“It can be totally normal. I had light bleeding with Keon and the kid got here with no other problems. In fact, I spotted through the whole entire nine months. It can be terrifying, but just wait. This is only the beginning. There’s a ton of other terrifying shit that can happen. Did I tell you about what happened when I was still pregnant with—”
“Megan!” Chase exclaims. He waits for her attention before he says, “Not the time.”
“Probably should save those stories for after I give birth. I kind of scare easily.” I gaze up at the brave man at my side. “Or, I did.”
He smiles, just a little, and the way he gazes back down at me could melt an iceberg of fear.
Megan notices our mooning, but she doesn’t address it outright. “Sure, sure. Wasn’t thinking. But! I brought you a present. I was saving this for your baby shower, but it seems like a good time to give it to you now. It just came yesterday. I had to special order it.”
She digs through her purse and pulls out a baby onesie and holds it up so we can both read it. I know a lot but my aunt knows everything.
“Uh…aunt?” I’m not sure if that’s what she’s coined herself or if Chase has already told her.
“Yeah, Livia. Aunt.” She points at me. “Because I know you pretty well.” Then she points at Chase. “And I sure as hell know him. And there’s no way this baby isn’t his. He’s been moony-eyed and dazed since the minute he brought the kids to the library, out of the blue, on a weeknight to hunt down the cutie he’d met on a call. So, yes. I’m an aunt. And I know everything. Admit it.”
“I’ll admit you’re kind of a bitch,” Chase says, seemingly as irritated as I am that she’s figured out our secret.
“Well, you don’t know everything,” I scowl. “And you’re going to have to get a second one.”
Megan’s eyes dart from mine to her brother’s. “I’m not following.”
I nod to Chase. He should be the one to tell her. She’s his sister and these are his babies.
He lights up when he says it. “We’re having twins.”
It sounds so good to hear him say we. Like it’s natural. Like there couldn’t be any other way, and there couldn’t be. He was always meant to be their dad. From the very beginning, I picked him partly because he was so amazing with Josiah and Keon and even Ryan, and no matter how many times I told myself it was because I simply wanted those good genes in my child, the truth is, part of me always imagined him like that with our kid. Snuggling our kid against his chest, pulling our kid in a wagon, taking our kid to the library. Helping our kid with homework.
Now I just have to expand the fantasy to include two kids.
And me. If he’ll still have me.
We spend the next several minutes talking about the babies and their health and what I’m supposed to do over the next few weeks, which mostly ends up being Megan telling us what she thinks I should do based on her own experiences with her pregnancies. Finally Chase suggests that we should leave the medical advice to the doctors, and she gets huffy and says she should go and check on Pop then since no one else is looking after him at the moment and at least there her advice is wanted.
“Tolerated,” Chase corrects.
Her eyes narrow, but before she can explode, I bring her in for another hug. “I want your advice, Megan. All of it. Not today, maybe, but I’m coming to you for everything.”
“I’m glad you were into my brother,” she says when she pulls away, her eyes glossy. “Or rather, I’m glad you let my brother be into you.”
“Alrighty then!” Chase pushes her not so gently toward the doors. “See ya later, sis.”
“I’m glad too,” I call after her. “Thank you for coming to the hospital. And for the onesie!”
“Yes. Thank you, Megan,” my hot cop shouts before turning to me.
Then we’re alone.
Well, not exactly alone, because there’s all sorts of people buzzing around us—
other patients and nurses and doctors and a security guard and these two little peanuts wrapped snugly in my womb with heartbeats so strong I got to hear them with my own ears.
But it’s alone enough to feel the weight of all the unsaid things we carried into the hospital with us this morning. Silently, we stare at each other, with these boulders of unspoken words on our backs, and it doesn’t feel awkward, but it feels heavy. Like we’re both carrying such a tremendous load, and both of us are so sure that there has to be a way to make it lighter. If we can just find a way to carry it together.
I’m the one who speaks first, since I think it’s my turn. I throw the ball right back at him though because I’m braver than I was, but not that brave. Yet. I still need him to guide me. Still need him to help me be strong. “So what now?”
Obviously he’s going to give the ticket to the valet and they’ll bring his car around and that’s what’s now.
But that’s not what I’m asking, and I think he knows it, because he doesn’t answer right away. He puts his hands in his pockets and rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Well,” he says, stalling. “I think you get to choose your own adventure.”
“Um. Okay?” I tilt my head, imploring him to go on.
“When I was a kid, I loved those books. You know, the ones where you read a few pages and then at the bottom it says, ‘If you want to rescue the princess, go to page 74; if you want to stay and fight the boss, go to page 58’?”
“Yes,” I say smugly. “I know those books.”
“Right. You know books.” He chuckles. “Anyway. Right now, you get to choose your own adventure. You can either have me drive you back to your home, and you can do this all on your own. Raise two kids with as much or as little help from me as you want. I can be there for them if you let me. None of your choosing has to be about them.”
“Or.” He takes a nervous step toward me. “You can let me drive you to my house so we can tell Pop together that he’s going to have to stop being stubborn and take my bedroom. And then I can move my girl and my babies in with me where they belong. There’s a master and two bedrooms upstairs, Liv. It’s perfect for all of us.”
My breath catches and there’s a ball in my throat the size of my heart. I have so much to say and don’t know where to start, and I’m not even sure I can speak coherently, but I try anyway.
“The thing I wanted to tell you earlier, at my condo…” I swallow, trying to find my voice because what’s coming out sounds small and shaky, not like mine at all. “I thought I needed to be as far away from you as possible. I couldn’t be around you and not want you. So I called a realtor last night to put my place up for sale. I was going to move.”
They have to be hard words to hear, but his gaze remains steady and hopeful. “And now?”
“I guess I’ll still need the realtor. If I’m moving in with you and all.”
My eyes are wet and cloudy, but I can still see Chase perfectly when, in front of everyone in the ER waiting room, he falls to his knees in front of me. Well, one knee.
“What are you doing? Get up!” But my heart is racing and I’m really crying now and there’s no way I actually want him to get up because he’s digging into his pocket and pulling out a diamond solitaire ring.
“Liv, marry me. Raise our babies with me. Grow old with me and watch bad movies with me and talk dead poets with me and go shopping with me and watch the KU games with me. Let me love you and make love to you and hold you when you’re scared.” He grabs my hand and clutches onto it. “Hold me when I’m scared. Be afraid with me.”
I wipe tears off my face with my free hand, but it’s useless. New ones replace the ones I’ve removed. “You’re really ready to trade in the Kelly trio for a Ward trio?” I glance down at my belly in case he doesn’t understand what the Ward trio refers to—
or who, rather.
“How do you know about the Kelly—” He realizes where I must have heard it. “Megan,” he mutters, like a curse under his breath. “And yes, I’d trade anything for the Ward trio. Everythin
g.”
“Actually, I think we could keep the Kelly trio.” I step in closer so I can bend and whisper at his ear. “As long as I’m the one that gets the dinner, drinks, and handcuffs.”
“Only you, kitten.” He lets go of my hand and wraps his arms around me.
I run my fingers through his hair. “And I’ll tear up that stupid contract.”
His eyes twinkle gently. “Oh Liv. That contract was never real anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re a fantastic librarian, but you’d make a terrible lawyer.”
“But you signed it anyway?”
“I was going to honor your wishes no matter what I did or didn’t sign, so it didn’t matter to me and it seemed important to you,” he says. His eyes twinkle more. “Also, I really, really wanted to sleep with you.”
I pout—I put a lot of time into that contract—but he kisses me so I can’t hold it for long. When he lets me breathe again, he meets my eyes. “So...is all that a yes?”
I’m nodding when I answer. “I choose you, Chase. I choose the adventure. I’m tired of being scared and alone and safe. I’ve been so afraid of dying, I’ve forgotten to live. I want to be alive and green with you. I love you so much.”
Then he’s kissing me again, and he’s so happy he stands up and takes me with him. My feet dangle off the ground while he kisses me and kisses me, but then we have to stop kissing because we’ve drawn a crowd and no one knows yet what I’ve answered until Chase sets me down and shouts, “She said ‘yes’!”
Our onlookers clap and cheer. A few know Chase personally and they call out specific congratulations, but it all fades into background noise as he takes my hand and slides the ring onto my finger.
“I love you, Livvy-kitten,” he says, his gaze hot on my face as I stare at my new beautiful diamond. “And I love you.” He bends to kiss my belly. Then he kisses it again. “And I love you.”
His eyes return to mine. “I can’t promise I know the future, but I can promise I’ll do everything I can to protect and keep you safe. All of you.”
“All of us. You too. Don’t do any stupid cop things, okay?” I know that’s his job and it’s important to him, but I want him to know that his life is important to me.
“No stupid cop things. Only regular cop things.” He runs his knuckles reassuringly down the side of my neck. “I’m a safe cop, Liv. The people I’m supposed to help come first, but after them, I’ll do everything I can to make sure I come home to you.”
“I know you will.” I don’t know what will happen in the future either, and it’s still scary, but I trust him. And I love him. And that’s worth being afraid for. Our little family is worth being afraid for.
I gaze down at my ring again and suddenly can’t wait to show the rest of our family. Megan and Pop, at least, are waiting back at his house. “Let’s go home now, okay?”
“‘Home,’” he says, closing his eyes as he drags out the “mm.” “That sounds good when you say it.”
It sounds good when he says it too. Like we’ve chosen it together. Like we’re both turning to the same page in our very own Choose Your Own Adventure.
And I already know it’s going to be the best story I’ve ever lived.
Epilogue
Chase
One Year Later
“Fuck, that’s nice,” I grunt, sliding my cock into Livia’s waiting mouth. “Suck it good, baby.”
My wife obeys with an eagerness that makes my balls tight, closing her lips around me and pulling me deep. I push in until I feel her throat, savor the slick and soft heat of it, and then pull back out to admire my kitten. I’ve got her handcuffed to the bed, flat on her back with her handcuffed wrists secured to the headboard and her ankles tied to the edges of the footboard, spreading her so she’s nice and open for me. Her tits, ripe and full, jut up towards the ceiling, and her hips squirm as her cunt aches with empty agony. I’ve given her an orgasm with my tongue and then another one with a wand vibrator tonight, intentionally starving her of my fingers and my cock for this exact purpose. To make her insane with need.
“Chase,” she breathes, blinking up at me and still squirming. “Please.”
“You want to be fucked, sweetheart?”
She groans in response, throwing her head back, which only serves to push her tits up higher. Now it’s my turn to groan, and I run a finger from one peaked nipple down to a quivering thigh. The moment my fingertip brushes the sensitive crease between her thigh and her cunt, she cries out.
“Yeah, you need it bad,” I say in a low voice. I give her inner thigh a smart smack and then move myself in between her legs. “All tied up and begging for it.”
She tries to lift her hips to get closer to my cock, which is hanging like a heavy pipe as I lean over her, the head swollen and slick with pre-cum. “Don’t tease me,” she says in a moan, “Chase, fuck me with it, please, please, please.”
The truth is that I’m the one who’s really needing it bad. It’s been pure torture tonight to pleasure her without coming myself. But that’s okay because I’m here now, my crown kissing the wet heat of her pussy, and I’m going to hold her hips down and fuck her until we break the bed.
With a few small adjustments, I’m thrusting into her pussy, and I’m about to black out it feels so good. “Fuck,” I gasp. “Your cunt is so fucking tight.”
Livia’s smile is half pride, half mischief. She angles her hips up, and I go so deep I hear angels sing.
“Harder,” she breathes with a big, happy smile. “Go harder.”
I do, fucking into her like an animal, hard and fast and deep, feeling my balls draw up tight as her belly starts to flush and her thighs start to clench—
A loud, angry wail crackles through the baby monitor on the end table. We both freeze, sweaty and high with sex hormones.
Another angry wail, now joined by a sleepier, more confused cry. Underneath me, a small drop of milk runs down the side of Livia’s breast. I glance down at us, my cock still throbbing and hungry, her cunt stretched wide around it, her all mussed and sweaty and tied up with her tits now leaking milk for our babies.
And I laugh. My balls ache, yes, but we’re ridiculous and sweaty and milky and hornier than teenagers because between two needy twins—and a grandfather who’s only just moved into a senior living apartment in the last week—real, unfettered fucking has been hard to come by. Most nights we’re lucky if we can sneak in a quickie in the shower. But tonight, by some miracle, the twins had fallen asleep early and we thought maybe we could make up for some lost time…
Rookie mistake.
But I wouldn’t trade this life for anything, not the crying or the cock-blocking babies or the days so busy and packed with laundry and spit-up and washing breast pumps and bottles that Liv and I barely have time to climb under the covers before we’re asleep. It’s all so fucking precious to me.
So it’s with a smile that I lean down and lick the drop of milk off Liv’s breast. She shivers. “Tell me we’ll finish this,” she says, looking up at me with needy eyes.
“We’ll finish this,” I promise in a husky voice, giving her tit one last lick. “Do you want me to uncuff you first?”
She sighs and shakes her head. “Angie’s too hungry to wait. Put her in bed with me so she can start eating while you get me untied.”
We both groan as I slide out of her, and then I go find a pair of pajama pants. “Be right back, babe.”
Angie’s worked herself up to a five-alarm fire by the time I walk into the nursery. She’s just gotten the knack of sitting up on her own, and right now she’s sitting in the middle of crib, chubby fists clenched in fury, screaming. I flick on a light and heft the chunk up into my arms, where her screaming abates—a little. She knows I’m transportation to Mommy and therefore extends me the grace of lowering her bellows the tiniest bit.
I can’t resist giving her a little squeeze—she’s like a stuffed sausage in her footie pajamas—and giving the blonde curls on
her head a big kiss. Then with the ease born of lots and lots and lots (did I mention lots?) of practice, I carry her over to the other crib and scoop Dylan out with one hand, so that I’ve got both babies tucked into my elbows.
Dark-haired Dylan Emmett—named after my father and Pop—snuggles in tight to my chest and makes a sleepy fuss of protest at his sister’s continued wailing. And Angela Marie—named after my mother and my gran—shoves a chunky fist into her mouth and starts noisily sucking on it, alternating her screams with fist-sucks, as if to say, see? See what you’ve reduced me to by starving me so cruelly?
I croon to her wordlessly as I hitch Dylan up a little higher and we go to find Mommy. Once Angie sees her, she starts kicking frantically in my arms, reaching for Livia like Livia is the only thing in the world that matters. And hey, I know the feeling—
aside from these two squishes, Livia is my entire world too.
I set Dylan down in a bouncy chair, turn the vibrations and songs on with the edge of my foot against the switch, and then set Angie on the bed facing Livia, who’s got enough give in her restraints that she can mostly lie on her side.
Angie’s screams turn into angry grunts as she roots for Liv’s nipple and latches on. A pudgy hand comes up and starts flexing possessively over Livia’s breast, and Angie looks up at me with narrowed eyes as she starts nursing in earnest, as if I’m to blame for the delay in her getting fed.
Which I kind of am.
“Sorry, girly,” I tell her as I start uncuffing Liv. “Daddy really needed to fuck Mommy.”
“Chase,” Liv scolds, but she’s smiling. I rub her wrists where the cuffs have turned them red and then move to her ankles. Soon, I’ve got her completely free and covered up with a soft blanket, Angie tucked into her arms and still nursing with the occasional grunt.
Now I rescue Dylan from his bouncy chair. He’s wide awake now but totally calm, and he stares at me with deep blue eyes as I change his diaper and then sit with him in the glider, cuddling him close. He’s just as squishy as his sister but less demanding, happy to wait his turn in my arms.
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