“Jax! Jax! Phone.”
She didn’t know where he’d been but he entered the family room at a dead run, grabbed the phone and punched the talk button. “Yes.” A pause. “Yes, it is.”
He strolled out of the room.
That was strange. She thought that it was dangerous to let people have their phone number because of the GPS tracking system. So who did Jax trust enough with their location? The police? And why was his face creased with worry lines?
* * *
Jax’s entire body tensed as he waited for the doctor to come on the line. He paced back and forth on the veranda. The afternoon sun was hot, but his need for privacy trumped being comfortable. He didn’t normally pray, but in this instance if he had any points with God, he could use some help now.
“Jax, this is Dr. Collins. How are you doing?”
Did he mean besides the stress of knowing that his clients were up in arms because the funds in his investment accounts had been seized as evidence until this trial was over? Apart from the fact some thug attacked the woman that he...that he considered a close friend? Or aside from the fact that he was secluded in a ritzy home with a woman who could make him want her with just a look?
“I’m doing good,” he lied.
“That’s what I like to hear from my patients. But something tells me even if you weren’t feeling like your old self yet, you wouldn’t say anything. Don’t push yourself too hard, too fast. And if you won’t listen to me, at least listen to your body. It’ll tell you what it needs.”
Enough of this, he needed to know where he stood. “Doc, what did the tests reveal?”
“Nothing. That is to say there’s nothing wrong with you. At this point, you are fit and healthy.”
“Really?” His legs felt like jelly. He sank down on a chair. “You’re absolutely positive?”
“I am. You can relax now. There’s no reason you can’t continue with a normal, healthy life.”
Immediately Cleo’s face came to mind. “But the cancer, it can come back, can’t it?”
There was a distinct pause. “I won’t lie to you. It can. For the next couple of years we’ll keep a close eye on you. If anything develops, we’ll catch it early. But I would think positive.”
“Thanks, Doc.”
They talked a few more minutes and Jax promised to schedule a follow-up appointment in six months. By the time he got off the phone, he was so relieved, he pumped his fists and yelled, “Yes!” like a pro football player after scoring the winning touchdown in the final seconds of the game.
This was the game of his life. After months of tests and treatments, the endless wonder and worry, he could at last relax. For the moment, he was healthy.
He let himself back in the house, eager to seek out Cleo. She was curled up again with her pencils and sketch pad. She glanced up when he entered the room.
“Is everything okay?”
“Um, yes.” Had she heard him cheering? He doubted it. The house was far too big for voices to carry that far. “I actually got some good news.”
“You did? That’s great.” She smiled and patted the spot on the couch next to her. “Come sit down. You can tell me your good news, and I need your opinion on something.”
For the first time since he had found the lump under his arm, he had energy and felt as if he could run a marathon. Okay, maybe not a marathon but at least around the block.
The invitation to sit next to the most gorgeous woman in the world was just too tempting to resist. However, he forced himself to leave a comfortable distance between them.
Charlie lifted his head from where he was sleeping on the opposite side of Cleo, eyed him up and then promptly went back to sleep. He was going to miss Charlie. Every time he opened the fridge and grabbed for the bag of lunch meat, the cat knew it and made a beeline for the kitchen so he could have some, too.
Needing a moment or two to sort out what to say to her, Jax said, “First, tell me how the conversation with your mother went.”
“It didn’t.”
He turned to look directly at her. “What do you mean, it didn’t?”
“I didn’t call her.”
“But I thought that’s why you borrowed the phone.”
She went on to tell him how she called her brother instead. Jax’s body tensed as he wondered if this thing between Cleo and himself could ruin a lifetime friendship with Kurt. He hated the thought of losing yet another person from his life.
“Did you mention anything about us?” He braced himself for the answer.
“No, I didn’t.” Cleo’s eyes filled with compassion. “I didn’t feel it was my place. I know how protective Kurt can be, and I know he made you promise to stay away from me.”
“You do?”
She smiled at him. “Let’s just say that a little sister can have big ears when the need arises. I figure if there’s ever anything to tell him about us, you’ll find a way to tell him. After all, it isn’t like I’m a teenager any longer.”
“Maybe you’re right.” He desperately wanted to believe her. But he knew he was jumping too far ahead. It wasn’t as if they had a future. “And right now Kurt has enough on his mind.”
Two V-shaped lines formed between her brows. “Do you think I’ll get paid much for the time I was your casino host? You know, before ape man ruined things?”
“You don’t have anything to worry about. I wagered a sizable fortune while I was at the Glamour. And lost quite a bit. All in all you should get a generous paycheck.”
“Oh, good!” Color immediately rushed to her cheeks and she glanced away. “Sorry. I didn’t mean I was excited about your loss...just that I’d have some money to send home to Kurt. He sounded defeated on the phone.”
“I understand.” Jax wanted to ease the worry on her face, but he still wasn’t sure how to go about it without overstepping. “I’d like to help.”
“You would?”
“Yes. I’ve been doing some thinking about this even before I heard that the Bar S was in trouble.”
“We could definitely use the help.” She looked up at him with a hopeful gleam. “What did you have in mind?”
He wasn’t so sure how Cleo would feel about his idea. In fact, he was hesitant to bring it up. Maybe he should just go directly to Kurt with it. But then again if he couldn’t get it past Cleo, he’d never get her brother to agree.
“I want to buy your grandfather’s ranch.”
Cleo sat back. Her eyes opened wide. “But why?”
“I’m tired of New York. I accomplished what I went there to do.”
“Make yourself into a business success?”
He nodded. “Now I want to try something different.”
“But I would have thought you’d be settled in New York. Won’t you miss it?”
He shrugged. “Some. Certainly the coffee shop down the street from my apartment building. They have the best bagels. But I need something more.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“I thought of returning to Hope Springs. I miss the wide-open space.”
“You mean to move there permanently?”
“It’s one possibility. I was planning to explore the idea when the strange phone calls started. I didn’t want to travel to Hope Springs and have trouble follow me there. That would just reinforce some folks’ opinions that I’m still bad news.”
“No one would say that.”
He eyed her, knowing she was lying just to make him feel better. “Your mother might disagree.”
She reached out and squeezed his arm, sending a sensation zinging through his veins and settling in his chest. He stared deep into her eyes, wanting to pull her into his arms. Since he’d talked to the doctor, he felt as though he had a new lease on life.
But before he
could move, Cleo’s smile morphed into a frown.
“What is it?” He’d fix it if he could. Right about now, he’d do anything for her.
“I’m just worried about my job at the casino. I can’t lose it.”
At least he could reassure her. “You don’t have to worry. Your job will be there waiting for you as soon as you’re ready.”
“I don’t know. I didn’t complete the one task Mr. Burns gave me.”
“What was that?”
“Keeping you happy.”
“Oh, trust me. You’ve made me very happy.”
“Really?”
He nodded and her eyes twinkled with mischief.
She leaned forward and in a breathy voice said, “Maybe I could make you happier.”
In an instant, her lips pressed to his. His heart slammed into his ribs. Now wasn’t the time for overthinking things. It was a time for decisive action. His hands slipped around her waist, pulling her closer. Every nerve ending sprang to life. He hadn’t felt this free, this alive, in forever.
Cleo smelled like a field of wildflowers. He didn’t know if it was her perfume or shampoo, but there was something about her that had an intoxicating effect on him.
Who’d ever think that the girl who gave him that inexperienced peck all those years ago would grow up to give such passionate kisses? Her lips moved over his in a fervent hunger. And when she moaned, it was his undoing. In that moment, it didn’t matter what she’d ask of him, he’d be helpless to deny her.
Her fingers trailed up his neck. Her nails scraped against his scalp. It was the most stimulating sensation. He couldn’t believe the girl whose ponytails he used to pull and who would flash him a smile lined with braces was now this red-hot siren in his arms setting his whole body on fire.
She pulled back just far enough to murmur, “Let’s move this to the bedroom, where my cast won’t be in the way.”
It was as if she’d dumped a bucket of icy cold mountain water over his head. He...he couldn’t do that, no matter how much he wanted her. He turned his head away, trying to get a grip.
“We can’t.” He couldn’t look her in the face.
She placed her fingers under his chin and attempted to turn his head, but he resisted. He felt like a wild animal that had been caught in a trap. There was no getting away. No pretending that he was the same Jax that he’d been all those years ago.
“You can kiss me, but you can’t even look at me now.” Irritation threaded through her voice. “What’s the matter? Don’t my kisses stack up to the other women you’ve known?”
He swung around and looked at her point-blank. “They aren’t even in the same ballpark. Yours are so much sweeter. You’re amazing.”
“Then I don’t understand. What’s the problem? Why do you keep pulling me close only to shove me away?”
For the lack of anything better, he fell back on a cliché. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Cleo rolled her eyes. “You’ve got to do better than that. I want to know the truth.”
“Can’t we just forget this happened?”
“No, we can’t. I want you. And you obviously want me. You owe me the truth. What’s holding you back?”
There was no way out of this. He supposed he did owe her the truth, but somehow that didn’t make it any easier to say.
CHAPTER TWELVE
JAX COULDN’T BELIEVE he was about to bare his soul to Cleo.
His gut knotted as he pictured her withdrawing from him—of her looking at him differently. He didn’t want to make this confession. But what choice did he have? She needed to realize here and now that they could never be more than friends.
He lifted his head to meet her questioning gaze. “I’m not the same man you used to know.”
She squeezed his hand. “And I’m not a kid anymore. But I think you figured that out.”
He pulled away, needing to think straight. “This isn’t easy for me to say.”
She reached out and gripped his thigh. “You’ve listened and understood my problems. Trust me to understand yours.”
Realizing he needed more distance between them if he was ever going to say this, he got to his feet. If she kept touching him, he’d never get these words out.
He strode over to the wall of windows and wished he could just keep walking off into the desert—where no one knew him and no one cared about his story. He honestly never planned to have this conversation with anyone. Yet somehow when he wasn’t looking, Cleo had snuck past his defenses. She’d gotten closer to him than anyone ever had in his life. And now he had to give them both a strong dose of reality.
He leveled his shoulders and turned. “I have cancer.”
She fell back against the couch as though his words had physically knocked the breath out of her. “Are...are you dying?”
He shook his head. “I have Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Luckily I found the lump early on. And I’ve since been through the treatments.”
“Are you cured?”
He shook his head. “But I just found out that I’m in remission.”
The fright in her eyes eased to a look of concern. He wished she would say something. Do something. Even if it was to walk away. At least then he’d know where they stood.
As the silence stretched on, his patience snapped. “Cleo, did you hear me? I have cancer.”
“I heard you. I’m just wondering, with both of your parents gone, did you go through this all by yourself?”
He didn’t see why any of that mattered now. “Yes, I did.”
“You know if you’d called me or even Kurt, we’d have been there for you.”
Her words stirred a spot in his chest. The thought that she’d even offer to stand by him through such a tough time said so much about her sweet nature. Cleo may have grown up and changed on the outside, but inside, where it counted, she was still the caring and thoughtful person he’d known all those years ago.
He drew his thoughts up short. He was letting himself get distracted. He had to be sure she understood what he was trying to tell her—that he couldn’t be with her the way she wanted. That this thing between them had gone as far as he could let it go.
“I’m so sorry you felt you had to go through that all alone.”
“Cleo, you aren’t understanding what I’m trying to tell you.”
“Yes, I am. You told me that you were very sick and you had no one there to stand by your side. But now you don’t have to face the future alone. You have me. I’ll be there to hold your hand. Or read you silly stories from magazines. Whatever you need.”
She wanted to be there for him? Really be there. Not just with words but with action, too. His gaze blurred and he blinked rapidly. No one since his mother had ever put his needs first. He glanced away and rubbed at his eyes. Someday Cleo would make some man amazingly happy. He envied that person.
Jax cleared the lump in his throat. “You won’t need to do that. My treatments are done for now. But that’s no guarantee there won’t be a recurrence.”
There. He’d said it all. She knew now she’d be wasting her time on him. He turned his back, unable to watch her walk away.
He waited. Listening. Longing for this agonizing moment to be over. Just like when he was a kid and got caught stealing a locket for his dying mother. She always wanted one to hold pictures of the two men in her life, but his father told her it was a waste of money. Some people had looked at Jax with pity and a certain amount of resignation. Others had turned their backs on him. He hadn’t cared. It was the only thing he’d been able to do for her on her deathbed and it had been worth every cruel look. Why should he think that now would be any different?
But in the next moment, he remembered how Cleo paid for the necklace. He’d been so embarrassed, he’d run off. Afterward she’d never mentione
d it. And it had taken him time, but eventually he’d paid her back every single penny he owed her.
The next thing he knew Cleo’s arms wrapped around him—hugging him. Her cheek pressed to his back. And he could feel the dampness through his T-shirt of what must surely be her tears. Just like all those years ago, she was there for him.
He carefully turned, trying not to knock her off-balance and reinjure her leg. He wrapped his arms around her, taking comfort in her warmth. He braced himself as she hesitantly raised her gaze until she met his.
In her eyes he found understanding. How could he have ever doubted her?
He held her to his chest and lowered his cheek to the top of her head. He stayed there in her embrace, absorbing the peace that came with her acceptance of what had happened to him. He didn’t know until that moment just how much he needed her to understand—to make him feel normal.
“Thank you,” he whispered into her hair.
She squeezed him tighter.
He breathed in her strength and let it settle his nerves. He didn’t know that it was possible to feel even better than when he got the test results from the doctor. But right now, he felt as though he could take on the world...and win.
Jax eased back from Cleo just far enough to look into her eyes. He needed to hear it with his own ears. “You’re really not put off by my cancer?”
“I think you are the most wonderful man both inside and out. No disease can change that.” She followed her words with a kiss that left no doubt about what she had in mind.
Believing in her words, he gave in to his long-withheld desires. He scooped her up into his arms and carried her upstairs, leaving Charlie to finish his catnap alone.
* * *
Cleo woke up and ran her hand over an empty bed.
Her eyes sprang open. The golden rays of the setting sun mocked the fact that she was alone.
“Jax?” She glanced toward the bathroom, finding it dark and empty.
Old insecurities plagued her. Her stomach roiled. What had she done opening herself up to him? When would she ever learn?
She threw on her clothes and worked her way downstairs, unsure what reaction she’d receive. Did he regret their time together? Did he consider what they’d shared a mistake?
The Return of the Rebel Page 12
