by Lisa Shearin
I shook my head. “I can’t put anyone else-”
Tam was unyielding. “I have guest rooms, and I swear on what honor I may still possess that I will not take advantage of the situation.”
Instead of an argument, I gave him a tired smile. “Tam, you have more honor than most of the mages on this island put together.”
His dark eyes widened. I’d surprised him with that. Another first.
I pressed on. “I appreciate the offer; but if certain people found out that I was staying here with you, the two of us would have more trouble than we already do-if that’s even possible.”
Tam started to protest, but I held up a restraining hand. “You aren’t the only one I’ve said ‘no’ to today. Uncle Ryn wanted me to stay with him. And Mychael wants me to move back into the citadel. I turned both of them down.”
“Both were generous offers.” Smooth muscles worked in Tam’s jaw. “You should have accepted Mychael’s.” He said I should have accepted it; he didn’t say he’d have liked it. He wouldn’t have, and I didn’t need an umi’atsu bond to tell me why.
There was tension growing between Tam and Mychael, and the source, cause, and reason for that tension was me. Tam wanted me. Mychael wanted to protect me-and maybe more. My relationship with Tam, if you could call it that, had yet to progress much beyond the teasing and lust stage. However since Mychael stepped into the picture a few weeks ago, Tam’s teasing had taken a turn toward the serious. There had almost been a confrontation, but I’d defused it by leaving. Two men couldn’t exactly fight over a prize if the prize refused to stay around to be fought over. Tam was in enough trouble, and Mychael had too much on his plate. I wasn’t going to add to either one.
I suddenly felt every bump and bruise I had, and I ached all over. Yes, the Saghred had kept that Reaper at bay, but if Tam hadn’t used me to bottle that Volghul, I wouldn’t be alive to feel aches and pains. I didn’t like being used, but it had been for a good cause. A lot of people were alive because of what Tam had done.
“Thank you.” My voice sounded as beat as the rest of me.
Tam’s warily arched an eyebrow. “For what?”
“For offering me a place to stay, for seeing through my eyes, showing me what I needed to do, and keeping me, Piaras, and Talon from getting ripped apart. I didn’t like how you did it, and I don’t like what’s between us, but it beats the alternative. I’m alive and, believe it or not, I am grateful.”
Tam smiled slowly, showing a hint of fang. “You’re welcome. I take it that means you’ve decided not to stab me today?”
I gave him a crooked grin. “Day ain’t over yet.”
“I’ll bear that in mind.”
“And the way my luck’s running, with our bond, if I stab you, I’ll stab myself. I’d rather not do that.” I crossed my arms. “And by the way, you still haven’t answered my first question. When were you going to tell me about our bond?”
“After we bottled that Volghul, I was coming to get Talon-and you. I ran into the Guardians escorting Talon home; they told me you were at watcher headquarters-and that Mychael was there. I knew you were safe.” A bad-boy sparkle lit his black eyes. “And after what I did with you this morning, I knew you’d come after me.”
“Did you get the treat of seeing what happened while I was there?”
“Just the fight-Carnades, the Dagiks, and a Wollek. You were scared, so I could see what you did.”
“A Wollek?”
“The yellow demon.”
I sighed. Why couldn’t everyone just call the damned things by their colors?
“If you saw all that, then you know what the Saghred and I did right in front of Carnades.”
Tam glowered. “I saw. You should have let those Dagiks kill him.”
“On hindsight, that would have been the smart thing to do,” I admitted. “Problem is I’ve got this thing called a conscience that won’t let me stand by and watch someone get their throat ripped out if I can stop it.”
“Even if that someone is Carnades.”
“Yep, even him. I know. It’s a character flaw; I’m working on it.” I felt laughter bubbling up and gave in to it. “A demon tries to gum me to death, so I crush him like rotten fruit. Carnades wants me executed; there’s nothing between me and the Saghred but a closed containment room door; and a Reaper just tried to suck out a couple thousand souls, including mine. And to top it all off, I actually managed to stop the thing.”
Then there was what happened between Mychael and me. I think that should have scared me a lot more than it did. When we had touched, his power and mine had become one, and for the span of a few heartbeats, so were we. The memory of Mychael’s compelling voice resonated in my mind. Magic most potent. He could say that again.
Carnades knew Tam was a dark mage; he knew I was linked to the Saghred. I’d used its power today, unwillingly. But to men like Carnades, motive didn’t matter. The moment the Saghred had come in contact with me, I was tainted and had to be destroyed. Men like Carnades also didn’t give up until they got what they wanted.
Tam was speaking. “Raine, I think you should-”
“Find a hole and pull the dirt in after me?” I got out of that chair. I had to move, and keep moving. Running would feel really good right now.
“Raine, I-”
“Tam, I have so much power now, I scare me!” The panic I couldn’t give voice to in the tunnel suddenly lashed out like a whip. I leaned my head against the glass wall. My breath frosted the cool surface. “I scare me.” My voice was muffled by the glass and exhaustion.
One entire wall of Tam’s apartment was floor-to-ceiling glass overlooking Sirens’ theatre and stage below. Tam had the glass bespelled so he could see out, but no one could see in.
I heard the creak of leather as Tam came to stand directly behind me, the heat of his body warming me. Warm and nice. Except it wasn’t nice; it was dangerous. Don’t forget dangerous, Raine. Tam was dangerous to anyone who crossed his path, but mostly to me, especially now.
And I was dangerous to everyone, period.
Tam’s strong hands settled on my shoulders and gently pulled me back against him. I knew it was a bad idea, but I leaned into him anyway, my head resting on his chest. Just a minute or two wouldn’t do any harm. A little comforting never hurt anyone, and right now, I could use some.
Our reflections looked back at us out of the glass.
I watched Tam’s hands slide from my shoulders to my arms. His hands were deliciously warm. My numerous brushes with death today had left me shivering-and not just from cold.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Those two words said everything, but told me nothing.
Tam could be sorry for any number of things: the bond that linked us, using me to cram that demon into a bottle, me being accused of practicing black magic, or even the crap heap my life had become thanks to the Saghred. But it didn’t tell me what I could do about any of them. The only thing I wanted more than to run was to do something, anything to find a way out of all of this.
Tam wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer, his head bowed, hair falling in a silken curtain around us. The side of his face softly brushed against mine, like a cat-a big, dangerous cat. A shiver ran through me. This was about to go beyond comforting.
My heart sped up, and not just from Tam’s touch and his scent of fire-heated spices, of cinnamon and cloves. Getting within arms’ reach of Tam had always been risky; the kind of risk where your clothes somehow ended up on the floor. Now risk had turned to danger. Thanks to our bond, we were as intimate as two people could be and still keep their clothes on. The Saghred had forged our bond.
The rock never did anything without a reason-and no wards held it now.
I swallowed hard. “Tam, no.”
“Raine, I would never hurt you.” Tam’s voice was a husky whisper against my ear. It was the whisper of a man torn between what he wanted and the knowledge that what he wanted could ultimately destroy him. Tam wanted me. Tam’s bla
ck magic wanted the Saghred. Deep down, he knew it. He knew it and he didn’t care-or he couldn’t stop himself.
In one swift, smooth move, Tam turned me to face him. I didn’t fight him; I needed to see his eyes, to see if Tam was the only one home in there. I looked up into twin pools in a midnight forest. Not the solid black orbs that they’d been under the embassy, no black magic glittering there, just desire. A woman could drown in those pools. I could drown in those pools. But if I did, I’d drag Tam under with me. It might not be tonight, but it would happen. The Saghred would see to it.
“No, Tam,” I said quietly. “I’m the one who would hurt you.”
His heart pounded beneath my hands as he pulled me tight against him, his body hard against mine, his breath warm against the tip of my ear. I expected his lips next, followed by a nibble of fang. Neither happened. We stood there, not moving, not speaking, not safe. Definitely not safe. And we both knew it.
Tam pulled back just enough to gaze down at me. “It won’t happen yet.” His denial was murmured on the barest breath. He bent his head, his lips poised above mine. “Not yet.”
I didn’t stop him, and I should have.
Tam’s kiss was a brush of featherlight silk, tentative, cautious; but his breathing had taken on a ragged edge-for me and for the power that had slowed to a soft pulse inside of me, anticipating, waiting. The touch of his lips quickened that pulse, and my breath along with it. Suddenly I was returning his kiss, my mouth pressing insistently against his, my tongue touching the smooth sharpness of his fangs. Tam shivered at the contact, and his breath came in a quick hiss as his long fingers gripped my hair, holding my head still as he kissed me hard and deep, devouring. His other hand left my waist to explore other places. I heard a soft groan; I think it was me. A slim slice of my consciousness knew it was more than me, more than Tam.
Stop this, Raine. Stop it now.
I couldn’t.
My hands took on a life of their own, sliding from Tam’s chest to his throat. I lingered there, my fingers resting against the vulnerable pulse point, feeling it quicken and throb at my touch. Tam’s arms tightened around me, and suddenly my feet weren’t touching the floor.
This was more than sensation, more than Tam and me. Magic curled in a sensuous swirl of heat through my belly and lower, along my skin and through my mind, and I saw Tam and I pressed together as if I were standing outside my body, a witness to passion that I had no control over. Tam’s magic answered mine, his power responding, transforming those swirls into living vines, touching, entangling.
Binding.
Heat flared in the center of my chest, awake and eager, and I came back to myself, passion turned to panic.
I wasn’t across the room; I was clenched tightly in Tam’s arms. Our lips parted and we froze, pressed together, breathing fast, our hearts beating faster. Inside of me, the Saghred’s burn went from an exultant blaze to a triumphant smolder.
The rock had just given Tam a sample of the ultimate fix and a taste of me along with it. For a recovering addict, it could be damnation. Tam might be willing to risk it; I wasn’t going to risk Tam or myself.
I got my hands between us and pushed hard against his chest. “Tam, let me go.”
I was panting, so was he. A shudder ran through his body and his hold on me loosened just enough that my feet touched the floor. I was ready to fight him if I had to, but Tam released me.
“I’m sorry,” he managed between breaths.
I pulled air into my lungs, trying to clear my head, and took two steps back. I’d have retreated farther, but my back was against the glass wall. Tam made no move to come after me.
I exhaled and tried for some more air. “My fault. Shouldn’t have… let you get that close.”
Tam’s lips were parted, breathing softly. “I should have had more control.”
His dark eyes were still drowning pools, reflecting fear at what had happened, but desire at what we’d done. I looked away. I couldn’t drown if I didn’t go swimming again.
“Though control would be easier to come by if you didn’t feel so good.” There was still fear in Tam’s eyes, but his sly grin was sex itself. “And if you hadn’t tried to stick your tongue down my throat.”
“I didn’t try to-” Then memory collided with sensation. Oh yes, I did. Damn.
“Maybe next time we should just stand across the room and talk dirty to each other,” he suggested.
“There can’t be a next time.”
Tam didn’t answer. He might be a scoundrel, but he didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep.
“Tam,” I said in a warning tone.
He raised his hands defensively. “I’ll keep my hands to myself, but my thoughts are my own.”
“Until your thoughts become mine,” I shot back. “By then the damned rock will control us both. Permanently.”
That reached him.
“Before that happens, we need help-high-powered and someone we can trust.”
Tam frowned. “Mychael.”
I nodded. “And he already knows we have a connection of some kind.”
Tam didn’t ask how Mychael knew, and I didn’t tell him how he found out. With our umi’atsu bond, I didn’t understand how Tam couldn’t have known. When Mychael and I had linked, I wasn’t asleep or dreaming, and I was definitely having some strong emotions. Tam should have seen, heard, and felt every second of it. But I wasn’t going to question Lady Luck too closely. If she wanted to smile down on me, I’d take all of her goodwill that I could get.
I pushed on before Tam did ask. “And Mychael can help keep us out of a dungeon.”
He frowned. “Or put us in one.”
“He won’t do that.”
“Not you; it’s always open season on me.”
“He’s not going to arrest you; he told me so. He knows you didn’t open that Hellgate.”
Surprise, suspicion, and then reluctant gratitude flowed across Tam’s face.
I continued. “On the other hand, Carnades knows he’s found the culprit. In fact, he tried to arrest her at watcher headquarters.”
“You?”
I nodded once. “Little old me. By the way, you’re just my accomplice.”
Tam stood there in utter disbelief, and then he actually laughed.
“I’m glad someone thinks it’s funny. Carnades thinks I have demonic minions.”
That just made Tam laugh harder. It was rich, contagious, and I was relieved to hear it. “That is absolutely the first time that I’ve been accused of being a mere accomplice.” His black eyes were sparkling. “And he thinks that you have minions.”
“I could have minions,” I said defensively.
“No, darling, you most definitely could not have demonic minions.” The twinkle left his eyes and the laughter stopped. “And I don’t care what cursed rock you’re linked to, you would never open a Hellgate. I know it, because I have. Once. I’m not proud of it, but I did it. And I almost didn’t live to regret my own arrogance. There are… rituals that have to be done first. Hellgates aren’t accidents; they’re intentional and malicious.” His eyes softened, and I could tell he wanted to touch me again. “You could never be malicious.”
I felt my face get warm, and I had to clear my throat before continuing. “Carnades Silvanus thinks I was intentionally malicious with you backing me up-and by now a lot of other people do, too.”
Tam smiled, though it was more like a baring of fangs. “Carnades and I go back more than a few years. He was the Conclave emissary to the goblin court while I was there.”
“Carnades was at the goblin court?” I’d have paid good money to have seen that. Though I shouldn’t be surprised. He had made it his life’s work to study his enemies.
“He’s been having me watched the past few days,” Tam said. “But he hasn’t come knocking on my door.”
“Give him time, he’ll get around to you. I think he wants to scratch me off his list first. Right now he’s running around with an arrest warrant wi
th my name on it.”
Tam shook his head and chuckled softly. “I can’t believe he actually thinks you’re practicing black magic.”
“And consorting with demons. All topped off by using the Saghred to save his highborn ass.” I laughed, a short bark. “I’m sure there’s more he’s accusing me of, but he probably ran out of room on the warrant.”
“Carnades would never want to sully his mind with mere facts, but it takes seven dark mages to open a Hellgate-six to do the heavy lifting, so to speak, and one obscenely powerful dark mage to guide their efforts and keep the Hellgate stable once it’s open.”
I had to ask. “When you opened that Hellgate before, were you the guider or a lifter?”
Tam’s eyes met mine. “I was the guider. I also had a reason, and at the time I thought it was a good one. I was wrong; I couldn’t have been more wrong-and it almost cost me my life.”
I cringed inwardly. Now you know, Raine. Are you happy? No, and you knew you wouldn’t be, but you had to ask anyway. When are you going to learn to keep your mouth shut?
I knew the answer to that one, too.
I frowned. “Mychael said there are some dark mages in the Conclave and on the college faculty.” Nothing says you’re sorry like diverting the blame to others.
“Yes, there are. And a few of them are strong enough to do the grunt work. Maybe.”
“That ‘few’ includes you and me.”
“We have the power,” Tam admitted, “and I have the knowledge. But I’d have to be ten types of insane to ever do that again. And the last time I checked, my sanity was completely intact. Not to mention we didn’t do it.”
“Tell that to Carnades.”
Tam’s eyes glittered with dangerous glee. “I just might do that.”
Not only would I pay to see that, I’d want a front-row seat.
“Okay, so who’s the ultimate evil, dark mage nutcase?”
I knew as soon as I asked it.
“Shit,” I spat.
Out of the mouth of an idiot comes the truth. I could tell myself that I’d been on the run for most of the day, fought demons, dodged arrest, defied Death. I hadn’t exactly had time to think, let alone ponder a possible list of suspects. I didn’t need a list; I had a name.
