by Sara Orwig
She would see Blake on Sunday—that knowledge kept her pulse beating faster. Part of her was eager to see him, while another part of her wished she could put off seeing him for years. She didn’t want to see him while keeping this secret and she didn’t want to have to break the news to him because it would turn his world upside down.
She debated what to wear, how to fix her hair and how much to pack. Finally, the next morning, she dressed in a red linen suit with a matching silk blouse and high-heeled pumps. She combed and clipped her hair up at the back of her head.
The commercial flight to Dallas seemed short. Blake was home and knew she was coming, so there was a plane waiting to fly her to the ranch.
All too soon, they landed at the ranch airstrip. As it taxied to a stop, her pulse beat faster, eagerness now intermingling with dread. She didn’t want to tell Blake. In the next few hours his entire future would change, and she didn’t think he would be happy about the prospect.
She placed her hand defensively against her stomach. She’d had some time to get accustomed to the fact that she would become a parent. At some point after the initial shock, joy had enveloped her. She was going to have a baby. Another grandchild for her parents. Her family would give her all the love and support she would need.
A baby in her life—the thought was scary, but joyous. She had taken care of her little nieces and nephews, and she loved being with them. She had a great support network and a job she loved. No matter what happened with Blake, she would make her new little family work.
When she stepped out of the plane, a warm, dry gust of wind hit her. Blake stood waiting at a car and walked toward her. At the sight of the tall rancher, her heart thudded.
A black, broad-brimmed hat sat squarely on his head, and as always, boots added to his height that was over six feet. He wore jeans and a blue plaid Western shirt. The sight of him kept her heart racing, and all she could think about was telling him that he would be a father.
She was torn between wanting to walk into his arms and kiss him, or blurting out that she was pregnant with his baby.
Before she reached the last two steps on the plane’s stairs, his hands closed on her waist to lift her up and set her on her feet on the ground.
“Someone will get your things. I’ll drive you back to the house,” he said, taking her arm lightly and walking back to hold the car door open.
Once inside, he turned to her. “You look gorgeous, Sierra,” he said quietly.
“Thank you,” she answered.
“I’m glad you’re here. When the new wing is finished, I want to have a party. You can invite your family, and I’ll invite mine. I want them all to see what a great job you’ve done.”
She smiled at him. “Let’s wait and see if it really is a great job.”
“Cade wants to have their family home done over. He’ll give you a call.”
“Blake, I’m out of that business, remember?”
“He’s not going to offer what I did, but I think he’ll make a generous offer for your Kansas City agency, as well as your fee.”
She had to laugh as she shook her head. “I may make more money for the agency by sticking with interior design than I ever did seeking donations.”
Conversation went from one topic to another, and she barely paid attention because all too soon she would be home with Blake and she would have to tell him her news.
The minute they walked into his house, tempting odors of hot bread and roast beef reached her. “Etta must be cooking up a storm.”
“Etta cooked and has gone. We’re alone,” he said, turning to slip his arm around her waist and draw her close.
She had promised herself she would show some resistance to him this time, but the minute he touched her and she looked into his brown eyes, she couldn’t tell him no. She leaned into him, as he pulled her closer and kissed her.
She was lost in his kiss, swept up in desire that made her tremble. At the same time a pang hit her. If only they had love in their relationship, how wonderful the next few hours would be. The best news in the world was a baby when there was love and a union of two people who wanted to be together the rest of their lives. Instead, the news would be an earthquake hitting his life.
His arms tightened, and he held her close with one arm while his other hand caressed her. He took the clip from her hair, letting it fall over her shoulders.
“I wasn’t going to do this,” she whispered, not caring whether he heard her or not.
“I was—I’ve dreamed of this moment since the day I told you goodbye in Dallas. I want you in my arms, in my bed. I want to kiss and touch you, love you for hours. I’ve dreamed about you every night you’ve been gone,” he whispered, and her heart pounded.
“Why do we have to be so different?” she asked, agonizing over what was coming and the monumental differences between them.
“Differences that dazzle me,” he whispered. “You look fabulous. I’ve missed you,” he added. Under other circumstances, his words would have thrilled her, but now she worried his feelings toward her would change with her news. She didn’t know how angry or unhappy he might be. She was certain he wouldn’t welcome it with joy.
His kiss drove all her worries away. She was swept up in desire, wanting to hold and kiss him, feeling as if this might be the last time. Even so, she knew she couldn’t hold in the news any longer.
In minutes she leaned away to look up at him. “Blake, wait a moment. We should talk.”
“There isn’t anything as important as kissing you,” he whispered, brushing her lips with his. She pushed against his shoulders lightly and stepped out of his embrace.
“There is something as important,” she said. He stared at her a moment and nodded, and she knew she had his attention.
She had put off telling him as long as she could. Standing by the window as the sun slipped below the horizon, she faced him. He sat in a leather chair, his booted feet on an ottoman as he looked at her. “Something’s worrying you. What is it? Can I help?”
“You can help,” she said quietly. “Listen to me, be patient and let’s try to cooperate.”
She saw the flicker in his eyes and knew he realized he was somehow involved in whatever worried her.
“I don’t know how to tell you except to just say it—Blake, I’m pregnant, and it’s your baby.”
SEVEN
Blake felt as if he’d had the breath knocked from him. Dazed, he stared at her. “I’m going to be a dad,” he said. He hadn’t meant to say it out loud.
“Yes, you are. We have a long time to sort things out and decide what we’ll do, so all you need to do right now is get used to the idea. It’s a big, unexpected shock,” she said, sitting quietly and letting him think.
“I used a condom every time,” he said, more to himself than to her. He had gotten Sierra pregnant. They would be tied together for the next eighteen years. They would never view life the same way, but he was certain she wouldn’t want to marry him any more than he wanted to marry her.
But how else would he be the kind of father his own never was?
He raked his fingers through his hair and stood, going to the kitchen and getting a beer, more to move around than to have something to drink. He walked to a window to gaze outside. The daylight was growing dim and night was creeping in, changing the landscape.
He knew he would never forget this moment. He was going to be a father. The idea shook him. He had dimly thought that someday he would marry, someday he would have a family, but it was in the distant future, a fuzzy prospect that had held no reality for him until now.
He was going to have a baby. When he glanced at her, Sierra sat looking at her fingernails, remaining quiet while he absorbed the news.
He was thankful for that. Thankful she wasn’t in tears or yelling at him or asking him what they would do. He focused more on her and wondered what she thought. She had already known about this. She looked calm, poised, and she had obviously adjusted to the idea. He thought of
her big family and knew she would have their support. Blake realized if he walked away now, her family would be there for her.
Not that he intended to walk away or abandon her. He thought about his father. He would never be a father like the one he’d had. He wouldn’t abandon or reject his own child, not ever. There was one way to put himself in his child’s life forever—marry Sierra. That seemed to be the only solution to being a real dad to his child.
Blake’s gaze shifted back to Sierra who looked up, giving him a level stare.
He crossed the room to face her. “You caught me by surprise.”
“I knew I would. There was no way to avoid that.”
“You’re very calm about this,” he said, looking into wide blue eyes, and he realized she had passed the point of shock and was thinking calmly about the situation.
“It won’t help to get hysterical,” she said.
“Damn straight on that. I’m thankful you’re not.”
“We’ll have to make decisions and work things out, but we don’t have to do anything right now except adjust to the idea. I think we should take a little time before we start trying to figure out what we’ll do.”
“It all looks simple to me.”
“Blake,” she interrupted, shaking her head. “Don’t propose.”
“I don’t see why not,” he said, startled that she wouldn’t even discuss marriage. “You know your family will want us to marry.”
“None of them will if they know I don’t want to. You and I are opposites. I don’t like your work, and you don’t like mine.”
“That’s nine to five, and we can get around that,” he said, surprised she let their jobs be the reason for rejecting what would be best for their child. “Our jobs will have little to do with life at home,” he said.
“For us and our chosen fields, it has everything to do with life at home. I may want to foster kids or find homes for more dogs. We’ll work something out, I’m sure, because we’re both willing, but it isn’t going to be marriage.”
Shocked, because she seemed so firm in her refusal, he stared at her. “I want to be part of my child’s life,” he said, trying to hang on to his temper.
“You will be. I promise. I want you to be. But that doesn’t mean we have to be married.”
“Damn, Sierra.” Once the idea had presented itself, it hadn’t occurred to him that she would reject his proposal, at least not under the circumstances. She sat calmly facing him, her long legs crossed at the ankles and her hands in her lap. She looked composed and determined. He suspected he was going to find out how strong-willed she could be.
“You don’t want to marry. You made that clear,” she added.
“My life has changed since I said that. I was single and not expecting to become a father. I want to know my baby, to be with him or her every day I’m not away for work. There is no way I’m going to be the father that mine was and abandon my child. I can promise you that,” he said, determined that he would not let her stop him from being the father his child needed. “I want to take care of both of you. The easiest way to do that is if we marry. If we try, we can make marriage work.”
“This is a knee-jerk reaction, Blake. We don’t have to decide today, this week or this month, so let’s consider the possibilities. I know you want to be a dad to your child, and I want that. I want to be a mom to our child. We don’t have to marry to be parents, or even to be good parents.”
“You’re not being sensible,” he said, his gaze running over her.
“I’m not being sensible?” she snapped, her eyes narrowing. “I’m the one being the most sensible. We’re opposites, Blake. Marriage won’t work. We’re not in love.”
“Marriage can be a partnership. It’s something we can work at. We can get along. If we share a child, we can probably get along even better than now.”
“I can’t believe you’re saying that,” she said. “You’ve dedicated your life to increasing your fortune because you want to get back at your father. You’re concentrating on competing with him just to ruin his business. That’s revenge.
“Revenge drives you, Blake. Not love. Meanwhile, I’m trying to save people. I’m not marrying someone who is driven by revenge for childhood hurts. I’m sorry for what you went through, but there’s a better way.”
“That may seem foolish to you because you had an abundance of love and attention, but having a father abandon you hurts, Sierra, and it’s the kind of hurt you never forget. It’s not a silly childhood notion.”
“I know that, but you’re grown now. Move on and do some good in the world,” she said.
“I believe you have a very sizable check from me that will do some good. Don’t forget that,” he said.
She was being stubborn. They had a fabulous relationship, and if she would give it a chance, they could work out something that would give their baby both a mom and a dad.
“I only have that check because it was a bribe. You wanted me for this job, and you wanted me in your bed. You said you were attracted to me, and you wanted to see me again.”
“Yeah, I did. And you acted glad to take both checks I gave you, and glad to be in my bed,” he said.
Her cheeks grew red, and he suspected she was trying to hold her temper just as he was. She stood and clenched her fists. “I think we should call it a night and cool down. I have a lot to do tomorrow, and you’re leaving town. We can talk later, when you’ve had time to think about this.”
“I’ll think about it constantly, and I imagine you will, too. You might give some more thought to my proposal before you turn it down. Try to think of the baby—you shouldn’t turn down my proposal just because you don’t want to marry me. You’re not allowing our child to have both a father and a mother full-time, in a home we all share. And think of what I can provide, including my name. Marriage will make raising our child more convenient, more workable. Think about the baby you’re carrying before you reject my proposal.”
“I’ll do that, Blake. I have done that. There is nothing about a loveless marriage that would be good for our child! Look at us now—you think this would be good for a child to be part of our squabbling? I don’t think so.” She took a deep breath. “I think we’ve talked enough tonight. I’m going to my suite before we say something one of us will really regret.”
She brushed past him and hurried into the hall. Her back tingled because she felt his gaze on her as she left the room.
Anger and hurt filled her. Why had she ever been so wildly attracted to Blake? Worse, why had she succumbed to his kisses and then to his lovemaking?
Now there would be no way to forget him. She was tied to him for the rest of her life. Her anger grew. She had tried to be calm and reasonable with him. She had expected him to propose and to insist on her accepting. She had no intention of marrying a man who was building a hotel chain with the sole purpose of getting back at his father. In the privacy of her bedroom she paced the floor, not only angry at herself but that Blake wouldn’t stop and think before he started pushing for marriage. Yes, that had been her first thought, too, but if he would give the future some thought, she expected he would come to the same conclusion she had—they were not compatible out of bed, and they shouldn’t be married.
By one in the morning, she had given up on getting to sleep. She was exhausted and yet still angry when she thought about Blake’s stubborn insistence on marriage before he had really had time to think things through.
It was almost dawn when she fell asleep, and then she overslept. As she showered and dressed in green slacks and a matching cotton blouse, she hoped Blake had already left the ranch.
She soon found out from Etta that Blake had left for Dallas, and she didn’t know when he would return. Trying to concentrate on the tasks at hand and put him out of her thoughts, Sierra went to work. The sooner she could get his new wing finished, the sooner she could return to Kansas City.
As she sat at a desk with sketches before her, she paused, staring into space, remember
ing being in Blake’s arms, the laughter they had shared. They had liked being together—it almost made her wish they could make a marriage work—but there was no way she could get past his efforts to get revenge. That was a solid wall that would always divide them.
In spite of all common sense and absolute certainty that marriage to Blake would be a disaster, she couldn’t keep from thinking about him. He had a forceful personality, and the attraction between them, the electrifying appeal that made him unique, was irresistible. He could certainly turn on the charm, and they’d had a good time together.
With a sigh, she focused on the tasks for the day to try to move on.
Within the hour, she was lost in thoughts about Blake again. Common sense said she would get over missing him. That it was just a matter of time. Her heart was trying to tell her differently.
As the morning progressed, she kept busy, supervising placement of the new furniture and area rugs, the installation of the mirrors and new paintings. Blake was in California, and she talked to him briefly on the phone at night because of questions about the house. Each time she heard his voice, she felt a pang of longing that she tried to ignore. They were cool with each other, remote, as if there had never been intimacy between them, and she suspected when the calls about the house ended, she wouldn’t have any contact with him for a while.
Finally, they were finished. Blake was due back on Friday, and Saturday morning she, as well as Eli, Lucinda and the contractor, were going to meet with him to go over the rooms. She was certain any party Blake had planned earlier wasn’t going to happen now.
While it wasn’t convenient to move her things, she didn’t want to stay on the ranch with him after the work was done, so she stayed in the small hotel in town. In her hotel room, she looked intently at herself in the mirror.
At two months her stomach was still flat and her waist had not changed plus her five-ten height might be the reason she didn’t see any change. So far, she felt well and had not had any morning sickness.
She had rented a car to drive to the ranch tomorrow. She didn’t want to rely on Blake for anything—not transportation, food, lodging, companionship. Her anger with him was a constant feeling. She was certain he had not changed his mind in the least, and he would continue to insist they marry for all the wrong reasons.
