Ursula, though, didn’t have to act frightened or worried – it was all natural. When she finally found the strength to get up from the sofa, she addressed the other officer. “Please, come with me. I’ll show you the remaining rooms. I hope they didn’t have time to steal anything.”
While showing him Anna’s room first, she racked her brain to remember if any traces of Tom’s existence still remained in the apartment. She had cleaned and ventilated his room, changed the bedsheets, trashed his prisoner’s uniform near Plötzensee.
An hour later, after no stone remained unturned, the two officers had to admit that there was no trace of an intruder to be found. Again, Ursula and Anna were questioned if anything was missing, or if they’d noticed a peculiar change, but the questions were much more benevolent, and Anna never missed a single opportunity to cast her big blue eyes at the Gestapo officer that had taken a liking to her.
Frau Weber insisted on her version of things, until the more serious officer had enough and exchanged a look with his colleague. Then he ordered her out of the apartment. She looked slightly shell-shocked but quickly pursed her lips and disappeared.
Ursula inwardly spoke a prayer that the harping vulture was gone.
Anna used the opportunity to up her game and looked up at the two young men with her big blue eyes while flicking her straight blonde hair back over her shoulder. Ursula noticed that her sister’s neckline hung slightly lower than before and exposed just a hint of her breasts. The officer had noticed it too and kept his eyes glued to her skin.
“Thank you so much for making us feel safe again,” Anna said with her best damsel-in-distress voice. “We are only weak little women, we have no hope of protecting ourselves against burglars – or worse.” A shudder racked her frame before she focused on her officer. “You are a real-life hero. How can we ever thank you enough for your bravery and the service you do for our country? I would invite you for a cup of tea if that weren’t inappropriate.” She gave a slight eye flutter, and Ursula could not help being impressed.
“I’m afraid, Fräulein, we can’t accept your generous invitation as it would indeed be inappropriate,” the other officer said and cast a warning glance to his lovesick colleague.
Anna smiled gracefully and led them to the door.
Ursula heard the Gestapo cautioning her sister to always keep all the windows closed and the door tightly locked. When Anna sauntered back into the living room and flopped onto the sofa beside her, Ursula said, “That was magnificent, sister. Are you sure you want to become a biologist? Because I think your calling must be as an actress!”
Anna cuddled against her and giggled. “Told you it would come in handy one day.”
“I’m just glad we moved Tom to the allotments last night,” Ursula murmured and then leapt to her feet. “I completely forgot him. I have to bring him food, he must be so hungry.”
“No. You can’t leave now. We need to stay here. The Gestapo officers seemed to believe our story, but they might be secretly watching us now. Waiting for us to make a mistake and going to warn the man we were hiding. We can’t risk that. Tom has to wait until tomorrow.”
Ursula sighed. “You’re right. I’ll bet Frau Weber is pressing her ear against the wall, listening to our every step.”
That night, Ursula and Anna slept in the same bed both as scared as if there truly had been a burglar in their apartment. They held each other closely as their minds raced.
“Are you asleep?” Ursula asked.
“No.”
“What if we are caught? That was close. Too close. Imagine if Mutter hadn’t decided to return to Berlin…” The unspoken threat hung in the air like a heavy burden pressing down on her chest.
“I’m scared too. But at least with him out of the house, we aren’t compromised if he’s caught.”
Ursula inhaled deeply. She was sure Tom would rather die than betray them. And judging by his file, the Gestapo had already tried a vast number of different methods to make him talk. No, he wouldn’t mention their names.
“What should we do now? I’m not sure I can keep this pretense up much longer. Today at work...one of the prisoners asked me if something was wrong. I’m not doing a good enough job hiding my emotions. What if someone else notices?”
“You started this thing, now you have to go through with it,” Anna said. “I’m actually proud of you. My sister who’s never broken the rules is smuggling a prisoner of war out of the country. How swell is that?”
A pink heat blossomed on Ursula’s cheeks at the compliment. A pink that only intensified as the cogs in her mind turned, and something clicked into place.
“Oh no! I was supposed to visit with Pfarrer Bernau hours ago. He must be worried to death.”
“Well, he’ll have to wait, too. Visit him in the morning before you go to work. What would our new Gestapo friends say if they found us sneaking out in the middle of the night?”
“Gooodness, I hope he doesn’t come looking for me.”
“He won’t. No doubt, Pfarrer Bernau has lived through a situation like this more than once and knows how to behave.” Anna pulled Ursula’s head onto her chest in a warm embrace, the straight blonde hair mingling with blonde curls.
They lay there, holding each other all night. Ursula’s stomach remained squeezed into knots, despite her sister’s best efforts to set her at ease. Finally, she drifted off to sleep disturbed by troubling nightmares.
Ursula was running through an endless forest with something chasing her. But she could not see what it was, only sense its presence and that it was coming closer and closer and closer, no matter how fast she ran.
Chapter 16
When Ursula awoke the next morning, she sleepily stretched her arms and touched a human being lying in bed with her. She shot upright and gazed at her sister cuddling a pillow.
The events of the day before came rushing back. Ursula opened the blackout curtains, and sunshine streamed into the room. Reflections danced on Anna’s nose and made her sneeze.
“Hey, sleepyhead, don’t you have to work today?”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake…” Anna leapt to her feet and stormed into the bathroom.
Ursula made breakfast for both of them, but Anna only grabbed a slice of bread with strawberry jam on the fly and rushed out of the apartment.
As soon as Ursula was alone, fear, guilt, and worry for Tom attacked her. She didn’t dare to visit him in plain daylight, afraid people would start asking questions. He’d have to go hungry until the evening. She hoped he’d taken to picking the ripe produce from the garden last night.
She got dressed and loaded her handbag with a jar of jam, crackers, a big chunk of cheese, canned beef, cooked potatoes, and curd. Then she left to visit Pfarrer Bernau in his parish before work. With a last glance in the mirror, she put a smart dark blue hat on her blonde waves. A thin half-veil covered her eyes and matched the pattern on her dark blue jacket. Then she wrapped a woolen shawl around her shoulders. The perfect outfit to visit church. Her newfound religiosity surely wasn’t suspicious in these dire times.
“Guten Morgen Ursula, where are you headed?” Frau Weber pulled open her door the moment Ursula locked hers.
“Guten Morgen, Frau Weber. I’m going to church to offer a prayer of thanks that the burglar didn’t cause us any harm.” Ursula did her best to hide her scowl. Although she was rightfully annoyed, it was wiser to grin and bear it. Before the old witch could start a conversation, Ursula flew down the stairs and onto the street.
Crisp morning air whipped against her cheeks and she grabbed her shawl tighter. Tom must’ve been so cold last night. Those last summer days could still warm your bones, but the night temperature plummeted almost to freezing point.
She found Pfarrer Bernau near the altar, preparing his church for Mass that evening. A relieved smile crossed his face when he noticed the blonde woman coming up to him.
“Frau Hermann, it’s good to see you.” He looked around the church, empty except for an o
ld lady kneeling with her rosary in the first row. “Are you here about the memorial service for your late husband?”
Ursula needed a few moments to grasp what he’d said, but then she nodded her head. “Yes, Father.”
“Please come with me.” He led her to the sacristy and closed the heavy door behind them. “I thought something awful had befallen you.”
“It almost did.” Ursula grabbed the back of a chair to still her trembling hands.
The priest turned to scrutinize her face. “You are scared, my child. What happened?”
“Do you remember my neighbor? She called the Gestapo on us.”
The priests face paled, but he encouraged her to continue.
“Frau Weber insisted there was a man hiding in our place. They left nothing unturned and asked my sister and me thousands of questions.”
“Did you tell them anything?” the priest asked with a deep frown on his forehead.
“No.” Ursula shook her head, and her blonde waves bounced around her shoulders. “Actually, my sister flirted with one of the officers and made him believe that she was grateful that such a strong and virile man had taken to protecting her from the evils of this world. I was so scared…” She shuddered at the memory. “Without her…”
“You fared well because the Gestapo wouldn’t have let you go if they’d had the slightest suspicion that you’re not two innocent women.”
“I know. And this is what scares me. My sister is so much better at this than I am. I have never learned to pretend, conceal, or deceive…” Ursula began pacing the room.
Pfarrer Bernau shrugged. “As your priest, I probably should advise you to stay honest and tell the authorities about the Englishman. But things aren’t black and white. Right has become wrong, and wrong has become right. I myself have struggled with this notion for a long time, but in my prayers, God has led me to the conclusion that I have to answer only to my conscience and to Him.”
Ursula tilted her head, surprised that a person as much at peace with himself and the world as Pfarrer Bernau possessed the same compunctions she had.
“After the Nazis came to power, I, like so many others, lived by their rules for many years. But one day more than five years ago I decided to stop obeying their unrighteous laws. Instead, I would follow my conscience, even if that meant being dishonest and conspiratorial.
“Since then, I have been organizing ways to hide Jews or help them escape our country. It is rewarding work, but you’re right, it is very dangerous. And it is becoming harder by the day. People’s fear of and allegiance to the Nazi regime is getting stronger, as is the regime’s power to persecute and punish their opponents. Petty crimes are punished with an unprecedented cruelty to set an example and discourage others from opposing Hitler.”
A shiver crawled up her spine and set her neck hair standing on end. He didn’t need to go into details. Ursula’s work was a constant reminder of what could become of her should she be caught. She had seen the varying states of people after being tortured, the psychological torment a death penalty placed upon people, and the general cruelty they endured in the prison.
Pfarrer Bernau closed the distance between them and placed his hands on her shoulders. His brown eyes fixated upon hers. “You have proven to be brave, and you possess a good heart. But you must know that you are risking your life in our line of work, as I have many times before. Many others who have helped have been arrested and killed. I don’t say this to frighten you, but to alert you to be careful and never tell a single soul. Not even your mother when she returns home. The fewer the people who know, the safer it is for you – and for them. Do you understand?”
Ursula stared into his solemn face and nodded. Despite the gravity in his expression, she felt some small reassurance. She wasn’t alone in this.
“Thank you, Father,” she whispered and turned around to leave for work.
“Wait,” he called after her, “if you visit Captain Westlake, tell him that I have a plan in mind and he might be back home within a week.”
***
Ursula finished her shift in the evening and entered a bakery. The enticing smell of freshly baked bread filled the air. She bought a loaf of dark bread that would keep fresh for a couple of days and couldn’t resist a nut pastry for the walk. On second thought, she added another one for Tom as well.
As darkness settled, she arrived at the allotment and listened for footsteps before opening the gate, hoping nobody would hear the awful squeaking sound. But the gate swung silent as the night.
A smile brightened her face, and she carefully locked the gate behind her before walking up to the shabby shed. Her nerves tightened into a knot, and she had to set down the heavy handbag on the porch. No noise came from the inside, and she hesitated for a moment before opening the door. It swung open with unexpected ease, and as soon as she set a foot inside, she felt a gigantic weight pounce at her, like a lion after its prey. A big hand twisted her arm behind her back in a grip hard as steel, while the other hand covered her mouth, effectively preventing her from screaming.
Frozen with panic, she noticed out of the corner of her eyes when the door to the shed swung close. Complete darkness enveloped her. Her heartbeat throbbed against her ribs and indicated the seconds ticking by until she felt a warm breath against her neck and a familiar voice whispered into her ear, “I swear I’ll kill you if you scream, understood?”
The tension left her body, and Ursula managed to nod in agreement.
“Why are you here?” the voice asked, and the hand slipped from her mouth to rest on her throat.
“It’s me, Ursula. I’m here to bring you food,” she said in a low voice.
His steely grip on her arm loosened, and he turned her around to press her front against his. Then he walked her a few steps like a puppet on strings until he found the lantern and flashed it into her face.
“Good lord, Ursula. I’m terribly sorry. I thought you were...well...here to arrest me,” he said apologetically without letting her go. Instead, he squeezed her tighter and pressed his chin to the curve of her neck. “I was worried to death when you didn’t return last night. The thought that something terrible had happened to you drove me out of my mind. You can’t imagine how many times I was about to bolt and go after you.”
“I’m fine,” she answered, and he finally released her properly. She could still feel a tingle where his arms had been. It was so wrong to like the way he’d been holding her. Imprudent. Traitorous even.
Tom exchanged the lantern for the kerosene lamp and its soft light cast dancing shadows on the walls of the shed.
Chapter 17
Ursula watched how Tom hungrily wolfed down the food she’d brought.
“I’m sorry you had to go hungry, but it wasn’t safe to come out here last night,” she said.
Tom stopped eating for a moment and watched her closely, worry etched into his face. “What happened?”
“To make a long story short, our neighbor alerted the Gestapo that a man was hiding at our place.” She noticed the way he gritted his jaw and his entire body tensed at the mention of the Gestapo.
“Are you all right?” He put down his food and moved to her side of the table, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Warmth seeped into her body. With him by her side, she wasn’t afraid.
“Yes. Thanks to Anna.”
“Anna?”
“No need to worry. My sister put on a perfect show. She has that ability to make everyone believe she’s holier than the Virgin Mary. It’s something she has practiced since she was a toddler and always caught up in some kind of trouble. Anyhow, the Gestapo believed her that we were just two weak women happy for them to protect us from any kind of evil.” She scrunched her nose, and Tom had to laugh.
“Some kind of weak women you are…I’ve never met a stronger pair of sisters.”
“Wait until you meet Lotte. She’s a handful,” Ursula slapped her hand over her mouth. The Englishman and her youngest sister would never meet. In a
week’s time, he’d be back in his country, and she’d never hear from him again.
Tom’s voice grew soft. “I wish we had met under different circumstances.”
“Me too,” she said and gathered her things to leave. But leaving was harder than she’d thought. Too much did she enjoy being with him. “The gate doesn’t squeak anymore.”
“I thought I could make myself useful and oiled it.” He cast her that boyish grin that always knocked her off-kilter. “And I fixed some loose planks in the shed, refilled the kerosene lamp, cleaned the sun loungers.” He used his fingers to count the things he’d repaired.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to. And it kept me from barging out of the gate in search of you.”
“I really should go.” Ursula made an effort to stand up and grabbed her handbag.
“Yes, you should.” His voice was throaty as he walked her to the door.
The moon was hiding behind a cloud, and not even stars lit the night. Before the war, Berlin had never been truly dark. The many lights always cast a dim glow into the night sky, but since the blackout rules had been put in place, it was as bleak as the countryside where her Aunt Lydia lived.
Ursula couldn’t see her hand in front of her eyes and stumbled across a bump in the grass. She gasped in shock, but the next moment, Tom’s strong arms were wrapped around her.
“Careful,” he whispered into her ear. His face was mere inches from hers. She sensed it more than saw it, although his white skin glowed in the dark. Her brain was screaming at her to turn and run away. But she couldn’t. A magnetic force drew her closer to him, and before she knew it, his lips touched hers in a soft kiss. For a moment, she savored the tingling excitement, gave in to the wave of emotions washing over her, consuming her. Then she pulled away.
“I…should go now,” Ursula said as determinedly as she could muster.
“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have…” he answered in the same moment as the moon snuck out from behind the cloud and cast the landscape into its cold white light. Tom’s face mirrored the same confusing emotions that whirled inside Ursula.
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