Bending Under Pressure

by Lindsay Paige

  “Hey,” I mock offense. “I never get in trouble.”

  Dad laughs. “Do we need to remind you that I found you and Haley asleep in the hammock at six the morning earlier this week?”

  “Are we sure this girl is good for him? He seems to get into a lot of trouble with her,” Natalie says. What is it with her and the use of the word we? Doesn’t she know she has no say so over my life? She isn’t my mother. She didn’t raise me.

  “Oh, Haley is a good girl,” Mom jumps in. “Keelan doesn’t really get into too much trouble.” Looking to Keira, she adds, “You’ll have to ask him what he does, but hasn’t gotten caught doing yet. He’s a sneaky kid.”

  “I am not,” I protest as any good kid in denial would.

  Mom’s retort is cut off when we hear a door slam shut. Dad and I glance at one another because it can only be Cameron. He storms past us on his way to the stairs. Mom stands.

  “Cameron,” she begins.

  He swivels on his heels and yells, “What?”

  Oh, shit. This isn’t good. His eyes are red around the edges, and I’ve never seen him so upset and angry before.

  “Cameron Wayne Giddings,” Dad starts with a deadly tone. “Don’t you dare yell at your mother like that.”

  Cameron seems to realize then that we have an audience. He holds up his hands. “Sorry, Mom. I just...” He shakes his head and turns to go upstairs without another word, defeat sounding with every heavy footstep.

  “I’ll go check on him, Mom,” I tell her. She nods, looking as worried as I feel. We can all hear his door slam closed again.

  “Tell him that stops,” Dad adds.

  “Yes, sir.” I take the stairs two at a time, knock once, and then enter his room. He’s fallen backward on his bed and is staring at the ceiling. “What happened?” I ask quietly, lying next to him.

  “I couldn’t do it and she went hysterical. I took Dad’s advice and tried to ask her why she wanted to do it now after all this time. She kept saying she just wanted to. That it was because she loved me and felt ready.” He takes a shaky breath. “She was so pissed when I told her I wasn’t ready. I’ve never seen Jess get so mad at me before. She didn’t get why. I don’t even know if I know why and then I started feeling like a dick, thinking maybe I was pressuring her into it.” He groans. “I think I lost her. I lost her over something I want to do with her, but am too fucking scared to do.”

  Wow. If she does break up with him, it’ll crush him. “You didn’t lose her. Give her time to cool off.”

  He shakes his head. “You didn’t see her face, Keelan. I’m never going to get that look out of my head.” He starts rubbing his knuckles against his jaw. “Go back downstairs. Ask Mom to leave me alone for a while.”

  “Are you going to be okay?”

  “As soon as Jess answers my texts.”

  I nod, stand, and leave him alone.

  Jess: SOS!!!!!! Come over please. I need a friend ASAP.

  I read the text twice. Uh oh. Something must’ve gone wrong. I quickly respond to Jess that I’m on my way and then text Keelan.

  Me: Jess has asked me to come over. How bad is it?

  Keelan: Seems pretty bad from my end.

  Dang it. Leaving my room, I find Walter in the living room. Mom is taking a shower because they are having another date night.

  “I’m going to Jess’s. There’s a crisis or something.” There is most definitely a crisis.

  “Be back by eleven.”

  “Okay.”

  It’s not until I’m in the car, almost to Jess’s, that I realize Walter just parented me. He gave me a curfew that I guess Mom should have done. What’s even weirder is that I don’t mind. Is it because Mom would have said the same thing? Or because Walter isn’t so bad to start with?

  I knock on Jess’s front door, but she doesn’t answer. After a moment of hesitating, I walk inside. “Jess,” I call out.

  “In here.”

  I follow the sound of her voice to her bedroom. She’s curled into a ball on her bed, tears streaming down her face. My heart breaks at seeing my best friend like this. I lie down on the bed next to her.

  “What happened?” I whisper.

  “He didn’t want to,” she cries, a fresh, steady stream of tears falling now. “He didn’t want me, Haley. He,” she hiccups, “said he couldn’t do it.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he wanted to know why I wanted to do it.” Jess pauses, clearly hesitating before continuing, “Why can’t loving him be enough of a reason?”

  “Is there another reason?”

  Jess doesn’t answer me. “I feel so bad because I got angry with him. I was mean to him and made him leave. He was devastated, Haley.”

  “Then why haven’t you called him?”

  “Because I am mad and upset and hurt. It might get worse.”

  Before I can change my mind, I ask, “Do you think this means neither of you are ready for it? That maybe you shouldn’t have sex yet?”

  “No,” she snaps. Jess sits up, folding her legs, and facing me as I do the same. “I’m ready. I want to. Everyone else is!”

  “I’m not.”

  Jess narrows her eyes. “Just leave, Haley. I’m obviously not in the mood for company anymore.”

  Dang it, now I’ve made her mad. “Jess, I’m just saying that you seem to be holding something back, Cam too,” I add, so it doesn’t seem like I’m blaming it on her. “How can you two be ready if you aren’t being honest with each other?”

  Jess groans, falling back onto the bed, tears falling again. “Go home. Please.” She closes her eyes, rolls over, and ignores me.

  Feeling bad and as if I made things worse, I leave. Once I’m in my car, I call Keelan.

  “Hey, Hales.”

  “Can I come over?” I ask quietly.

  “Yeah, Natalie and Keira just left.”

  I love he didn’t ask questions, just automatically said yes. After saying goodbye, we hang up. I drive over to his house. Keelan meets me with a half smile. There’s a solemn mood in the house, such a drastic change from the warm welcome I usually feel.

  “Can I see Cameron?” I don’t know why, but I feel like I should.

  “I don’t know if he’ll let anyone in, but we can try.” He takes my hand and we start climbing the stairs. “Things didn’t go well with Jess?”

  “No,” I reply with a shake of my head.

  Keelan sighs. He knocks on Cameron’s door. “It’s me.”

  “And me,” I add.

  There’s no response. Keelan glances at me and I know he wants to leave him alone, but I can’t.

  “I just saw Jess.”

  A moment later, the door unlocks and swings open. Cameron looks like crap. His blond hair is all over the place, but his face, his eyes, God, he looks so sad.

  “Good to know you both look terrible.”

  He doesn’t say anything. He just blinks. Then, he returns to his bed, leaning against his headboard. He fiddles with a loose thread on the hem of his t-shirt. Now that I’m here, I don’t know what to say. Keelan leans against the doorframe while I step further into the room, sitting on the edge of his bed.

  “What do you want, Haley?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to tell you that she feels bad for being mean to you. When I told her that it sounded like you were both holding something back, she asked me to leave for the second time. Give her time. She wants to call you, but she thinks she’ll make it worse because she’s all over the place. That’s all I wanted to say.” I don’t feel comfortable saying more than that because I feel like I would be betraying her trust and our friendship.

  Cameron nods, not looking any better. I stand and leave his room, Keelan following me into his room. I plop down onto his bed and he falls down next to me.

  “What else happened with Jess? Is she going to break up with him? Was she mean to you, too?”

  “I don’t think she wants to break up with him, and she only got a little mean when
she didn’t like what I said. How did it go with Natalie and Keira?” I ask to change the subject.

  Thankfully, Keelan lets me. “Okay. You and Keira would get along. She’s a book nerd, too.” He turns his grin toward me at that, and I roll my eyes. “Hey, I mean it in a good way.”

  “You better.” Then it hits me that his parents are here. I could hear them talking in the kitchen on the way to the staircase. “Why are your parents here? Saturday is date night.”

  “They’re too worried about Cam to leave.”

  My eyes widen. “Do they know?”

  “Dad does. I would guess he told Mom, but I’m not sure.”

  How awkward would that be? To have your parents know you were planning to have sex for the first time with your girlfriend, but it went majorly wrong? I would die from embarrassment. “So, what’s the latest verdict on Natalie?”

  Keelan sighs. “I feel like she’s trying to be my mom, and that’s not going to work. She keeps saying ‘we’ like she and my parents are the ones disciplining me or parenting me, and that’s not gonna happen. Honestly, I wish I only had to get to know Keira, even if she does talk a lot.”

  “Did you tell your parents?”

  “They were there when she said it, so no. I did tell Dad that she wanted me to visit my birth father. Thankfully, Dad said he wouldn’t be comfortable with it, but if I wanted to go, he and Mom would have to have a long discussion about it.” Keelan sits up, “And you know, it kind of ticks me off that Natalie called my mom this morning instead of waiting for me to wake up. How can she ask my mom if I’m okay with going shopping and them coming to my house for dinner? It was so freaking weird having them here.”

  He’s starting to get riled up, so I grab one of his pillows and stand. “Okay. We’re officially due for some time in the hammock. Let’s go before I start telling you about my phone call with my dad.”

  Keelan stands without arguing. He takes my hand, always having to lead me somewhere, even if it’s my idea. When we walk outside into the chilly air, I ask, “Why do you have to lead the way everywhere?”

  His brows bunch in confusion as he takes the pillow and then lies down on the hammock. “What do you mean?” he asks as I lie down next to him.

  “I said we should come out here, but you took my hand and I followed you. I feel like I’m always following you somewhere.”

  Keelan grins. “What’s so bad about that?”

  My mouth opens, but I don’t have a response. There isn’t anything wrong with it. I actually like it. “I just wanted to know why you always take the lead.”

  “I don’t know, Hales,” he laughs. “I just do.”

  I’ll have to be satisfied with that, I guess. “Are we racing tonight?”

  Keelan’s eyes darken, probably remembering the incident from before. “No.” When I frown, he adds, “Because we need to get you behind the wheel again. You need to practice taking off if you want to race.”

  I grin with excitement and quickly lean over to kiss him before I can lose my nerve. “What time are you picking me up?”

  “Midnight as usual.” His eyes are still looking on my lips, though.

  Anxious, I look up at the canopy of branches above me. Keelan shifts next to me to do the same. He grabs my hand, interlocking our fingers, and rests them on his stomach. I close my eyes to enjoy the entirety of the moment. Is it weird that moments with Keelan always seem perfect? All we’re doing is lying in a hammock, swinging gently, and relaxing.

  After a few minutes, I feel Keelan’s forehead pressed against my temple. My heart begins to gallop. His nose brushes my ear and this his lips move against my skin.

  “Let’s go to Elsie’s.”

  I open my eyes to blink twice. What? His sentence replays in my head. “Why?”

  “Because I can’t stop thinking about Cam and Jess and Mrs. Elsie is the cure.”

  “You’re that worried?”

  He nods. “I know how Cam is and I know Jess can be a little crazy, so yeah, I’m worried. Do you want to go?”

  “Me? Turn down Elsie’s?” I laugh. “Let’s go.”

  This time, he is the one who kisses me quickly. “You’re the best.”

  Ten minutes later, I’m still wearing a goofy grin as we walk into Elsie’s. We take a seat at the counter and are both surprised to see Mrs. Elsie sitting down as well. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her sitting, or so still. She smiles from ear to ear when we sit next to her.

  “How are you two doing?”

  “We’re doing okay,” Keelan answers.

  Mrs. Elsie snaps her fingers twice. “Ash,” she calls out toward the kitchen. “Order for a banana split.” She slides her eyes over to us. “Right?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he replies. “How are you doing? You never stop working.”

  Mrs. Elsie bristles. “Can’t an old lady take a break? It’s a slow afternoon, anyway.” She rests her chin in her hand, looking rather bored. When a girl, who I assume is Ash, brings us a banana split, Mrs. Elsie’s eyes light up as she turns toward us.

  “What have you lovebirds been up to today?”

  “We came here not to think about it,” Keelan laughs.

  Her face falls. “Oh, dear. That doesn’t sound good. Want me to tell you stories from when I was your age?”

  “Yes,” I quickly tell her. I can’t imagine what she was like in high school.

  “Well, I had quite the scandal going on around town.” I gasp and she laughs. “My two best friends were twin brothers, and I was selfish and foolish. I dated both of them.”

  “At the same time?” I ask incredulously.

  “No, but I went back and forth quite a bit. I was an attention whore.” I gasp again at hearing her use that term. Sweet Mrs. Elsie saying whore? Who is this woman? “And then, on our last day of senior year, one of them came up to me. He told me they had decided to walk away from me because I was ruining their relationship. He said unless it was a forever kind of thing to choose once and for all or leave them alone.”

  “So what happened?” I lean forward, ignoring that Keelan is between us, and I focus on her, waiting for her response.

  “They broke my heart.” She gives me a sad smile. “My daddy made me work here that summer. No one agreed with how I treated them, but in their own way, I loved them both. They left for college. It was hard to be without them. However, it also made me realize how much I’d screwed up because I did love one of them in a forever kind of way. It wasn’t until he came home after he graduated that I made my move.

  “I loved the diner so much, I never left. I went to the community college to take business classes because I wanted to take over whenever my daddy was ready to hand over the reins. It was so scary because I didn’t know anything about what was going on with them.”

  “Well? What happened already?”

  Mrs. Elsie laughs. “Don’t rush me, child.” Just then, an elderly man steps out from the kitchen. Mrs. Elsie’s eyes light up. “I eventually married him. Isn’t that right, dear?”

  He swipes away sweat as he comes to stand next to her. “Don’t tell the kids about your scandals, Elsie. Are you feeling better now that you’ve rested?”

  Keelan perks up at this. “You told us you were taking a break because it’s slow,” he accuses.

  “I was,” she answers simply with a shrug, her husband laughing.

  “Leave her alone, Keelan,” I begin, my curiosity getting the best of me. “So, what happened with your brother? Were you both in love with her? How did he take the news that you were getting back together and then marrying?”

  Mr. Elsie, because I have no clue what his name is, sits down on the other side of his wife. “He was okay with it.” My brows shoot to the top of my head. “He said he somehow always knew that if she came back to us, it wouldn’t be to him. He came to terms with it while we were in college, so it was easier to take the news once we got back. But she still finds a way to make family gatherings awkward by bringing it up.”

  Els
ie laughs. “I do nothing of the sort! But yes, I am feeling better. Are you going to lift your law now?” she asks him with a roll of her eyes that makes me smile.

  He kisses her forehead. “Get to work, woman.”

  She faces us. “Do you need anything?”

  “No, ma’am,” Keelan answers her.

  With that, Mr. Elsie disappears into the kitchen while Mrs. Elsie starts gliding around the diner, checking on customers. Our banana split is nearly gone since I was talking and Keelan was eating, so I pull it toward me.

  “I think I should finish this off for us.”

  He laughs. “Go ahead, Hales.”

  “Did you know that story?”

  Keelan shakes his head as I enjoy a bite. “Nope. Mrs. Elsie is always moving around too much to ever really talk to her. Can you imagine though? She had to be one hell of a girl to date brothers. I couldn’t imagine dating Jess or seeing Cameron date you.” At this, his eyes narrow. “Definitely not ever happening.”

  For some reason, that makes me smile.

  When I sneak out at midnight sharp, Keelan is leaning against the driver’s door. At first, I’m confused. He’s obviously on the wrong side. Then he grins and opens the door.

  “Might as well drive us there, Hales.”

  A squeal manages to escape from my throat and I throw my arms around him. “Thanks.”

  We get into his car, and I almost do a happy dance in my seat when I have no issues getting out of my driveway and onto the road. I should celebrate that victory because I know my biggest obstacle yet is ahead of me. I have to be able to take off fast without killing the engine, and be able to shift higher and higher.

  I turn onto Dead Man’s Curve, coming to a stop where Keelan usually does, but on the right side of the road.

  “This is pretty much trial and error. Remember how you do it, but try to do it faster. Eventually, it’ll come easier,” Keelan tells me.

  Nodding, I take a deep breath. What happens over the next half hour is epically embarrassing. I release the clutch just as he taught me. I push down on the gas at the same time. However, I guess it’s not at the same time because I kill the engine. Keelan starts wincing after the fifth time. We idle for a minute before I try again. I’m so excited that we’re moving, that the engine revs for me to shift again. So excited that I forget completely about the clutch.