Nell said finally. “Wait here, Miss Josie.”
Bullshit. I waited for her to disappear out the door then followed, easing the heavy wooden door open and closed behind me. The scent of wood burning and horses reached me. My gaze swept over a corral with three horses, multiple barns of ranging sizes and a carriage parked nearby.
Nell hurried towards a tall, bearded man with a cane and a top hat who stood with two men wearing faded badges on their vests. Two Native Americans hung back from them.
I started towards the group, wanting to know from what direction they’d brought me and the distance, so I was able to find my way back. Whether or not it mattered, I wasn’t certain. But I woke up in the past in that spot; it held some sort of significance. Maybe it was where Carter would pull me back to the future. At the very least, I wanted to grab a couple chunks of the moldavite before returning.
Pain shot through my head once more. I touched it with one hand, not wanting to stop and nurse it. Sunspots appeared, and I shook my head. The reminder of my involuntary brain surgery irked me. I hoped the chips did what Carter said they would. Not one to bear grudges, I decided the socially awkward man would benefit from a couple pieces of advice about how to kidnap and send people back in time.
My step slowed when one of the men noticed me. If his nose had been less crooked, his jaw straight and his bushy eyebrows trimmed, he might pass as rugged. But the combination, along with the amount of dirt on his exposed skin rendered him merely ugly. His eyes were brown, not the gorgeous green I had seen last night.
