I smiled, but the cut on my lip split with the movement and I hissed, touching it lightly.
Hayden was immediately in front of me, his finger touching the spot lightly. When he pulled back, there was blood on his fingertip.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, turning to find a tissue.
“When I saw that guy pull you into that alley…” He seemed to choke on something, his own emotions, maybe. “I can’t stand the idea of anyone hurting you.”
I snorted as I grabbed a tissue from a box sitting on the small desk in the corner, near the windows. I pressed it to my lip, slowing the blood.
“Only you can hurt me, then?” I asked softly.
“Me?”
I glanced at him. “All the jokes about my clothes? You always calling me a grandma?”
“That’s just in fun.”
“It doesn’t feel fun.” I turned to the small mirror that hung over the desk, dabbing at my lip to make sure it had stopped bleeding again. “It feels like I’m back in school, back with the kids who thought it was funny to torture me with jokes like that.”
“That wasn’t my intention.”
I wadded up the tissue and tossed it into the wastebasket. “But that’s what you do. You flirt with every other girl in the office, but when it comes to me, you can’t seem to help yourself. You have to make me feel as ugly and frumpy as you can.”
He didn’t respond. I looked at him and saw how stunned he was by my words. He must have been shocked that I’d actually stood up for myself for once.
I was a little shocked that I stood up for myself for once.
He stormed toward me, his hands raised. I backed up, not sure what his intentions were. He grabbed my arms and forced me to turn and look at us both in the mirror.
He leaned close and whispered in my ear.
“You’re beautiful.” He touched my face, my eyes falling to his bruised and raw knuckles, damaged by the beating he’d given the mugger.
For me.
He brushed his fingers over my jaw. “You have this heart shaped face like nothing I’ve ever seen before, a beautiful face with the most serene green eyes. Your every emotion is in those eyes, always shining out onto the world without the shame or fear that most people hide behind. You look at the world with a sense of innocence that I admire. I wish I could do the same thing…that I could see the world the way you see it because, quite frankly, this world scares the shit out of me.”
He lifted my wet hair, laying it gently over one shoulder.
“Your auburn hair is a perfect contrast to your pale skin. Your shoulders are so dainty that sometimes I wonder how you can hold up all the chaos and stress of the office the way you do on such fragile shoulders.” He touched my throat ever so lightly, his fingertips lightly gliding over the tender skin. “When you wear your hair up, I find it incredibly difficult not to stare at your throat, to not imagine what it would be like to kiss you here”—he brushed his fingers over my throat again—“to taste you here.”
I shivered even as my eyes fell from the mirror.
“Don’t lie to me just because you feel sorry for me.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you, Sam.” He slid his fingers carefully under the top edge of the bathrobe, his fingertips brushing the swell of my breasts. “I feel so many things for you, but none of it is sorry.”
“Please, Hayden…”
He turned me around and forced me to sit on the edge of the desk. “You’ve gotten under my skin, Sam. I can’t think about anything but you.”
I started to shake my head, but he grabbed my jaw and forced me still. And then he kissed me, his lips demanding against mine. I couldn’t help myself. I responded to him; I allowed my lips to part ever so slightly and that was enough. He buried himself against me, pressing his tongue against places that had never been touched before. I didn’t know where to put my nose; I didn’t know how to breathe. But I didn’t want it to stop.
I’d been an observer all my life, always watching other people fall in love: Megan and Luke all through high school, all the way through to their aborted wedding; Cole and all the girls in his life, a few of my friends in high school, and then Amber, the one who finally stole his heart. There was Peter—oh, I had such a crush on Peter once upon a time!—and the girl he’d fallen for, the one he thought would be his forever, but who walked away before forever could even begin.
Then there were all these big, handsome men. The men in the Marines who looked at me as the brain they had to push through basic training, but who could return the favor when it came time to go through specialization training. None of them had seen me as anything more than that. And then Dragon. All these big, handsome men, all of them single until recently. None of them saw me. But, to be honest, I never really expected them to.
And then there was Hayden.
All this time, watching him flirt with everyone else—Megan, the other girls in the office, our female clients—it killed a little bit of my soul. I didn’t want to like him; I didn’t want to get a secret thrill every time he smiled at me with that charming smile he had. But I couldn’t help myself.
And now…how many times had I imagined this moment? And how sick had I been to have my very first kiss be from him, but be wrapped in the guise of an act, an undercover operation that we were both getting paid to participate in?
Was this just an extension of that? Did it matter?
I’d wanted this for so long that I couldn’t make myself pull away. I couldn’t convince my heart that I was only rushing toward heartbreak. I couldn’t make my hands stop slipping over his shoulders, my fingers from burying themselves in his hair.
He moaned softly against my mouth, his hands slipping over my thighs, tugging my hips closer against him as he leaned into me. I fell back against the cool surface of the mirror, pulling him with me. It was an awkward angle, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was kissing me almost roughly, his hands sliding over my thigh, searching for the bottom edge of the bathrobe. My heart was pounding, my breath coming in small gasps. I’d never been touched this way. Was it normal to feel like I was suffocating?
His hand discovered my bare knee just as a knock sounded on the door.
“Room service!” a disembodied voice called.
Hayden moaned, reluctantly pulling away from my lips. He rested his forehead against mine for a brief moment, and then turned toward the door.
“Coming.”
I stood as he opened the door, pulling the front of my robe tighter against me. The waiter walked in, carrying a tray that held a teapot and a selection of tea bags, along with two dainty cups. Again, the idea of Hayden sipping out of a cup that was more than a third smaller than his hand made me want to laugh. I turned away, moving to stand at the window. The world was still there—people rushing around on foot and in their cars, moving in and out of buildings like ants in one of those clear, plastic ant farms.
It seemed odd to me, somehow, that the world was still the same after everything that had been going on in my life these last few weeks. It felt like it should have stopped, or at least changed in some way.
But, just because my world was coming apart at the edges, didn’t mean everyone else’s was.
I heard the door close and felt Hayden’s footsteps as he came to me. I thought he would rest his hands on my shoulders; I even tensed a little there, preparing for the weight of his touch. I thought he’d want to talk—to explain why what had just happened hadn’t really been what I thought it was. I thought he would be filled with regret. Disgust even. He had been caught up in the moment, but this interruption had allowed him to come to his senses.
But that’s not what happened.
Without warning, he swept me up in his arms and carried me to the bed. He lay me gently, his mouth pressed to my throat as he balanced himself over me on his hands and knees. I didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to respond. But my fingers somehow found themselves in his hair, tugging him closer to me. And then his mouth was on mine again and
I was gone. There was so little thought, just need. Just want. Just this ache that had always been there inside of me, this ache that I’d assumed would never be satisfied.
This was my chance to experience things I’d heard about, listened to Megan whisper about, something I’d read about and dreamt about…but observers are very rarely participants.
He stretched out beside me, his hands so gentle as they touched me through the thick material of the robe. His lips slid over my chin, moving up along my jaw. Then he was kissing my throat, nibbling at my neck here and there as his fingers gently began to part the top of the robe. I closed my eyes, trying not to panic, trying not to realize that I was about to be naked in front of a man for the first time in my life.
His hand was warm, the skin surprisingly soft, as he brushed his fingers over my nipples, as he gripped one breast and squeezed it ever so gently. Every nerve in my body seemed to come alive with his touch and scream out for more. When his hot breath touched my breast, I thought I might jump out of my skin. And then he was drawing my nipple into his mouth, and that was even more intense, even better that just his touch.
I ran my fingers through his hair, needing to touch him, needing to know that this was real and not just some powerful dream—another fantasy. But he was so real, and he looked up at me, his eyes dark with need. No one had ever looked at me like that before.
I wanted this…God, I wanted this!
And, right now, I didn’t care why it was happening. I just…I wanted it.
He spread the robe open as he slowly moved down the length of my body. He dragged his lips over my belly, pressing the tip of his tongue into my navel. And then he was peppering my hips with little kisses, nibbling here and there as he moved down to my thigh. He was careful to move the material of the robe in such a way that he only uncovered little bits of me here and there, clearly aware that I wasn’t quite ready to be completely exposed.
When he knelt beside me and began to unbutton his shirt, I was torn between being an observer and being a participant. I wanted to touch him—I wanted it so much that my fingers actually itched with anticipation—but I wanted to see him, too. He watched me, his eyes moving slowly over my face. There was something about the way he looked at me, the way his eyes stayed on my face and didn’t move down along the exposed places of my body that gave me courage. I pulled myself up to my knees and ran my hands slowly over his broad chest where he was slowly exposing himself with each button he released.
He was unmarked by tattoos. I knew most of the guys who worked at Dragon had tattoos—Megan once described Dante’s tattoos to me in detail—so I’d expected a few on Hayden. But when he slipped the shirt from his arms, there was nothing but the perfection of his deeply tanned skin.
We sat there for a few minutes, both of us on our knees on the edge of that big, soft bed, staring at each other. I touched him, my fingers sliding slowly over the lines of his pecs, the hills and valleys of his muscles. He seemed to suck them in as my fingers moved lower over him, tension defining his incredibly tone body. His hands hesitated as he lifted them, holding still inches from my skin. And then he was slipping them under the edges of my robe, pushing it off my shoulders, watching closely as he slowly removed the heavy material from my body.
I leaned into him, kissed his throat and tasted the light sheen of salt on his skin. He drew me close, his hands slipping over the length of my bare back. I closed my eyes, wanting nothing more than to be completely present in this moment. I’d never imagined being in this place, so I was pretty sure I would never have the chance to be here again. I wanted to experience everything he was willing to allow me.
Hayden’s arms came around me, his hands sliding under the pooled terrycloth to cup my bottom. He tugged me close to him even as my head moved lower down, brushing over his collarbone to tease his teeny, hard nipples. One hand brushed across the back of my head as the other slid over my bare bottom, his fingers brushing my most intimate parts. I moaned as he twisted his fingers in my hair and lifted my head up, pulling my lips back to his.
We fell backward somehow, back against the pillows. He was heavy, his weight threatening to crush me. But it didn’t feel the way I expected it to. My skin tingled everywhere he touched me, and my heart pounded as anticipation built in my nervous system. I didn’t know what to expect, but my body did. My body knew the pleasure it was capable of experiencing. And my body was more than ready to open to need, to desire, to pleasure.
He kissed me roughly as he pushed himself up on his hands, even as his hips moved forward, forcing my legs apart, forcing his hardness against me. I instinctively moved my body with him so that we touched in all the right places. My hands slid up over his hips, the thick material of his slacks the only thing between us now. I found the buckle of his belt, but his hand was there, pushing me away. He needed to do this part, maintaining as much control as he possibly could. I lay back and let him.
I felt the brush of his fingers as he worked his slacks open and the heave of his breathing when he freed himself. My eyes were closed, my mind threatening to take control over my body. I knew that would be a mistake, that this was not something that required a lot of thought. So I opened my eyes and looked up at him, and I saw the need and the desire in his eyes. I saw him look at me with a level of affection that made my head swim, pushing back all those reckless thoughts. He wanted me. Hayden Dubois wanted me. That was all I needed to know right in that moment.
Again, his fingers brushed me. And then he was pressing his cock against me, rubbing it against my clit, encouraging my cunt to open wide for him. I lifted my hips just slightly as he pushed forward, our bodies connecting at just the right spot. He entered me, and all these things went through my head all at the same time. Pleasure. Pain. Fear. Excitement. He tried to be gentle, filling me slowly as a hiss of pleasure slipped from between his teeth. He waited once he was buried deep inside of me, his breath washing over my cheek, his hand sliding carefully along my hip. Then he was pulling me against him, teaching me how to move as he thrust inside of me.
I clung to him, my hands sliding over his back. He whispered my name once, his lips close to my ear. And that…there couldn’t be anything better than your name on the lips of the man you desire more than any other.
We rocked together carefully, slowly, our fingers buried in each other’s flesh. I opened my eyes and watched the pleasure dance over his face. He touched me, his hand sliding over my face. But then his head reared back and he made sounds I’d never heard before, ecstasy bursting from his throat as he sailed into his orgasm. He filled me with life at a moment when I needed it more than he could ever imagine.
Life was precious, and this…I couldn’t possibly ask for more.
Chapter 5
Hayden
My cellphone was ringing. Again.
I rolled over and reached for it, but it wasn’t on the nightstand. I opened a single eye and didn’t recognize anything around me. It took a second, but I finally remembered where I was.
Hotel.
Sam.
I sat up, looking for her in the dim light, but she was gone.
“Sam?”
I stumbled out of bed and went to the bathroom, but the door was open and she was nowhere to be found. Her clothes, abandoned on the floor last night, were gone, too.
Fuck! Where the hell had she gone?
The cellphone wasn’t going to leave me alone. I crossed the room again, fumbling through the pocket of my suit jacket for the device. The first thing that registered was that it was nine o’clock. I’d actually slept until nine o’clock in the morning. When was the last time that’d happened? I hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since I was a small child.
The second thing that registered was that the number was routed from the Dragon Security offices, meaning it was Rita, the crooked loan officer.
“Hello?”
“Morning, Mr. Brown. I hope I’m not disturbing anything.”
“Not if you have good news.”
>
“Well, then,” she said, amusement oozing from her words, “I think I’m about to make your day. Your loan has been approved.”
“That’s great!”
“If I could run by your hotel room, we can get the papers signed and you’ll have your house before the end of the month.”
“Wonderful. I’ll be here all morning.”
“Great.”
The moment I disconnected the call, I put one through to Dominic.
“I thought we were done with this case.”
“Megan says that the president of the bank wants her red handed. He wants her to turn the paperwork over to you so that you can testify in court if it comes to that.”
A choking sensation came over me at the image of sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from some lawyer who thought his client shat roses every morning.
“I don’t testify. You know that.”
“It’s just a formality, Hayden. You know these things rarely come to that.”
“But I have to stick around and let this woman fawn all over me?”
“It’ll take twenty minutes.”
“And how do I explain Sam’s absence?”
“I don’t know. Come up with something. And make sure you wear the wireless video camera. We don’t want to miss anything.”
I grumbled a minute longer, but agreed. I jumped into the shower, my thoughts going back to last night. Sam, so soft and warm, writhing beneath me…my cock hardened at the memory. I didn’t understand why she left without waking me. But when I was out of the shower, dressed and trying to clean up what little mess we’d made of the place, I found her note.
Thank you, Hayden. But this can only be a one-time thing.
What the hell did that mean?
Before I had a chance to contemplate it, there was a knock on the door. I quickly grabbed the video camera and stuck it in the lapel of my shirt and shoved the note in my pocket.
“Mr. Brown,” Rita said softly, shaking her ass for all it was worth as she moved past me into the room. “I’m so happy my bank was able to help you out.”
HAYDEN (Dragon Security Book 5) Page 4
