by Tiffany Snow
“Looks like you could use another drink,” he said, using the excuse of taking her glass as an opportunity to step closer to her. He leaned down. “I know I do.”
It seemed the most natural thing in the world to take her hand in his, slotting their fingers together as he walked her to the bar set up on the sideboard. The empty sugar-encrusted glass wasn’t her style, but he guessed Mona had given it to her. Setting it aside, he took two lowball glasses and filled each with ice. Grabbing the bottle of vodka, he poured a healthy shot in each, then topped with tonic and handed her one while he took the other.
“To your continued good health,” he said, clinking his glass against hers.
Blue eyes on his, she took a sip. Kade avidly watched the way her lips formed to the glass, the movement of her throat as she swallowed, and how her tongue swiped at the damp fluid left behind.
“Glad you could make it, Kade.”
Kade had seen Blane’s approach, and he didn’t miss the way his arm slid possessively around Kathleen’s waist. Jealousy sank its claws in deep and Kade took a long swallow of his drink, fighting the insane urge to shove Blane away from her. If he kept looking in her eyes, he could control it, so he didn’t look away from the clear, pure blue.
“Wouldn’t have missed it, brother,” he said.
Vivian stepped inside their circle, giving him a hug, which he allowed. Sliding her arm through his, she chatted with him as she led him away from Blane and Kathleen.
Kade listened with half an ear, his attention focused on Kathleen as she and Blane talked quietly. She was smiling up at him in a gentle, adoring way that made Kade’s stomach churn. He tossed back the rest of his drink, then excused himself from Vivian to go pour another.
Dinner was torture. He sat down and across the table from Blane and Kathleen. Blane was at the head with Kathleen on his right. Kade drank more than he ate, emptying too many glasses of wine. But no matter how much he drank, he still felt stone cold sober, which sucked. He wanted not to care that Blane whispered in her ear, making her smile. Or that he kept touching her—her hand, her arm, the back of her neck underneath her hair.
He poured himself another glass of wine.
It felt like the night was never going to end and Kade glanced at his watch for the umpteenth time as he followed everyone to the family room. His earlier pleasure that Kathleen had seemed glad to see him had evaporated. She’d been polite, that was all. Blane had been right—Kathleen was nice. Of course she’d want to be on good terms with her boyfriend’s brother.
Kade poured himself an after-dinner scotch, deciding at the last second to pour one for Blane, too, especially when he heard Keaston talking to him.
“…it’s not often—ever, actually—that I’ve seen you take the kind of risks you’ve taken lately, Blane.”
“What do mean?” Kade heard Kathleen ask.
“Robert—” Blane rarely used Keaston’s first name, and when he did, it was never good. Kade uncorked the scotch and poured another shot into Blane’s glass.
“I suppose he hasn’t told you,” Keaston interrupted, “but it took considerable effort on Blane’s part to free your friend and her parents.”
Kade turned around in time to see Kathleen’s face fall.
“You may very well have placed yourself in an extremely vulnerable position,” Keaston continued. “You now owe some very powerful people, Blane.”
Considering how Kade suspected Keaston had his fingers involved in using Sheffield to get Blane to throw this case, the subtle warning wasn’t lost on him. And apparently neither was it lost on Blane.
“That’s enough,” Blane said. Kathleen flinched at the anger in his voice, drawing Kade’s eye. She was pale, the pink flush of her cheeks gone, her mouth pinched with worry. Her body was stiff and she’d drawn into herself, as though Keaston’s words had made her smaller somehow. It made Kade angry. She’d been enjoying herself before, even if it had been with Blane rather than him, and he wanted to see her smile again.
“Now it’s Christmas,” he said, handing Blane the drink he’d poured.
As he’d hoped, Kathleen smiled a little and he heard Mona chuckle. The tension in Kathleen’s body eased as she glanced over to him. Maybe it was his imagination, but he thought he saw a flash of gratefulness in her eyes.
Kathleen and Blane started talking in an undertone again and Kade forced his gaze away, emptying the scotch in his glass with one long swallow. It burned going down, but not enough to rid himself of the ache that only intensified the longer he was in the same room with Blane and Kathleen.
“Play something for us, Blane,” Mona said.
“Oh yes, please do,” Vivian added.
“Only if Kathleen sings,” Blane replied.
That got Kade’s attention and he turned around from the sideboard where he’d been filling his glass yet again.
“No, I can’t possibly,” Kathleen stammered. She was blushing and it was good to see some color in her cheeks again.
“Of course you can,” Blane said. “You have a beautiful voice.”
“Yes, she does.” It was out of his mouth before he’d realized he’d spoken, and he was suddenly aware of a burning desire to hear her sing again. The night she’d done her Britney Spears impression was burned in his mind.
Her eyes met his and her cheeks turned even redder, making him wonder if they were thinking of the same thing. She’d sung, and then he’d kissed her. God, she’d tasted good. Those little pigtails in her hair had made him think of doing things to her that would make her blush hard…then come even harder.
Blane coaxed her into joining him and a few moments later, was playing the introduction to “The Christmas Song.” Her voice was a pure soprano with the texture of warm honey, and it spread over and beneath his skin, soothing his soul. She leaned gracefully against the piano as she sang, her body gradually relaxing until she looked up and their eyes met.
Everyone else melted away and Kade was only aware of her. She didn’t look away and it seemed as though she was singing directly to him…for him.
Although it’s been said many times, many ways…Merry Christmas…to you…
The moment was shattered by applause and she started, breaking their gaze. She smiled shyly at the praise, waving away the compliments.
People began to leave and Kade put off his own departure, trying to figure out a way to have a few minutes alone with Kathleen to say goodbye. Blane had hardly left her side, as though he could read Kade’s mind.
She disappeared while he was saying goodbye to Mona and Gerard, leaving him and Blane alone. They didn’t speak, just sat across from one another, sipping on identical crystal glasses with amber fluid. There was tension between them, which was so unusual, Kade wasn’t sure what to do about it. Part of him wanted to reassure Blane that he wasn’t going to try and steal his girl. The other part of him wanted nothing to do with making any such promise.
Kathleen returned in a few minutes, saving the awkward silence, and handed them each a package.
“Merry Christmas!” she said, settling onto the couch.
Kade was so surprised, he didn’t know what to say or do. No one besides Mona and Blane had ever given him a Christmas present. Years ago, his mother had, of course, but he’d had no relationships that lasted long enough to develop an attachment that would prompt a gift at Christmastime. And now Kathleen had done just that, though by the look of it, she’d given the same gift to him and Blane. He couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
“Well, open them,” she prompted, since it appeared the same thought was going through Blane’s head as he’d made no move to open the gift she’d given him either.
He and Blane unwrapped the gifts at about the same pace, and Kade was left staring in astonishment at what he held.
It was Lake Winnipesaukee. It had to be. A small painting depicted the lake on a moonlit night, the waters dark and still. It was beautiful, and thoughtful, and completely unexpected.
&
nbsp; “It’s Lake Winnipesaukee,” she explained to them somewhat anxiously. “Blane said you two used to go there when you were young. I thought you might like it, hoped that it would remind you of good memories you share.”
Kade glanced at what Blane held. It was the same painting, only done in daylight with bright sunlight glistening off rolling waves.
The gifts were so apt, so fitting, that it shamed Kade. She was amazing, beautiful, generous to a fault—commissioned paintings weren’t cheap—and he’d cheapened her worth by trying to work out any way he could possibly be with her. She was above him. So far removed from him it was like an angel in the heavens watching him grovel in the dirt.
It was suddenly hard to swallow.
“You hate it,” she said, sounding utterly crestfallen.
“No, absolutely not,” Blane said. “It’s beautiful, Kat. I hadn’t realized you’d remembered that story.”
Kade cleared his throat. “What story?”
Blane glanced at him. “The time we were diving and I couldn’t find you.”
The memory came back, crystal clear, and Kade laughed. “Ah yes. You were supremely pissed off.”
“More at myself than you,” Blane said.
“Thank you, Kathleen,” he said, making her smile in delight. He now had a new treasured possession.
“I guess it’s time for my gift then,” Blane said, reaching inside his jacket. Pulling out an envelope, he took it to Kathleen, sitting by her on the arm of the sofa.
“But you already gave me something,” she protested.
Kade wondered if he wanted to be there for this, but considering it came in an envelope, it couldn’t be that personal. And he was right.
“You got me front-row tickets and backstage passes to the Britney Spears concert?” Kathleen squealed, gazing at the papers in her hand.
“What else would I give her biggest fan?” Blane asked with a grin.
Her biggest fan. Guess that explained the Halloween costume. Kade wondered if she still had it.
Kathleen hugged Blane, which caused the smile on Kade’s lips to fade. It wasn’t that personal, but it’d been a helluva gift. No way could he top that. Then Blane handed him the perfect opportunity.
“Just don’t expect me to go with you,” Blane said.
“That’s fine,” Kathleen said, sinking back to the sofa. “I’m sure I can find someone else to go with me.”
“I’ll go,” Kade said.
“Really?” Kathleen wasn’t looking at either of them, so intent was she on studying the tickets and passes. “It’s in July.”
“Absolutely.”
Blane glanced quizzically at him. “Why would you do that? You suddenly a Spears fan?”
The concert was in July. It was December. Seven months was an awfully optimistic timeframe for Blane. Odds were he’d be long gone from Kathleen’s life by the time spring rolled around, much less summer.
“I don’t mind taking Kathleen to see her favorite pop star,” Kade said. “In the middle of the summer, I’m thinking it’ll be steaming hot, right, Blane? We’ll have a few drinks, enjoy the show. Maybe Kathleen will even wear her Britney outfit again.”
God, he could see it now. Sweat trickling down between her breasts, the heat of her skin if he pressed his hand to her bared abdomen, the heated wetness between her legs…fucking heaven on earth. If Blane wanted to give that up, that was his call. But Kade wasn’t going to hide the fact that Kathleen wouldn’t be alone for long once Blane dumped her.
Blane was glaring at him, anger clenching his jaw. Kade merely twisted his lips in a smirk. The tension was back tenfold between them, so much so that even Kathleen felt it. She glanced up from the tickets.
“What? What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing, Kat,” Blane said, finally glancing away. “I think I’m going to call it a night. May I help you upstairs?”
And that effectively ended Kade’s hopes of getting Kathleen alone. He was absolutely certain that there’d be no sneaking into her room tonight, not after Blane had seen him leave this morning.
Kade got to his feet as Kathleen approached him. Stretching up on her toes, she wrapped her arms around his neck for a hug. Kade automatically slid his arms around her waist. Even though he didn’t like people touching him, it seemed the rule didn’t hold for Kathleen, who of course had no idea.
“Merry Christmas,” she said, giving him a squeeze.
Blane was watching. He and Kade’s eyes met. Neither of them blinked or looked away as Kade hugged Kathleen in return.
“Merry Christmas, princess,” Kade said softly in her ear, brushing a kiss to the top of her head.
Blane helped her upstairs and Kade watched them go. He could tell by the way Blane touched the small of her back that Kathleen’s room would be empty tonight.
Why he stuck around, he didn’t know. Maybe because he was a masochist and just wanted to torture himself. Thank God he couldn’t hear anything. The house was too big and Blane’s room too far away for that. But he didn’t need the soundtrack—he could see it all inside his head.
He drank some more—he didn’t know or care what it was exactly—and tossed aside the jacket he’d worn. He never did feel right in a suit. It was as if his body knew it hadn’t been born to wear them, like Blane had. The shirt felt too tight and confining, so he unbuttoned and rolled back the cuffs.
Sitting in a chair in the darkened room, Kade stared into the fireplace. The tree was still lit in the corner. The only sounds were the crackle of the fire and the clink of the ice in his glass as he drank.
He became lost in thought as he sat there, his imagination painting images of him with Kathleen instead of Blane. It took on a dreamy quality, the alcohol finally doing its job and muddling his thoughts. But rather than dulling his need for her, it only made it grow and sharpen into a double-sided blade that dug into his gut.
Kade didn’t know if he was dreaming or awake when Kathleen floated into the room, ethereal and lovely in her white nightgown. She walked to stand in front of the fireplace, the flames clearly illuminating her body through the thin fabric. The sound of her soft sigh reached his ears and Kade squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, forcing away the vodka-induced lethargy so he could take advantage of this unexpected opportunity he’d just been handed.
“I thought no creature was supposed to be stirring,” he said, startling her.
She turned around, squinting to try and find him in the darkness. “I didn’t realize anyone was still up,” she said. Her voice was hushed, as though afraid she’d wake someone. Blane, perhaps? Had she left his bed and come in search of Kade? A wild hope rose in him at the thought and he stood, set aside his empty glass, and walked over to her.
The fire lit her from behind, making her hair glow and her eyes seem luminous, as though lit from within. In his half-inebriated state, Kade could almost believe she had a light inside her, shining from her soul through her eyes.
“It’s so not a good idea for you to be down here,” he murmured, and he didn’t know if he was talking to her or himself. Self-control seemed a distant memory.
“Why?” she asked, studying him. “Are you drunk?”
“I wish I were. It would be easier.” Or maybe it wouldn’t. Alcohol only made him more acutely aware of what he didn’t have, and would never have.
“What would be easier?”
“Leaving.”
Her eyes widened. “You’re leaving again?”
Was he imagining the dismay in her voice because he wanted it to be there?
His lips twisted. “Duty calls.” He needed to gather more evidence on Keaston before presenting it to Blane—or simply going behind Blane’s back and confronting Keaston himself. No need to disillusion Blane unless absolutely necessary.
“What duty?” she asked.
“Something I found on Ryan’s phone. I need to look into it.”
“Did you find out who he was working for?”
“Maybe,” he hedged. “If I
’m right—and I really hope I’m not—then it affects Blane in a major way. I have to find out the truth.”
“Protecting Blane,” she mused quietly. “You’re a good brother, Kade.”
Good. A word that should never, could never, be used to describe him. Her view of him was skewed by her own goodness, painting him in strokes of integrity and loyalty, which was so far from the truth as to be laughable. He was drawn in shades of black—menacing, remorseless, deadly. Whereas Kathleen…she was pure gold.
“I don’t know if that’s true anymore,” he said. The thought of gold reminded him, and he reached into his pocket. “I didn’t have a chance to give you my present.”
Taking her hand in his, he turned it palm up and deposited his mother’s locket on a new chain he’d bought. The jeweler had polished the antique locket to a brilliant shine.
She seemed stunned, staring down at the necklace. “Kade, you didn’t have to—”
“I wanted to,” he said, cutting her off. Reaching down, he opened the locket. She gasped.
“How…how did you…” She stopped speaking, just stared at the tiny photo of her parents Kade had copied and placed inside, covering the photo of himself as a child beneath it.
“Turn around,” he said, taking the necklace from her.
She turned and lifted her hair so he could fasten the clasp. The necklace was perfect, the locket nestling right above her cleavage. She placed a hand over it.
Kade didn’t want to stop touching her, so he rested his hands on her shoulders. Their bodies were close, nearly touching, and he inhaled, savoring the scent of her one more time.
“I wish you would stay.”
He barely heard her whisper, then she turned back to him, raising her eyes to his. He’d give her anything if she asked, but staying…staying might just kill him.
“I can’t,” he said roughly. “Do you think I’m blind? Blane wants you back. If I stay, I’ll have to watch you and him together. Don’t ask me to do that.” Blunt honesty wasn’t usually his thing, but the instinct for survival was strong. If she wanted him to stay, he’d be helpless to deny her, but it would drive him insane.
