by Gail Sattler
He felt his cheeks heat up, so he knew he was blushing, which made him blush even more.
But Sarah didn’t laugh. Instead, her expression told him that she felt sorry for him. That was even worse.
On game night, a lot of the guys laughed outwardly about how besotted Stan had become, but Josh knew better. Most of them wouldn’t admit they wanted exactly what Stan had, and so did Josh. He was tired of pretending all was well, because it wasn’t. When all the activities were done and he was home for the night, it was only him and Rufus in his big empty house, and he was lonely.
“Never mind,” he muttered as he lowered his head, pretending to concentrate on the next page of the brochure. Admitting such a thing would make him look weak, and he didn’t want Sarah to think of him that way. He wanted to look strong and macho in front of her. Like the guys in some of those books she read and went all mushy over. Except that none of those guys were real. He was.
Sarah rested one hand on top of his. He looked down. Her hand was nice and warm, even cozy, but so much smaller than his. They were efficient hands. Not only did she calm nervous animals, she had to have a steady hand to perform surgeries on the animals.
He looked up into her face. That meant the woman was good with a knife—something he’d never considered about her before.
She smiled at him. “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s not just women who want to find that special someone. Men do too. After all, it takes two to make a couple. I can think of a few women who are around our age who are still single. I already told you I saw Bailey McCullough at the school today. I haven’t heard that she’s met anyone yet.”
He’d seen Bailey at Stan and Amber’s wedding, taking pictures. The woman was a whirlwind. He led a busy life, and he didn’t know if he could keep up with Bailey. “It’s a possibility. Who else?”
“What about Ronnie Sessions, who runs the cinema with her parents?”
“I guess I could give her a call. But since she runs the cinema, Friday and Saturday would be her busiest nights. I doubt she’d be able to take the time off, especially since we don’t really know each other.”
“Good point. Then what about Selena Short, Caroline’s daughter?”
“I heard her mother is trying to get her married off. I don’t know if I want that kind of pressure.”
One corner of Sarah’s mouth twitched. She nibbled her lower lip and cleared her throat. “What about Lara Casper from the bank?”
Josh shuddered. He couldn’t handle Crystal’s mathematics-oriented brain. He didn’t want someone else who lived in a world of numbers. “Pass.”
“Then there’s Rachel Myers.”
“She’s a little young for me. Besides, she’s going to college, and she’s only home on weekends. I need a commitment before Friday night.”
Sarah tapped one cheek with her index finger. “The last person I can think of is Tessa Rupert from the consignment store.”
Josh stared blankly at the wall, trying to remember something about Tessa. Unlike Rachel, she was his age, and he’d spoken to her a number of times at church and at garden club meetings. They’d never really hit it off, but at the time, he hadn’t been really looking. “I think Tessa is a good possibility. Do you mind if I phone her now?”
“Good idea. It’s getting late. You don’t want to wait too long. I’ll go sit in the living room to give you some privacy. And this time, I won’t fall asleep.”
“I don’t mind. I know you’re tired.”
Sarah grinned. “My little unplanned power nap did the trick. I feel good enough to keep going for the rest of the evening, but not energized enough that I won’t be able to fall asleep tonight. Take your time, but don’t take too much.”
Before looking up Tessa’s number, Josh watched Sarah walk out of the room. He hoped that Tessa was as understanding as Sarah.
Mentally, he made one more list of traits to be added to the list of what he needed in his Ms. Right, ran his finger down the list until he got to Tessa’s number, and dialed.
When Tessa answered, he liked the musical lilt of her voice.
He made a bit of small talk, but in everything they said, he could hear that she was wondering why he’d called.
He cleared his throat and stiffened, then told himself not to be nervous. Asking a woman out for the first time over the phone was certainly less stressful than doing it in person.
“I was wondering what you were doing on Friday night. An old college buddy and his wife work for one of my suppliers, and they’re taking me out for dinner to pitch a new product line. We haven’t seen each other for a few years, and this is a chance for him to put it on his expense account, so it’s a mixture of business and pleasure. I was wondering if you’d do me the honor of being my date for the evening.”
The silence on the other end of the phone was almost deafening. “I’m so sorry, Josh. Thank you for asking me, but I’m afraid I’ve already got plans for Friday night. Maybe another time, okay?”
“Sure. I’ll give you a call. Thanks.”
He hung up and sighed. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, but he’d felt almost relieved that she’d turned him down, which was insane because he needed a date for Friday night.
Sarah appeared beside him before he raised his hand off the phone. Although it felt like he’d been moving in slow motion.
“I take it that didn’t go well.”
“No. She turned me down.” In the back of his mind, he pictured being a third wheel with Stan and Amber. There was no way he would be able to sit there and watch that, especially when he wanted the same thing. Rob and Cassie hadn’t been married long either, so he expected the same thing out of them. He’d only met Cassie a few times, but he’d been roommates with Rob, and they’d become good friends until their busy lives made their communication less and less frequent. “It’ll be really awkward being a third person, but they’re only going to be here for one night, so I have to go.”
“I’m not doing anything Friday night. If you’re desperate, I can go with you.”
“Really?” Suddenly, the light in the kitchen seemed brighter. “That’s great. I think . . .” His voice trailed off as the thought pierced his mind that he should first call Tucker to ask his friend’s permission to date his kid sister. He didn’t know why, but when Tucker had cornered him while he waited to talk to Sarah after church a few weeks back, he’d gotten the impression that Tucker didn’t want him getting too close to Sarah. But everyone in the garden club knew he and Sarah saw each other often.
Inwardly, Josh shuddered. Tucker outweighed him by thirty pounds and ran faster. As an officer of the law, Tucker was trained to fight and win every time. Just in case they were on opposite teams when they played football next Monday, Josh decided to take the low road and not tell Tucker that he was taking his little sister on a date.
As he looked at Sarah, he realized that she had long ago passed that helpless little sister stage. In fact, now that he thought about it, looking at her from the perspective of a man taking a woman on a date instead of being her brother’s best friend, she fit every prerequisite on his must-have list for the woman of his dreams. Then again, everything he’d added to the list, he’d added after spending time with Sarah. Maybe this was why no woman he’d ever gone out with, or even just thought about going out with, ever really reached his heart. None of them could ever be Sarah.
The woman of his dreams had been in front of him all along—he’d just been wearing the wrong glasses when looking at her.
Her cheeks turned the most adorable shade of pink. “What? Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have broccoli stuck in my teeth?” Sarah covered her mouth with her hand.
He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. He straightened, stiffened to his full height, and stepped toward her. Gently, he wrapped his fingers around her wrist and nudged her ha
nd down, exposing her lips. Lips he wanted to kiss.
He’d never felt like this before. He felt strong and focused now that he suddenly knew what he wanted. It was like God had lifted a cloud from in front of his eyes, and everything became clear.
He moved a little closer, and Sarah backed up, but she only had a few inches between her backside and the counter. If he wanted to, he could have bent down just a little bit and kissed her.
And he did want to.
“What are you doing?” Sarah asked, her voice coming out in a squeak.
Her question jolted him like the blasting horn of a freight train. He dropped her hand and backed up.
What was he doing? This was Sarah. His best friend’s sister.
He’d seen her with her front teeth missing. He’d helped her learn to ride a bicycle. He’d taught her the right way to hold a baseball bat, and not to throw like a girl.
Josh ran his fingers through his hair.
She still threw a ball like a girl, and she was very much a girl. Two decades ago that little girl had a wild crush on him. It has passed. . . . This, too, would pass.
He didn’t know what had gotten into him, but fortunately, Sarah had given him a mental shake.
Josh backed up one more step and ran his fingers through his hair a second time. “Let’s forget about the order. It’s getting late. How about if we get together tomorrow at lunch time to go over it? My treat.”
Her eyes widened. “I guess so. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Even with all the conflicting thoughts warring in his head, instead of just walking her to the door, he walked her all the way to her car. For the first time, he stood and watched her drive away until her taillights disappeared around the corner.
Tomorrow would be another day. Tomorrow, everything would go back to normal.
Chapter 6
Dr. Faire? Josh is here.”
“Send him in.”
Sarah started to run her hands down her smock to smooth out any creases, but she froze.
Even if she looked a mess, it didn’t matter. Nothing could be done. She was at work, and if she looked like a mess, then she looked like a mess.
Yesterday, how she looked wouldn’t have made any difference, but today it did.
She’d lain awake most of the night, thoughts rolling around and warring in her head. She’d thought Josh was going to kiss her. If she hadn’t had a near-panic attack, he just might have.
Last night, she realized that she’d had the man of her dreams in front of her all along. She’d been judging every man she’d ever dated against the paradigm of her brother’s best friend, and every one of them had come up short. That was so wrong on so many levels.
Last night, when she’d made the offer to be Josh’s quasi-date, she’d thought nothing of it except for a chance to fill an empty evening. She didn’t know how they’d come so close together, but when she thought Josh was going to kiss her, all her teenaged dreams merged into her adult ones, and she realized she’d never truly outgrown how she felt about him when she was a little girl.
When she’d played with her dolls, she’d taken a felt pen and colored the boy doll’s hair the same color as Josh’s, and of course, he’d always been the husband. When she got older, but not much more mature, she’d embroidered hearts with his initials onto her clothes in hidden spots no one could see, but she knew they were there. She’d cut pictures of bridal gowns out of magazines and taped them over photos of herself, then taped pictures of Josh beside her. Until she left for college, her ultimate dream had been to go out on an exclusive date with Josh.
Now the thought of that very same thing becoming a reality suddenly terrified her. Yet, if she were to think rationally, this was exactly what she needed. She would either decide that the teenage crush she’d never really outgrown was exactly that—a crush—or she would decide if she’d truly loved him all along and never really gotten over it. Then the gloves would come off, and the battle would truly begin.
The hinge squeaked as the door opened. Grinning, Josh entered the work area of her clinic, carrying a bag from Bert’s Barbecue, Rufus at his side.
“I brought lunch. I hope you’re hungry. They had a two-for-one deal on Bert’s house special.”
She raised one hand without entering the small staff room. “Last night when you said you could come here for lunch, I really wasn’t thinking. We can’t eat in here. My staff room is very small, too tight for two adults and two dogs.”
One eyebrow quirked. “Maybe, but I’m starved, and I’ve got to get back to my store soon because I’m a person short again. I don’t mind squeezing together. I don’t have time to go someplace else to eat. Besides, I don’t want this to get cold.”
Squeezing together.
With her reawakened feelings for Josh so raw and pressed to the front of her mind, the thought nearly terrified her.
She cleared her throat, hoping he couldn’t hear her heart pounding. “I guess so,” she squeaked out, wanting to kick herself for not being able to keep her voice in control like a reasonable and allegedly mature adult.
But then her life around Josh had never been reasonable. Years ago, the pending possibilities of sitting too close to Josh would have inspired him making a number of bad jokes or sarcastic comments.
She gritted her teeth, waiting for the onslaught.
He walked toward the staff room door. “Let’s eat before my stomach does something embarrassing.”
Not that having a noisy stomach in front of her had ever bothered him before. However, if her stomach grumbled in front of him now, suddenly she felt like she might just die of embarrassment.
She led him into the small room, which wasn’t much bigger than her walk-in closet at home. Actually, between the one-person sized card table and small bar-sized sink in the corner, and what her staff called the world’s smallest loveseat, everything so squished together made her closet seem like a mansion. When Scruffy followed them in, there was less room than ever.
“I’ve never been back here before. It’s cozy.”
“If that’s a polite way of saying cramped, then you’re right.” Because of the size of the room, if anyone needed the table to eat, she’d purchased a folding chair. It wouldn’t work for them, however. Not with two adults and two dogs.
Without waiting for her direction, Josh plunked himself down on the loveseat and patted the space next to him.
Sarah remained standing. When she’d decided that it was time to see if having an adult relationship with Josh was a possibility, she hadn’t projected squishing up beside him.
Her heart raced, and her knees felt wobbly. She probably needed some time to calm her nerves, and she definitely needed more space.
Sara looked past the door through the window to the parking lot. “I think we’d have more room if we sat in my car with the dogs in the back seat. Or maybe we should take a short drive and go sit in the park.”
“No way. These sandwiches are going to get cold. Besides, I already told you, I don’t have that kind of time today.”
Sarah stiffened her back, sucked in a deep breath, and squeezed down into the small seat beside him, pressing against him from hip to knees. She didn’t like it. Her feelings were still too raw to deal with this.
She cleared her throat. “This is embarrassingly close. I don’t know how any manufacturer can ever claim this comfortably seats two people.”
Instead of squishing himself against the arm of the cramped loveseat, he raised one arm and rested it on the back of the seat, behind her. “I don’t know. I guess that’s why they call it a loveseat. It implies that two people would want to sit close.”
She couldn’t help her awareness of Josh’s arm behind her, sitting in a way guys typically sat, completely unaware of the awkwardness that hung in the air, and also unaware of her
sitting close enough that she felt the heat from his leg pressed against hers. Part of her wanted to lean against him just to see if that arm came down around her shoulders, and part of her wanted to run away screaming.
Before she could think of something to say that he wouldn’t take wrong, he reached into the bag with one hand, and pulled out a wrapped sandwich. “As I was standing in line, I started thinking, who exactly is Bert? This is advertised as Bert’s secret recipe, but has anyone ever met this infamous Bert? Does he really exist?”
“No one I know has ever met him, but they, whoever ‘they’ are, say it’s his secret recipe, and the restaurant is named after him.”
When she accepted the sandwich from him, he reached into the bag and pulled out the other one for himself.
As Sarah opened one end of the wrapper for her own sandwich, it occurred to her that Josh couldn’t do the same with one hand resting on the couch behind her.
“Excuse me,” he muttered in a low, gravelly tone. His arm draped around her back, he reached around her, pulling her close as he unwrapped his sandwich.
It was almost like a sneaky move from a teenage boy at a movie theater. Except this was Josh, and he was well over a decade past pulling a move like that. Especially with her.
Even though this was exactly the position she wanted to be in with Josh, pulled so close against him that she could feel his breath on her cheek, he simply unwrapped his sandwich and leaned back.
He turned toward her. “Wanna say grace?”
Sarah pressed her eyes shut to say a short and simple prayer for the food, working very hard to silence a thank-you to God for opening her eyes concerning Josh, and working even harder to resist praying for direction in seeing if it was meant to happen or not. Those prayers would be said when Josh wasn’t beside her, and when she had more time.
After his amen, Josh took a big bite of the sloppy sandwich, closed his eyes, and groaned. “This is the best sandwich I’ve ever had in my life.”
