by Dayna Quince
“Olivia...” he began.
“There is nothing more to say, Colton.”
“Something needs to be said.”
“I don’t want to hear it,” she said in alarm. Already she could feel her throat choking up and the tears pooling in her eyes. She wrapped her arms more tightly around herself and prayed he would leave without another word.
“I’m sorry, Livie. I never wanted to hurt you. Everything I have done has been to protect you.”
“I’m not yours to protect, Colton. I have a father and a brother who are charged with that duty, and when necessary, I can protect myself. You have made your feelings quite clear in regards to how you feel about me, so if you would please”—she swallowed against the urge to sob—“just leave me alone now. You wanted distance, now I’m giving it to you.”
“Let me take this off—”
“No!” She barked at him and turned, not having realized he had moved close to her. She bumped into him and an outraged screech erupted, not from her but from inside the cloak.
“What the devil?”
Olivia threw open the cloak with one arm and held up the abused hen to look for injuries. “I’m sorry, little hen,” she cooed. The hen clucked and wiggled until Olivia had no choice but to set her down on the table.
Colton stood stunned, arms folded over his chest. “Why do you have a chicken?” he asked dryly.
Olivia didn’t answer him, but instead continued to watch the chicken flap its wings and inspect the table.
“Olivia,” he said.
“Why are you still here?” She spun around and faced him.
“I want to speak with you,” he ground out.
“I don’t wish to speak to you, and for what it’s worth, I no longer give you permission to use my given name. You may only call me Lady Olivia.”
He clenched his teeth. “The hell I will.”
Olivia gasped. “Please refrain from the use of such language in my presence. You may go at once.”
He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. Olivia tensed against his sudden embrace. He pulled her tightly against him and rested his chin on her head.
“Let me comfort you. I’d rather die than cause you pain, but I can’t undo what has been done. I never want to see you hurt, Livie. I never want to see you cry unless they are tears of joy.”
As he said the words, she shuddered, and then tears burst forth.
“Please don’t cry, Livie. I will do anything if you will only stop crying.”
Olivia was shaking so badly her knees felt like butter. She couldn’t move. It was horrible and wonderful to be wrapped in his arms but also confusing. She didn’t want to want him anymore, but a very large part of her still thrilled at being so close to him, the feel of the hardness of his chest, the strength in the arms that held her. She cried because she was both happy and sad to be held thus by him. His words only made it worse. She could hear the sincerity and remorse, and she believed him but it didn’t change anything. He still didn’t want her, and she still desperately wanted him. He said he would do anything, but he wouldn’t be with her if she asked him now, he wouldn’t love her back as she loved him. What else could he possibly give her?
“Livie, please. What do you want me to do?” he pleaded.
This he said against her ear, and she felt the brush of his lips against her hair. She instantly felt warmer, her blood heating with the persistent longing she always felt for him. She turned in his arms and buried her face in his neck. She took a deep breath and inhaled the scent that was only his, the scent that set her body aflame with desire. Her small hands clutched his shirt, and she slowly looked up at him.
“You can kiss me,” she whispered.
His body stiffened, but he didn’t let her go. “We can’t do that.”
“You said you would do anything for me. I want you to kiss me.” She watched as he squeezed his eyes shut, even felt his arms tighten around her. He looked pained. “Why won’t you kiss me, Colton?”
“I can’t, Livie.” He looked down at her. “I won’t dishonor you like that. I care about you too much to take liberties—to take what doesn’t belong to me. That is for your future husband.”
Olivia briefly closed her eyes in anguish before meeting his again. “There is no future husband for me. I want you, but if you won’t have me then I won’t marry.”
“Don’t say that. You don’t know what the future holds for you.”
“I know what I want, Colton, and I’m not going to settle for a husband that I can only like for the rest of my life. I’d rather be alone.”
Colton hugged her tighter and rested his cheek on her head. “Have mercy on me, Livie. I’m only a man.”
“And I am a woman. Kiss me like I am someone else, a woman you want to kiss.”
“I can’t do that—I can’t pretend you are someone else when I know down to the marrow of my bones that you are you, and that I am kissing you. Don’t make me want you more than I already do. It will kill me.”
All the air left her lungs, and her head felt as if it were floating off her shoulders. “Colton, please,” she begged.
“I won’t, Livie. I have no right.”
“Give me something, Colton, just a simple kiss. Give me something to keep me warm at night while I grow old.”
Colton couldn’t stand it. He could hear the pain in her voice, feel the depth of her sadness like the way a fire emits heat. He was sorry—so sorry for causing her pain, and he wanted nothing but to make it better. But he didn’t know how to do that. All the reasons he couldn’t give her what they both wanted remained, but he must do something, he simply must.
A simple kiss.
His hands were shaking as he loosened his hold and brought his hands to her shoulders.
There was no such thing as a simple kiss in the history of mankind, and there sure as hell wasn’t ever going to be anything simple between them. He didn’t believe for one second that she wouldn’t be able to find a husband, but he could accept that she’d decided she wouldn’t want to. Fine, let her think she has no future, and she won’t find a promising husband to give her the home and children she deserves. He still believed it, because any man with a functioning brain and two eyes would have to be dead to not want to take Olivia to wife. He was the exception to the rule, but only because he knew he wasn’t good enough for her. If by giving her a single kiss, he could bring back the light in her eyes and a smile to her lips, than he would do it, but he wouldn’t do anything to permanently change her chances of making a suitable match.
He sighed heavily and inched back so he could look down at her face. She looked up at him, her eyes watery and pleading for him to do what she wished. He never would have dreamed that one day she would be begging him to kiss her, and that it would be such a hard decision for him to make. Life was odd like that. He brought one hand up to her cheek and brushed a tear away with his thumb. “No more crying,” he said.
She nodded.
“I will do nothing else but kiss you.”
She nodded again, a glint of a smile shining in her eyes.
He bent his head, this time taking in everything about the moment that he had missed before. He watched her eyelids droop and her focus drop to his lips. Her lips ever so slightly puckered in anticipation, and he found he wanted to smile at the sight of it. It fired his blood, and as his lips finally touched hers, he closed his eyes, and he did smile, and it felt like she smiled too.
He deepened the kiss and pulled her closer. Her hands slid up to his shoulders, and then gently clasped behind his neck. This kiss was already completely different from their first. This time he went slowly. He gradually increased the pressure of his lips until she opened her mouth and welcomed him in. His hands didn’t move from her shoulders, but he did massage them, feeling the tense muscles of her back and soothing them until she was relaxed and leaning into him.
He broke the kiss and simply looked at her, marveling at the beauty of her flushed cheeks and dreamy
eyes. They sparkled for him, vibrant and faceted like an emerald, glittering with joy. It was his undoing. He dipped his head again and lifted her off her feet. Pivoting, he turned toward the bed, walking forward until they bumped it with their legs. She gasped and pulled back, the corners of her mouth turned up and her eyes filled with wonder. He slowly bent forward, letting her go with one hand to brace the bed and lower her down then followed her. Rolling to the side of her, he brushed her hair from her face, and she tipped up her chin to offer her lips to him again.
Olivia could summon no words for how she was feeling. This must be a dream. She was tucked against his body, his arms securely around her, and his leg boldly nestled between hers. He kissed her languidly, as if he had all the time in the world to ravish her senses, and she fervently prayed he wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon. This was exactly how she dreamed being with Colton would be—sweet, passionate, slow, patient, and soul-searing. His tongue played with hers, darting and stroking. His hands squeezed her shoulders and rubbed her back in lazy circles.
His hand slid down her back to her hip and then up her side, gently trailing over the side of her breast to her collarbone at the edge of her bodice. He left it there for a moment, and then began to toy with the scalloped lace edge. Olivia began to shiver. She sighed against his mouth as her brain paid startlingly close attention to the whereabouts of his hand. She found she wasn’t nervous about whatever intimacies he may press on her. In fact, she was wholly excited about it. She felt as though she might jump out of her skin at any moment. Her heart beat frantically, her nerves stretched and tingled impatiently, and she feared she might rupture with ecstatic giggles at any moment.
She could feel his other hand pulling at the laces of her dress, and she desperately wanted to ask questions—what she didn’t know, but she feared if she spoke, it would snap him out of whatever emotion was overriding him. Please God, don’t let him stop. The hand at her shoulder began to move again, and his nimble fingers began to slip inside her neckline, inching it lower and lower. Giddiness filled her, and she tried to remain calm and receptive to whatever he might do. It must be working because he continued to push her neckline lower until it slid over the swell of one breast, and he stopped to pull down her chemise.
He broke the kiss and looked into her eyes as he exposed her breast. He looked down and cupped her. Olivia gasped with delight. Her body was tingling in so many places and singing with joy at every caress. She felt dazed, light-headed with the surge of hot blood through her veins, and invigorated by his touch. He dipped his head down to nuzzle her neck, and Olivia arched to give him more access. Her breast pressed into his palm, and he squeezed her. She sucked in a breath, shocked and excited by the new sensation.
“Do you like this?” he asked as he teasingly licked the sensitive skin of her neck.
“Oh, yes,” she said, surprised by the sultriness of her own voice. She felt womanly, exotic, and wanton.
He made a burning trail of kisses to her collarbone, and then continued over her chest to the tip of her breast. Olivia began to shiver again, amazing since she also felt like she was burning up inside. She hesitantly looked down at him. He was tenderly administering tiny licks around her nipple that caused little bolts of lightning to shoot down her abdomen. She was aware of a growing ache at the core of her body, a need to squeeze her thighs together that caused a delicious, yet unappeasable sensation.
Colton shifted to her other breast after first pulling down the rest of her bodice. Her arms were trapped at her sides, and she could do little else but bunch her hands in his shirt. She restlessly moved her legs trying to feed the urge between her thighs that insisted on satisfaction. Colton pulled away just long enough to slide her leg over his hip and press his thigh up against her.
It felt amazing, and at first contact, a little moan escaped her.
“Yes,” Colton whispered.
Olivia was shocked to her toes. She couldn’t believe all that was happening, and yet she felt powerless against the desire of her own body. Not that she wanted to stop it. She never wanted it to stop. It was taking over her, telling her to move in certain ways, making erotic and breathy moans erupt from her unconsciously. She would have been embarrassed, except each time she did it, Colton would kiss her more ardently and more aggressively.
“Olivia,” he said in what sounded like desperation.
He was moving his thigh against her womanhood, and she could feel the evidence of his desire against her lower belly. It was terrifying and thrilling at the same time. His hands were roving everywhere now, over her back, her hips, her bottom, and pulling her tightly against his arousal. It was getting harder to breathe, her breath coming in quick pants, and her heart beating frantically against her chest. The friction of his thigh against her became necessary, and she even began to move her hips in time with him.
“Oh God, Olivia, I need you,” he cried.
She was stunned by the gruffness of his voice and the depth of emotion. He began to pull up her dress, and she was surprised by her sudden stab of reality. “Colton, wait.” She tried to stop him, but at the same time, she didn’t want to. She knew exactly what she wanted, but she also knew what he didn’t want. She didn’t want him to be so overcome by lust that he did something he would regret. That would be even worse than his initial rejection.
“Colton stop.”
He froze. His hungry eyes rose to meet hers, and Olivia was afraid of the way he looked. He looked tortured and in pain. He looked like... Well, she didn’t exactly know what he looked like.
“You said you didn’t want to do this. I don’t want you to do something you don’t want.”
His eyes softened. “Oh Olivia, my sweet. I need to kiss you... I need to taste you. I promise nothing beyond that.”
Olivia relaxed. “You don’t need to promise me, Colton. I trust you.”
“I promise you will never forget me after this night, and you will never forget this.”
He kissed her hard and Olivia sighed through the kiss. He wasn’t going to stop yet. Thank God.
He continued to pull up her skirts, and she didn’t know what he was doing but she didn’t care. He could do anything he wanted to her, and she would love every second of it. Anticipation clawed at her nerves as he slowly pulled her skirts above her waist, sliding his hand up her thigh intently, caressing until she grew comfortable with the new sensation.
He looked up at her. “I want to see all of you.”
Olivia smiled tentatively and nodded. He seemed to be happy with her response and began to pull down her drawers. Olivia held her breath as he slid them over her hips and down her legs onto the bed. She had never been undressed in such a sensual way, and she didn’t know what to do or how to respond. She still had the insistent ache between her legs, and it was all she could do to keep herself from squirming under his regard. He watched her... His eyes focused on her most private of places as his hands gently caressed her legs apart. Then he moved lower.
Olivia tensed. She had no clue what he was about to do and the anticipation was killing her.
“Relax.” He moved lower still, gently moving her legs up and apart and lying between them.
A shaky breath escaped her, and she was suddenly nervous that she was going to start giggling like a lunatic. Olivia knew nothing about lovemaking, if this was indeed love making, but she was certain it didn’t include giggling like a mad woman.
She tried to relax. She lay back against the pillows, her hands balled at her sides and watched as he bent closer to her. She couldn’t watch. She was so afraid she might do something embarrassing that she averted her eyes and stared at the ceiling. But then he started touching her. Softly and slowly, he traced her delicate flesh with a single finger. He played with her softness, coaxing more of the urgent feeling from her. Olivia was beginning to get frustrated with that feeling. It was getting stronger and more annoying, and she didn’t know what to do to appease it.
But Colton did.
She felt t
he brush of his lips on her inner thigh, and he moved upward to her center. He alternated between tiny licks and kisses until he reached her hot core and licked her fully.
Olivia closed her eyes and gripped the blanket in her small fists. It was brilliant, it was amazing, it was the most wonderful thing she had ever felt in her entire life. Surely nothing could surpass it, but then he kept going. Each lick of his tongue and brush of his fingers against her sensitive folds amplified her desire. It became impossible not to move, and it became necessary to moan and gasp with each new sensation. It was too much and yet not enough. She was getting closer to something, the need growing within her until she just couldn’t stand it anymore, and it was almost painful.
“Colton, please,” she begged him, for what she didn’t know, but her thighs and bottom were cramping and tensing, and she struggled for something she couldn’t define or reach.
He sucked on the hood of her womanhood and pleasure shot throughout her body like lightning. She screamed. He flicked his tongue against the part of her that was most sensitive and hungriest for touch, and she screamed again. She felt pleasure encompassing her body again like a firework shooting into the sky, bursting with a violent display of color and light, and then sprinkles of light gently falling from the sky. Except that light was pleasure, and it sprinkled over every part of her body, infusing her with bliss from her crown of black curls to the tips of her toes.
She lay there breathing, unable to move her limbs that were so happy to just be. She was vaguely aware of Colton pulling her skirts down, moving up the bed to lay beside her, his eyes on her face, and a smile playing about his wicked lips.
“That...that was... I’ve never.” She gave up. She could hear him chuckling and found the energy to narrow her eyes at him.
