“You look pretty.”
Haley rolls her eyes. “Give me your parent-approved-in-case-they’re-watching kiss on the cheek, so I can go home before I get you in more trouble.”
I laugh, kiss her cheek, and then see her off. Once her car disappears down the road, I go inside and fall into bed, promptly falling asleep.
Everything that could possibly go wrong for us in this game happens. Incomplete passes, fumbles, Cam getting sacked repeatedly, and countless interceptions. Coach is so pissed he can barely speak in complete sentences afterward. Hell is coming for us. There is no doubt about that. No one speaks as we load onto the bus. Coach is last and he stands at the front, staring us down.
“Talking and a running air conditioner are privileges earned by winners. Y’all aren’t winners. Y’all are losers. Losers don’t deserve to talk and they don’t deserve A/C. If any one of you decide to crack a window, expect to run all day tomorrow.” With that, he takes a seat. Many of us are sure to be repressing a groan.
A bus full of sweaty football players and stinky equipment without air conditioner is a nightmare. For the first thirty minutes, no one speaks for fear of punishment. The roar of the bus’s engine will cover up whispers if they’re quiet enough.
“Such a bastard,” I hear Seth comment from the seat behind me, his voice just loud enough for us to hear. “He’s only doing it because he wants to retire. I heard him talking about how he’ll retire once he wins his next championship.”
That explains why he’s ridin’ us so hard and putting a mountain of pressure on us. I’m not sure this is the way to motivate us though. Seems like we’re all just pissed off. But then again, anger is a good fuel to motivate.
My phone vibrates and I swipe the screen to see a text from Haley.
Haley: Sorry y’all lost. :/
Me: Not as sorry as we are. Coach turned off a/c and said we couldn’t talk.
Haley: Seriously? He can do that?
Me: Apparently. Will you be ready at midnight?
Haley: YES! Who are you racing? I forgot to ask.
Me: Alan.
Haley: Can we go to the water tower afterward?
Her text makes me smile. For someone who was so against it because of her fear of getting caught, she loves the thrill of it now.
Me: Yeah, we can.
We text until I arrive back on campus. Coach surprises us all with his simple dismissal and no mention of practice or meeting at the weight room tomorrow. We’re not complaining though. I head home, jumping into the shower first, and then go to my room to wait. I work on a paper that’s due Monday that I haven’t started yet.
Mom and Dad turn in a little after eleven. They stay awake long enough to catch the weather and then they go to bed. I manage to get a good chunk of my paper done before Cam and I are sneaking downstairs and outside to our vehicles. He leaves for Dead Man’s Curve while I drive to Haley’s. I laugh to myself when she comes jogging from the house before I can text her that I’m here.
“Let’s go,” she says as she slides into the passenger seat.
“No hello?” I tease.
She laughs, leans over, and kisses me. These are the best kisses from her. She’s excited about the race and it causes any shyness or whatever may hold her back to disappear. When I feel her lighten the pressure of her lips, I sneak a hand behind her neck to hold her in place. She tastes like chocolate, which is surprising both because it’s unexpected and because it’s turning me on.
Haley pulls away with a laugh. “Hello. Let’s go; we’re going to be late.”
My hand is still on her neck, so I tug her back to me. Her mouth is parted, giving me the perfect opportunity to slide my tongue back into her mouth. I don’t care if we’re late. Haley moans when I nip her lower lip before I release my hold on her. “You taste like chocolate.”
A sheepish smile graces her face. “I ate a Hershey bar right before you got here,” she explains as I back onto the road and turn on my headlights. “How many times are we racing?”
“As many times as you want,” I tell her. Tonight is a betting night, so we’re doing the best three out of five. That will allow Haley to get her fill, at the very least. She’s smiling when I glance over.
Alan is on the left hand side, so I come to a stop on the right. We get out and Haley meets me to walk over to where Alan is standing in front of his car.
“What’s up?” I say as we fist pump.
“Ready to kick your ass. Hey, Haley.”
“Hey.”
My phone vibrates with a text from Cam and I say, “Cameron says it’ll be a few minutes before we can start.”
“Why?” Haley asks.
“Must still be taking bets,” Alan answers for me.
“Bets?” Haley turns to look at all the people along the stretch of the road. “They bet on the races? I didn’t know that.” She doesn’t sound upset, which is good; she just sounds surprised.
“We don’t do it often.” My phone vibrates again and I nod to Alan. “Let’s race.”
Haley makes me laugh when she squeals and rushes to her side of the car.
Alan shakes his head and tells me, “She’s a keeper, man.”
Trust me, I know. We buckle up and hear the familiar countdown. It’s as if Alan hesitates or has a delay because from the beginning, I’m ahead of him by a margin. The speedometer keeps climbing as we drive over the first hill. My stomach swoops down like clockwork. The nose of Alan’s car is aligned about midway to my door. As long as I can keep a lead, I’ll win easily. Alan will be pissed for round two though.
There’s no question when my car flies by Cameron that I won. My grin is automatic as I hit the brakes to slow down fast before the curve. Since we’re doing more than one, we’ll go ahead and circle around for the next race.
Haley leans over to kiss my cheek. “God, I love this so much. How many did y’all agree to? Best two of three or three of five?”
“Three of five.”
“Sorry to say this, but I hope Alan wins two, so y’all will have to do five.”
I laugh. “I hope so too. I’m expecting a hell of a kiss when I win.”
“Oh, you can count on that,” she promises.
We don’t waste much time before the second race starts. My hands shake just a little as the adrenaline surging through me increases with my speed. This race is closer this time, and I’m not sure who wins.
“Text Cam to see which of us won,” I say.
Haley does and by the time we’re lined up again, she answers, “Alan, but barely.”
I take a deep breath to steady myself. Two down, three to go. My car lurches forward about three seconds too late. Alan getting the lead from the start isn’t ideal at all. I push my car to its limits, but it’s not good enough. Alan two, Keelan one. When we line up again, Haley rests her hand over mine on the stick shift. When I glance over at her, she gives me a small smile. She leans over to quickly press her lips to mine.
“A good luck kiss,” she explains.
I grin. “Thanks, Hales.”
We’re counted off once more and are evenly matched again. Everything seems to fall away, like my entire focus zones in on what’s in front of me and nothing else. My heart is beating so fast, I feel like it could bruise my chest. The people who came to watch are nothing more than blurred figures in my peripheral. My foot feels like it’s as far as it will go on the gas pedal. The sight of Cam’s truck snaps me out of it. It’s a close call again if I’m not mistaken.
Haley picks up her phone as we decelerate. We don’t speak until she confirms the winner.
“You won!”
The familiar pressure to succeed latches heavily onto my chest. Pressure to win and to meet Haley’s expectations. It causes sweat to break out on my hands. I wipe them on my jeans and take a deep breath. I can do this.
My movements are fluid and quick for the final race. Alan is keeping up with me, but I’m positive I have the lead when we drive over the final hill before I have to
slow to a stop the moment we pass Cameron. As soon as I’ve come to a complete stop, the distinct sound of a seatbelt unbuckling pierces the silence of my car. Haley grabs each side of my face and tugs me to her.
Her mouth crashes into mine with more force than I was expecting. Her tongue swipes across my lower lip before pressing forward between my lips. I open my mouth in response to her silent demand. Haley is going to drive me to the brink of insanity. Her tongue is teasing, commanding, and every caress goes straight to the one part of my body that isn’t allowed to take part in this.
A rapping on my window forces Haley to jump back with surprise. I glare at Cameron, who has the biggest, stupidest grin on his face. Haley has already opened her door, so I have no choice but to follow. All I know is that as soon as possible, I’m taking her to the water tower where we can kiss without any interruptions.
Kiera arrives at the house a little after noon. Seeing Keira unfortunately means also seeing Natalie. I still haven’t forgiven her for the family reunion incident. Mom hasn’t mentioned what happened during their phone call afterward, and I haven’t asked. My parents are at the grocery store, so I don’t have them as a barrier.
“Can I speak with you for a moment?” Natalie asks after we exchange the usual greetings.
“Sure.” I face Kiera and add, “You can put your stuff in my room. The girls will be here later.”
“Okay, thanks.” Keira makes her way upstairs as I step outside with Natalie since Cameron is in the living room.
“I wanted to apologize about what happened at the reunion and if it upset you and made you uncomfortable. I thought it would be a great way for you to meet everyone. I didn’t mean to—”
“Didn’t mean to catch me off guard? Didn’t mean to lie? Didn’t mean to pretend that I’m your kid?” I blurt out, letting my temper get the best of me. “Look, Natalie, I still don’t know what you want from me. It feels more like you’re trying to make me part of your family than you simply getting to know me. Yeah, what you did made me mad. I don’t like this entire situation to start with because it’s messing up the stable life I already have and love.
“I’m trying here because I was curious and because I like Keira. But if you do something like that to me again, I won’t hesitate to cut you off. I don’t owe you anything and I don’t have to talk or meet with you at all. The least you can do is be upfront and honest with me.” I force myself to stop because she looks as if I’ve shocked her. The only reason I spoke up is because she was still acting as if she didn’t intentionally hide it from me, as if there was nothing wrong with that. Plus, I can’t have Mom fighting all my battles for me.
Natalie clears her throat. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Keelan. I hope we can move past this. Maybe you can come spend the night at our house as well.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Okay, well, I’m going to go. I’ll be back to pick her up tomorrow.” She gives me a hug, which is still awkward, and then she leaves.
Cameron and Kiera are sitting on the couch, talking when I re-enter the house. When Mom and Dad come home a few minutes later, we help them unload the groceries. It’s odd because Keira seems to fit in better with my family than I did with hers. She laughs at Dad’s jokes, talks to Mom about recipes, and ends up spending more time with her than us so far.
Haley and Jess arrive at the same time. I hear their doors closing and Dad laughs as both Cameron and I jump up to go outside to help them with their bags. Cam walks to Jess while I meet Haley.
“Hey,” she says. “Is she here?”
“Yeah, Mom is keeping her company.” I take her small duffle bag from her and gently kiss her lips, remembering last night. The struggle to keep my hands on her hips while she straddled my lap had to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. She seemed so content to just kiss that I didn’t want to make her feel pressured if I let my hands roam.
“I could’ve come earlier, but I slept in late. I’m still surprised your parents are letting me come over, considering I’m such a bad influence.”
I laugh. “Having Jess, Cam, and Kiera here helps your case.”
She laces her fingers with mine and squeezes, holding me back instead of following Jess and Cam inside. “I expect you to help my case. Don’t make them hate me more.” There’s too much seriousness in her statement.
“Hales, they like you, promise.” She rolls her eyes. “They just don’t like that I sneak out if you need me or that we kiss so much.”
“I might think that, but if it was just those things then Cameron would have the same restrictions,” she sighs. “Sorry. It bothers me more because I know that between the two of us, you’re the bad influence.”
“Think of it as taking one for the team. And remember, they do like you.”
“Okay,” she nods. “Let’s go before they think we’re trying to have a quickie.”
My laughter steals my breath as we finally walk inside. Everyone seems to be in the kitchen, probably eating cookies based on the chocolate chip aroma floating around the house. I could let Haley join them while I take her things to my room, but I don’t. I make her come with me. The next time I get her alone will probably be when everyone goes to sleep and I want to make the best out of every chance we get.
I drop her bag onto my bed, then swivel to face her, cupping her face in my hands. The corners of her mouth are already lifting up into a smile. The staggering need to kiss her all over, touch her wherever I want, and to see more of her body is getting out of hand. All I can do is pull her closer to me and kiss her that much harder. Haley’s open palms rest on my chest. She gently pushes to put space between us, her irregular breathing giving her away.
“I just said I expect you to help my case,” she scolds me with a laugh. She takes my hand and then leads us down to the kitchen where everyone has assembled.
I realize I’m supposed to be socializing and hanging out with my sister, and I am, but I’m also determined to make Haley as happily miserable as I am. I sneak kisses when no one is looking. I stroke my fingers over her skin when I can get away with it. And the moment my parents go to bed, we’re left to our own devices to watch a movie in the living room.
Mom said Jess and Haley could sleep in Cameron’s bed while Keira gets mine. My brother and I are to sleep in the living room on the pull-out couch. For now, Cam and Jess have abandoned us to disappear into his room. Haley is on one side while Keira is on the other. Haley rests her head on my shoulder and I wonder when Kiera will want to go to bed.
“So, what did Mom want to talk to you about?” Kiera asks a few minutes later when it’s apparent Haley has fallen asleep on us when she slides forward and lays her head in my lap.
“She apologized for what happened. Are you glad you came?”
“Yeah. Your parents are really great, Cam, Jess, and Haley, too. Growing up here must’ve been wonderful,” she finishes quietly.
“How was it to grow up with Aunt Frances? How is it now with Natalie?” We’ve never talked about it before and with my girlfriend asleep, we don’t have anything better to do.
“It wasn’t bad. Aunt Frances did the best she could. She would take me to visit Mom and Dad. I didn’t realize that wasn’t normal for most kids, so finding out everyone had their mom and dad at home with them was kinda hard. For the most part, I like living with Mom, but...” her voice trails off.
“But what?”
“She’s strict. Sometimes, I wish I still lived with Aunt Frances.”
“How come you’re not?” I ask.
Keira shrugs. “Mom didn’t want me to anymore. I didn’t get a vote.”
Knowing that, knowing that Keira doesn’t like living with Natalie, doesn’t help her case at all. It makes me even more wary of her.
I glance at the front door again. Still closed. I left Keelan’s earlier than everyone else so I could come home, shower, and get ready for lunch with my father. He was supposed to be here at noon. It is now 12:30. He isn’t here nor has he texted me.
“Have you heard from your dad?” Walter asks tentatively as he sits down in a recliner.
“No.” My eyes can’t help but look at the door again.
“Have you texted him?”
“No.” Maybe it’s wrong, but I want to see how long it takes my dad to contact me. I don’t know what will be worse though. Him forgetting completely, or him being extremely late. I’m going to have to wait and find out. As every minute passes, my heart aches more and more.
He’s forgotten about me again.
Will I ever be a priority in his life like I used to be?
Mom stays silent when she joins us, and I’m grateful. While I don’t think she would say, “I told you so,” I don’t want her to say anything at all. We’re in a good place and I can’t count on my negative emotions for my father transferring onto her.
At the hour mark, Walter pushes the foot of the recliner down. “How about you give me my first tennis lesson today?”
“I don’t know.” I’d rather shed some tears and then go to the courts by myself. It doesn’t help that I’m not sure if I’m unsure if he truly wants to go today, if he’s doing it out of pity, or as a means to distract me. I hate myself for even wanting to stay here in case Dad shows up. Hastily, I make a decision. “Okay, sure. We can do that. Do you want to come, Mom?”
“No, that’s all right. You and Walter have fun.”
Walter and I stand, going toward our respective bedrooms to change. I grab my extra racquet and a cannister of balls before meeting him again. Walter drives us to the courts, making small talk and staying far away from the subject of my father. There’s a bite in the air today, which makes me grateful I wore my athletic pants instead of one of my skirts. I show him how to hold the racquet and how to swing a forehand and then a backhand. He’s right-handed, so his forehand is simply swinging on the right, and his backhand is when he reaches across his body to swing from the left side.
“Think you got it?” I ask.
“This old dog can learn new tricks, young lady,” he retorts, causing me to laugh.
Bending Under Pressure Page 21
