Why be a fool, suffer illusions
Lives are entwined by His decree
One body, one soul
One breath …
Who’s crying for whom?’
Mabibi sat thinking: a luckless life is like an endless night. The image of her own besotted husband, maddened by a prostitute’s love, came to her mind and she was moved to tears.
Chachi Mehri removed the shawl from her face and patted Mabibi lovingly. ‘Na dhiye, don’t you cry for such a witless husband. He’ll get beatings with torn slippers from God and will return to you, here. Remember what I’ve said, always.’
‘Chachi, when Thanedar Salamat Ali comes to our village this time, ask Shahji to speak on my behalf. Perhaps his threats and admonishments might make my man walk the right path.’
‘Mabibi, these things are solved not by men’s moustaches, but by God’s slippers. Listen to me, your witless one will either return home by this winter, or otherwise the lunatic will be forever lost in the streets and corners of Besva.’
‘Chachi, I’ve heard that the prostitute bitch is from Hindostan. If she’s taken my man across the five rivers, then he won’t return to me in this life.’
‘Shut up ri, or speak good. Lovers don’t stake their hearts on beautiful clothes. And prostitutes love only coins. Repulsed from every door, he will come back to you.’
‘Let what you say be the sweet truth, Chachi! Let him be tied to me through these words only! Chachi, tell me one thing. You look sad. Why are you singing songs of renunciation?’
In the glow of the lamp, Chachi’s features flickered like a flame, and for an instant it was as if the young Mehran of Ganpat Shah came and sat in her stead. The beauty spot tattooed on her chin shone. ‘Ari, maya-moh, love of the times and people long gone, what else? Mabibi, the souls of the dead don’t go anywhere! They travel as much in the after life as in life.’
‘Chachi, don’t be superstitious.’
‘Listen, Mabibi, when a row of labourers sat down in the courtyard, I looked down from the balcony. Suddenly it seemed like a season from times long past. I saw my handsome shah, in his own son’s garb, standing at the doorstep. Ari, the self-same elegant attire, the same curly hair. Face like my own son.’
‘Chachi, what kind of riddle is this?’
‘Mabibi, our heart is the mirror that shows what it desires, the maya-darpan. Ari, the son who was never to enter my womb, he stood before my eyes, incarnate! In that one moment, I met both father and son. Then he vanished in the blink of an eye.’
‘Then?’
‘Ari, what then? When I tried calling my man, the Sultan of the fishermen stood before my eyes.’
‘Chachi, I’ve heard that our Shah was a man of delicate sensibilities –’
‘He had the fair-skinned, sharp features of the Shahs, and dressed as grandly as a judge.’
‘Chachi, my mother used to say that Mehri and Ganpat Shah’s love story was sung in every house …’
Chachi Mehri laughed so gaily that the dusk turned to dawn once again. ‘Mabibi, time is the ruler of all rulers. There was a time when our love ruled time. My Shah made me stand before a crowded courtroom. The well-known and respected clan of my ex-in-laws came in full strength to the Gujrat courts: public, crowds, as far as eyes could see!’
‘Chachi, you stood before the crowds without covering your face?’
‘What else! Once your love is known, what’s left to hide? I was summoned before the judge. The advocate asked, “Respected Mehri, state without fear how and with what methods Shah abducted you, and turned you off your husband’s family and clan, so that you lost your good sense and control?”’
‘What did you say then, Chachi?’
‘I lifted my eyes and viewed the full court. I saw only two men. One, my own Shah, and second, the respected judge of the court. The rest, to me, were so many turbans. I spoke fearlessly, “Sahibji, it’s been three years since I was widowed. Let the court understand that neither do I play with dolls, nor am I sixteen years old. I am of age. I am aware of what is for my own good and what is not. Of my own will, I have crossed the threshold of the Sardars.” The mischief-monger lawyer of my in-laws still didn’t stop. Asked, “Is it true that Ganpat Shah enticed you with promises of a good life and took you across the river with the help of hoodlums?”
‘Mabibiye, I lifted my head and looked straight at my Shah. What I saw in those eyes had my body and soul burning in sweet warmth. The in-laws’ family was spoiling for a fight. Kept pushing their lawyer. He said, “The whole family and clan of your dead husband, lands, gold jewellery, fine clothes – you are the daughter-in-law of a rich house. Don’t turn your back on all this.” Then the judge asked me, “Musammat Mehri, do you want to say something?” I said, “Sarkar, I have nothing to do with questions and answers. I belong to the Shah family, body and soul. Now whether I live or die, it’s with them.”
‘That was it; the judge gave the decision in my favour. I bowed my head before him. “Justice was done, Sahab Bahadur! This was the decision of Rabb in heaven that was delivered through you.”
‘Then my supporters in the Shah family gathered round us. May the father of these Shahs rest in heaven! He showed me full affection. Put his hand on my head in blessing and called for the horses to take me home. In the meantime, I saw my youngest brother-in-law cleaving through the crowds and standing before me. Touching my feet, he spoke in a choked voice, “The elders may care about things like family respect but bharjaaee, home won’t be home without you. To me, only you are the maharani of the house.”
‘I speak the truth, Mabibi. When that child touched me, I started to tremble. When my Shah saw me in deep waters, he patted little Sahib Singh and drew me aside. “Let go, let go, child; we are getting late.” I couldn’t stand and watch. I pulled Sahib Singh close, breathed in the scent of his forehead and said, “Sahib Singh, you are yet a child, you won’t understand! These comings and goings of past karmas, no one has control over them. Someone gets his due for past karmas, and someone pays for them.” Sahib Singh took hold of my shawl. “Don’t go, don’t go leaving me, bharjaaee! If you don’t put food in my mouth, I won’t be able to swallow.” The next moment my elder brother-in-law, Malkiat Singh – I speak his name, may Rabb forgive me for this wrong – twisted Sahib Singh’s arm and shoved him aside. “Badida, before beseeching a characterless woman who has stepped out of her house, why didn’t you die first!” Sahib Singh lay keeping on the road till our horses moved off!’
Chachi Mehri sighed deeply. ‘Ari Mabibi, let everything be well in my previous house. I don’t know why I remembered that family today. Why should I lie, I lacked for nothing in that house. Lands. Overflowing granaries. Cows, buffaloes, and strong as pillars my devar-jeth, younger and older brothers-in-law! Capricious fate, what else? Once I was with Shah, I never could leave him!’
‘Chachi, did you ever have regrets?’
‘Na ri. Life gave me every happiness in the Shah family. He was one strong bull of a man. During the day I submitted to him and at night he submitted to me. Fruits of the seasons and springs as our fates willed it. Mabibi, these were not the flirtations of callow youth, this was destiny’s writ that caught up with us at the fair of Nanowal.’
‘Chachi, tell me how the Shah got you to fall in love with him!’
‘Destiny’s play! The first look Shah sent my way immediately entangled with mine; this body and the family-clan were rocked to their foundations. Such a moment that both our feet were shackled by fate!’
Mabibi thought of something else. ‘Chachi, if Shah had given you a child as his namesake, then you would’ve lacked for nothing!’
Chachi Mehri started wiping her eyes. ‘Ari, Shah has left me to listen to this. He made sure I lacked for nothing. But ri, when it was my Shah’s time to leave me, he stared silently at the door of the pasaar. I would get up every few minutes to check if he weren’t seeing the yamadoots, the messengers of the God of death, who had come to fetch my husband. I wept
and begged, “Say something at least, my mate! How will Mehri live without you!”
‘Mabibi, hearing my voice, my Shah seemed to regain consciousness. Ran his eyes over me as if passing judgement. “Mehran, you made my life, my world wonderful. But you didn’t secure the bloodline. As soon as I close my eyes, the line of my ancestors will come to an end.” Listening to him I wept tears of regret. But ri, what could be done? Shah went to the next dargah and I stayed behind to settle my debts!’
Chachi started wiping her eyes with her dupatta. ‘Mabibi, this body, this heart has gone through this anguish; that’s why my heart bleeds for my girl. Let Baba Farid bestow His grace and let her nestle a child in her lap. If I am right, then that day there were omens of happiness for my girl in Baba’s darbar!’
‘Chachi, how do you know this? If I had a chance, I would also like to visit there and make a wish at least once.’
‘Listen, Mabibiye, when we reached there, there were throngs of people. After the prayers, my girl was the first to get prasad! Baba Farid is the keeper of all the best forces. It was a miracle!’
‘Chachi, whenever you go to Gujrat, taking the mare, I’ll also go to have darshan at the high gods’ place!’
‘Ari, if we want darshan of the high gods we will go to Pakpattan itself.’
Chachi’s thoughts strayed. ‘Mabibi, let all be well in the Singh household. I don’t know why my heart is anxious. That little Sahib Singh never strayed far from my eyes. Beautiful features and light eyes. May God protect him! Hai ri! How could I have been so hard-hearted! Not once did I inquire after their welfare. God’s truth, you only have the fortune of meeting the living. After death, with whom will you talk and to whom complain!’
As the sun set, Shah’s white horse, Badshah, stopped in front of the stables of Jota Singh of Bajurgawal.
Chiraga offered a hand as Chachi took her feet out of the stirrups and dismounted. She was clad in a sober salwar-kameez and wrapped in a Pashmina shawl.
‘Chirag puttar, go inside the haveli and inform them. Tell them, Laddikki has come from the Shah family.’
Seating Chachi on the raised platform, Chirag went to the door and called out, ‘Guests from the Shah family!’
Someone looked down from the balcony above. ‘Who do you ask for?’
‘Salaam Ji, I’ve brought Chachi Mehri!’
Chachi said, ‘Tell them, Laddikki has come!’ using the name by which she was known in her ex-in-laws’ house.
Malkiat Singh’s wife Kudrat Kaur stared uncomprehendingly for a while, then asked, surprised, ‘From Peeroshahi family, is it?’
‘Na Ji. His bharjaaee has come to meet Sardar Sahib Singhji!’
‘Okay, okay. Did the letter reach Banta Singh’s family?’
‘Sardarniji, come downstairs. The respected guest is very, very tired.’
Kudrat Kaur came down in a soft salwar-kameez; her fair colour was combined with ample breasts and an imposing bulk. The top few loops of her kurta were unlaced and the size of her chest suggested she had suckled at least a dozen children. ‘Who! Who is it, re?’
Chachi Mehri got up from the platform. When she opened her arms wide for a hug, Kudrat Kaur recognized her and slapped her own forehead. ‘Phitte moonh ri, shame on you! Laddikkiye, you, girl! Have you lost your senses? Ari, why have you come here now with a shock of white hair? Who is there to fuss around you in this house, this village?’
Chachi Mehri leaned towards her and said, ‘Kudrat, I didn’t come here of my own free will. Yesterday night when I was chanting the Sukkhamani Saheb, Vaheguru showed a mirror to my heart that whispered, “Mehriye, Sahib Singh awaits you. Forget the past and future, go and see him!’’’
Kudrat Kaur looked at her penetratingly and then her eyes brimmed. ‘Laddikkiye ri, Sahib Singh is not well.’
Crossing the threshold, Chachi climbed the veranda. ‘Which hall is graced by my Sahib’s presence?’
‘Here. In the baithak with mirrors.’
Sahib Singh lay in the glow of the diyas with his eyes shut. Sitting close by were his wife Santo and in red ivory wedding bangles, his daughter Basanto.
Chachi bent over Sahib Singh, placed a hand on his forehead, and said, ‘Main sadke jaoon! Sahib Singh, look who has come!’
Sahib Singh opened his eyes. ‘Who? Whose voice is this?’
‘Don’t you recognize me, Sahiba re? I’m Laddikki, your bhabhi.’ With tearful eyes, Chachi Mehri kissed Sahib Singh’s forehead. He had a small knot of white hair on the top of his head.
She touched his brow to check his temperature. ‘What’s the disease? The treatment?’
‘Chronic dysentery. The treatment of Hakim of Alamgarh.’
‘Why didn’t you take Sahib to a hospital?’
Kudrat Kaur started weeping softly. ‘What can I do, all alone? Younger and older brother are fighting court cases in Lahore, and the youngest is away on trade in Kabul. The only man at home is Sahib Singh. Yesterday, when I was beside myself with anxiety, I sent a mare to get Basanto. Come Basanto, meet your Aunt.’
Resplendent in the red ivory bangles of a newlywed, Basanto came forward for a hug. Mehri caressed her head. ‘In God’s protection. May Rabba bestow rich fates on you.’
Santo put her head on her older sister-in-law’s shoulder and started sobbing.
‘Who’s there, Santo, who is there? Whose blessings are you seeking? Even if you gather a sackful of blessings I won’t be saved.’
Hearing Sahib speak, Chachi Mehri immediately took over. ‘Sister Kudrat, bring some batashas and fresh water from the well. I will bring Sahib Singh back to good health this instant.’
Chachi dissolved the batashas in a bowl of water and put them to Sahib Singh’s lips. The weak body found some strength.
Raising his head from the pillow, Sahib Singh held his bharjaaee’s hand. ‘I was alive to see this moment, otherwise I would’ve gone long ago.’
‘Sahib Singh, speak good words only. God will show mercy. You will start walking in a few days.’
In the glow of the diya, Sahib Singh stared at his sister-in-law’s face. Then called out to his wife, Santo, ‘Ask bharjaaee, will I ever walk again?’
Chachi gave him a hard stare and said in a strong voice, ‘Listen re, open your ears and listen. If your health doesn’t improve then I’ll stake my cot in this very room. Sant Kaur, bring some cow’s ghee and foreign liquor.’ Chachi began briskly massaging his hands and feet to warm them. Covering him with a sheet, she asked, ‘Shall I massage some ghee on your head if you can’t sleep?’
‘Na, that’s enough for today!’
‘Get up, Sant Kaur, lie down and straighten your back. I am sitting here.’
Basanto started pressing her tai’s feet.
‘Tell me, daughter, are you happy in your new home?’
‘Yes, tai.’
‘Your mother-in-law and father-in-law are good to you?’
‘Good.’
‘And your husband?’
‘Him too!’ Basanto started blushing.
‘Good ri, good. Enjoy and thrive! Taste the sweetness of life and earn a good name from all.’
Kudrat Kaur brought a plate of food for Mehri and as she took the first mouthful, her eyes filled with tears. ‘Hain ri, sister Kudrat, when two times meet, one is supposed to tell some story, some akhyan. Neither am I the same, nor are the times. But, by Vaheguru’s grace, this haveli stands as before.’
When Santo saw the plate shaking in her jithani’s hand, she steadied it with her own. ‘Bharjaaee, this whole family on one side, your devar on the other. When I came after getting married to him, he would talk of you so often. He never forgot your mothering, nor the times he shared with you.’
Chachi Mehri started to cry. ‘Sant Kaur, Rabb is my witness. Whenever I put butter-ghee on roti, I remember my little Sahib Singh pulling my dupatta. “Bharjaaee, a little more. A bit more. Give me more.’’
‘I used to cry in secret, didn’t tell Shah. Hundreds of quarrels-enmities, all righ
t, but ri, what kind of grouse is this, that human beings should pine for just a glimpse of others while alive?’
‘I say, when I heard news of your Shah’s death, I suffered in my heart for you. But ri, I couldn’t prevail upon the men. Begged a thousand times with all the brothers. I folded my hands before Joravar, but to no avail. He made me swear upon his head never to ask again and closed all doors.’
‘May these brothers live and wake every morn. Who can tie one’s mind? It flows where it will. I could’ve come too, but ri, the fate’s ordain, all is His writ.’
Many hours later, when Chachi lay down in the room with colourful windows, scenes from her past filled her thoughts. Pushing the memories of Shah aside, Deedar Singh, her first husband, came and stood before her. Tickled his bride and said, ‘I’ve heard people are talking about this Mehri mutiyar!’
Bride Mehri trilled with laughter. Then batting her eyelashes she flirted, ‘Haan ji, the daughter of Bagga Sardars of Madina got married in the family of Kakke sardars of Bajurgwal; the whole area is resounding with the beat of wedding drums!’
Deedar Singh was enjoying his young bride’s coquettishness. But when he touched her, the distance in their ages became an unbridgeable gap; his past experiences had thinned his blood.
Chachi stirred – Almighty, You do, You decide. I never imagined in my dreams or awake that I would ever sleep in this baithak again. Where is Deedarji now, where is Shahji? Vanished like dreams, the both of them. Chal, Mehriye, while you still breathe, keep alive the memories past!
‘To convince man of the supremacy of God’s nature, Moosa displayed many wondrous spectacles. How tall and luminous the sky! Through the sun, He arranged for light and the cycle of day and night. Laid out the flat earth and established mountains on it. Showered rain from the sky and grew plants on the earth. If one imagines the smooth floor as a stretch of earth, then the mountains on it would be the nails that hold the floor in place. Whatever you may think of the reality of the skies, no one doubts their existence and their might. Every element of the sky is fixed in its designated place. Call out the name of Khuda who looks after those in His protection!’ – Upon Maulviji’s call a thrill went through those present.
Zindaginama Page 6
