by Sadie Moss
I watched his chest rise and fall gently, an all-too-familiar sick feeling tightening my stomach.
Whoever was hunting for the Resistance headquarters was attempting to find it through me. I couldn’t undo the damage that was already done, but I could make their job a little harder.
I could leave.
Chapter 18
As soon as the thought passed through my mind, my entire body chilled, as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water over me.
I didn’t want to leave.
Though I’d only been a member of the Resistance for a short while, it was the first time in my life I felt such a strong sense of belonging and purpose, as if this was what I was born to do.
But it was that exact same sense of purpose urging me to leave now, to protect the people here at all costs. And to protect the group of men who had burst into my life with the force of an exploding bomb, changing everything I thought I knew about myself and the world. Until I could figure out a way to remove this tracking charm, I was a hazard to everyone around me. Staying here, continuing to put the Resistance base in more danger than I already had, just because I wanted to, was selfish and small.
Rubbing my arms to banish the goose bumps creeping over my skin, I glanced over at Asprix. His mouth hung open slightly. He looked peaceful in sleep, and I hoped the men wouldn’t be too hard on him for letting me slip away.
Corin will despise you forever if you go, a voice whispered in the back of my head. I shoved it down. If he and the others were safe, his hatred was a price I was willing to pay. But I had to move quickly, before they returned from their talks with Christine.
I scrunched my eyes shut and reached for the magic burning low inside me. The high emotions ricocheting through my body made concentrating difficult, and it took several deep breaths before I was able to relax enough to let the power flow through me. Then, just like I’d practiced with Jae, I envisioned myself in my mind’s eye and scrubbed gently at the image, as if rubbing out a pencil sketch with an eraser. When I was finally satisfied, I opened my eyes and blinked down at myself.
My body looked just the same as it had before.
I wasn’t sure why I even bothered to check. Jae had explained that illusion and invisibility spells didn’t appear to the caster, only to outside observers. My mind was the one that created the illusion, so it couldn’t be fooled. Unfortunately, that meant there was no way for me to tell if the spell had actually taken effect.
Gods, I hope it worked.
Not wanting to waste another second, I stood and nudged the curtain aside, peering into the main room. People were spread throughout the large space, talking and eating, but no one glanced my way. I slipped out, careful to avoid bumping into a short, stocky woman who walked past. Her gaze slid right through me, and I breathed a silent sigh of relief. Jae was a good teacher.
I found the guardroom near the entrance easily and hovered outside, waiting for an opportunity. After a few minutes, a large blond man pushed through the door, a woman with a long brown braid wrapped around her head following him. Before the door swung closed behind them, I darted through it.
Inside the entry room, the four Blighted guards settled back into a watchful stillness. I held my breath as I tiptoed across the room.
“What is it, Bronwen?” A male voice behind me made me freeze.
“I can still feel the magic from that Gifted woman. Gives me the creeps.”
“Yeah, me too. Don’t know why Christine let her in here. I don’t trust her one bit.”
“Eh, I dunno,” a third voice piped in. “The other one’s not so bad. Hell, if they can help us, why not—”
I didn’t wait to hear the rest, slipping into the dark tunnel leading to the portals. Navigating the passages without the aid of Jae’s light was difficult, and I wasted another few minutes agonizing between two portals, trying to decide which was the one we’d come through. They all looked the same to me. Finally, I stepped through the one on the left, breathing a sigh of relief when I recognized the supply closet.
I let the invisibility spell fade as I hustled down the stairs. Outside the tall brick building, I yanked open my car’s passenger door and popped open the glove box, then rooted around inside. My hand finally closed on what I sought—a small glass cylinder. My last transport spell. I’d kept it in my car in case I ever got pulled over by Peacekeepers and things went south.
Setting it on the ground, I lifted my heel and stomped down sharply, shattering the cylinder. Purple smoke billowed out, enveloping me in a hazy cloud.
As the smoked cleared, the familiar dingy walls of my apartment came into view. The TV was on, blaring a magical reality show at an unbelievable volume as Ivy watched raptly. Good gods, it was a miracle my neighbors hadn’t broken down the door and stormed the place.
“Ivy! Volume! Please!”
I had to shout over the sound of the television, and the ghost’s translucent head whipped toward me.
“Lana! You’re back!” Her face lit up as she clapped her hands lightly.
Deciding not to wait for her to attempt to lower the volume with her incorporeal fingers, I darted forward and snatched up the remote, mashing the button down until I could hear myself think again.
Ivy watched me the entire time, and as I tossed the remote back down on the couch, she said, “You look different.”
I sighed, running a hand over my half dress. “Yeah, well, my wardrobe selection got a little slim.”
She kneeled on the couch, leaning over the back to get a closer look at me. “No, that’s not what I mean. You’re… glowing.”
My eyebrows shot up. Had something gone wrong with my invisibility spell? I thought I’d let it drop, but maybe I’d somehow gone too far the other way and added a glow to myself? I glanced down at my body but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are!” she insisted, pointing to my belly. “It’s strongest right there, but it spreads all over you.”
Oh. She was talking about my magic. She could see it.
I walked around the couch and sat next to her, leaning back and letting my body sink into the lumpy, springy cushions. “Um, it’s been a long couple of weeks. A few things have changed, and this glow is one of them.”
Ivy nodded thoughtfully, brushing a strand of her sleek blonde bob back into place. “Is another one how sad you are?”
I tilted my head to look at her. “What?”
“You seem very sad. You don’t look good, if I’m being honest.”
“Hey!” I batted at her, making sure not to let my hand actually pass through her. It wouldn’t hurt her, but touching a ghost always gave me the chills.
“Not like that!” She leaned back, as if trying to get a more complete picture of me. “Although you don’t look good in that way either. But you look… I don’t know, like you’re missing something important?”
My heart contracted painfully. I was missing something important. Four pieces of my soul, to be exact. Four sets of eyes that had wormed their way into my heart. Four men who were as different as the four seasons, but who had each become an integral part of my life. Hell, I even missed Akio.
You can go back to them, I told myself, trying to ease the ache in my chest. As soon as you remove the tracking spell, you can go back.
A mean little voice in the back of my head reminded me that’s exactly what I’d thought when I left Wyoming. But even after Edgar died and I was free to go wherever I wanted, I hadn’t been able to work up the courage to go back and look for Corin. It had been too long by then; I’d changed too much. And like a coward, I’d been too afraid to face the consequences of my actions.
Fighting a rising wave of self-disgust, I pressed up from my slouch. “I’m okay, Ivy. Thanks for worrying though, it’s sweet of you. I’m going to go change.”
I stood slowly and trudged to my room, my limbs feeling like lead. My mood brightened briefly as I sorted through my meager wardrobe, picking o
ut a pair of soft dark-wash jeans and a black tank top. But as soon as I was dressed like myself again, darkness settled back over me like a storm cloud. I sank down on the bed, rubbing a hand absently over my heart, as if I could massage away the pain.
Was this awful feeling an effect of the bond straining as I was separated from my four? Or was it simply because I missed them? It was becoming harder and harder to separate my feelings for the men from the magical bond that connected me to them.
Did it even really matter? Regardless of the reason, I had become attached to them in a way I’d never expected, and there was no way to talk my body, mind, and soul out of yearning for them.
Sadness and exhaustion hit me like a right hook, and I curled up on the bed, pulling a pillow over my head.
I’d give myself an hour to wallow in self-pity, but then I was going to hunt down the bastard who put this tracking charm on me and break it—and them.
When I opened my eyes again, all I saw was darkness.
I blinked, shoving off the pillow I had buried my head under in my sleep. But the darkness remained.
Shit. What time was it?
There were so few working streetlights left in this neighborhood that only the watery blue light of the moon filtered into my room. It took several moments for my eyes to adjust to the dark, and even then, all I could make out were vague shadows. Something had woken me. But what?
I strained my ears, trying to pick up any unusual sounds. The TV still droned on, filling the apartment with ambient noise, but that was all I could hear.
Sliding off the bed, I padded to the living room in bare feet. The lights were off in here too, and Ivy’s ghostly form was pale in the TV’s flickering glow.
“Ivy?” I whispered.
“Hmm?” Her gaze was locked on the TV, where a middle-aged woman showed off a set of glittering bangle bracelets made of magic stones that apparently made the skin of her hands smoother. Another woman exclaimed over the jewelry’s beauty and value, reminding the audience that the set was available now for a low, low price.
“Ivy!” I hissed again.
“Hmm?”
“Did you hear anything just now?”
She muttered something that sounded like a “no,” although I wasn’t sure that meant much. If it wasn’t coming out of the TV, I doubted she’d notice a five-piece band marching through here.
“Forget it.” I stood stock-still, one hand braced on the back of the couch.
Then I heard it.
Soft footsteps outside.
Low voices.
Shit. Had whoever was tracking me found me already? I’d made it easier for them by going someplace unprotected by any concealment spells.
Then again, they’d made my job easier too, saving me the trouble of hunting them down. We could have this fight right here, right now.
I darted back into the bedroom and pulled a dagger from the rickety bedside table. The blade was slightly curved, and it was longer than my other daggers. Flipping it in my grip, I crept back into the living room, glad for the sound cover the TV provided. The two women were still gushing over the same damn bracelets, their artificially cheerful voices filtering through my apartment.
Ivy didn’t even look up as I tiptoed to the door. Flattening myself to the wall beside it, I reached slowly for the handle as the footsteps in the hall grew louder.
When they stopped outside, I yanked the door open with a quick jerk and lunged forward, dagger raised.
Chapter 19
“Lana, no!”
A pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist, hauling me away from—
Akio?
The incubus’s widened eyes narrowed to slits as he scowled at me and the dagger I still held raised in my right hand.
“Why does this all seem so familiar?” he drawled.
“Akio?” I could already tell who was behind me, but I twisted in his arms to look anyway. “Fenris?”
The wolf shifter grinned, releasing his grip. “Hey, killer. You really think we’d let you get away that easily?” He called softly down the hall, “Guys! We found her!”
“I—”
My half-formed thought was interrupted by the sight of Jae and Corin rounding the corner. Corin stormed toward me, his features twisted in rage, his blue eyes blazing. Unconsciously, I retreated a few steps, slipping back into my apartment. He followed, hitting the door so hard it banged off the wall. He stalked forward, invading my space, looming over me.
“Again?” His voice was almost unrecognizable it was so full of anger and pain. “Is this your fucking signature move? Sneaking out when no one’s watching like some kind of godsdamned ghost?”
“Hey!” Ivy put her hands on her hips indignantly. She’d turned around on the couch to watch us; apparently, the spectacle of four men bursting into my apartment was better entertainment than a late-night infomercial.
Corin didn’t even spare a glance for the ghost. He was breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling like he’d run all the way here, and his eyes were locked on me. The other three men gathered behind him, watching silently.
“Well?” he demanded in a choked voice. “Aren’t you going to tell us it was for our own good? That you had to leave? That it was all part of some noble plan to save us?”
I straightened my spine, despite the overbearing pressure of his presence so close to me. “It was. I—”
“You don’t get to decide that!” The muscles in his neck strained as he clenched his fists by his sides. When he spoke again, the volume was lower, but the intensity was just as strong. “You. Don’t. Get to decide that. And no matter what you tell yourself about it being for our own good, I promise you, it’s not.”
“So you’d rather I put you in danger? Just because it hurts to leave?” I snapped.
“I want the choice, Lana! I want to be able to decide to make a sacrifice for you like you’re so willing to do for me. I want us to fucking trust each other, to face the world and whatever shit it throws at us together!” He gestured to the three shadowed figures behind him. “These men have been my teammates for three years. I would kill for them. I would die for them. And I would never leave them behind. They’re my team. My family. They know what that fucking means. Do you?”
I swallowed, my mouth dry. My skin felt too tight, stretched over my muscles and bones like a drum. I stared up at the man who had marched into my darkened apartment like a whirlwind of anger—but suddenly, all I could see was the boy who had woken up one morning to find the love of his life gone without a trace. The panic, the confusion, the soul-crushing loss that boy had experienced danced like a horrible echo across Corin’s face in the dim light of the TV.
Tears welled and ran down my face, mirroring the ones that slid over Corin’s flushed cheeks. The dagger dropped from my hand, but the clatter as it hit the floor barely reached my ears.
He shook his head, brushing a hand over his eyes.
“You broke my heart when you left me and Margie behind, Lana. You broke it again today. Do it one more time, and there’ll be nothing left.”
“I… I’m sorry, Corin. I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my lips trembling.
Grabbing me roughly, Corin pulled me into his arms, enveloping me in a hug so tight I could barely breathe. I didn’t care. Oxygen hardly seemed important right now.
“Don’t you understand?” he murmured after a moment, his voice rumbling in my ear as I pressed my cheek to his chest. “When I say we’re better off together no matter what, I mean it. And I will always mean it. I would rather die by your side than live without you.”
His words cracked my heart, but the pain felt good. Like a broken limb being reset so it could heal properly.
“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” My words were muffled against his chest.
“Then stop fucking running off on me,” Corin shot back with a slight chuckle before lifting my chin. “I don’t want to see you get hurt either. None of us do. That’s why we’ve gotta stick together, right?
So we can protect each other.”
I nodded, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand as I pulled away. I hadn’t felt this girly in a long time, but strangely, I wasn’t embarrassed about it in the presence of these four.
My ghost roommate still watched us intently, her brown doe eyes wide. The light from the abandoned TV flickered over the faces of the men in front of me, highlighting their features in blues and grays.
I shot a glance at Akio.
“Sorry about the….” I picked up the dagger, gesturing to it limply before setting it on the little table by the door.
He rolled his eyes. “I’m growing used to it.”
I guessed his half acceptance of my half apology was about as good as we were going to get. I felt connected to Akio as strongly as to the others, but a wall still existed between us that I wasn’t sure how to break through.
“I’m with Corin, killer.” Fenris pulled me into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. His body was firm and warm, and I let my hands skate over the strong muscles of his back before pulling away awkwardly. “Don’t ever scare us like that again. I thought I’d go out of my mind when we came back and you were gone. Akio was so worked up he practically yanked all his hair out, and nobody needs a bald incubus.”
Akio snorted, but he wouldn’t meet my gaze when I looked over at him. Had he really been that worried about me? Something in my chest felt warm and gooey at the thought.
I drew back suddenly, taking in the four of them. “Wait. How the hell did you find me, anyway?”
Jae’s lips tilted in his calm smile. “That was Fenris’s doing.”
“Yup. You told me all about where you live, remember? Including that creepy-as-fuck clown mural on the front of the building. We asked around, and one of the Resistance members used to rent a place around here. He knew what I was talking about as soon as I said ‘magic clown’ and told us how to get here.”
