Nawab came up to carry food to the fields. When he saw little Lali feeding, he smiled. ‘So our Shah Sahib is busy at work!’
Shahni laughed. ‘He didn’t wake up the whole night. He’s making up for it now.’
‘Shahji has offered his congratulations at Fakira’s,’ Nawab informed. ‘When Babo Mirasan saw Shahji, she promptly started singing Ghodi and promptly got her reward too, the phoney! And Shahni, Fakira’s got it made. One maund of sugar, one maund of rice, and a big pot of ghee. Khairon se, now Fakira can rejoice and share his joy too. Let him feed people sweet ghee rice in health and joy.’
‘Bachchi, go put something on the boy’s palm,’ Chachi called out again. ‘One, he’s Lali’s playmate and two, by name he’s one of your own.’
Putting Lali in Mabibi’s lap, Shahni went into the pasaar and opened her trunk. She took out a few pieces of cloth, put some coconut and dates in her jholi and set out to offer congratulations to the Lohars.
Fakira’s mother Karbhari sat, cradling her grandson in her lap. Tiny black phummanis adorned the infant’s ears. Head shaven clean. Shahni caressed the child’s head and put a coin of auspicious sagun into his hand.
Karbhari looked at Shahni, and laughing, mock-abused her grandson, ‘Thoo, you worthless offspring of a sow! Shahni is giving you a taka with her own hand, and you, bad one, didn’t open your fist. You ingrate, take it, grab it, tuck it in your cloth. If the Shahs’ takas open up your luck, your house will overflow with wealth. Then you will be a true Handa, do you hear?’
Shahni did the child’s sirwarna and handed the coin to Babo. Babo the big-mouth set to ribbing Dadi Karbhari. ‘Look, Shahni, the barber shaved the child’s first jhand, and neither shakkar nor sheerni to sweeten Babo’s mouth! Even on such an auspicious day, Ma Karbhari offers nothing but abuses! Shahni, sometimes she scolds the child – “You fool, just because you’ve got your nose and ears pierced, don’t think you’re not a Musalman! You are a Handa Musalman, do you hear? Be tough and brave and hard-boned like men, or I will kill you myself!”’
Shahni laughed. She prised open the infant’s fist and spat on it to ward off evil. ‘Khair sadke, Baba Farid’s mercies. May you live a long life!’
That evening Husaina arrived at the haveli with a pot of mishri. ‘Lo Shahni, Chachi, sweeten your mouth.’
Chachi Mehri took the pot from her and kissed it. ‘Congratulations, Husaina dhiye! So have your mother in-law Karbhari’s abuses finally subsided? Tell her that I said that once in a while, she should also speak the name of Nabi Rasool into the child’s ear. It shouldn’t be that your son only learns his dadi’s antics and throws about heavy quarter-kilo abuses all around!’
Husaina started laughing. ‘The child is just an excuse, Chachi. Otherwise all of aunt’s choicest abuses are aimed at me!’
‘Leave it, ri, take heart. You are both victims of fate. After a long wait and fervent prayers has this blessed hour arrived. Now don’t tangle with your mother-in-law.’
Shahni broke the mishri into small pieces and put them in a wicker bowl. ‘Le ri Husaina, first the boy’s mother should sweeten her mouth, and then his aunts, chachis and tais.’
But Husaina gestured towards Chachi. ‘First the boy’s grandmother, then his chachis and tais, and then me, Fakira and his mother’s servant-handmaiden!’
Chachi Mehri came and stood near her. ‘If this is in jest, then a hundred times yes. Otherwise child, have patience. Who can change in old age! Karbhari is bound by her nature.’
Mohra’s bebe arrived. Lowering her voice, she said, ‘Husaina, your mother-in-law wasn’t always like this. Since her first husband abandoned her, she has lost her balance. Just abuses and curses the whole time. Then after her nikah with Fakira’s father, she found some solace. But when she got pregnant, Vazeera died of delirium. She is a victim of fate, poor Karbhari.’
Chachi Mehri went and sat down before the spinning wheel. ‘Destiny’s writ, what else! Thank God for your son and ask His protection. Your mother-in-law has waited long to see this hour.’ Chachi called out to Shahni, ‘Bachchi, listen to me. I dozed off while sorting the cotton threads yesterday, and what do I dream – that the weaver has got me dark red khaddar cloth, and, impatient, I am taking out silk skeins from the pouch – that’s it, I woke with a start. My heart says I should begin making phulkaris for both the boys’ brides. Even if I embroider one flower a day, they will be done by the time of their wedding.’
When Shahni looked at Chachi Mehri with strange eyes, Chachi laughed and said, ‘Bachchi, what you think and feel isn’t wrong. Yes, who knows if I’ll live till then or not, isn’t it? After all, this long wait has to end one day.’
‘Chachi, look what you have made of innocent talk!’
Chhoti Shahni came to her jithani’s rescue. ‘Chachi, when the old and older than old Vadde Lala and Nikki bebe are still around, then by His grace, why should you worry?’
‘My eyesight is a bit hazy, but I can see very well from close. Listen to what my heart says – I will start the phulkaris on an auspicious day. If they are embroidered by my hand don’t forget to gift them to your sons’ brides.’
Husaina lifted her hands in prayer. ‘Khudavanda Karim, may Your merciful glance bring that auspicious moment. I’ll definitely wrap my Handa’s bride in the phulkari you embroider. She will come to you first to offer salaam.’
‘Shah Sahib, you have just been to the city. So what’s the latest from the Gujrat bullion market?’
‘Jahandadji, there is just one incident on every tongue – that of Varaich of Madina.’
Chaudhary Fateh Ali asked, ‘Some murder case, is it?’
Shahji cleared all doubts. ‘Not yet. The lover boy has run off with the daughter of the Telis.’
‘Shahji, did you catch the boy’s name? I also know of one Varaich family. They are two brothers, Manda and Samanda.’
‘Looks like the same, Mauladadji. Last year, Manda got life for murder.’
‘Now the matter is clear. Has the Varaich lad been caught? If he’s gotten away then he’s crossed Tallaganj, if caught then he’s in prison.’
‘The important thing to know is whether the girl is of age or not,’ said Fateh Ali. ‘If a man does get caught in this abhorrent deed, either be gutsy and stick it out, or lose and somehow console yourself. And even if the union has been consummated, a year or six months can always be added or subtracted to the girl’s age, this way or that.’
As usual Kakku Khan started retying his turban. ‘In cases like this, one never finds eyewitnesses.’
Shahji caught the other end. ‘The police has to register the case under some criminal act to conduct a thorough investigation.’
Taya Maiyya Singh remembered an old incident. ‘Badshaho, the report is filed later, but first the constable, the havildar and inspector all sweeten their mouths with free sweets.’
‘Tayaji, these are the complications of later on. But first and foremost, what is clear is that love affairs invite dire consequences.’
Maulu occasionally attempted forays into love poetry. He rued, Love was the only thing left pure and true in this world. That too has been trampled into the mud by these low lifes.
Najiba chuckled. ‘Maulu badshah, haven’t you heard – where there’s a bond, it will bind. If a relationship is sanctified by marriage, it becomes strong and secure. If it remains an affair, it smears the family name with mud. Ties of family, kith and kin are like rods of gold. But a man’s affairs and infatuations are here today, gone tomorrow. A small change of heart, and love can turn into ashes soon enough!’
Kriparam was stung. ‘Channji, lovers walk a different path. Shahji, don’t you recall, our Chaudhary Khatri Shah of Alamgarh fell in love with the washerwoman Jawaharan? His brothers tried all threats and tactics on the Chaudhary, but he was head over heels! Like a man possessed, he himself went and disowned all his property. The Chaudhary of high name and honour left everything for a low caste.’
‘Balle balle, that’s some courage
in love!’
The Shahs of Alamgarh were relatives of Shahji. So Shah Sahib changed the topic as soon as Guruditt Singh and Ganda Singh arrived. ‘Aao Khalsas, sit. Relax. And what kept you busy today?’
‘The alignment of the charpoy was loose. Set it right, then headed this way.’
Ganda Singh wrapped his chequered khes around himself and sprawled out on the cot like a lion. Sniffed that nothing interesting was on, and took off instantly: ‘Badshaho, this is the story of four friends. It so happened that Raja Ranjit Singh was informed by his intelligence that, Maharaj, the whole world is talking about four brave, dashing friends. All four handsome youths, the best and brightest of body and mind!’
Chaudhary Fateh Aliji had already heard this qissa at a wedding, but thought it necessary to encourage the Khalsa. ‘Ganda Singh, if this is not some imaginary tale, then those four friends must also be having their names written somewhere?’
‘Absolutely, ji. No business forgetting them. Bhupinder Singh Sandhu, Jeet Singh, Ram Singh, and Hardass Singh. The Maharaj ordered: Present these four in my court. All four were presented to the court. Strong bodies. Sharp and aristocratic features. Smart and confident strides. Maharaj ordered: All four friends should be recruited in one battalion, and the battalion should be named Chaar Yaar Rasaala!’
Shahji added another bead to the string. ‘Badshaho, this Chaar Yaar Rasaala was famous for its bravery during the times of the Khalsa.’
Maulvi Ilmdin thought of something else. ‘The truth is, Shahji, that Ganda Singh’s maternal grandparents live in the area which is the jagir of the maharaja’s royal princes. That is how he gets to hear all these qissa-kahanis every other day.’
‘Maulviji, memories of such brave, fearless ones get refreshed by themselves. And then these two princes were the maharaja’s favourites. He gave the Siyalkot area to one, and Kadiawala to the other.’
Maulvi Ilmdin had some knowledge of history. Why would he lag behind! ‘Later on, at the instigation of Jammu king Gulab Singh, Dhonkal Singh Sipahsalar attacked the two brothers with the help of the Lahore army and occupied their jagirs by force. Helpless, both princes sought the protection of Baba Mehtab Singh of Kotliwala.’
Shahji added another nugget. ‘Seeing the Kunwar princes in such straitened circumstances, the Muslim Najib battalion refused to attack them. Badshaho, I’m talking of the time when the collector of our area deposited land revenue with the Jammu government.’
‘Shahji, that means our area was also under Dogra occupation!’
‘It is mentioned in history that Jalla Mishr of Jammu was a man of great ambition. Made audacious plans and ambitious manoeuvres. Cruelly crushed the populace. Isn’t it said, that the Brahmin kills not with spear but with rage?’
Maiyya Singh woke up with a start. ‘You should listen to Vadde Lala talking about him. This Jalla was a terror. To the extent that he ground the good name of Amir Dost Muhammad to dust in the Sikh darbar.’
‘If priests and pandits get to rule, they don’t sit content with their writs and accomplishments. They get more whimsical and tyrannical.’
Shahji presented a tale from Babur’s court before the gathering. ‘When a youth caught for a serious crime was presented at Babur’s darbar, Badshah Babur asked him, “Young man, what kind of a badshah is Behlol Lodhi?” The youth promptly answered, “Huzoor, one who grants horses. Badshah asked the next question. “And his son Sikander Lodhi?” “Badshah Salamat, he is one who bestows honour.” Babur said, “Young man, now state fearlessly what kind of badshah is Babur?” The young man replied without hesitation, “Padshah Babur is one who spares criminals’ lives.” Babur was very pleased with his quick-witted response and laughed. “Young man, you are free. You have been spared by Babur Badshah!” ’
‘Subhan Allah, Shah Sahib! What this means is that family, dynasty and ancestry show up everywhere, even in kings, emperors, shahenshahs and padshahs.’
Mauladadji wobbled his head, ensconced in a loose turban. ‘It is said a true cockerel and a true Mughal can be recognized from afar. One can’t just claim to be a son or grandson of Babur!’
Meeranbaksh was eager for some court news. ‘Shahji, what became of innocent Akhtar Hussain and Zaildar Umardin’s cases?’
Shahji started laughing. ‘Meeranbaksh, the very same that the Mughlani Begum lay sleeping while Lahore was sold for a mere thirty lakh rupees.’
‘What’s this story, badshaho?’
Kashi Shah nodded. ‘Given the circumstances, it had to happen. After Meer Mannu’s death, Mughlani Begum became the female ruler, the Zanan Shah of Lahore state. When the woman ruler occupied the throne, she was surrounded by women ministers. The begum chose impotents and transvestites as her advisers. Miyan Khush Faham of happy illusions, Miyan Arzmand of perpetual requests, and Miyan Mohabbat of love!’
Karm Ilahiji’s blood boiled. ‘A million shames! Badshaho, this is absolute contempt of the throne and crown of Lahore! A tainted, lowly, characterless woman dared to become the ruler!’
Chaudhary Fateh Ali grunted in assent. ‘What you say is true, Karm Ilahiji. Someone has said it well that fuckers and suckers stick together.’
Ganda Singh couldn’t stop laughing. ‘Imagine that the Zanan Shah passed an order. And what did the ministers and courtiers answer? Yes Huzoor, clap clap clap! Ji Huzoor, clap clap clap! Lo Huzoor, clap clap clap!’
After loud long guffaws when the hukkahs were resumed, Meeranbaksh came back to his earlier question. ‘Shahji, will Akhtar Hussain escape the net?’
‘Difficult. Embezzlement cases are complicated. This act is not easy to escape. The British government is very tough in such cases.’
‘Badshaho, let it be any government – Mughal, Pathan, Sikh or Phirangi– it will always have ample tricks to subdue the public.’
Kaude Khan’s maternal grandfather and great-grandfather had been village headmen in times of Sikh rule. So he announced with much bombast, ‘Amount and sums allotted, petition against impounding by the inspector, cases pertaining – one case and one hundred complications. The treasury belongs to the empire so to speak, but there are hundreds wanting their share of the loot!’
Haji Shah arrived from the Taliwala well. Greeted everyone with sahib-salamat and said to Chhote Shah, ‘Our Haider has returned from Dinga last night. Take it to be a coincidence, but he and his camel are both off colour.’
Maiyya Singh counted on his fingers, ‘Old jaggery quarter kilo, fistful of ajwain and poppy fruit – boil these in water and give to the dachi. It will work instantly.’
Kashi Shah said in a loud voice, ‘Chacha Haji Shah, Taya Maiyya Singh has told you the right medicine for the dachi. But about Haider Shah. Warn him! Camel and rider both feeling off colour on the same day, same time is not good. If there’s been some incidental black magic before or after, it’s another matter.’
Haider Shah’s new accomplice, who was to play his very first gamble with the help of Haider’s camel, grew afraid at Kashi Shah’s warning. Chhote Shah must surely have some other-worldly powers, or else how could he divine my plan! He said artlessly, ‘We hear that our Haider is going to make a name for himself as supervisor with Pind Dadankhan.’
‘Yes, he’s acquired a fine status. After all, it’s not a small thing to be the overall incharge of Khan Bahadur Rasaldar Fazaldad Khan’s stables!’
Fakira added sauce. ‘Badshaho, stable-keepers have their life made. And then it’s not as if Fazaldad Khan Bahadur is always present in the stables. In his absence, it is our Haider Shah who is Khan Bahadur Rasaldar. O Ji, the animals hardly know if the stable owner is this one or the other, do they?’
The cots shook with mirth.
Shahji thought it necessary to praise Fakira. ‘Fakireya, looks like your grandmothers must have added something sweet-sour in your gripe water instead of honey!’
‘I think I remember, Shahji, I was given rose preserve and mango preserve to suck,’ Fakira grinned.
Mauladadji growled, ‘You think you’re o
ne Hasse Khan or what, you king of wit. Don’t forget your manners while sitting in a gathering!’
When Nawab put fresh embers in all the chillums by turn, Guruditt Singh started grumbling, ‘Rumble-rumble, chillum and hukkahs all the time! Someone ask these good men, why are you hell-bent on burning your lungs and livers with tobacco!’
Chaudhary Fateh Ali laughed: ‘Khalsaji, you don’t enjoy tobacco smoke. But poor wretches like us who cannot live without inhaling, how else do we get a breath of life!’
‘O, you who yearn for asthma, smoke away for all I care, gulp lungfuls! Hearing all your gurgling, burbling, Lord Yama’s messengers will come down in a jiffy to get you.’
Kriparam got up and touched Guruditt Singh’s knees. ‘Please don’t vent your dislike of tobacco upon this gathering! Just spit it out!’
Karm Ilahiji entreated further, ‘Guruditt Singha, these gatherings are our life and universe. Let these happy and lively discussions continue. Always and forever!’
Mauladadji changed the discussion to a happier topic. ‘Shahji, on occasion of our little Lali Shah’s arrival, I propose there should be some rang-tamasha, some dance and music.’
‘Absolutely, badshaho. The fruit of life is a son. What better occasion for ras-rang, rejoicing and revelry.’
Chaudhary Fateh Ali smiled into his moustache. ‘The question is not whether nautch girls should be called or not. The question is simply whether Umda of Gujrat be called, or Mumtaz of Vazeerabad.’
Shahji looked to his younger brother. ‘Kashiram is in charge of this department. If Bhagatji is so inclined, your wish will be fulfilled.’
Karm Ilahiji put in a good word. ‘Sufiji, song and dance, as you know, are an element of worship too. So where’s the harm if, once in a while, along with God’s name in his heart, a man feasts his eyes on some nautch girls as well?’
Taya Maiyya Singh put his whole weight to tilt the balance. ‘Kashirama, now don’t put obstacles to this nautch-mujra. Let us also have a glimpse of the famous bibis before we close our eyes upon this world.’
Zindaginama Page 18
