‘Oh, stop it, Finn!’ said Jan, warm-heartedly. ‘If I can’t blow your trumpet then who can? I am your mother. It’s only natural that I’m going to be extremely proud of everything that you’ve done. We both are, aren’t we, Gerry? And I’m sure this is only the beginning. There are going to be many more highlights to come.’
‘Yes, yes, of course.’ Gerry stood up, collecting the empty plates and taking them through to the kitchen.
‘Who knows, Mum?’ Finn looked up at her plaintively. ‘Maybe that’s it now. Have you thought about that? Maybe I’ve peaked and it’s all downhill from now on. That knock to my head might have changed everything. There might not be any more high moments.’
‘Oh, now you’re just being silly. There’ll be plenty more terrific moments for you and Ruby. For starters, you’ve got your new position at work to take up and then there’s the wedding and the honeymoon to look forward to. They’ll all be big moments. You’ve got plenty of exciting times ahead.’
Jan stood up and walked around the table giving Finn a gentle squeeze on the shoulders as she went past. Finn looked up and gave a rueful smile, a brief hint of sadness flittering across his features that tugged at Ruby’s heartstrings. It was still early days. Maybe they were expecting far too much from him.
‘Your mum’s right,’ said Ruby. Of course there would be good times ahead for Finn, only at the moment she had no idea if she would still be a part of them.
‘The thing is you’ve been through a horrible ordeal; it’s going to take time for you to fully recover, to get back to where you were before the accident.’
She picked up his hand, threading her fingers through his.
‘There’s no hurry for you to get back to work. You’re still recovering from the accident and that’s what we need to remember in all of this. All those other things, the partnership, us getting married, they have to be secondary to your health and well-being.’
She smiled, looking up at everyone who was hanging onto her every word, nodding in agreement at her well-chosen words.
‘You know, we might want to even think about cancelling the wedding. It’s only a few weeks away now and maybe the timing’s not right. You don’t need to be worrying about suits and cakes and flowers at the moment. All you should be worrying about is…’ Her voice trailed away as she dared to sneak a peek at the three faces that were now looking at her, not so much in awe as in horrified disbelief.
‘I haven’t been worrying about any of those things,’ said Finn flatly.
‘Good grief! Cancel the wedding!’ Jan’s voice had risen an octave higher.
‘I think it might be too late to be thinking along those lines,’ added Gerry, helpfully.
An uneasy silence hovered over the dining table before Finn spoke.
‘What made you say that, Ruby?’ He stared at her, his deep blue eyes doing a good job of infiltrating her skin and pricking at her conscience. ‘Do you want to cancel the wedding? Is that it?’
‘No, no, no! I was only thinking of you. Thinking it might all be too much. And when I said cancel I meant postpone to another time. Like next year. Or the year…’
Ruby was sure their eyebrows all rose as one as they dared her to even complete her sentence. She couldn’t have had a more hostile reception if she’d suggested bagging up kittens and drowning them in the river.
‘I don’t want to cancel or postpone the wedding, Ruby. It’s the one thing that’s been keeping me going through the dark moments.’
‘Okay.’ She nodded, reassuringly, but thinking, Oh, shit! ‘It was just an idea. I didn’t mean… I only thought… Dark moments?’
‘Yeah, well, it’s nothing really.’
Ruby dropped her head to one side prompting Finn to go on. Jan and Gerry leaned in to hear his response too.
‘Well, you know, only every now and again. When I’m struggling to find the right word and it just won’t come. Or when I’m desperately trying to remember how the hell to do some stupidly simple task that a kid could do, like sending a text or using the microwave. Or when I drop something again.’ His eyes flashed to the stain on the table. ‘Have you any idea how it makes me feel? Stupid, so bloody stupid. But you know what keeps me going? Knowing you’re there, Ruby. It makes everything so much easier to cope with. I mean, you wouldn’t want to marry me if I was completely hopeless, would you?’
He looked up at her from beneath long dark eyelashes and her heart melted.
‘Oh, Finn, why didn’t you say? If you’re struggling then you must tell me. I never knew you’d been finding it so hard. You seem to have handled everything so well. I just assumed that you were coping. I had no idea,’ she said to Finn firstly, before turning to Jan and Gerry for moral support.
She’d assumed far too much, she realised, her eyes filling unexpectedly with tears.
‘And it’s only to be expected,’ added Jan. ‘The doctors explained that you might have lapses in your memory. It’s all perfectly normal. You shouldn’t be too hard on yourself, love. It’s bound to take a little time.’
‘Hey, it’s fine,’ said Finn, realising that his girlfriend and parents were looking at him aghast. He batted away the sympathetic looks with a swipe of his hand. ‘Most of the time it’s okay, it’s just sometimes when I’m not expecting it, you know, it makes me realise how far I still have to go.’
‘Give it a few weeks, son, and it will be as if that accident had never happened.’
‘Too true,’ agreed Jan. ‘And we’ll have no more talk of cancelling the wedding. I reckon we could all do with something to look forward to, don’t you, Ruby?’
‘Yes, definitely,’ she said as Finn’s eyes locked onto hers. These days it was as if Finn could see directly into her soul reading all her innermost thoughts and secrets. She really hoped that wasn’t the case.
She felt her cheeks colour guiltily and flashed a smile to cover up her embarrassment.
Okay, so Plan B of telling her boyfriend the wedding was off had been a major fail.
She would have to bring Plan C into operation, although at the moment she had no idea what that might be.
If she didn’t, it looked as if she’d be getting married in a few weeks’ time after all, whether she wanted to or not.
Chapter Twelve
After a pudding of apple pie, Finn’s favourite, lovingly made to order by Jan, Ruby cleared the dirty dishes from the table.
‘Thank you so much. That was the most wonderful lunch. Go and sit down. I’ll clear all this away. It won’t take me long.’
‘Are you sure, love?’
‘Absolutely. It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done for us.’
‘I’ll help you,’ said Finn, standing up and kissing Ruby on the back of her neck, sending a delightfully squidgy sensation down her backbone.
‘You don’t have to,’ she said smiling, looking over her shoulder at him. ‘Why don’t you go and sit with your mum and dad?’
‘I’d much rather come and help you. Besides, they’ll both be asleep in five minutes.’
Finn was right. By the time they’d filled the dishwasher, washed up all the pots and pans, dried them off, put them away in the cupboards and wiped down the surfaces, they peered into the living room to see Jan and Gerry snuggled up together on the sofa, both fast asleep.
‘Come on, let’s leave them to it. It’s a beautiful day out there. Let’s go for a wander.’
Finn took her by the hand and led her outside. They walked down the path that threaded through the sweeping green lawns and down to the end of the main garden where an ironwork archway framed with yellow climbing roses led to a second, less well-cared for area. There was an old bench that had seen better days, a shed, various unused plant pots, and then to one side a large vegetable patch and to the other a wild garden area.
They sat down on the bench still holding hands. The sun was warm on Ruby’s bare arms and she had that nicely contented glow that came with having drunk a couple of glasses of wine and e
aten a huge roast dinner, feeling fully satiated.
‘I know your mum winds you up at times, Finn, but she doesn’t mean anything by it. She’s just overjoyed that you’re better—we all are! And it’s only natural that she’s going to be proud of you. You’re her only child after all and she has got plenty to feel proud about.’
‘I know. Just sometimes it’s a bit too much.’ He stretched out his long legs in front of him, clasping his hands behind his head and offering up his face to the sun. ‘It’s probably me. I think I’m probably a little less tolerant than I used to be. I love her dearly, but sometimes her constant chattering drives me round the bend.’
‘Well, that’s understandable, but we all just want the best for you, Finn.’
He dropped his hands to his side searching for hers again.
‘Yeah, I get that. With you, though, I can just be myself. I don’t have to be a performing monkey. If I don’t want to talk I don’t have to. If I want to disappear off for a couple of hours then I can. It’s almost as if you don’t expect anything of me and I like that.’ He lifted her hand, squeezing on her fingers. ‘I meant what I said earlier about how much it means to me just having you here. I’m not sure I would have wanted to go through all this without you.’
His gratitude made her feel uncomfortable. She hadn’t done anything really and if he only knew what she’d been thinking half the time, questioning their relationship and wondering what she was going to do about it, then he’d know his indebtedness was misplaced. Finn liked the fact that she didn’t expect anything of him but was that because she’d already withdrawn emotionally from their relationship? she wondered.
‘You would have managed, Finn. Besides, I know it’s only what you would have done for me if the roles had been reversed.’
‘Yes, but that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?’ he said with a smile that spoke directly to her tummy.
Sitting in the sunshine against the backdrop of Gerry’s sweet peas, with the sound of birdsong tweeting around them, Ruby wondered if that funny sensation swarming around her tummy could be mistaken for contentment.
In that instance, in the warmth, sitting on that rusty old bench next to Finn, she realised it was a moment that would stay with her for a long time.
Finn looked relaxed, confident and undeniably handsome. If her head was trying to convince her she was out of this relationship, her heart was telling her something else entirely as that now familiar stirring of desire worked its way around her body. When he turned to look at her, his eyes narrowed against the glare of the sun, his skin fanning in light creases around his eyes, she couldn’t help herself from leaning in to meet the kiss he was offering. His hands cupped her face and his touch, gentle and urgent at the same time, made her shiver with anticipation.
‘Mmm,’ she murmured, enjoying it far too much for someone who wasn’t supposed to be enjoying this particular activity with this particular man. Reluctantly, she eased herself away from Finn’s all too persuasive embrace. ‘Come on, we ought to be getting back. They’ll be wondering where we’ve got to.’
‘No,’ he breathed, silencing her with a barrage of kisses. His hand found her knee before smoothing a trail up her bare leg beneath the floaty dress. He stroked his thumb in a circular motion on the inside of her thigh as he ran a finger along the edge of her knickers. She sighed, squirming, her buttocks pressing into the hard ridges of the wooden slates of the bench.
‘They’ll be asleep for ages yet,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘I’ve got a much better idea. Come on,’ he said, standing up and holding out his hand to her.
She took his hand and followed him into the shed. There was a bench covered with dozens of neatly laid-out seed trays and a selection of gardening tools, a pair of gloves had been abandoned onto a kitchen stool and in the corner was a cosy old armchair with a tartan blanket thrown over the arm.
Finn closed the door behind her and fell down onto the chair laughing, pulling Ruby on top of him.
She took a deep breath in, the aroma of earth and grass cuttings and Finn’s natural scent filling her nostrils.
Her legs straddled Finn’s body as his strong hands pulled her hips towards him, his head nuzzling into her cleavage, as her breathing came in rapid short bursts.
‘We can’t, Finn, not here. Someone might find us,’ she said, looking over her shoulder. ‘Your dad might come in.’
‘No, he won’t.’ He chuckled, lifting his head to look at her, desire flaring in his eyes. ʻYou worry too much.’ His lips found hers, his breathing heavy too now, and his tongue ran around the contours of her mouth, teasing it open. He tasted delicious, of apples and cinnamon and wine and the great outdoors, and Ruby wondered for one fleeting moment if Finn had undertaken a course in advanced kissing techniques during his stay in hospital. She couldn’t remember it being like this before: so intense, so needy, so hugely erotic, so toe-curlingly awesome. She would have remembered. Absolutely. There was no way she could have forgotten something like this.
His hand beneath her dress found the waistband of her cotton knickers and he hooked a thumb beneath them, easing them down over her hips, as she helpfully wriggled her way free of them. He looked at them, a sense of triumph flitting over his features before he tossed them away to one side where they landed deftly on the handle of a fork. They both giggled at the sight before Finn gently steered her hips with his hands, pulling her body down on top of his. She didn’t care now where she was or if anyone might stumble upon them; she was lost in the moment with Finn.
She gasped as her body welcomed his hardness, his body melding together with hers in one effortless movement. Their bodies swayed in continuous rhythmic motion, his fullness inside her shooting darts of pleasure along every one of her nerve endings. His hands roamed the bare skin of her breasts as his tongue explored every recess of her mouth. It was fast, it was urgent and when her climax came it was deliciously sweet and all encompassing, her eyes brimming with emotion as Finn’s release came with hers, in a heartfelt groan. He pulled her head into his chest, totally spent, combing his fingers tenderly through her hair.
‘Oh, my God, Finn,’ she said, when she finally came up for air, looking into his eyes that were full of love and warmth and wickedness. ‘That was naughty. Very, very naughty.’
‘I told you, you need to channel your inner naughtiness,’ he said, his eyebrows dancing a jig.
She looked around to make sure they hadn’t been disturbed, not really believing they’d just done that, not here in Gerry’s shed, not really believing that she could have behaved so recklessly or that she could be feeling this good, not with Finn, not in these circumstances. What was going on?
Her gaze travelled over Finn’s body still reclined in the chair, his hair mussed up, colour fanning his cheeks, his eyes heavy with spent desire and that louche smile on his face that spoke of terribly wicked things and she couldn’t help but smile in return.
She knew exactly what it was that she was feeling. Lust. Pure unadulterated lust.
It would be fine. She could cope with that. Just her hormones kicking into play.
‘Come on, you,’ she said, standing up and pulling her dress down. She held out her hand to Finn. ‘We do really need to be getting back now.’
‘Sure,’ he said, easing himself up out of the chair with a lazy smile on his face. ‘But haven’t you forgotten something?’ He held up his hand, dangling her knickers in the air from one finger.
Wicked. Far too wicked for words.
***
‘There you are! We were just about to send out the search parties for you.’ Jan’s face lit up when she saw them.
‘We’ve had a lovely wander in the garden. It’s so beautiful out there. Finn showed me the bottom garden. That bench is in a proper little sun trap.’
‘Oh, I don’t go down there. I’m not sure I’m allowed to. That’s Gerry’s domain. You wouldn’t believe the number of hours he spends down there. I’m not sure what he gets up to, but whatever it is
it keeps him occupied for hours.’
Gerry laughed, putting his arms around his wife’s waist, his chin resting on her shoulder.
‘It’s my little retreat, my darling. Every man should have his own shed. Somewhere to escape to. Did you see my castle, Ruby?’
‘Oh, yes,’ said Ruby, not daring to look at Finn for fear of giving the game away. ‘I had the full guided tour. It’s beautiful down there.’
‘Well, the sunshine has certainly done you good,’ said Jan. ‘You’ve got a healthy glow to your cheeks now.’
‘Yes, well, it was very warm. And lovely,’ she said, dropping her gaze as she felt her cheeks flush even redder.
‘Good. Well, I’ve just made a fresh pot of tea and there’s some cakes, if anyone’s hungry.’
‘Great, Mum,’ said Finn, who was still grinning, looking like the cat who’d got the cream and then gone back for seconds. ‘We’ll have this and then we ought to think about making a move.’
‘Of course, darling. It’s been lovely and you know you’re both welcome here any time. Ruby, shall we fix a date for lunch later in the week to go over the last-minute arrangements for the wedding?’
‘Yes, good idea,’ she said automatically in her post-coital haze. With her mum no longer around and her dad in Spain, she’d been more than happy for Jan to take control of the proceedings. She was the closest thing she had to a mother anyway. They’d been incredibly generous too, insisting they pay for the whole reception. If Ruby called off the wedding now, it wouldn’t only be a boyfriend she was losing.
‘We’ll need to confirm the numbers and just check on the catering and the flowers. You’ll also need to try your dress on again just to make sure you don’t need it altered in any way.’
Hopelessly Devoted to You Page 11
