by Ponce, Jen
His eyelids swept down. “You are mine, indeed,” he said, instead of answering, and I kicked him in the shin. Hard. He cursed at me.
I smiled. “Let’s go.” I formed the hook in front of us but Tytan caught my arm.
“Where?”
“To the Slip. I only have a few hours and I can’t waste them figuring out how to make Nex Archaeon.” I tapped my temple then pointed at my fleshcrawler friend. “The Rider was speaking through him. Nex thinks that his being my Archaeon would protect him.”
“It would,” Tytan said, almost absently.
Ha!
His gaze slid to me. “What?”
I blinked in what I hoped was wide-eyed innocence. “Nothing. Let’s go.”
“The Rider was inside him.”
I nodded.
“Shit.”
“Yeah. Got that. And the other thing. Let’s go, we’re burning Earth hours.”
I stepped through the hook and was engulfed by a foul smelling miasma that slicked over my skin, wrapping itself around my arms, legs, neck, chest, like an insidious constrictor. I opened my mouth and it crawled inside me, choking me. I struggled, tossing my head, squirming, but couldn’t dislodge it. Worse, it found its way into my nose and I knew I would die, the crap filling me. Somewhere I heard a woman laughing and knew Amara was behind this. I choked, gagging. Still it filled me, pushing its way down my throat, expanding, a blinding pain that made me thrash. I knew I should stop struggling, that I was losing more air because of my panic.
Then the tugging began, deep within my guts. I couldn’t scream; I had no air and no way to push the sound from my body. My head banged and throbbed, my sight dimming. The yanking grew more insistent. I felt like I was being hollowed out, stripped from the inside, scoured by razor-wire.
The thing rasped up through my throat, and then Tytan tackled me. We went down together, my body slamming against the spongy ground of the Slip , my head bouncing and then he straddled me, his hands at my throat. I thought he was choking me and used what little strength I had left to try to make a protection bubble. It failed with a shimmery pop of sound before it even stretched partway across my body. His face was contorted like he was yelling at me but a scream of sound in my ears kept me from hearing a word of it.
A light flashed around us as my vision dimmed. My heart worked harder and harder and then it just seemed to quit.
ELEVEN
“Devany.”
Someone was patting me on the cheek. Hard. Anger filled me and I slammed my hand into whoever was touching me, adding magic to back up my strength.
Tytan went flying across the room and slammed into the wall. His mirror that he’d first used to show me a picture of Nex when he was still a fleshcrawler and not a pegnon, fell off the wall and shattered.
Nex bobbed well away from me.
I was shattered like that mirror. Nothing in me felt like me. I was hollow. Raw. Torn free of my moorings.
I thought I should be scared. Upset, maybe. But I just felt cold.
I watched as he pushed himself off the floor, his usual smile not playing on his lips. Watched him and wondered how he would retaliate.
“Devany.”
“Tytan,” I said, mocking him.
“She took your soul.”
It occurred to me I should be shocked. Pissed. But the anger that had filled me when Tytan was touching me didn’t return. I shrugged. “So?” I stood, brushing off my ass and feeling lighter, like someone had shaved a good twenty, thirty pounds off me.
This time he did smile. “Oh, now this ought to be fun.”
There were things I had to do. Important things. At least my old self had thought they were important. Whatever urgency I’d felt was no longer inside me.
Nex floated over to me, his entrails trailing behind him. He circled me twice before affording me a smile of his own. “This is a disturbing development. One with unforeseen consequences. However, it may be to your advantage.”
No longer human, Neutria said with satisfaction.
I was truly Skriven. This had been what Tytan had felt like before taking Jasper into himself.
The freedom was an incredible feeling. I could do anything I wanted without any emotional consequences.
“Amara is an idiot.”
“Indeed,” Nex said. “She did not understand the ramifications of stealing your soul.”
I laughed and spun in a circle, my arms wide as if embracing all the possibilities. Then I stared hard at Tytan. “How much does Jasper limit you?”
He looked surprised. “A lot.”
“We need a Formless One. To get him out of you.”
“Devany, I will be forced to challenge you if he is removed from my body.”
I bared my teeth. “Cyres wasn’t your soul.”
His eyes widened. “Yes she was.”
“No. The harmonics were off.” At his look, I guessed he didn’t know about the music that I could hear when a Skriven and his or her soul were in close proximity. “When Jasper and Ellison were close, I could hear a harmony. It was beautiful. But when you and Cyres were close, the sound was discordant. Awful.” I paused, debating whether or not I should tell him about his mother. I guessed I had no choice. “The goddess at Tempest Peaks is your mother. She holds your true soul.”
He laughed but it trailed off into silence as he took in the information. I realized, as I watched him put it together in his head, that I could take on Jasper’s soul. We wouldn’t need a Formless One. I could hold it.
The spider inside me grew, stretched, filled me fuller than she ever had before. No room for anyone else. We are complete.
Tytan had the thought the same time I did. He didn’t even suggest I take Jasper. Instead, he said, “Let’s go find ourselves a Formless One.”
“And then we hunt down Amara.”
Nex made a noise and I turned to him. He said, “Archaeon Tezryo?”
Right. “Tytan, give me your knife.”
He materialized it and I made a slice in my forearm. It hurt but not in the same way it would have before. This was like cutting into an arm that had been numbed by painkiller. I knew it was happening and felt my skin open up, but it didn’t hurt.
Hell. It kind of felt good.
Tytan caught my shiver.
Why exactly had I been afraid of him? To Nex, I said, “Drink.” Then I looked expectantly at Tytan. He said the words and I repeated them. A surge of energy pulsed around us and I could see my magic encircling him. “You made me your right hand woman not to use me but to protect me. Why?”
Tytan shrugged. “Perhaps I was in love with you.”
“Right.” There weren’t any feelings of love inside me. I could remember the feelings but trying to conjure them up was impossible. I’d have to fake it for my kids. Fake it, because right now it felt too good to be without the guilt, the fear, the heavy emotions both good and bad. The nagging voice that kept me from doing terrible things, that told me what I was thinking or doing was wrong, that voice was gone. It was silent inside my head. Except for the spider exalting.
“Let’s go pay Amara a visit.”
Nex floated to me, his lips stained with my blood. “It might be more circumspect to defeat her from the ground up, so to speak.”
I arched a brow. “Do tell.”
“You already have one of her spawn. And yours ripped another of her offspring into pieces. Perhaps it would not take much to divest her of more than just two.”
“The bloodless basketball is right,” Tytan said. “Spawn strengthen the Originator. The more of hers you acquire ...”
“The stronger I get and the weaker she gets.” I shut my eyes and sent out a call to my spawn. It was easy to see them all now without my soul in the way. How had I not known how stifled I was?
They came immediately to my call. Most. Not all. I noted the color, texture, and sound of the Skriven who did not return to me. One of them burned bright orange. That one was Ellison and he could not return. I had trapped him
on Midia for his crimes.
“Why do you call us?” This from Kali, she of the many arms.
“I have a favor.”
She stared at me. “You no longer have a soul.”
“Nope, thanks to Amara. Now I want to make sure she pays for it. I don’t suppose any of you would like to do some recruiting?”
Several of them exchanged glances. One said, “Perhaps you are no longer wanting to uphold your bargain with us.”
“It still stands. You bring me souls of those already dying, not souls you steal. In return, you have access to Source. And no torture,” I added, almost as an afterthought. Though the idea of torture didn’t make me feel squirmy inside as it had before.
“Then perhaps we have already been spreading the word about you. Many spawn wish to make the same deal.”
I turned to Ty. “Do you think it will upset the balance of the Slip, or fuck the world if I take these spawn?”
He shrugged. “Do you really care?”
I thought about that for a moment. I guessed not. “Fine. Where are they so that I can talk with them?”
She held up a finger. In seconds, Tytan’s manse was filled with more Skriven than it could hold.
“Bigger Devany,” Ty murmured, looking like he was thoroughly enjoying himself.
I pushed with my mind and it grew, damn did it grow. When it was big enough to hold them all I asked, “How many of you would like to have a new leader?”
An uproar. Kali held up her hands and shrieked. The noise about burned off my ears. Silence fell.
I reiterated my deal. Made it clear I didn’t want them to torture and/or murder anyone to get their soul. “I also vow not to hurt any of you. Pain doesn’t amuse me and doesn’t interest me.” A slight lie there, but I didn’t say it aloud. “I’ll even release you if you find my leadership unpalatable.”
More noise. I let them have at it and leaned against the wall with Tytan.
“I like this new Devany.”
I snorted. “You would.”
“Jasper is quite upset.”
Jasper had been a good, kind soul. Seriously too good for Tytan. Too good for me. “If he wants to be upset, tell him to glower at Amara.”
“Any actions you take right now you will most certainly regret when you retrieve your soul.”
“Probably. So I’d better enjoy myself.” I eyed him then straightened from the wall. “Does anyone have a Formless One?” Several of them twitched. One actually raised his hand. “Will you allow me to use it?”
“Of course.”
I tipped my head. “I do not wish to take it from you. What do you want in return?”
He looked so startled I laughed. Really, this was all quite amusing. At least I hadn’t lost my sense of humor.
“I wish only to serve.”
I asked Ty, “What should I give him in trade?”
“Normally, a Formless One would grant me a few days’ worth of unregulated Source from Ravana. If she was having an on day. Now that you’ve granted them free access ...” He shrugged.
To my spawn I said, “Thank you. I appreciate the gift. If there’s something I can help you with in the future, let me know.”
He bowed his head and disappeared, I presumed, to grab the vessel.
In several minutes the noise died down and one blue-skinned creature stepped forward, its body shining with scales. “We will come to you. Let it be so.”
One after another, they began murmuring the same words. Out of the corner of my mouth I whispered, “What do I have to do?”
“Accept them all.”
I turned back to them and a wave of magic knocked me back into the wall.
“Oh, and brace yourself,” he said, desire coloring his words.
Yeah. Tytan had a power fetish.
Their collective strength filled me and filled me. It wasn’t the same as the nasty ick that Amara had shoved into me. It wasn’t like my soul. This was vibrating, pulsing energy that pricked me and made the fine hairs on my arms stand at attention. Electrified. Like grabbing a high voltage power line.
Then the wave of power exploded outward, vibrating the floor underneath me and the walls around me.
Silence.
Then there was a strong tugging sensation in my abdomen and the Skriven scattered, leaving Tytan and I alone.
High. This was what it felt like being high. I buzzed. I hummed. I wanted to fly. Lifting into the air, it was like the feeling I’d had long ago when I’d first visited Midia to pick up lodestones, but that moment paled in comparison to this one.
I snatched the front of Tytan’s shirt in both fists and yanked him to me. He didn’t even seem surprised and didn’t hesitate to kiss me in return. His strong hands were on my back, pulling me close, one leg parting mine as he maneuvered to press me tight against the wall. I burned with him, his heat sinking into my skin, into my bones. I made a noise deep within my throat. A growl. I would take him now when I couldn’t before because my conscience stood in my way. I had no such barrier anymore. Except.
I pulled away from him, his grey eyes dark with desire. Wrong color, I reminded myself.
I turned my head to see a mannequin-like thing standing in front of me. Lucy had had human features even before I’d given her a name but this thing was truly a blank.
“Do it,” I ordered, wanting him to be as free to enjoy me as I was him.
“I’m not sure how.”
I could though, couldn’t I? I’d yanked the soul free from Ivy in order to shove it into Ravana and kill her. I could do this. I sunk down into myself and reached out with my magic. The soul inside Tytan didn’t want to be caught and it was slippery. Jasper, I reminded myself. Jasper was slippery. Still, I managed to snag him and yanked, hard. I tossed him at the blank and opened my eyes in time to see the grey of his soul wash over and get soaked into the very skin of the Formless One.
Jasper collapsed on the ground. I walked to him, interested in seeing if the blank would form itself to Jasper’s face or if it would retain its expressionless shape.
The flesh warped, rippled.
“He will have to impose his will on it and that will take time.” Tytan’s greedy eyes were on me. “Come. Leave him to it and let’s go do something to satisfy this itch I’ve had since first I knew of your existence.”
He tugged me away. I said, “Nex, will you keep an eye on him? Make sure he stays put and doesn’t do something stupid?”
“Of course, Mistress.”
“Don’t do that. Friends, remember?”
Again, he inclined his head. “Always you do me the honor.”
“Nex, seriously. It’s what friends do. I got your back, you have mine.”
As Tytan tugged me from the room, I heard Nex mutter, “Such a curious concept.”
Tytan did not take me to a bedroom, as I expected, but to the basement. It wasn’t an Earth basement. This stretched into the dark, its cavernous depths both endless and oppressive. Water dripped somewhere in the darkness. The whimpering cry of a living creature. A moan.
“What is this place?”
“Come.” He led me into the blackness. I couldn’t see with my eyes but I could with my Magic Eye. The place was crawling with broken energy, sparking, crackling in jagged lines. Ragged, colorful shapes flared and receded, some human, some monstrous, with belches of reds and yellows pouring from them.
He stopped in front of a cell carved into the rock. That I could suddenly see didn’t surprise me. The witch balls sitting in pockets on the wall glowed as we neared. There was a human inside the cell; I could read the signature easily. That’s what I used to look like, I thought to myself.
Like prey, Neutria said with relish.
As the glow brightened, I could make out a man blinking at the light. “Harrison.” The memory that had been niggling at me returned full force. “We killed Marco Rivera together, didn’t we?”
“Not quite. I killed him and you watched.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I didn’t re
member any of it until now.”
He shrugged. “You asked me to help you forget, so I did.” He caressed my face with his long fingers.“Do you remember how you felt when you watched him take his last, tortured breath? How you felt when he begged for his life?”
Exultant. Satisfied. The memories came in flashes. A feeling there, a picture here, like an off-kilter montage.
Tytan circled me, looking predatory. “He’s here because I was hoping you would kill him with me this time. If that never happened, then I still wanted him here, rather than down on Earth making trouble for you. He would have found his way to your door eventually.” His eyes darkened. Even in the low light I could see that they were back to his rich reddish brown. “Torture him. Draw out his death. Tease it from him bit by torn bit.”
“Ravana tortured you and you hated her for it.”
“Still do. However, I never did anything to her like this man did to his wife. Your friend. Would you like to see more, now that your delicate sensibilities are no longer in place?” He held out his hand.
Also something I would regret. I put my hand in his anyway.
***
Harrison Perkins didn’t die, but he wished he had. Instead, he lay in his cell, bleeding and broken. My hands were bloody and my conscience clear. Tytan had showed me what he’d done to Danni and to other women before her. Death was too good for him.
I stood under a stream of warm water that splashed over the lip of a black rock in a nook that reminded me of the Dreaming Caves. Sort of. This place looked like it was made to wash blood off dirty hands. The Dreaming Caves were a place of sacredness. I didn’t feel sacred.
I did feel satisfied, though.
Every cry I wrung from Harrison had sent a bolt of pure pleasure through me. Now I knew why the Originators asked their Skriven to torture the souls before they paid their tribute. The thought of it would have sickened the old me, the one with the soul. Now I felt a vague sense of unease that I would come to regret my actions here today, but that unease was easy to push away.
Hands touched my skin. More blood, diluted by the water, streamed over my body and swirled away down a black metal drain. It was strangely erotic, the hot fingers, the pink-stained water, the man in agony a few feet away. I leaned into Tytan’s hard body, enjoying the feel of him naked against me. He’d said it would happen and I had vehemently denied it. And now, here we were.
