by Nicole Fox
When I came back in the door, I heard Snake in the kitchen. “There you are,” I said pleasantly, walking in and setting the stack of mail on the table. “I was beginning to think you’d be working in the garage all day. I’m glad to see you’re taking a lunch break.”
Snake opened the fridge and retrieved a package of salami, some cheese, the jar of mayonnaise, and a bottle of mustard. “I might not have, except that I happened to look up at the clock. I was getting pretty involved in my work.”
“How’s that old bike doing, anyway? Is it everything you thought it would be?” Snake had purchased a vintage motorcycle with the rest of the money from the bet. He had looked it over thoroughly and deemed it worthy of fixing up and reselling.
He grinned as he assembled his sandwich. “Better than you might think. I know you weren’t too sure about it. I saw that look on your face when I brought it home. But I’ve just about got the engine put back together, and it should be ready for a new paint job by next week.” Snake took a big bite and rolled his eyes up to the ceiling while he thought. “I hate to spend the day working on it when I could be gutting the downstairs bathroom or peeling wallpaper, but the money I stand to make on this deal will really help finance all the remodeling.”
I blinked. “Really? You think you can get a decent price for it?”
His smile grew even wider. He had a trick up his sleeve. “Sweetheart, I know I can. I already have a buyer for it. A guy came to the dealership last week looking for just this sort of bike. Of course, we had nothing like it on the floor or in the lot. You know Harvey. He only wants the cleanest, most popular styles in his inventory, but that doesn’t suit everyone.”
“Isn’t he going to be angry that you’re selling something to this guy on the side?” I had worried a lot ever since Snake had decided to leave the Warriors and settle down. I worried about whether or not he would be truly happy if he wasn’t on the road, even though motorcycle club life was not one that was suited for a young family. Even more so, I worried about money. With his looks, Snake couldn’t get a job just anywhere. Most places didn’t want to hire an ex-biker with intense eyes and tattoos, even if he were to agree to wear business casual attire. But the dealership had been a good opportunity for him. Snake enjoyed both selling and fixing bikes, and the hours weren’t too bad. I didn’t want him to lose this job until he was ready to move on to something else.
Snake finished another bite of his sandwich and turned around to rip a paper towel off the roll on the counter. “I’m sure he would be if I hadn’t asked him first. When this customer couldn’t find anything he liked, I stepped into Harvey’s office and told him the situation. He said to go right ahead. Harvey figured if I was helping the guy out, he might come back to the dealership in the future when he needed something else.”
I beamed at him. Ever since we had started this new life together, he had found a way to make everything work. Every time I worried that things would fall through or that we wouldn’t have enough money, it all came through just fine. “What color are you going to paint it?”
“I hadn’t really decided yet, but the customer says he wants it to be a nice dark green so that’s what I’ll do.” He polished off his lunch, wiped his hands once again, and reached out for Ariel. I transferred her into his arms, and she stared at the shiny zipper on his jacket. “I think he’ll be thrilled with it, and I just might take a little bit of money from the sale to buy another bike if it’s all right with you.”
How could I say no? It made him happy to have his side job and provide a little extra money for our budget, and he definitely knew what he was doing when it came to motorcycles. “Of course.”
He was focused on Ariel now, his face soft as he stared down at her. “I’ve got one in mind that I saw online the other day. I just kind of dismissed it since I hadn’t sold the current one yet, and I didn’t want to get too far ahead of myself. But now that I know I have a buyer, it’s a different situation. Isn’t that right, Ariel? Daddy’s going to get a new bike, and he’s going to make it all pretty. Maybe someday he’ll make one for you.”
The little girl gurgled at him pleasantly.
“I think she likes that idea,” I remarked, imagining how adorable it would be once Ariel was old enough to ride behind Snake on his bike. Of course, she would have all the appropriate safety equipment instead of just jumping on wearing a pageant gown. And I knew I would never need to worry about anyone taking advantage of her and talking her into doing things she didn’t want to do. We would teach her early on that she was a fierce, independent woman.
“What came in the mail?” Snake asked.
I had nearly forgotten about it at this point. I turned back toward the counter where I had set the stack of envelopes and began to sort through them. “I’m hopeful for some good letters from the paper today. When I first started writing for the Myrtle Creek Messenger , I really wasn’t sure anyone would be interested. The editor assured me they would read my column, but I just didn’t believe her. After that first letter, they’ve just been increasing in volume each week.”
When the editor for The Messenger had first contacted me about writing an article, I had thought she was joking. Once she convinced me she was serious, I had turned her down anyway. There was no way anyone would care about what I had to say now that I had shamed the town and left.
But after a day or two, I had called her back. I wanted to be a writer, after all, so it would be foolish to turn down a paid position at a professional paper. It would be a good credit on my resume at the very least. I wrote the first article and crossed my fingers.
The readers soon proved me wrong. The editor called the next week, thrilled over how well my writing had gone over. I continued to write every week. Sometimes I discussed the challenges or pleasures of motherhood. Other times I reminisced on what life was like in Myrtle Creek compared to our new place in Wood River, Alabama. Just last week I had received a few letters from young girls back home who wanted my advice on growing up beautiful and strong. I couldn’t have asked for something so wonderful. I had once told my mother that I would have things to write about geared toward young women who wanted to know about my beauty pageant days, and that lie had now come true.
“Anything good?” Snake stepped over next to me so he could see.
There were several envelopes from the newspaper. The letters were always addressed to the paper and then forwarded to me, since I wasn’t interested in giving out my personal address to anyone. “Looks like it! With a little luck, I’ll have material to write for weeks. My readers are so inspiring.” I tore open the first envelope and unfolded the letters inside. “The paper has talked about setting up a special email address for me, since everyone wants to communicate electronically. I don’t really mind the idea, but I like getting actual handwritten letters.”
Snake leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. “I’m so proud of you, Bambi.”
I flushed. “Why do you say that? I’m just writing a little column for a tiny paper. It’s not like I’m writing for the New York Times or anything.”
“You know that’s not what matters. You’re doing something you love, and you’re pursuing your degree on the side. Not to mention you’re raising a beautiful little girl. Most of all, though, I’m glad you’re doing something that makes you happy. I wish you could see the way your face lights up when you talk about writing.”
“I do love it.” I pretended to be reading the letter in my hand but I was too distracted. I had worried at first that my little job—which paid but didn’t pay much—wouldn’t be enough for Snake. We had a house to remodel and a child to raise, and I didn’t want to feel like a burden. But he hadn’t complained once, instead putting the entire weight of earning money for the household on himself. My paychecks mostly went into savings or towards extra things I wanted for Ariel. My life was so easy and happy these days.
“I know you do. And one of these days, you’ll have a huge book contract and Ariel and I will have to
go on tour with you while you sign books and negotiate movie deals.”
I shook my head and glanced up at him. “You’re being ridiculous again.”
“Am I?” He gave me an innocent look. “I thought I was just telling the truth.”
Returning my attention to the letters, I pulled off the top one and put it on the bottom of the stack. As soon as I saw the next letter, I froze. I recognized the handwriting immediately, and my eyes paused on the greeting. I wasn’t sure I could go on.
Snake noticed my distress immediately. “What’s the matter?”
But I had already started to absorb the words, and I couldn’t stop. I held out one finger to let him know he had to wait a moment while I read. My eyes flew over the words quickly, nearly skimming the document before I slowed down and read it all over again. I knew who this letter was from, but I hadn’t expected it to say what it did. When I was done, I handed it over.
He moved Ariel so that he was holding her with one arm. I reached out for her, but he refused me. He wanted the baby for himself. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to focus on how sweet that was. I handed him the letter with a shaking hand and turned away, biting my thumb between my front teeth.
“Dear Bambi—”
“No, don’t read it out loud. Please.” I already knew what it said, and I didn’t want his voice to overlap the words inside my head. Besides, I needed a moment to think and to try to absorb this. Of all the letters I had received during my short time as a columnist, none of them had ever been like this.
Dear Bambi,
I had seen your name in the paper plenty of times. Every time you won a pageant or made the honor roll, the Myrtle Creek Messenger instantly printed your name. I was shocked when I saw it there as a writer.
It took me a long time to make the decision to write to you. I know that we didn’t part on the best of terms. At first, I thought you would cool off and come back to me like you did before. It’s been long enough that I imagine you won’t. And if that little child of yours is anything like you were as a baby, then I’m sure you feel you have all the family you need right there with you.
What I’m doing a terrible job of saying is that I’m sorry. I wanted the best for you, and as a single mother I felt it was my duty to do everything I could to make sure you never knew just how miserable I was or how much I worried about you. That translated into me pushing you toward the beauty pageant, in the hopes that you could become something better than either your father or I had ever been. My past was ugly and dark, and I wanted something different for you.
I can see now that all I succeeded in doing was making you miserable. I never considered your desires or feelings. I’m sorry for that, but I don’t know that I could have changed it. Even if you were to come running back home right now, I’m not sure that I would behave any differently. Old habits die very hard. I’m glad that you were finally able to point it out to me in a way that made me understand, but I wish it hadn’t torn us apart like it did.
I can see from your articles that Snake is still with you. I pretended plenty of surprise at first, but really, I knew it could only be that way. He went to great lengths for you, and it sounds as though he’s still doing that. He’s also doing a much better job at it than I ever had. Please tell him thank you for me, and that I’m sorry for getting him arrested. Now that he has a child of his own, perhaps he will understand.
It shames me to know that the newspaper knows where you live but that I don’t. I had considered hiring a private investigator to find you. Not to try to convince you to come back or to do any of the other things I had tried to get you to do, but simply so that I knew. Instead, I decided this was the better route. It’s not as thrilling, I’m sure, as the letters from your devoted readers.
And they really are devoted, Bambi. You were always popular in Myrtle Creek, but now more so than ever. Papers are selling so fast they can hardly keep up, and they had a news article about the stunning rise in their online subscriptions. It’s all because of you; I know it is. Don’t be surprised if they ask you to come speak at a local event sometime soon. The Peach Festival is coming up in a few months, and I’m sure they’d be thrilled to have you.
If you do find your way back here sometime, I’d love to see you. Snake and the baby, too. I understand if you come right by our old street and keep on driving, but I really do miss you. I want so much to hold my granddaughter in my arms for just a moment and to see you now that you’re happy. Just think of me, dear, because I’m always thinking of you.
Love,
Mother
Snake finished with the letter and set it back down on the counter. “Are you all right?” he asked softly.
I braced myself against the counter. “I don’t know. I just—I hadn’t really been thinking about her since we moved here. I’ve been so involved with the house and the baby and school.” A wave of guilt fell over me. I knew I shouldn’t feel bad about it at all. Mother had been horrible to me; she had admitted it herself.
“That’s okay,” Snake assured me, wrapping his free arm around my waist and pulling me close. “You were doing what you needed to do, and nobody can blame you for that. Besides, your mom was pretty much the worst. Even she didn’t expect you to keep in contact with her.”
I pulled in a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to keep myself from crying. “Yes, I suppose that’s true. But I think I’d still like to do something about it.”
“Are you sure?” Snake looked dubious. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, no matter what she or anyone else tells you. We don’t know what frame of mind she was in when she wrote that letter, and it’s possible she’s changed her mind again.”
“I know.” It was true. Mother vacillated like a fan, and I was fully prepared for that after my last encounter with her. “But I don’t want to stay over here and just pretend she doesn’t exist. That isn’t going to help me, and I want to be a good role model for Ariel. She needs to know that we don’t just avoid our problems.” I stared at my sweet baby girl in Snake’s arms. She meant the absolute world to me, and I would do anything for her. Maybe, to a certain extent, I could understand my mother’s actions just a little bit more.
“Do you think you can do this?”
I nodded, looking up at him and smiling. “I can. I know I can, because I’ll have you with me.”
“I won’t leave your side for a second,” he promised.
“And I’ll have Ariel, too. I have someone to protect besides myself now, and that will make all the difference.”
“If you’re sure.” Snake watched me carefully, still uncertain about the whole idea.
“I am. But we’re not going to do it right away. I don’t want her thinking I’ll come running at her beck and call. Not to mention the fact that the Myrtle Creek Library has already asked me to speak to young women at an upcoming charity even they’re hosting in two months. That will be the perfect excuse for us to go.” I hadn’t yet accepted the invitation because I hadn’t wanted to think about what it would be like to go back home, but now I knew that it would all work out. I had an excuse to be in town anyway, and I would have my bodyguard in the form of a biker.
Snake pressed his lips to mine. “You’re something, you know that?”
“I have a good influence. Now, then. Are you heading back out to the garage for the rest of the day?” Now that I had made up my mind about the situation, I wasn’t interested in talking about it anymore. There was no time in my new life to dwell on things.
He tipped his head to the side and ran his eyes up and down my body. “I thought about taking a ride, actually. The weather is finally warm enough, and it isn’t too windy today, so I wanted to get the old bike out of the garage. However, I’m thinking I’ve got something else in mind.”
“What’s that?” I never knew what to expect out of him, but in a good way. Snake was always surprising me with something new, whether it was something simple like a nice long back massage or the beautiful vin
tage car he had purchased for me.
“Come upstairs, and I’ll show you.” He led the way out of the kitchen and through the house, waving me up the stairs ahead of him.
“Why would I go first if I don’t know where we’re going?” I asked, smiling.
“So I can get a nice view from the back, of course.” When we reached the top of the stairs, Snake turned to the right and entered Ariel’s room. He settled her into her crib. She had already been falling asleep in his arms, and she snuggled into the cool sheets. Her little thumb went into her mouth, the rest of her fingers fanning out over her face, and she went to sleep.
Snake came back out of the room and shut the door quietly behind him. “Now I can do what I was wanting.” He came at me and scooped me up in his arms and threw me over his shoulder, carrying me down the hallway to our bedroom. He shut the door behind him with his foot and laid me gently on the bed. He climbed on top of me and kissed me hard and passionately.
“Well, well. I didn’t know you were in the mood,” I murmured as he trailed his lips along the line of my jaw and down my neck.
