“A job?” He seemed intrigued by this. He leaned towards me. “You want me to beat up Blake for you?—you don’t even have to pay me for that.”
“No. You already beat up Blake,” I reminded him. “—this morning.”
“No, that was nothing. I’ll do more. I’d be glad to do more.”
“Well, actually, I’d like to hurt him a different way.”
Shane once again looked highly intrigued. His lips parting slightly, he silently waited for me to go on.
I bit my lip, nervous now. And torn. “But I guess it wouldn’t be a good idea.”
He raised his eyebrows, still looking intrigued. “Try me.”
I swallowed down the lump in my throat and tried to keep my voice from hitching. “You really love Faith?”
He looks quizzical, but he slowly nods.
My heart sinks. Again. I choke out, “So getting involved with you would not be smart?”
He smiles weakly. “You’re thinking about getting involved with me? No, that wouldn’t be smart.”
My heart plummets. “Right.”
Without another word (because I can’t manage any) I quickly walk away from him.
Before I even reach my house I get a text from him. “I said it wouldn’t be smart. I didn’t say I didn’t want you to do it.”
I didn’t text him back. I knew all along it was a bad idea. Duh. I’d just, you know, longed to do it. And using the excuse of revenge on Blake seemed like the perfect excuse, one even Shane would go for—even though, you know, he thought of me as a “witchy woman.” Still, I’d get to kiss him, and have him hold me like in my dreams—even if it was all just fake (on his part). Still, he could just think it was fake on my part too. At least I could feel what it was like. Experience my fantasies. Plus, as a bonus, all the while I’d get the added joy of getting to rub Blake’s manipulative face in the fact I was getting steamy with his enemy. It all seemed absolutely dreamy.
… except for the reality of it all.
You know, that he loves Faith.
And that he thinks I’m a “witchy woman.”
And that I’ll get terribly hurt.
These are the reasons I don’t text him back—because it would all lead to my heartbreak.
Also, face it: It would be awkward as can be to live next door to a boy I kissed only out of revenge on his part. Then I’d have to face him every day after that, knowing what it was really, truly like to be held by him, and kissed tenderly by him.
I was already pining over the dude, and dreaming about him. My heart couldn’t take finding out what it was missing. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it would be all kinds of fun to find out. But I know me. My heart would be shattered by the aftermath. And, you know—reality.
Shane knocked at my door only a moment after I got his text.
My heart exploded from his mere knock, so opening the door and seeing his bewildered face—holy smokes! Fireworks!
With a slightly tilted head, he asked incredulously, “You wanted to get involved with me?”
I clutched the counter for support. Breathe, Bethany! I quickly gushed out, “No! I was just thinking, if you acted like you liked me—”
His brow shot up. “Acted like it?”
With a grin he said dryly, “Yeah, that would be really hard.”
“I mean, like kissed me and stared at me and stuff.”
He smiled weakly. “Stare at you? Like you have to twist my arm for that.”
I guess he was talking about detention—where he’d stared my face off (and heart out).
He was being all flirty and making me feel tingly. (The boy confuses me!) I stammered out, “No. I mean really liked me, and I would act like I liked you back—that would hurt Blake. Like, a lot.”
Shane grinned. “I’m sure it would.”
“But,” I pointed out (reluctantly), “It would also hurt your chances with Faith.”
Shane chuckled, seeming so amused. “Believe me, it wouldn’t hurt my chances with Faith. It would have zero impact on me getting tight and heavy with Faith—I guarantee it, Cheerleader.”
“It would, Shane! You really, truly don’t get girls—nice ones, I mean.” After a moment of deliberation I mused, “But who knows, maybe it would help you with her.”
Curious-like, he tilted his head.
“If she saw you with an actual nice girl—and you were nice to the nice girl, and you didn’t cheat on her—er, me—then maybe she’d see you different.”
He scrunched up his brow.
“As dating material,” I explained.
He choked another laugh. “Cheerleader, Faith will never, ever see me as dating material. I promise you that, sincerely Cheerleader. But whatever you need to tell yourself to let me cuddle my face into the curve of your pretty neck, go for it. Knock yourself out.”
Yowza! I went up in flames. ‘Cause thinking about his face in my neck?—holy smokes! I was on fire.
I gripped the counter for support again, and quickly gushed out (sadly), “No, I’m not going to talk myself into it. Or you into it—though it really might have helped you get Faith to be your girlfriend. But still, it was a really dumb idea.”
“I agree.”
He grins, “But I’m totally willing to do it anyway.”
I sigh. “No, forget it. It’s just—it’s more about something else, really. I’m in a bind.”
His eyes wash over me, kind of caress me like. “Want me to help?”
A jet of warmth washes through my heart. “No, that’s really sweet, actually. But no. See, Blake was my lead in my play.”
Shane quirks an eyebrow.
I quickly explain, “I put together a play for my senior project. He was my lead and going to sing a solo.”
I visibly see Shane back away from that information, quick as lightning. “Oh,” he says. He rubs the back of his neck, seeming to want to dash for the door. “Yeah, sorry. Can’t help with that.”
“Right. I know. No one can. Unfortunately.”
Shane nudges me. “I’m still willing to make-out with you though.”
“Yeah, thanks. But no. I’m good, thanks.”
He grins. “Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
“Yeah, I have the map right here,” I tap on my head. “It’s also where I store all my reasons not to make-out with you. The list is very long, by the way.”
His eyes twinkle. “I’m sure it is. However, I will say on my behalf, I’m a very practiced kisser—and I promise not to drink anything questionable—not before it, or after it, in case you’re wondering.”
I grimace. “Although that’s reassuring to hear—still, I’m gonna pass. And go upstairs now. ‘Bye.”
I say the ending part really quick, then scamper away, since I don’t want him to know how very, very tempted I am to take him up on his offer.
Instead, I leave him with my dad who just came into the house with his gigantic pumpkin.
I’ll let him deal with my dad’s obsession instead of mine—since mine involves getting my heart broken.
I mean, the dude thinks I’m a witch.
And he’s in love with a beautiful girl named Faith.
And he went to a party this weekend with the girl he drank drain cleaner over.
I just don’t think the prospects look very good for me.
… or him, for that matter.
Sigh.
CHAPTER 34
My friend Ally called me almost immediately after Shane left my house. (After he helped my dad make a pumpkin pie—ha!) (I snuck a few pictures!) Annnnyyyyway, Ally called me trying to coax me out of my house since she saw Blake’s lovely scene this morning—him mackin’ a beautiful girl right in front of my locker.
“Forget about the loser,” Ally said. “One of Griffin’s hockey teammates is in a band. Griffin’s going to be bouncer at the place their band is playing tonight. Come with me so I don’t have to sit alone—please, please!”
Griffin is Ally’s boyfriend. He�
�s tough and known as “The Grief-Master” on the hockey ice. But he’s a sweet little puppy-dog for Ally. He totally loves Ally. And so do I. Everybody does.
I sigh. “Sure, I’ll come.”
“Awesome!” I can hear the smile in her sweet voice. She’s a good friend.
And a good distraction.
I definitely need one because I now have pictures of the boy of my dreams making a pie—with my dad.
(And the dude said he doesn’t bake. Ha!)
Remington, Remington, Remington!!!!
Yes, I need a distraction.
And a cold shower.
CHAPTER 35
“Which teammate of Griffin’s is in the band?” I asked Ally when we got to the packed warehouse where the bands would be performing.
Apparently five different bands are going to be playing tonight. I’m kind of excited. A lot of kids from school are here. It’s way better than moping around the house staring at the sweet pie-baking boy’s picture—you know, since he’s in “love” with Faith. He even used that word! What kind of teenage bad-boy hoodlum admits to loving a girl? That stuff only happens in books. (Remington!!!)
I nudged Ally, since she seemed to be ignoring my question. “Which teammate of Griffin’s is in the band?” I asked again.
“Oh, um, I’m not sure.” Her face turned kind of red and she was being curiously evasive. She went on quickly, “All I can say for sure is that they changed their band name. I don’t know what it used to be, but when their lead singer quit, they changed their name to “Booked Hero.” Only, now their old singer is back tonight—so I’m not sure what’s going on.” She smiled, “I’m really just here to support Griffin.” She gave him a flirty wave from across the building as he guarded the door. She sighed dreamily, ridiculously in love with her tough handsome boyfriend, then she turned back to me with a smile, “—and to support you, Bethany.” She nudged me, “—and get you out of your house and moping pajamas.”
“Right. Thanks.”
I guess her real answer was: Does it matter? You’re out of the house and not obsessing over your bully ex-boyfriend.
Good call, I suppose.
The bands were all pretty good. When the star band “Booked Hero” was announced the crowd went wild. Apparently they’re popular.
The band came on stage and my eyes about exploded from opening so gigantically wide. The lead guitarist of the band was—oh my gosh!! Pie-boy—Remington Drake. Aka: Shane Shade.
Ally whispered to me with a guilty (huge) smile, “Sorry! Griffin told me not to tell you it was The Shade you’ve come to support.” She nudged me. “He’s playing matchmaker.”
Just like he did that day in detention!
Griffin is … interesting.
My exploded. People were trying to set me up with Shane?
… But of course they didn’t know about Faith. She didn’t seem to want to associate with Shane, so he was probably keeping it a secret from his friends that he loved her.
Whimper!
But then—oh my gosh!! The lead singer comes out and I about start bawling for real. Because it’s Trisha.
Trisha!!
No!!!
No, no, no!!!
She seems to be back in Shane’s life. I know I should be happy for him—well, I guess I should. Since Faith is at the moment giving him total shade (pun!). But Trisha was a very bad thing in Shane’s life. I don’t want them back together! I don’t want him anywhere near her.
I feel a dark cloud hover over me just seeing them together up on the stage. But when it’s time for Trisha to sing—she doesn’t. I mean, she dances in front of the mic all hot and sexy, but then—then instead of singing words, she—
… starts crying.
She sobs and runs off the stage. What the—?? The band seems to be wondering that too. They keep playing their song, each of them looking uneasy at the abandoned mic now standing alone in the center of the stage, like: now what?
Apparently this has them stumped—no singer.
It’s a little awkward.
My heart twists for them.
After a moment of this—no singer for their awesome song—Shane (still playing his guitar) reluctantly plods over to the mic. Playing his guitar like a boss, he stands in front of the mic and sings seductively (!) as he continues jamming on his guitar.
Ohhhh my heart!
His voice is low and gravely and—Dead Sexy.
Holy smokes! Remington Drake can sing!!!
CHAPTER 36
I sit in stunned awe. Shane can sing!
I’m enraptured—on fire—listening to the boy of my dreams sing more sexy than I can comfortably bear. I’m telling you, I need a bucket of ice water thrown on me. And another cold shower. A freezing one.
Swooooon!!
I’m in total heaven.
In insta-love.
… if I wasn’t already in it before, that is. I mean, the dude had baked a pie with my forlorn dad, and gobbled down my sister’s bitter lemonade like she was Fickin’ Miss Cocktail.
But this—my bad-boy book-hero—up on stage—oh man! My heart can’t take it.
My pulse pounding like I’m going to have a freakin’ aneurism, I reluctantly (though necessarily) drag my eyes away from my seductive heartthrob for a moment. I have to, or I’m going to explode. I quickly text Trisha: “Are you okay?”
After a long moment she texts back: “Yeah. But how embarrassing!!! It’s just—right before we went on stage I told Shane I wanted to get back together with him. But he told me he loves another girl. I lost it…. And lost him, apparently.”
Yeah. She lost him to Faith.
I hope she (Faith) does better things for him than Trisha did, that’s for sure.
Although I’m still kind of worried for Shane (since, face it, Faith hadn’t exactly been nice to him today) still, even with that worry gnawing at me, I can’t help going back to adoring him on the stage.
Mmmmm.
Yowza!!!
CHAPTER 37
It’s late, but I can’t sleep. I’m sitting on my front porch, looking up at the stars, trying to calm my heart. But then it slams against my chest, because Shane pulls into his driveway. Wow, he’s just now getting home from his mind-blowing gig.
He freezes for a moment when he sees me; but hey, my heart explodes seeing him, so we’re kind of even, maybe.
Though my reaction is because I’m in Gaga-ville over his performance. I don’t know what his reaction is from—maybe seeing the “Witchy Woman” unexpectedly? I don’t know. Couldn’t tell ya.
His shoulders rise and fall, then (very) reluctantly (it seems) he slowly wanders over to me. “What are you doing up so late?” he asks softly.
“Thinking about my play,” I tell him pointedly. “Or more precisely—who I might ask to be my new lead—and sing the solo.”
He takes a tiny step away from me—and the conversation—quite visibly, I might add. He murmurs, “Good luck with that.”
I sigh. “Look, I know you don’t owe me any favors and you kind of despise me, but—”
“Wait—what?”
Shane’s eyebrows shoot up. “I despise you?”
“Yeah, with that song you’re always blasting at me. I get it, you think I’m a total witch—”
He laughs, “You don’t get it. Not at all. Have you ever listened to the words? The guy feels under a spell.” He raises his eyebrows, “You put me under a spell—witchy woman.”
“Oh.”
Fireworks are shooting through me, so that’s all I can say for a moment: “Oh.”
He grins at this. “So no, I don’t despise you,” he says. “Quite the opposite, actually.”
“Oh,” I say again.
He smirks, his eyes twinkling. “You’re quite the chatterbox tonight.”
My heart slamming against my chest, I bite my lip, not sure if he’s teasing me with this astonishing song information. Sadly, I figure he must be—since, (let’s not forget) he loves Faith and everything. And th
e way I saw him with her today, all careful and protective of her, if he’s under any girl’s spell, it’s hers.
Still, while I have him in this conversation—you know, with him trying to convince me that he doesn’t despise me, and that he has some sort of nice feelings towards me, I use it for my advantage.
“Shane, I need you.”
A little moan escapes his lips. “You know I melt hearing you say that right?”
“Then help me.”
He does another little moan, “Cheerleader, I can’t. I’d give you a lung if you asked so nicely as you are, but I can’t do what you’re asking.”
“Please, please, please?”
He squeezes his eyes shut, rubbing the back of his neck. Finally mutters softly, “Give me some time to think about it.”
CHAPTER 38
***SHANE***
SHANE
I’ve had a crush on the cute cheerleader forever. Literally. (Almost.) I’ve had a seriously demented thing for her ever since middle school when she sobbed so sweetly over my poem.
But she immediately got together with wad Blake, and acted like I didn’t exist, so I thought she really felt that way: like I didn’t exist.
It was like a stab in my heart.
Then, after my … okay, I’ll admit, deranged episode with Trisha, I was pretty sure the cheerleader was leaving me … stuff. Cute stuff. I couldn’t be sure it was her, and I thought maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. But one time right before a gift was left for me at my surprisingly nice stay at Sunny Brooke Mental Hospital, I saw the back of a blond ponytail duck around a far off corner. I was pretty sure the ponytail belonged to the cheerleader. But hey, I was in a mental hospital.
For all I knew, the drugs they were giving me had me dreaming up happy delusions.
However, the gifts continued after my stay in the hospital.
I knew they couldn’t be from Trisha. The cold, insensitive chick left me cold—to rot in the hospital. I never saw her once while I was there. Besides, the gifts were nice (unlike Trisha). So, I knew they weren’t from her. But from the cheerleader? I couldn’t be sure. After all, at school she wouldn’t even look at me, let alone talk to me. And she’d called me a monster. It sort of seemed like she totally thought I was one—a monster … which I couldn’t actually blame her for, since I beat up her dirt-bag boyfriend every chance I got.
Please Love Me Back Page 9
