“He’s been told,” Tally said, switching Darcey to her right side before her arm went dead. Darcey pulled a face, making her feelings clear about being moved around while sleeping. Fortunately, she didn’t wake.
“I can’t get my head around it,” Em said. “I mean, it’s like something out of a movie rather than real life.”
“Try being inside my head.”
“And Dozer kept this to himself the whole time.”
“Yep.”
“So when are you seeing her?”
Tally let out a soft sigh. “Tonight.”
“How do you feel?”
She grimaced. “Confused, angry. I can’t understand how she could have done it. I mean, why would she take something like heroin in the first place, especially when she had everything she could possibly wish for?”
“I can’t answer the why, babes, but heroin is a tough nut to crack. Remember Harry Roberts who was in sixth form with us? He came from a good family and had the brains to rival Stephen Hawking. And yet he went through shit for years before his parents finally got through to him.”
“I know, but Harry was a kid wanting to experiment. My mother was in her thirties. And she started taking drugs because she was bored. What kind of excuse is that?”
“It’s not an excuse, babes.” Em leaned over Darcey’s pram and fixed the covers, which the baby had kicked off. “Do you look like her?”
Tally shook her head. “She’s very different to me. Taller, thinner—much thinner,” she added with a wry smile. “Dark hair, brown eyes. She wears the years of drug abuse on her face. You can tell she’s been to hell, although beneath that, she’s still pretty.”
“Your brain must be spinning with it all.”
“I’m overwhelmed.” Tally swept a tired hand over her face as Em stood and slung her bag over her shoulder.
“Let’s go for a walk. You look like you need the fresh air.”
Em grabbed Darcey’s buggy and, rather annoyingly, managed to set the damn thing up with no trouble—something Tally still hadn’t mastered.
“A walk sounds good.” Tally carefully tucked Darcey into her buggy, relieved when she managed it without waking her. She grabbed a light jacket and her keys and waved her hand. “You’re on godmother duty.”
“I was hoping you’d say that,” Em said, her wide grin growing even wider. She clutched the handle of the buggy and wheeled it outside.
They weren’t too far from Holland Park, which was one of the main reasons Cash and Tally had chosen the house they were living in. While she missed the countryside surrounding their home in Northern Ireland, in London she had the best of both worlds—amenities close by and lots of lovely green open spaces on the doorstep.
They wandered around for a while with Emmalee constantly cooing over Darcey. Tally noticed a few odd glances from people who were probably trying to figure out why her face seemed familiar, but apart from that, they were left alone, although she remained conscious of a paparazzo with a long lens taking snaps that would go viral in hours.
“I need to get back,” Tally said when Darcey began to stir. “She’ll need a feed soon.”
“Do it here,” Em said, pointing to a bench beside the children’s play area.
Tally rolled her eyes. “Oh yeah. Lovely. My tits on display in the newspapers.”
Em laughed. “I’ll shield you with my jacket.”
“Not gonna happen,” Tally said. “Believe me, since being with Cash I’ve had my eyes well and truly opened about how crafty the press can be. I’m a journalist, and I love my profession, but there are some people out there whose job it is to follow around celebrities and wait for an opportunity to get a snap that will earn them big bucks.”
Em raised an eyebrow. “Celebrity, huh?”
“Not me, idiot,” Tally said, getting in a good dig with her elbow, which made Em groan. “But can you imagine how embarrassing that would be for Cash?”
Darcey’s grizzling had now progressed to full-on wailing.
“We’d better go, then,” Em said. “Before your delightful daughter’s crying punctures my eardrums.”
They hadn’t been back long when Cash arrived home, which Em took as her cue to leave. She and Cash shared an awkward half hug. Tally chuckled to herself. Those two vacillated between best buddies and worst enemies.
By the time Tally had seen Em out with a promise to call as soon as her mother had left, Cash already had Darcey in his arms. He was standing by the window, quietly humming to her. She was wide awake, her large blue eyes fixed on his face. Tally couldn’t blame her. She’d found herself doing that hundreds of times, both before she’d ever met him and many times since.
She rested her shoulder against the doorframe and watched the two of them, her heart swelling with love and pride. So many women out there were stuck with useless fathers for their children, or blokes who scarpered the minute they heard the patter of tiny feet. Yet there she was, lucky enough to have snared a guy who was not only seriously hot and talented but could also win a prize for dad of the year.
“Spoiling her again?”
Cash glanced over his shoulder. “Yep.” He cocked his head, signalling for her to go to him. She wandered over, slid her arm around his waist, and leaned her head on his shoulder.
“Nervous?” he said.
“A little.” Tally sighed. “But she wanted to see me, so I’m going to let her do the talking.”
“Good idea.” Cash moved away to settle Darcey in her Moses basket. Once satisfied she was comfortable, he turned around. “Come here, baby,” he said, holding his arms out.
She didn’t need a second invitation. He wrapped his arms around her, his embrace warm and solid—he was her rock in the middle of a stormy sea. As he rubbed her back and stroked her hair, she gradually began to relax, her shoulders retreating from underneath her ears to rest in a more normal position.
She caught sight of the clock on the wall. Two hours until she would come face-to-face with the woman who had abandoned her twenty-two years ago, choosing drugs over her own daughter.
Nerves swarmed her stomach. What if Meredith sucked her in, gave her hope she could have a mother who cared, and then broke her heart all over again?
38
Natalia leaped several inches in the air when the knock at the door finally came. Cash briefly touched her arm, and his quick squeeze seemed to settle her.
“I’ll get it,” he said, sharing a quick glance with Pete. Cash had managed to catch up with Pete earlier without Natalia overhearing. To say Pete hated Meredith—whom he insisted on calling Martine—was an understatement. The look on his face when he spoke about her reminded Cash of his own expression when he was on tour and had to face a reporter he particularly abhorred.
He arranged an impassive expression on his face as he opened the door. Natalia’s need to give this woman a chance to explain didn’t negate the fact that Martine had walked out on her own child. If she was hoping to make an ally of him, she was going to be sorely disappointed.
“Come in,” he said.
Martine thrust a Hamley’s bag towards him. “I bought this. For the baby.”
The phrase shove it was on the cusp of his lips, but he accepted the gift. “Thanks,” he said in a tone that was anything but grateful. “This way.”
He waved her ahead of him. Her footsteps seemed incredibly light for someone who was going to have to try to explain to her daughter why she’d abandoned her, but when her gaze fell on Pete, she froze.
“I thought it was going to be just us,” she said, her eyes darting between Natalia and Cash.
Cash brushed past her, leaving Meredith standing in the doorway. He sat on Natalia’s left and clasped her hand, noticing how stiff her fingers were and the rigidity of her spine. He gently brushed his thumb over her knuckles, something that usually soothed and relaxed her, but not today.
“Natalia wanted him here, so he’s here. Problem?”
“I don’t suppose so,” she said, her
steps wooden as she crossed the threshold. “Peter.”
Pete nodded curtly. “Martine.”
“It’s Meredith now.”
Pete gave a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You can try to pass a lion off as a cat, Martine, but it’ll still rip your throat out at the first opportunity.”
She blanched, and her hand fluttered to her neck. She closed her fist around a pendant on a thin silver chain.
“I know what you think of me,” she said, directing the comment at Pete. “But a lot of time has passed since we last saw each other. I left Martine behind a long time ago.”
“Habit of yours, is it—leaving people behind?” Pete said.
“I was glad to leave you behind,” Meredith hit back.
“Stop it,” Natalia said softly. She turned her gaze on her mother. “Sit down, Meredith.”
Relief flooded Meredith’s face, and she did as Natalia asked. “Thank you for agreeing to see me.”
“Let’s get some ground rules agreed on, shall we?” Natalia said, her voice much stronger than Cash had expected, given her tense body language.
She pointed at Pete. “This wonderful man here took me in after Dad died. Clothed me. Educated me. Let me cry on his shoulder. Supported me financially and emotionally through university. Even gave me my first job when I graduated. He’s done nothing but be there for me, so whatever goes on here today, the first time you badmouth him, you’re gone. I won’t hear one word said against him. Is that clear?”
“Yes.” Meredith’s voice was barely audible.
“And you,” she continued, locking her gaze onto Pete. “Quit the needling. And stop calling her Martine. If she wants to be known as Meredith, then respect that.”
Pride surged within Cash. Whenever he thought Natalia might need propping up, she always proved him wrong. What a woman. Both he and Darcey were the luckiest people in the world. He vowed, right then, to make sure his daughter grew up knowing what an amazing mother she had.
“I’ll try,” Pete said.
Natalia flashed him a sharp look. “You’ll do better than try,” she said as she reached for Cash’s hand and settled back on the sofa. Her fingers were much less stiff this time. Taking control seemed to have steadied her. “Why did you come here the other day?” she said to Meredith.
“I wanted to see you.”
“Why now?” Natalia shot back. “Why after all these years?”
“How much has he told you?” Meredith said, cocking her head towards Pete.
“Everything,” Natalia said.
“Then you’ll know your father threatened to kill me if I ever came near you again. I believed him, and I wouldn’t have blamed him. I deserved it for the way I behaved.”
“My father has been dead for ten years.” Natalia winced as the words spilled from her lips.
“I didn’t know that. I only found out a year ago that he’d died.”
“So why not come then?”
Meredith’s shoulders fell. “I was scared. It took me that long to pluck up the courage to decide to find you. This isn’t easy for me.”
Cash bristled. Isn’t fucking easy for Natalia either. He was on the verge of speaking his mind when Natalia’s grip on his hand tightened—a warning to shut the fuck up.
“I understand that.” Natalia paused. He could almost see her brain ticking. “Why didn’t you tell me who you were when we spoke at the hospital?”
Meredith gave a tight smile. “I don’t know. I almost did, when I said I was visiting my granddaughter. But then I lost my nerve.” Meredith glanced around. “Is she here? Can I see her?”
“She’s with my mother,” Cash said, suddenly thankful Natalia had agreed with his suggestion, even though she hated being separated from Darcey.
“Yeah. Her actual grandmother,” Pete muttered.
Cash’s lips twitched. His relationship with Pete had always been a difficult one, but at that moment, they were on the same side: Natalia’s.
Meredith appeared to ignore Pete’s jibe, but the faint tinge of red that bled into her cheeks told Cash she’d heard.
“Maybe another time,” she said.
“How long have you been clean?” Natalia asked.
“Seven years.”
“No relapses?”
“None. I’ve really kicked it this time. And I’m not going back.” She shuddered. “Never.”
“How can you be sure?” Natalia said.
Leaning forward, Meredith rested her forearms on her knees. “If you’ve never been addicted to drugs, it’s impossible to understand how they consume you. Nothing else matters. The only thing you think about is how and when you’ll get your next fix and how incredible it will feel when you do. I’m not excusing what I did. Nothing can excuse the way I behaved, how badly I treated you and John, but there’s no way I’m ever going back to that life.”
A tear slid down Meredith’s cheek. Cash caught Pete rolling his eyes, clearly unimpressed with the show of emotion.
“I did love him, you know,” Meredith said. “In the beginning, he was my whole world, and when you came along, I thought my life was complete.”
“But you soon got bored, right?” Natalia said, a hint of bitterness leaking into her voice. “I mean, it’s so dull being a wife and mother, isn’t it?”
Meredith winced as Natalia’s intended barb hit its target. She reached into her bag for a tissue and dabbed at the corner of her eye.
“I was young and stupid. Always looking for excitement, something to make me happier. If only I’d realised I already had everything I needed to do that.”
Natalia snorted. “I’ll give you stupid, but I’m not accepting youth as an excuse. You weren’t a teenager. You were a grown woman in her late twenties with a husband and a child. Older than I am. If you’re going to try to explain, at least be honest.”
Meredith seemed to crumple, her body curving in on itself. “You are so like your father. Even though John and I were the same age, he was light-years ahead of me when it came to maturity.”
Natalia’s expression softened at the comparison to her father, but Pete was unmoved, his face stoic. “You always were a commanding manipulator, Meredith,” he said, his voice heavy with sarcasm.
“Stop it, Pete,” Natalia said in a firm tone.
Pete’s head snapped around. “Don’t tell me you’re buying this crap. You’re a better judge of character than that.”
“I didn’t say I was buying anything,” she said. “But I invited Meredith so I could hear her side. Please, I need to do this.”
A slew of emotions flashed across Pete’s face, and then he sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said to Meredith, although Cash could have sworn he was grinding his teeth through the apology.
Meredith responded with a glimmer of a smile. “I can’t thank you enough for taking care of my daughter when I didn’t. I never said that. I should have.”
“Well, you have now,” Pete said gruffly. “And she was never any trouble.”
Natalia laughed, a genuine hearty laugh that thawed the room. “You liar. I brought plenty of trouble, but you dealt with it beautifully.”
“You told me you were an angel as a teenager,” Cash said, diving on the opportunity to keep the mood light for a few moments more.
Natalia gave him a grateful look. “We all have our secrets, ace,” she said, briefly touching her head to his.
“I’m not here to ask for forgiveness, Tally,” Meredith said. “I don’t have the right to ask you to forgive me. I have to earn that right. All I want is the opportunity to do that, but I don’t want to cause trouble between you and Peter.”
Natalia locked eyes with Pete, and a silent conversation seemed to pass between them. Eventually, Pete blew out a heavy breath and inclined his head.
“Would you like to come for dinner on Friday night?” Natalia said to Meredith. “Cash’s mum will be here. It would be good for you two to meet.”
Meredith’s eyes widened, and she clasped her palms to her
face. “I’d love to.”
“This doesn’t mean everything’s okay. We’ve got a very long way to go, and who knows if we’ll ever get there. But like you said, you want a chance, and I’m willing to give you that.”
Meredith sagged back in the chair and began to cry. “I don’t deserve it,” she said through her tears. “But thank you. Thank you so much.”
Once more, Cash’s chest swelled with pride. Natalia’s capacity for forgiveness astounded and humbled him. He’d been on the receiving end of her generous spirit, so he could at least empathise with Meredith.
“Let’s leave it there for tonight,” Natalia said. “Although I’m sure I’ll have more questions.”
“Of course. Anything you want to know, just ask.” Meredith stood and picked up her bag.
“I’ll see you out.”
As soon as Natalia left the room with Meredith in tow, Cash looked over at Pete. “Thoughts?”
Pete scrubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t know. She seems different. Like she said, she’s going to have to prove herself, but I’ll tell you one thing—I’ll be watching her every fucking move.”
39
Tally opened the front door and burst out laughing. Rupe was standing outside, wearing a foppish grin and holding a teddy bear almost as big as he was.
“Thought I should bring a date,” he said.
“You lunatic,” she said, tugging him inside.
It had been a good idea to invite Rupe and Em as well as Rachael that night. Although she’d had a couple of conversations over the phone with Meredith, they’d been understandably strained, and sometimes she ran out of things to say. Her mother was still a stranger, after all, and would be for some time to come. Rupe would add much-needed lightness to the evening, and Em would use her keen radar for judging people.
“Where’s my girl?” Rupe said, kissing her cheek.
“I take it you don’t mean me.” Tally cocked her head. “Your goddaughter is in there.”
Grand Slam: A Winning Ace Novel (Book 3) Page 21
