“Now, that’s just annoying,” she said, causing him to smile. The sight of it, fang-free, took her breath away.
He glanced toward the darkened building behind hers. “Aren’t you afraid someone will see me up here? Word is spreading that there are humans working with vampires. Your neighbors might get the wrong idea about you.”
“That building is empty. Everyone either wiped out by the virus or they moved away from the city. Even the owners died, so I don’t know if it’s even safe now. Ownership may be wrapped up in court.”
She crossed the room to the door next to the tiny balcony, knowing she was safe from Campbell as long as she didn’t invite him inside. She gestured toward the brick building. “It’s things like all those empty apartments that make me so angry. After humanity took a bigger hit than it ever has, there’s plenty of space for the homeless. But either the buildings are not safe or the owners are greedy and won’t allow anyone to live in the space for free.” She shook her head at the waste. “There are some shelters, but not enough and they don’t have enough funding. They’re crowded, dangerous, run low on food and supplies.”
“Maybe things will change,” he said. “It really hasn’t been that long since the world got turned on its head. People are still in shock.”
Being this close to him should have scared her, but it didn’t. He couldn’t hurt her. And if it weren’t for the bright blue of his eyes in the half-light, she wouldn’t have been able to tell he was a vampire. Feeling silly talking on the phone to him when he was only a few feet away, she started to open the balcony door.
“Olivia, no!”
She halted and met his gaze. “You can’t come in unless I invite you, right?”
He hesitated, staring at the crack in the door as if it might lead to eternal damnation. Finally, he nodded.
Her heart beating faster, a fact of which he was most certainly aware, she opened the door a little wider and pulled one of her dining chairs up next to it. She ended the call and slipped the phone into her pocket.
“You’ll get cold,” he said.
She smiled. “I have blankets. I’d offer you one, but I know you don’t need it.” His gorgeous expanse of chest that first night had shown her that. Her skin flushed at that memory, and she had to shove away a fantasy about running her hands over all that taut, muscled skin.
He shook his head and looked out into the night when a metallic bang sounded in the distance, most likely an animal scavenging in the alleys for food. She watched as he assessed any potential threat then relaxed.
“Are you always cold?” she asked.
“I would be to the human touch. We don’t really notice it after a while.”
“But you do at first?”
He nodded, and she didn’t think he would elaborate.
“That’s the oddest part of the transition, feeling the heat slowly drain out of your body. That and feeling your heart slow until it finally just stops.”
“You felt yourself dying and were awake for it all?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s horrible.”
He shrugged. “What’s done is done. Just have to make the best of it.” He stared at her for a long moment. “Why are you talking to me?”
She held his gaze as she thought for a moment. “I like you. Despite the fact I know you could kill me in the blink of an eye, my instinct tells me you’re a good guy. At least as much as you can be. A few days ago I would have never believed that was possible.”
“What changed your mind?”
“When you came back to apologize, how concerned you’ve been for my safety and that of the other people on that list. You probably don’t even realize how many times you’ve scanned the area for danger just since you’ve been sitting on the balcony. I don’t care what superpowers vampires have—I don’t think that can be faked that well.”
He stared at her for so long that she grew uncomfortable. “What?”
“No one ever sees that. Granted, humans being killed by vampires and left in the streets made it impossible to believe that some of us aren’t all bad.”
“You all are so powerful. How did you stay hidden so long?”
He received a text and replied before answering her.
“Centuries ago we weren’t. That’s how all the stories about vampires got started. But the Imperium eventually set up strict laws about feeding and revealing ourselves. That’s when V Force, or the Guard, as it was called then, was started, the enforcement arm of the Imperium. It’s how we ensured our survival.”
“Did the Imperium change the laws when Bokor hit?”
“Not about revelation. But when you have a limited food supply and too many vampires falling into bloodlust, it became impossible to keep them all in check. The feeding laws did change after the blood banks were established. It’s illegal to feed from a human now.”
“And your job got a lot more difficult.”
He nodded. “Staying fed and keeping ourselves under control became a lot harder.” He glanced at her before looking away with what looked like shame on his face. “Still is sometimes, despite the blood banks.”
“None of us knows what we’d do if we were starving until it happens,” she said. “Humans have killed for food, too.” The full force of that truth didn’t hit her until she said the words, making her realize that on that one thing humans and vampires were similar.
“That’s different.”
“Is it? There’s brutality in survival, for every species.”
He was quiet again for several seconds before finally saying, “I guess.”
They fell into silence and she glanced up at the rising full moon. Though the city that used to never sleep lay quiet, it was nice to know some things never changed. The sun still rose each morning. The wind still blew. And the moon still made its way through its phases month after month.
“Who did you lose?” Campbell asked, his voice quiet.
She shifted her gaze back to him.
“The person who started the food delivery to the homeless,” he said.
The old pain that never entirely went away stabbed at her. She would have guessed she wouldn’t have wanted to share that information with him, but she found she wanted to talk about Jeremy. He’d been on her mind even more the past couple of days. Maybe it was her too-close brush with death, or the fact that for the first time since he’d been gone she was feeling attraction toward another man. And to her, no matter what Mindy said, Campbell was a man. He was no longer just a mindless animal.
She took a deep fortifying breath. “His name was Jeremy. He ran a charity that accepted donated meals from restaurants all over Manhattan, food that would have likely been thrown away at the end of the day, and delivered it to the homeless all over the city.” She bit her bottom lip when she felt it tremble, then met Campbell’s eyes. “He was my fiancé.”
Chapter 10
Fiancé. Olivia could have been married by now. It shouldn’t bother him, but it did. And then he hated himself for thinking it because she’d obviously lost someone she loved. He had a hard time getting the next question out.
“Vampires?”
She shook her head. “The virus.” She blinked against the tears shining in her eyes.
Why had he mentioned it, this memory that brought her pain?
“He died the day before our original wedding date. He was so upset we had to change it, but I told him it was okay. We’d get married after he got better.” She grew quiet, lost in the past.
“But you knew he wasn’t going to get better.”
She nodded. “He couldn’t see what I did, that the disease was ravaging his body. But it was important to let him believe he’d get better. He was always such a positive person, and I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing that die, too.”
“I’m sorry, Livvi.”
She looked up at him with a confused expression. “What did you call me?”
He had to think about it for a minute. “Livvi.”
; “No one has ever called me that. Liv, yes, but not Livvi.”
“I won’t if you don’t like it. I didn’t even think about it, but it fits you.”
“No, I like it.” She smiled a little, and it made his unbeating heart swell. He could sit here and just look at her all night. Each time she smiled, it transformed her from beautiful to breathtaking. He wanted to tell her that but kept his mouth closed. No matter how open-minded she was becoming, he doubted she wanted to hear such a thing from a vampire.
“You and Jeremy, you were together a long time?” He didn’t really want to know the answer, but he remembered Sophia’s words. He and Olivia could never be more, but they might be able to be friends. He hadn’t realized until that moment what having a friend who was still human would mean to him. He felt an unusual ease with her, as if he could say things he could never share with his team. Things he’d never realized he wanted to share.
“Only a year. It was one of those things where you just know it’s right almost from the moment you meet.”
Campbell forced down the thought that he knew exactly what she was talking about. He and Olivia, that wasn’t right at all, no matter how much he might like to see if it could be otherwise.
“For a long time, I couldn’t believe he was gone,” she said. “I kept thinking I’d wake up and it would have all been a long horrible dream.” She clasped her hands together in her lap, making him wish he could reach through the doorway and hold them in his own. But that invisible barrier of nonconsent was stronger than steel and concrete as far as he was concerned.
“The day after he died, I sat on my couch with my wedding dress in my arms and stared out the window for hours. Part of me wonders if I wouldn’t still be sitting there if Mindy hadn’t forced me back into the land of the living. So I hung my wedding dress in my closet, unable to give it up. I know this sounds silly, but I still take it out sometimes and stand in front of the mirror with it. Imagine what my life would have been like if the pandemic had never happened.”
His heart broke for her. “I don’t think it’s silly at all. After my parents died, I thought everyone was lying to me, that Mom and Dad were going to walk in and tell me it’d all been a misunderstanding. But they never did.”
“But one day you realized that they were really gone and not coming back,” she said, verbalizing like no one ever had how it had felt.
“I can’t even remember when their deaths went from being impossible to reality.” He picked at the chipped paint on the balcony railing. “Sometimes I’m glad they’re not here. They didn’t have to see what I became, what the world turned into.”
She didn’t give him false assurances that they would have been okay with his turning, and he was thankful for that.
“Listen to us,” she said with a little half laugh. “We’re beginning to sound like a therapy session.”
“Nobody’d believe it even if they saw it with their own eyes.”
She glanced at him before lowering her gaze to where she was now picking at a cuticle on her thumb. “It’s nice, isn’t it? Talking like this.”
He hesitated for a moment. “Yeah.” It was more than nice, but he kept the extra feelings, ones he didn’t quite understand or trust, to himself. He didn’t think it was the vampire within him trying to cultivate a food source, but even after the years he’d lived as a creature of the night he wasn’t sure he fully understood that side of himself.
Whatever the reason, being near Olivia calmed the edge that was his constant companion while also exciting the man who still existed within the vampire. He imagined lying next to her, doing nothing but feeling her warmth soak into him. He longed to be human more than he had in a long time. Wished he could go back, undo so many things.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, no doubt the team wondering where in the hell he was and if he planned to work tonight. He looked at the display and noticed it was Colin calling. “Excuse me. Duty calls.”
“No problem,” Olivia said. She stood and headed toward the little apartment kitchen.
He barely kept himself from calling her back. Instead he put the phone up to his ear and stared out across the surrounding neighborhood. “Yeah?” he said in answer.
“Are you babysitting diner babe?”
“Don’t call her that.”
“Oh, touchy.”
“Did you have an actual reason for calling?”
“We just ran into your buddy Rico. He said he might be onto something and that he’d let you know soon.”
“He say what?” Campbell asked.
“We weren’t exactly in a spot where he could talk freely and not seal his fate for being a snitch.”
“Where are you?”
“Blood bank. Kaja was getting snappy, and Len threatened to toss her out of the back of the truck if she bit his head off one more time.”
“Where are you headed next?”
“As soon as she’s done feeding, Kaja is going to get all dolled up and work the crowd at the new club in Tribeca, some swanky place. Travis is going with her. Word is it might be Nefari owned. Puppy’s going to the skate park, see what the other puppies are saying. Rest of us are patrolling.”
Campbell glanced at Olivia’s back where she stood at her sink, drinking a glass of water. He imagined stepping up behind her, nuzzling her neck, nibbling her ear, leading her to bed.
“Hello, you still there?” Colin said.
“Yeah. I’ve got a couple of places I want to check out. I’ll meet you guys back at the cave in the morning.”
“You okay, man?”
“Yeah. Good.”
Colin was silent for several beats, enough to drag Campbell’s attention away from Olivia.
“Whatever you’re doing, whatever you’re thinking, just remember there’s more at stake than your undead life if you make a mistake,” Colin said.
“I know.”
Which was exactly why he needed to get off this balcony and stay away. But despite what his common sense was telling him to do, he didn’t move. After hanging up the phone, he sat and waited for Olivia to return to her seat, to where he could talk to her, watch her graceful movements and imagine he wasn’t her worst nightmare.
* * *
Olivia knew she needed to go to sleep or she’d be dead on her feet the next day, but she couldn’t find the strength to end the conversation with Campbell. Sitting and talking to him made the night not seem so long or lonely. She realized that she’d been fooling herself for a long time, telling herself that she was fine living alone, that she had plenty of enjoyable things to fill her time. So many good books to read, movies to watch, sweaters to knit for the same people to whom she delivered meals.
But it’d all been a lie. She did enjoy those things, but they also were a way to trick herself into believing she wasn’t desperately lonely. Not lonely for friends but for romance, for someone to hold her, for love.
She swallowed hard at the thought that she couldn’t have that with Campbell either, not if she valued her life. Not if she valued his.
When she returned to the balcony doors, he was gone. But then she noticed him atop the opposite building. His attention was focused on something she couldn’t see, and chills scurried down her arms at the thought of vampires prowling the streets right outside her home.
She sank into her chair just as he dropped out of sight on the other side of the building. He hadn’t even said goodbye. Well, what did she expect?
She sighed and closed her eyes. Without him to talk to, fatigue tugged at her with more insistence. She forced herself to stand and reached for the sliding glass door to close it. Campbell landed on her balcony, causing her to yelp in surprise.
“Sorry,” he said. “Thought I’d be back before you were.”
She glanced past him. “Where did you go?”
“To take care of some business.”
She noticed a rip in his shirt and figured that business had included a few fists being thrown.
“Are you okay?” he as
ked.
She looked up and saw him watching her. “Yeah, just tired.”
He shifted as though he was going to leave again. “Go to bed. I have to get back to work anyway.”
“Okay.” She paused, wondering what else and how much to say. “I’ve enjoyed talking with you.”
His expression changed to one of disbelief, but he hid it quickly.
“Sorry if my chattering on has kept you from your work,” she said.
He smiled, making her go a little gooey inside. “We keep apologizing to each other.”
“Sorry.” The moment after she said it, she laughed. “I think I’m getting punchy.”
“Perhaps a little,” he said, teasing.
Maybe it was her fatigue, or maybe it was the way he was looking at her, but all kinds of images of the two of them together flooded her mind and caused her body to warm.
His eyes widened almost imperceptibly. She still didn’t believe vampires could read minds, but she suddenly realized that he could probably read every little change in her body. Heart rate, scent, temperature.
“You have another long day tomorrow,” he said as he shifted his gaze to somewhere beyond her. “Close and lock the door, and get some sleep.”
She wanted to ask if he would come back the next night, but that sounded too needy. So she just smiled and grasped the edge of the door. But she couldn’t close it when her eyes met his. He took a step toward her then stopped.
“Lock the door so I can go,” he said.
She knew he was watching out for her safety, but instinct told her there was more to his words. And she wanted to see what it was. With her heart beating fast, she stepped through the doorway onto the balcony.
“Olivia, stop,” he said as he took a step backward. “Go back inside.”
“I don’t want to.”
“You’re not safe out here. Please go back inside.”
“Kiss me and I will.”
She saw the war going on inside him reflected on his face.
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” he said.
“You’re wrong.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, but then he pulled her to him and lowered his mouth to hers. The intensity of the kiss, the hunger fueling it, stole her breath. A momentary shot of fear was swept aside by a swell of desire. She ran her hands up his back and let him deepen the kiss. Her body flooded with warmth in the same moment he growled and broke the kiss. He set her away from him.
Out of the Night (Harlequin Nocturne) Page 12
