Motorhead

by Landish, Lauren

  “Yes,” I say. “Heaven and stars above, I love her very much .”

  John studies me for a moment, then nods. “Good. Then don’t ever let her go. Girls like her only come around once in a lifetime. So to hell with the rules. You make sure you hold her, please her, and give her everything she desires .”

  “Desires,” I muse as John pulls away. Desires indeed .

  Hopefully, she gives in to that desire sooner rather than later. Another night of her dressed in that nightgown and I’m going to have a serious case of blue balls .

  “Oliver?” John asks. “Did you hear me ?”

  “Hmmm?” I reply, glancing over at John. “Yeah. I was just thinking how stupid rules can be, and that you’re right. Mindy deserves her wildest dreams .”

  “Good,” John says, turning his attention back to driving. I look out the car window again, not really watching as the greenery rolls by. I’m thinking about Mindy. And rules. The only thing separating me from her is a flimsy barrier of rules she’s put up between us .

  And if I want to get the rules to change . . . I need to change the game .

  Chapter 11

  Mindy

  A s Roxy and I ride with Grandma, I know I’m in big trouble. I can't stop thinking about the way he kissed me .

  The way that his hands felt on my waist, and the way his thumb brushed over my cheek when our lips parted. It’s fake, but it felt so real. I can still count on one hand the number of times he’s kissed me. The scary part is that each one is getting better than the last. The really scary part is that I’m looking forward to the next one more and more .

  It’s more than the way he uses his lips or the way his body feels pressed against me. It’s the look in his eyes. There is real desire there, and something else too. Something that scares me .

  But last night was a real test of faith. I think I deserve entry to the gates of heaven because I’m a goddamn saint for resisting him. Call the Pope or something, because I felt like Eve, and Oliver’s big fucking dick was the forbidden fruit. I didn’t partake, so now I need to be rewarded .

  “Yoo-hoo! Earth to Mindy!” Roxy says, waving her hand in my face .

  I’m snapped back to attention. Roxy’s driving us down the road in her white convertible with the sun roof down. The wind ruffles through our hair, and the weather is amazing. You couldn’t ask for a better day, really. With clear blue skies and the sun warming our skin, everything is just right. Off in the distance, I can see the deep blue ocean. This place is nothing but beautiful. If I had to name a place to live, I think I would love to live here .

  “Yeah?” I ask, setting aside my thoughts about Oliver and the creeping fantasy I have of him and me and this place. “What ?”

  Roxy grins, raising her voice to talk over the wind. “You look like you’re in another world. Was the sex that good ?”

  I scowl at Roxy. “You do realize your grandma’s in the back seat, right ?”

  “Are you serious?” Roxy asks, glancing in the rearview mirror. “She says and hears things far worse than that, ain’t that right, Grandma ?”

  In the back, my annoyance grows as Grandma cackles. “Honey, I might be old, but I ain't dead. I’ve had more than my fair share of rides in the rodeo back in the day and put more than my fair share of cowboys away wet at night .”

  “See?” Roxy says as I wish I could just crawl into a hole and die. And Brianna thinks I’m forward? “Hell, I’d have her twerking on ladies’ night at Trixie’s if I could .”

  “Don’t you dare,” I say, feeling like the most mature person in the vehicle. “You’re not about to have my Maw-Maw down there looking like some geriatric Nikki Minaj .”

  Roxy laughs, and silence reigns for a moment. “So, how have you been?” I ask Roxy seriously. “I haven’t gotten a moment alone with you since we got here. You doing okay ?”

  “I’ve been good,” Roxy says, giving me a smirk and a shrug. “But Mom’s been giving me hell for taking a year off college to pursue singing. What else is new? She doesn’t approve of anything I do unless it’s something she wants .”

  Her words resonate with me. Aren’t I pulling this whole charade to please my mother? I’m making an ass of myself in front of my family just so I can appear to have found a man. “It’s just her way,” I say .

  We make it to the dress shop. It’s a small little place in a strip mall between a karate studio and an eyeglass shop. I’m not sure at first, but when Roxy leads me inside, I see that everything’s high-end. “This looks expensive as hell. I’d feel like I was slumming it in a Vera Wang,” I say. “Jesus, this thing costs more than what I make in two months .”

  “Good thing I have John's credit card then,” Roxy says with a chuckle, patting her hip pocket .

  “What do you think of that?” I ask .

  “What do I think of what?” Roxy asks as Grandma settles into one of the well-padded chairs and hums to herself .

  “Of Mom marrying him?” I ask .

  I know the conversation I had with Mom, but I want Roxy’s opinion too. She bites her lower lip for a second as she thinks before answering. “He seems like a really sweet man. At first, I didn't think that they made a good match. He's laid-back, and as you know, Mom can be pretty . . . high-strung. But for the most part, they've meshed pretty well. And despite all the bullshit, Mom’s really the same inside .”

  “That's good. As long as she's happy,” I say as I finger a tight little party dress. It’d look great on me, and I can just imagine myself dancing with Oliver . . . wait, what the hell ?

  “That's always what's most important,” Grandma says as I quickly let the dress go. Now is not the time to think about Oliver. “Because if you ain't happy, everything and everyone around you will be miserable .”

  Roxie lets out a snort. “I know that's right. Preach, Granny Goose! You’re on a roll today !”

  “And if the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear the stinky thing,” Grandma says, egged on by Roxy. “Cast it out !”

  Roxy laughs as the salesperson comes over, looking like someone cut a fart in church. “May I help you ?”

  “Yes, we’re here to pick up some dresses,” Roxy says. “The name is Wentworth ?”

  At the mention of John’s name, the bitch face disappears and a giant smile comes out. “Of course! I’ll have them out in a second .”

  It’s not quite a second, but they’re back in a jiffy. They’re certainly high-end. I seriously doubt any flower girls in history have worn dresses quite this level before .

  “These are cute,” Roxy says. “These would be great for your wedding too, Mindy !”

  I want to have enthusiasm, but It’s hard to even think about. There won’t be any marriage. At least, not with Oliver. “Yeah, that would be cool .”

  “What’s the matter?” she asks, noticing my tone. “You don’t seem too excited. Aren’t you looking forward to your wedding? You two just seem so perfect for each other .”

  Looking at my sister’s encouraging smile, I feel like a fucking fraud. I should have known this fake-marriage thing wouldn’t be so casual. I catch Grandma looking at me. She tears her eyes away when I see, but in that instant, I’m reminded that Grandma has been around for a long time. She’s raised two daughters and a son, buried a husband and her son, and the whole time has been smart as a whip. She sees things other people don’t. I need to be careful .

  “Of course I am, but we haven’t even set a date yet.” God, I sound guilty, I know it .

  Roxy shrugs, turning her attention back to the dresses. “Fine. I didn't mean to upset you .”

  I just want to hurry up and get this week over with. I feel like time is crawling, every minute is a year of mental agony already, and every mention of sex, Oliver, weddings, or babies is like a stab right in my gut .

  We spend the next hour checking the dresses, but in the end, everything looks good. The tab makes me blanche while Roxy doesn’t bat an eyelash at letting them swipe John’s card. Instead, she just laughs
as we carry the dresses out to the car. “Man, I really wish we could have gotten some of those party dresses. I saw you eyeing one. You’d look great in it. Not as good as me, but good .”

  “I’d make you look like a little girl playing dress-up,” I tease back. “Oh, wait . . . you ARE a little girl playing dress-up .”

  “Bitch,” Roxy says with a laugh, and I feel good again. On the way back, I forget about my worries as we all catch up on each other’s day-to-day lives .

  When we reach the Wentworth estate, my stomach is grumbling and I can't wait to get some food. We both help Grandma out and bring the bags in, setting them in the den where I guess Mom’s starting to gather the stuff .

  “We’re home!” Roxy sings when we walk back into the foyer. “Looks like Mom, Rita and Layla, and the men aren’t back yet. Let’s go wait in the TV room. You’ve gotta check out John’s system. They should be back soon, but seriously, Min, you need to see this thing. It’s nearly the size of a movie screen !”

  “I hope they’re quick, ‘cause I’m starving,” I say, following Roxy into the entertainment room. Her description was a bit over-the-top. It’s not the size of a movie theater, but still, a seven-feet-tall projection screen is pretty damn sweet. “Wow, imagine watching Ryan Gosling on this thing. He’d be life-sized .”

  “Imagine watching porn on this thing,” Roxy says with a laugh. “The guys’ dicks are life-sized .”

  “You . . .” I start before just shaking my head. “Just please tell me that you watch it by yourself .”

  “Well, duh .”

  Before I can reply, I hear a yell from the foyer. “We’re home !”

  Thank God for a mother who insists on making her lunch appointments. We go out where Mom and Aunt Rita are handing off their bags. “How’d you girls do?” Mom asks. “Been back long ?”

  “Everything went well,” Roxy reassures Mom. “They’re in the den. You guys ?”

  “Good. We got almost everything,” Mom says before scowling. “They just won’t be able to get in the Toro sushi that I wanted .”

  “Oh, that sucks,” I reply, trying not to sound annoyed. Jesus Christ, Mom. When I was a kid, you’d have been happy with Chicken of the Sea, and now you won’t be happy unless the fish were given massages before getting filleted. Jeez, no wonder you couldn’t trust the wedding planner to do everything. There’s no way any one human could remember everything you want for this thing .

  Mom catches my tone, though, and chuckles. “Okay, Mindy, point taken. All right, lunch time. You guys wait — ”

  “Oh,” Roxy says next to me, her hand pressed against her chest. “Talk about Prince Charming .”

  I turn to see Oliver walking in carrying a bouquet of roses. My heart does a backflip as he walks over to me, a beaming smile on his face. “I brought something for you, Princess,” he says, handing me the roses. “They’re not as beautiful as you . . . but then again, nothing is .”

  I stare at the bouquet as if it’s a vase full of snakes. Still, his words have an impact, and I’m shocked. What’s he up to? “Th–th–thank you .”

  “Oh, my God. That’s so sweet,” Mom says, fanning her face to prevent smearing her mascara, tears in her eyes. Every woman in the room has watery eyes with the exception of Layla, who looks like she’s going through great lengths not to roll hers. Even I’m feeling a bit choked up, and looking into his face, I’m having to remind myself over and over that this is all an act. He’s just pretending. He has to be .

  “You’re welcome,” Oliver says, his deep voice dripping like honey. He leans down to give me a firm kiss on the lips. His scent envelops me. It’s a bit spicy from his cologne, but underscored with his unique manly flavor. I love it, and pretend or not, my body responds .

  When he pulls away, I almost feel like I need a ventilator. My head is swimming, I’m confused, not able to think, and I can feel my cheeks burning. To hide my embarrassment, I bury my nose in the roses. Maybe it’s the moment, but they smell better than any roses I’ve ever seen .

  “That was so sweet of you,” Mom repeats. “You really are a gentleman .”

  Oliver grins and flashes her a smile. “I try .”

  “Can we clone you?” Roxy asks, and while I know she’s just being silly, I swear she sounds like she’s all gaga too .

  Oliver laughs, shaking his head. “Sorry, Roxy, I don’t think that’s possible yet .”

  “No, seriously. Can we clone? I got a cup that you can donate your DNA — ”

  “That’s enough, Roxy!” I say firmly .

  “Selfish, stingy . . .” Roxy’s words trail off as she makes a face, then turns and walks toward the dining room .

  “Hold on, Roxy,” Oliver says. “John and I were talking, and we’ve had the tables set out on the second-floor balcony. We’re going to do lunch out there. The day is too beautiful to let it go to waste .”

  Mom looks at John, beaming. “That’s a great idea! You two make a great team, John. It’s going to be great having Oliver as your son-in-law .”

  “Thanks, honey,” John says, “but it was all his idea .”

  Oliver turns his eyes on me and smiles. It’s not a smirk, and it’s not mocking or joking. It’s a smile that makes me weak in the knees. “It’s nothing, really. I do it all for her. My Princess deserves the absolute best .”

  I tear my eyes away from his gaze, my cheeks flaming. My heart feels fuzzy. Weird. I’m so confused and conflicted. I know this is all supposed to be fake, but Oliver is turning up the heat, and my heart, among other places, thinks it’s real .

  If he keeps this up, I’m going to be clawing his back and screaming his name before the week’s out .

  Chapter 12

  Oliver

  “H ere you go, Princess,” I say, pulling out the seat for her. Out on the balcony, I don’t think I could ask for a more perfect lunch time. The sun’s high in the sky and the skies are a perfect blue. Past the back lawn, you can see the wall that borders the estate before the land drops, and the ocean begins. It’s not too warm, not too cold, and the breeze has just a hint of salt on it. I don’t think I could have scripted a more beautiful or romantic location for lunch .

  Mindy’s cheeks flush as she sinks in her seat. The staff have set up small tables for two or three people around the balcony as if it’s an outdoor restaurant. Each couple has their own table while Roxy, Layla, and Ivy Jo share a third, leaving one for me and Mindy .

  “Thank you,” she says, her voice small .

  I wink at her. “My pleasure. You look lovely, by the way .”

  I take my seat as a cool breeze flows in from the ocean, and I inhale deeply. “Jeez, this place is like a paradise .”

  “It is,” Mindy agrees, enjoying the cool air with a satisfied look. “This was all your idea?” she asks quietly enough so the others don’t hear. She doesn’t need to worry—she’d have to be talking pretty loudly. There’s comfortable space between the tables .

  I nod. “It was nothing. Everything was already planned. I just suggested we do it out here .”

  “Why?” she asks .

  “Because you deserve it,” I say with a smile. “And I wanted to have a nice lunch with you .”

  She stares at me, unconvinced. “I can’t tell if you’re playing or if you really mean it anymore, Oliver .”

  “Maybe a little bit of both,” I tease. “Maybe I don’t really know myself.” And that’s the truth. I might be getting a little carried away, but maybe I actually mean it .

  “Yeah, which means it’s bullshit,” she says. “You strike me as a man who always knows exactly what he’s doing and what he wants .”

  “Isn’t that what you want?” I ask .

  She starts to respond, but the kitchen guy comes out with the menu for everyone. He goes around to each table, leaving the menus and then taking the orders for drinks. John’s going all out. We’re practically at a restaurant .

  There’s only a few selections of wine. Mary Jo is saving the best stuff for t
he actual wedding. I take a quick look, then hand it back to him. “Can I have the Darioush Chardonnay 2010 for us, please ?”

  The man nods, pleased. “Certainly, sir .”

  Mindy immediately glowers at me when he’s gone. “Who said you could order for me ?”

  “I did,” I say firmly. “I’m supposed to be your fiancé, remember ?”

  “How y’all doing over there?” Roxy calls from her table. “Enjoying the view ?”

  “Just fine,” Mindy yells back, flashing a quick smile. “How about you worry about what’s on your own plate ?”

  “Smart ass,” Roxy yells .

  I laugh. “You two are a riot. I bet you two were cats and . . . well, cats when you were kids .”

  “Oh, you haven’t seen anything yet.” Mindy scowls. “It’s tame right now because people are around. It’s an all out rumble when it’s just me and her. Or it used to be .”

  “What would we do without our younger siblings?” I ask, my mind briefly going to Anthony and wondering if he’s doing what I asked him to do .

  He’d better, I tell myself, or when I get back, we’re going to have more than just a little talk this time. I really should find time to give them a quick call, but it’s been impossible so far .

  “Repent,” Mindy jokes, “for thou art cursed with the younger sibling. And with great wailing and gnashing of teeth, the elder siblings were thus cursed .”

  I can’t help but to laugh. “Something like that .”

  “Nah, I’m just joking,” Mindy says more seriously. “I don’t know what I’d do without that girl .”

  “Then why didn’t you come here with them? If a coffee shop is your thing, I’m sure John could’ve set you up .”

  Mindy frowns. “Because when Dad died . . . I just felt paralyzed. Like, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Then running the coffee shop gave me something to focus on. Mom moving away was like a relief at the time. When she was around, it reminded me of him too much .”