Julian rubbed his hand over his eyes. “I needed a dad. I needed to know who I was, other than some bastard kid with a hippy mom who lived on the beach like a gypsy. It doesn’t instill a lot of confidence.”
His mother wouldn’t hear any of it. “You have always been confident. Look at you now! Everyone’s holding their breaths to see what you’ll do next. That other stuff’s just in your head.”
He pulled away. “You don’t understand.”
“I understand,” Mr. Kyser said. This time he did put his hand on Julian’s shoulder. “This doesn’t make up for the past, but now you know the truth. I’m glad you know, and I want you to feel like you can come to me for anything.”
“Whatever.” Julian shook his head. “I don’t want a handout from you.”
“I don’t just mean money. You’re an interesting kid, Julian, and I’ve never regretted being your dad. I wish I could’ve handled things differently.”
“I’ve got to go.” Julian caught my hand. “C’mon, Anna.”
“Wait!” His mother stepped toward him.
“No!” I had never seen Julian so angry. “You just stay here. With him.”
He turned and stalked out, me right behind him.
“Give him some space.” I heard Mr. Kyser saying as we left the house.
When we got to the car, Julian stopped. I waited facing him until he reached forward and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me to him. I held his waist tightly, and I could feel him trembling.
“Are you okay?” I asked softly.
He nodded.
“What do you want to do?” I said, still holding him.
His voice was thick. “I don’t know.”
“Are you mad at me?”
He kissed my head, squeezing me again. “No. Those two can be pretty intimidating.”
I squeezed him and stepped back to see his face. “I love you.”
He nodded then glanced up at me. “Where does that leave my brother?”
My nose wrinkled. “That’s kind-of weird, huh?”
“Not as weird as Lucy being my sister. Jesus, that was close. And dammit! They knew the whole time.”
“I’m not defending them,” I started cautiously. “But they were concerned about that. Part of what they were talking about when I found them in the hospital was separating you two without blowing their cover.”
He exhaled and leaned against the car. “Why wouldn’t they tell me?”
I leaned beside him. “They’ve got a long story and pretty good reasons,” I said, wondering if they would tell him everything. “And I think your mom worried the truth might change you.”
“I’m glad she’s got so much confidence in me.” He stood and helped me into the car. “I don’t know. Maybe she’s right. Maybe if I’d known, I wouldn’t have worked so hard. Maybe I’d have ended up as lost as Lucy.”
He got in and turned us out of the flagstone drive onto the road.
“She’s not so lost now,” I said. “And at least your mom adores you. Mr. Kyser completely shut Lucy out.”
“I guess he can be a real jerk.” Then Julian shook his head. “I don’t know. That’s just what I’ve heard.”
“Maybe you should get to know him for yourself.” I was trying to tread lightly. “He loves your mom a lot, and maybe… it would’ve been different if they’d gotten together.”
We drove in silence a few minutes. Then he exhaled with a tight smile.
“What?” I asked.
“I guess I should’ve thanked him for this car.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
We were quiet again, and I decided not to tell him my role in the whole car-buying decision. I didn’t want to risk him getting mad at me again. Our fingers were entwined, and he turned mine over to look at my ring. Then he reached up and stroked my cheek.
“I guess I know who my dad is now,” he said. “And you’re wearing my ring.”
In spite of it all, a little thrill tingled in my stomach. “That was the deal.” My voice sounded shaky. My insides were a blend of relief he wasn’t angry, happiness we were together, and excited nervousness about what he was suggesting.
“I’m sorry I blamed you.” His voice was slowly returning to that familiar cocky playfulness I knew and loved. “Maybe you could come back to my house. We could kiss and make up?”
My heart jumped. “Sure.”
Chapter 25
We drove back to the small cottage on Crystal Shores Boulevard. It was dark, and he led me inside to his bedroom. I looked around. I’d been to Julian’s house a million times, but we’d always stayed in the garage where he worked. I’d never actually been back here. Sketch books were scattered around, and I walked over and opened the cover of one lying on the desk. It had figure drawings that I recognized as a few of his larger sculptures. A popping noise from the other room distracted me, and soon he was back handing me a bubbling glass.
“I’ve kind of given up alcohol for the duration—” I started.
“I know, but it might relax things.”
“Oh.” I nodded feeing a flush. “Right.”
I turned back to the book, carefully flipping the pages to a few sketches that looked familiar. “Is this me?” I asked, pointing in the book.
He leaned over and smiled. “Yeah. I’d get bored and start thinking about you.”
His words made me feel fizzy, and I took a big gulp, setting an empty glass on the side table.
He laughed. “Don’t chug it. I’d like you to be conscious.”
Then he pulled me to him, kissing me gently on the mouth. Heat radiated through my stomach, and I wished I’d taken another drink. I still felt nervous.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly.
I nodded and burped, and we both laughed a little.
Julian slipped off his shirt, and I lightly ran my finger down his chest to the round tattoo, where I spread my palm flat against his warm skin. At that, he pulled me to him and gave me a kiss before lifting my shirt over my head. I quickly removed my bra and reached around his waist to pull our bodies together, and his hands slid down my bare back, causing me to shiver.
“Cold?” he whispered kissing my shoulder.
“A little,” I whispered back.
He led me to his bed and lifted the covers for me to climb in. I slid under them as he unfastened his pants and slipped them off, and for a second I admired the lines on his chest leading down past the ink on his side, down the center of his stomach, all the way to…
He quickly slipped in next to me and pulled me under him, covering my mouth with his. Every part of my body was hot, and my nervousness melted into something else as he kissed a trail from my neck down to my chest, pausing to run his tongue around my most sensitive parts. A little sound came from my throat. I was acutely aware of all his touches. His hands unfastened my jeans, and I quickly helped him take them off along with my panties. I’d never been completely naked with him before, and it was thrilling.
He leaned away for a second, reaching inside his drawer. I saw the square packet and understood what he was doing when I heard the rip. Then he was back. His lips closed on mine again, and my body pulsed inside and out.
“I’m going to try and make it not hurt so much,” he whispered.
I didn’t know what he meant, but he was gone again. And the next thing I felt were light kisses on the inside of my thigh. He pushed my legs apart and my heart leaped as his lips moved higher. When his tongue lightly touched me, a burst of pleasure shot through my entire body. An irresistible building sensation tightened below my waist. A few seconds more, and I was gripping the sheets.
Everything changed in an instant. Pleasure rocketed through me, shuddering my limbs, and as soon as it happened Julian was back, pushing inside me. It did hurt, like ripping a scab off before it’s ready, but my body was still trembling from the intense high I’d just reached. It wasn’t as bad as I’d expected, and he slowly began pushing harder. The pain grew a more intense, and I bit my li
p to keep from making a sound. I had to get through this. He kept moving, and I could tell he was doing his best to be gentle. A shudder passed through him as he struggled with restraint.
I tried to adjust my position, rotate my hips, find a way to help him, but he gasped a noise in my ear each time I moved. His pace increased, and my eyes closed. A groan came from his throat, and for several moments he held me tightly, then he relaxed. I wrapped my arms around him, and our hearts beat together, our breath swirling quickly in and out.
His body was less tense as he moved to lie beside me. “Are you okay?” he whispered.
I nodded.
“Hurt too much?”
I looked down. I didn’t want him to feel bad. He quickly rose on his side and looked into my eyes, and I rolled on my side away from him. I didn’t want him to see me cry.
“Anna?” He put his hand on my shoulder.
I couldn’t stop the tears then, but I didn’t really know why I was crying. It hadn’t hurt that bad. Not bad enough to cry. Julian pulled me onto my back, and I rolled my face into his chest.
“What’s wrong?” he asked softly.
“I don’t know,” I sniffed. “I just… it hurt, and I don’t know. I thought… maybe it wouldn’t.”
“What?”
“I just… I love you, and it was you and me, and I just thought…”
“That I’d be freakishly small or something?”
“No…” I started to giggle through my tears. “You are not small.”
“Thanks.”
My hand shot forward into his stomach. He grunted a laugh, and then we both started laughing. “You set me up for that.”
He laughed again and rubbed my back. I slid my arm around his waist, tears forgotten.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said, kissing my shoulder. “I was hoping it might be less painful if you… you know. Went first.”
“That was amazing,” I lifted my chin to look at him.
He smiled. “It gets better. I promise.” He kissed the tear off my cheek.
“Really? Because up to the end, it was really great.”
Just then I felt a trickle between my legs.
“Oh! Let me out!”
He stood up quickly, and I raced to the bathroom. I jumped on the toilet, but I was afraid I’d waited too long. It only took a few wipes for the bleeding to stop, but then I realized I was stuck in the bathroom with no clothes. I looked around, on the shower door, under the cabinet, but all I could find was a hand towel on the sink. What was this? Laundry day?
I grabbed it and held it in front of me as I walked back to Julian’s room. The small towel only covered my lower half, and when he saw me, he grinned.
“Um… you missed a spot.” The approval in his voice made my stomach tighten.
“Close your eyes,” I whispered.
“No way,” he said, propping on his elbow. “You’re beautiful.”
My arms readjusted so I could cover my breasts. “You’re embarrassing me.”
“Why? It’s the truth.” He sat all the way up and pulled me to him, moving my arm. “Maybe I could sketch you like this.” He kissed my ribs, working his way higher, as my breath caught.
“Right,” I gasped, sliding my fingers into his soft hair. “And someone would find it, and I’d die.”
“I wouldn’t let anyone find it.” He pulled me back into the bed, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, our chests pressing together in that luscious way.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I think I might’ve messed up your sheets.”
“Don’t worry about it.” His lips pressed to mine briefly. “I’ll take care of it.”
He was kissing me slowly, as if he were taking little tastes. I couldn’t believe I was warming up again, but I was.
“Do you think it’ll hurt again?” I asked.
The edge in his voice only fanned my growing flames. “Want to find out?”
I nodded and he kissed me long and deep as his hands slowly moved down my body. Somehow I got the feeling this would never feel anything but fantastic, ever again.
Light was streaming through the window when I opened my eyes. Julian was asleep beside me with his arm across my waist. I didn’t know what time we’d fallen asleep, but the biggest problem was it was morning and I wasn’t at home. I sat up fast.
“Julian! Wake up!” He stirred groggily and pulled me back down to him. I struggled to get out of his arms. “Wake up, Julian. My mom’s going to freak out if I’m not home.”
His voice was a sleepy complaint. “Didn’t you leave a note?”
“Yes, but it said I was with you and I’d be back soon. What do you think she’ll think if I’m not back and it’s morning?”
“We’ll make something up. Stop squirming!” He kissed my neck as his arms tightened around my waist.
“Julian! I’ve got to get home.” I tried pushing him off me but he was too heavy, and I couldn’t help laughing.
“See?” he said, continuing his trail of kisses. “You don’t want to leave me.”
I held his neck and kissed him back. “I don’t, but I have to get home. They might still be sleeping.” His lips were weakening my resolve, but I had to be strong. “If they think we’re up to something, they’ll make it harder for us to see each other.”
“In that case…” He let me go instantly and sat up, grabbing his jeans from the floor and jerking them on. I reached under the covers to find my panties. My jeans were on the floor, too. I pulled them on and my shirt.
“Maybe we could say I had to spend the night because your mom was sick,” I said, thinking.
“No good. Why was she sick? And what if your mom offered to bring her food or something?”
I nodded, poking my lips out. “You’re right. Why did I leave the house with you?”
He stopped moving and stood straight, seeming to consider this. “Well, I’d just found out Mr. Kyser was really my dad, and I freaked. You left to comfort me, and I ended up deflowering you. Several times.”
A charge raced to my toes. “Julian! Get serious.”
He laughed. “C’mon. Let’s see if they’re even awake. Then we’ll figure something out. Your mom likes me, remember?”
“I wouldn’t press my luck if I were you,” I breathed, dashing through the house.
It was before nine when we reached my house, and shockingly no one seemed to be awake.
At the door, I turned back to him. “You’d better go. I’ll call you later.”
He pulled me in for another long kiss. I slipped my fingers into his hair, thinking how fantastic and wonderful and special we were together. He straightened up and looked into my eyes. “I love you.”
My stomach flooded with butterflies. “I love you.”
He smiled and slipped out the door as I turned back to face… an unbelievably quiet house. I couldn’t believe I’d managed to get in and out without notice, but just then I heard my dad coming down the stairs and panicked.
“Anna?” Dad’s brow furrowed. “You up already? And dressed? What’s going on, honey?”
“Uh… Dad?” My voice was too high. I cleared it. The only story in my head was Julian’s deflowering one, and I couldn’t tell him that. “Well, I was here and then… I uh…”
He kept walking into the kitchen and stopped at the counter. “We’re out of coffee?”
God in heaven. “Yes! And I thought it would be a good idea if I went and got some, but I forgot my purse.”
“What’s this? A note for Mom?”
“Oh, yeah,” I quickly grabbed it off the bar and crumpled it into a ball. “I thought she might get up and wonder where I was. So I’ll be back in five, and we can all have some coffee. Want me to get a go-cup for you?”
“That’s okay, I can wait.” Then he grinned. “I’ll just crawl back in bed with Mom.”
“Right. Well, nobody wants to hear about that!”
“Ah, grow up, Anna.”
“Bye, now!”
I ducked out
the front door and leaned against the wall of the carport for a half second, exhaling as my heart rate slowed back to normal. Last night had been too crazy even for me, and that was just beyond close.
Chapter 26
It seemed all of Fairview was in the drive-through waiting for coffee, but I didn’t want to go inside. Sitting in my car, the realization washed over me: I was free. The Secret was out. The letter was back with Mr. Kyser, Julian had confronted both his parents, and best of all, he wasn’t mad at me. Far from it.
With a happy flush, I remembered his hands on my body, his lips. Then I remembered my hands on his body and his reaction. Leaning forward, I placed my forehead on the steering wheel and closed my eyes. At one point in the night he’d held my face in both his hands, looked deep into my eyes, and told me he loved me. My stomach did a little flip again.
Grabbing my phone, I had to call one person immediately.
“An-nAH!” Gabi’s voice sang out.
I held the phone away from my ear and winced. “Did you just sing my name?”
“Sidney and I are working on a video in which I am the diva Lady G.”
“I don’t even know which question to ask first,” I laughed. “Is this for school or funniest home videos?”
“Neither, and you can hold your applause to the end.”
“That might be a long hold,” I snorted. “Gabi. You don’t sing.”
“Off the record,” her voice was overly dramatic, “I’m lip-syncing, but it’s my scandalous secret. Don’t tell. It would ruin my career if it came out.”
“It’s in the vault.” I leaned out the window and ordered a pound of coffee to go as my best friend continued.
“Seriously, what’s up?” she asked. “I haven’t heard from you in a month.”
I took a deep breath and told her. “I did it.”
“Did what?”
“It.”
“Holy shit!” she screamed. “Was it Julian?”
“Of course.”
“Was it great?”
I giggled. “Of course.”
“Oh my god! Details, details!”
Watercolor (Dragonfly) Page 19
