by SK Benton
"I wonder what they're playing," he mused.
"Oh yeah, online communications were really big by this time. Twenty years ago everyone was getting on what was called The Internet. It was a totally big deal, access to online information, and it grew quickly - almost exponentially. Unfortunately, it also caused a lot of problems, as people started living vicariously through online worlds and what-not. Kids stopped going outside to play, couples stopped talking, and people lost communications skills. Hell, at its worst, university graduates could barely function in job interviews."
"But isn't that similar to what we do now? I mean, we simply get information on personal consoles, but it's no big deal - it's always there," said Bagatelle.
"Yeah, but here's the thing. Think about it. Centuries ago there were hardly any roads. So, if someone was going somewhere he would say I'm going to such and such place on this road. Then later, when there were roads everywhere, no one would say that, they would merely say, I'm going to such and such place. It wasn't a big deal to walk on a road anymore. It's the same for us. We are connected to an amazing data net, and hell, data net assistants are near human in sentience. And further, my kind has Socrates. So it's kinda like we don't have to say which road we're taking anymore. It's just there."
"Wow. That's deep, Max," Bagatelle said as he pulled a steaming burger up to his mouth that Draagh had just delivered to the table. Sinking his teeth into the sandwich, he relished the sensation as his canines sliced through soft buns, and then twin, cooked patties of ground beef, accompanied by two layers of cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and a mysterious special sauce. He chewed a bit, and then smiled and dug in some more. Of course he had eaten hamburgers before, being from a thoroughly modern world, but nothing like this one - it was unique. Lycans could tolerate onions, which were closely related to garlic, but vampire salubots freaked out when contacted by anything from the genus Allium, which included onions, garlic, leeks, chives and scallions. It was merely a negative chemical reaction. In any case, lycans did not enjoy the vegetable, so the burgers were ordered without onions
Draagh looked around as he hungrily devoured his burger. It truly was one of the greatest creations of the 20th century. He watched as numerous vehicles parked nearby, and people started unloading bicycles. It appeared that a large group was going to ride their mountain bikes at night. They were all wearing light-duty helmets, which Draagh thought looked extremely silly, being as they would serve absolutely no purpose or be of any protection in battle. And to make it worse, the helmets had annoyingly bright lights connected to them. But something was bothering him - something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Max started getting an odd feeling too, but put it off to the side as he conjured an infopanel in the size and shape of a tablet computer, which was extremely popular in that era.
"Hey guys, I gotta use the head. Be right back," said Bagatelle, as the sun finally disappeared over the hills to the west and the large mass of bike riders headed past the restaurant towards the mountain to their north.
Max ate a few fries, but was using a cantus to keep the food hot and fresh for their return to the castle. Sitting for a few minutes, he felt a rumbling in his stomach. It was an odd sensation that caused him to be a bit nervous, until reality dawned on both he and Draagh at the same time.
"Oh crap, Pops. It's a full moon!"
The old mage quickly enveloped the two in a camouflage field, causing a nearby couple to do a double take, being as the entire table disappeared from sight.
"I have to get Bagatelle, like now!" Max whisper-yelled.
"No, my boy. Stay with me. I'll need to give you a healthy dose of electricity when you start to change."
"No you don't. I maintained sapience last time, when I was in Hollywood. I know I can this time. We have to get G before he-"
It was too late. People ran out of the restaurant screaming, burgers and milkshakes flying all over, as Max and Draagh looked through the large picture windows just in time to see a phase 3 Luigi Bagatelle go through the wall that separated the men's lavatory from the dining room, with tile and sheetrock flying all over the place. Bagatelle jumped over the counter and started eating all of the raw hamburger he could, which was a lucky distraction for everyone else nearby.
"I'm on this," said Max, as he wantonly forced a change to his assassin form, hoping that it would keep him from going full phase 3. Jumping out from the protective camouflage, Max burst into the restaurant but was too late, as Bagatelle went through the northwest wall and straight for the bike trail that the large group had been heading for just minutes earlier.
"Pops, he's heading for the hills. I'm going after him. I'll nail him with an electrocantus when I see him and we'll slip right back," Max said to his grandfather.
Max ran, as fast as he could, and although that was faster than any human could go, it was still not as fast as a phase 3 that ran on all fours. Tearing by a coffee shop, he saw the entrance to a hiking area, smelling Bagatelle along the way. Passing a sign that said Borego Trail, he nearly crashed into numerous trees while trying to navigate the narrow, winding path.
This isn't gonna work. I have to catch him. No other choice, I guess.
Max got to a sandy clearing and tried something that he had yet to attempt. Concentrating, he shot his arms out, which were followed by an immensely wide span of black wings, but these were leathery, like a bat's, and not feathered. Looking as he flapped them back and forth a couple of times, he thought, wow, now that's cool. Max then shot up into the air and headed north, following the trail. Further up ahead, roughly a full kilometer, he saw erratically moving lights on helmets and bikes flashing all over the place, as the night riding group was working its way up the trail. Then he detected Bagatelle, but the werewolf wasn't chasing the group of bicyclists - he was off-trail, face to face with a decent-sized mountain lion, which just happened to be out for a leisurely early evening hunt. Max went to drop down onto the cat, knock it out, and then shock the crap out of Bagatelle, but he noticed something horrifying - his brother-in-law had a small girl on the ground, in between his front legs. She was screaming and crying so loud she had probably woken up the entire park. Shooting down hard and fast, he landed with a thunderous boom, five meters off to the side and blocking the big cat's only avenue of escape.
"G, can you understand me? Are you there? Talk to me!"
Max waited, hoping that by some sort of miracle there was a piece of his brother-in-law in that massive canine body. Then after twenty seconds of repeated growls back and forth, he got his miracle.
"Max. The girl. I'm… protecting her. She fell off her bike. Parents unconscious. Please help, don't know if I can hold on. Slipping away."
That was all Max needed. He shot over and lulled the cougar to sleep, and then ported it to a destination ten kilometers back into the mountains. He then turned and saw Bagatelle losing his humanity. The werewolf started to growl, seeing Max as a challenge, so Max did the only thing he could. He thought out an unspoken cantus.
Electrincantatio quassatio
Bagatelle went flying back into a tree, landing unconscious. The little girl, roughly six or seven years old, wearing a pink Hello Kitty bike helmet and white clothing covered with reflectors and protective padding, sat stunned. She had stopped crying out of sheer surprise, but then started again immediately as soon as she saw Max in his terrifying assassin form, bat-like wings stretched out wide.
"Shhhhh, gurlll. Ish ok. Where parentsh at?" he asked, in the best English he could possibly manage through his wolf-like mouth.
The little girl stopped crying and pointed over to the trail, where two adults were pulling themselves out of the bushes.
"Oh my god! There she is! Oh god, get her!"
As the little girl's father climbed out of bushes, he followed his wife's command and ran over to his daughter. He bent over and picked her up, but when he lifted his head the flashlight on his helmet shone directly on Max, who was picking up a now normal (albeit naked) Luigi Bagatelle. Qu
ickly turning his head around, Max stared at the man, and not knowing what to do merely said, "Trick or treat!", while attempting a smile despite his near-fully formed muzzle. The father waved awkwardly, and then turned around and mouthed to his wife, "Wow! You see that costume?"
Turning back around, the man saw nothing. The awesome costume and the naked man had disappeared.
"Dammit! This is the last time we go on a night ride! Do you understand me?" the mother yelled in a low whisper.
"Awww, man. I never get to ride anymore!"
Neither parent noticed as little Violet looked up at the sky, towards the north, watching an incredibly large creature soar away.
Having quickly flown to Santiago Peak, at the top of Saddleback Mountain, Max set Bagatelle down next to a wireless communications tower and prompted him to consciousness.
"G! Hey bro, wakie wakie! C'mon, man. Wake up. Pops, all is well. Got G, no one was hurt - in fact, he was protecting a little girl from a mountain lion and could think a bit."
"That is good news, my son. Join me as soon as you can."
"Got it - where are you?"
"In a beer-chugging contest."
Max figured his grandfather would do something like that, so he concentrated on his brother-in-law. Bagatelle started to wake up, and had predictable amounts of pain that Max understood, having felt an electrocantus blast before, when Liliana knocked him back to his day form the night of the Battle of the Blood.
"Wow, what hit me?"
"Me. It's easier for me to communicate via the comm. I had to shock you. Do you remember protecting the little girl?"
"Yeah, pretty much. It was like I was fading in and out, but what about you? You're in assassin form. Can you go back to phase 1, or will you go to full death mode and become an eating machine?"
"I don't know. Only one way to find out, but here, take this."
Max jumped up onto a concrete slab, punched his clawed hand through a thin metal wall, reached inside and pulled an electrical line out of the cell tower shelter, and carefully handed the insulated cable to Bagatelle so he wouldn't be shocked by the exposed live wires.
"If I go crazy, shock me and wait for me to wake up," said Max.
Max grimaced as much as a man with a wolf-like face could, and then concentrated, feeling his musculature act as if it were confused - it wanted to go in both directions, phase 3 and phase 1. But in the end it was a battle of mental willpower over the corporeal, and Max's mind won, successfully reverting back to his day form, right under a bright, shining full moon. Still wearing his street, clothes, which were a bit torn up, he did some quick repairs and conjured a similar outfit for Bagatelle.
"Ok, let's go to Pops. He's waiting for us," said Max.
"Where's he at?"
"A bar in a private zoo. Rancho Las Lomas."
Max slipped his brother-in-law over to where Draagh was located. The two future-lycans stepped out from behind an enclosure containing a Bengal tiger, which made the animal go completely nuts. Other nearby animals also started acting up, so Max threw a cantus to sedate the poor creatures. The two then entered into a small barn-like bar full of bikers and cowboys. There were numerous people dancing in the small establishment, with a live band playing what was called country music, on a small stage. Looking around, it was easy to spot Draagh, who was in the middle of a beer-drinking contest at the bar. He easily outsized most of the men in the establishment, which was probably why everyone was being so friendly to him. The two walked up to him, and he smiled as he slammed his empty beer mug down.
"My sons! It is good to see you were successful! You have defeated the full moon! Please, have a beer with me! It is quite refreshing!"
"Draagh, where are the burgers?" asked Max.
"Oh, quite safe, on my table in the Hub."
"Ok, let's go. I want to see my wife now. I'm tired."
Draagh sighed, pushed beer mugs to his grandson and Bagatelle, and then turned to go out the small door leading to the front of the bar.
"Draagh, hang on. This does look good," said Max as he pushed one of the beers over to his cuñado. The immortal Primulus grew a large smile and returned, where the three thrust up their large, frosty mugs and pounded down what ended up being a really tasty local brew. They then headed for the door after finishing their beers.
Outside there were dozens of personal conveyances called motorcycles. Each had two wheels, and an inefficient internal combustion propulsion unit, dangerously placed below the fuel source, which happened to be a small, metal tank that was filled with a refined, combustible form of petroleum. To Max and Bagatelle the vehicles looked like rolling bombs. To Draagh they looked like a lot of fun.
"I shall have to revisit this place one day soon, but first things first, my boys. Let us go home. We have a hungry family awaiting the delicacies we have acquired."
Chapter 34 - Melt
Max's extended family sat around, digging hungrily into their burgers and fries, as Liliana lightly nibbled on some potatoes that weren't covered in cheese and gravy, watching everyone as if she were studying them.
"Lili, sweetie, what's wrong?" asked her mother.
"Nothing, Mami. I was just wondering why Grandfather was dressed like a 20th century purveyor of prostitutes."
"Lili, he didn't do it on purpose. He just searched 50 years too early for fashion trends. It's easy to do when you're millions of years old," said Max, as he finished his second burger.
"Yes, that much is true, my dear. But did you not find my purple hat with the very large feather to be fashionable? I believe I should show it to Krynos. I am certain he would appreciate the style."
"NO!" everyone cried out in unison, but their concerns turned to laughter when they saw the old mage snickering under his breath.
At that very moment, none other than Krynos walked into the dining hall, sniffing the air and smelling the new, yet delicious scents.
"My friends and family! What is it we have here?" asked the king, as Draagh nonchalantly waved his hand over the burgers, doubling them in quantity; basically cloning them.
"In-N-Out burgers - Double-Doubles, from an Old-Earth food establishment, sir. Would you like to try one? Max, Draagh and G brought them back from the past," said Jennie, as she delicately consumed on a fried potato.
"Hmm, I usually do not eat the red fruit," he responded, seeing fat, juicy tomatoes in the burgers," but I believe I shall try one."
Picking up a burger, which was dwarfed by his enormous hand, he eyed it appraisingly, and then closing his eyes, he took a bite. Everyone watched with great curiosity, as Krynos was known to eat only the most basic of foods, and even then usually close to raw.
"Hm. Hmmm. Ermm," he hummed with a full mouth. "This is… this is most excellent!" exclaimed the king, as he grew a wide smile. "We should have these hand foods at least once every fortnight!"
"Please, my king try these - they are potatoes, but prepared in a manner unfamiliar in our region," pleaded Liliana, as she held up a small box of fried potatoes.
Taking some, he looked at them finding them to be curiously small, so he stuffed them into his burger and took another bite.
"It shall be tradition, Commander Gunnarson, and I wish for you to lead a raid on this land and bring these experts to my castle where we shall-"
"Um, sir," interrupted Max, "we can't go and kidnap poor fry cooks. They're just kids."
"But, why not? They should be honored that they could ply their wares within the castle walls. Look, I shall allow them to be turned. Lycan culinarians of the hand-held… what are these called? The doubling?"
"Double-Double, but that's not the point, my liege. These are children from the distant past. In fact, they are living in an excellent era. It was roughly a decade before global society started to feel the effects of poor governance, which was a precursor to the formation of the Exodus barge fleet," advised Bagatelle.
Krynos, my brother. I believe I have a solution," Draagh said, as he attempted to salvage the situati
on.
"And what would that be, old friend?"
"We can teach the current staff to prepare these burgers. In fact, I believe this would be an excellent opportunity for Max to practice his knowledge transferal skills."
"Oh yeah! I did that once already!" exclaimed Max.
"You did? How did you do that, Max?" asked Jessica, who was fortunate enough to be sampling burgers along with the group.
"Um, your… friend… Marko. I taught him bartending in seconds."
"Oh, I see…" Jessica stammered.
Max knew he was going to have to speak with the two eventually. Jessica believed Marko had given their son over to the Vrol, but the lycan male insisted that the child was dying, and he had adhered to some moral code and had comforted the child until it expired. In any case, he put it to the back of his mind and enjoyed another burger.
###
The following morning, Max woke up with the sun penetrating his east-facing window. Jennie was wrapped up all over him like spaghetti, and Liliana was sprawled out on her back at the far end of their massive bed, her head hanging over the edge, which exacerbated her snoring. They had all passed out from what was colloquially referred to as a food coma.
Unwrapping his wife and pulling her close into his arms, she woke up slowly and murmured a bit. He loved just looking at her, and was truly regretful that she had suffered for six months, while he only waited a few days before they were reunited.
She's more beautiful when she awakes than most are in a lifetime, he thought, paraphrasing an old song. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Jennie mumbled that she needed to get up and start her day.
"Shhh, just stay here for a minute, love. We aren't used to eating that kind of food."
"Yeah baby, let's try to steer Krynos away from opening a fast food place in the castle," she whispered.
