by Olivia Gates
Andreas had long perfected this unreadable stare as a weapon and a defense mechanism, until it had become a part of him. He lost his grip on it only when he was too stimulated or disturbed. In other words, with Naomi.
Born into the same hell before him, Aristedes had developed his own array of disturbingly blank stares long before life had taught Andreas the need for them. Being an expert in all their brands, he recognized the significance of this one. It was his brother’s substitute for putting him over his knee.
After making sure he’d hit him with its full brunt, Aristedes turned and strode to the sitting area.
As soon as Andreas joined him, he said, “Do you want to restore it?”
“Our status quo? You mean we really exited it? We now have Pre-Hug and Post-Hug status quos?”
Another look. “Just. Answer. Do you?”
Did he? What if he didn’t? He was so used to his segregation he had no idea if he could handle anything else, or if he was even equipped for it.
Andreas exhaled. “Nothing needs to change.”
“I think everything needs to change. You need to change.”
“And you know that because you’re my big brother who knows best?”
“I know that because I was you until a few years ago.”
“Until Selene came along and saved you from yourself.”
It still seemed unreal to Andreas that Aristedes, of all men, had fallen in love, and with the daughter of his worst enemy. Of course, it had started out bumpy and their initial tryst had ended in separation, during which she’d had his baby, but thought he didn’t deserve to be told. Once he’d gone back, she’d made him jump through hoops for the privilege of another chance with her and of knowing his son. Being an overachiever, Aristedes had gone overboard proving himself, and would clearly never stop doing so. They were now married, with another child, a daughter, living a happily-ever-after that was far more perfect than any fairy tale.
It was all too nauseating, really.
“Ridiculing it doesn’t make it any less true,” Aristedes said. “Selene did save me. She dragged every worthwhile thing out of me, and gave me a second and real chance at life.”
“Then I’m doomed, since according to you I have no such worthy stuff lurking inside me to be excavated.”
“I was as bad as you and worse. Turns out it’s not important if you think you are worthy of redemption. What’s important is that someone thinks you are, and you’re not too stupid to let them reach out to you.”
“You were never as bad as me, Aristedes. I’m in a class of my own, remember?” He shook his head. “I can’t believe the conversation we’re having. And over a hug, too. It’s not as if this was the first time I hugged you.”
“The last time you hugged me you were seven, Andreas.”
“Ne.” Thirty years ago.
He looked away, and into the past. He remembered how he’d felt about Aristedes then. His brother had been his anchor, the only beacon of hope and strength in a dark and turbulent existence. He’d loved his mother and older sisters, as a child would those who cared for him. But he’d recognized them as fellow victims, to be despised for their helplessness just as he’d despised himself. It was only Aristedes he’d admired, whose determination had set his own course, whose drive had imbued him with the will to fight.
Andreas exhaled. “I never told you, but I idolized the hell out of you back then. You were my role model.”
“That I believe. Your role model in detachment. But in my case it was a tool, what I needed to survive, then to get ahead. For you, it seems to be a fundamental component. Or rather, the absence of one. It seems the entity responsible for putting you together in the cosmic factory left your emotional package on the conveyor belt.”
“You are the second one in as many days to tell me I lack such an essential building block. I can only be grateful for its absence, since I can’t imagine what it would have been like having it when I was around our father. Or the other pieces of shit who littered my path. I would have wasted so much time and energy feeling stuff about them when they’re not worth a second thought. You, on the other hand, always warranted an actual response from me.”
“I never had any idea you even noticed I was alive. Not when you looked at me with the same lack of concern you bestowed on everything and everyone else.”
“Oh, I noticed you, and looked up to you...when you were around to be looked up to.”
Aristedes frowned, as if in remembered pain. “You know I couldn’t be around when I had to provide for you all.”
Andreas waved away his justification. “I was there, remember?”
And he’d been there in a way Aristedes had no idea about. When his brother was working twenty-hour days to put food on the table, Andreas had been left behind, the “man of the house.” And the things he’d had to do to fill that role...
“Is this about Petros?”
Andreas blinked at Aristedes’s question, Petros’s name skewering his heart.
“I always thought you felt nothing for anyone except Petros. His death, though you didn’t deem to inform us of it, must have hit you hard, even if you wouldn’t admit it.”
“Why wouldn’t I? I admit it. I’m still reeling.”
It was Aristedes’s turn to blink in surprise at the ready admission. “You are? I mean, it’s only natural anyone would be, but it’s just that you are...”
“Not natural? Probably. But he was as close to me as anyone ever was. Closer than any of you.”
“Which wouldn’t be saying much, since you weren’t close to any of us in any way. It seemed you turned thirteen and just...shut down, turned away from everyone.”
“This, coming from the man who gave his family money and services in lieu of human interaction. Mother used to say you sold your soul for a Midas touch. And speaking of hugs, she said she’d gladly exchange everything you gave her for one hug.”
Aristedes’s frown turned thunderous. “We’re not discussing which of us was the colder bastard, Andreas.”
Andreas grimaced. “Theos...listen, I’m sorry. That was a cheap shot. Too cheap. I didn’t condone what she said or felt. In fact, I actually despised her for it. You supported us in an impossible situation, then got us all out of Crete, made us new lives in the States, which she didn’t live to see because she killed herself with a broken heart over our scum-of-the-earth father. Our mother was sick, with toxic emotionalism that caused her to make every wrong choice possible, and scarred us all for life. She worshiped our father, who told her sweet lies while he swindled her out of her whole life, and she didn’t appreciate the miracles you were achieving for all of us, because you didn’t do them with a smile and a hug. Is it any wonder we grew up despising such poisonous sentimentalities?”
Aristedes’s gaze sharpened, as if he was viewing their lives in a new light, seeing Andreas from an unexpected angle.
At last he said, “Our mother was damaged, for too many reasons, as was our father, and their relationship was pathological. But we left them and their legacy far behind, and shouldn’t let their mistakes and shortcomings poison our inclinations. You don’t need to go that far in the opposite direction to having no emotions, because you saw what losing herself to them did to her. There is a huge range of balanced feelings you can experience without having them overpower you.”
“Like those you feel for Selene and your kids? I think you’re way beyond overpowered by those.”
“And that’s bad only if such emotions are damaging or degrading or depressing. My feelings for Selene and our children resuscitated me and now sustain and rejuvenate me.” Aristedes suddenly gave a growl of impatience. “You’ve taken us on another tangent.”
“It’s you who started reminiscing about my shutdown.”
“What I asked,” Aristedes barked, “was if you
r strange behavior is on account of Petros’s loss—”
“I’ll never hear the end of this hug, will I?” Andreas interrupted. “Next I’ll find Caliope texting me to discuss my unfurling emotional potential.” He sat forward, the idea actually making him anxious. Caliope had been trying to reel him into the family circle since he’d made the mistake of attending her wedding. “Whatever you do, don’t tell Caliope about this. I’ll do anything if you promise not to.”
“How about you leave Naomi alone?”
So. Moment of truth. The point of all this.
Andreas sat back, cocked his head at his brother. “So she enlisted your services in deterring me, eh? What did she tell you? I should hear her list of charges before we go on.”
And for the next ten minutes, Aristedes let him hear, in very colorful language, his own version of Naomi’s “charges” and what he thought of him and his actions.
His rebukes were still echoing like rolling thunder when Andreas finally inhaled. “You done?”
“Yes, and so are you, agóri,” Aristedes growled.
He huffed. “Been a while since anyone called me boy.”
“Don’t make me demonstrate that in comparison to me, you are still a boy.”
“We’re comparing sizes now?”
Aristedes sat forward. Andreas was certain any other man would have cowered. “You will leave Naomi alone. And that’s my last word.”
“I wasn’t aware this was a bid. But here’s my last word, so we can wrap this up. There’s no way in hell I’m doing that.”
“Andreas—”
His raised hand interrupted Aristedes’s threat. “I spent the past four years thinking of nothing but getting her back, and now that I can have her again, I’m not letting her go.”
“You’d use your friend’s will and his baby to coerce her back into your bed? You care nothing about the fact that she doesn’t want to be with you again?”
“She wants nothing more. Trust me on that.”
“I trust her word...and the turmoil I saw and felt in her. If you think she wants you, and that’s how you’re justifying this to yourself, you’re self-deluding.”
“You know nothing about our history, Aristedes.”
“I know everything. She told me.”
That surprised him. And intrigued him. He hadn’t thought she’d go that far. But what had she said, exactly, to get Aristedes within a hairbreadth of getting physical?
“It might be impossible for you to consider anyone but yourself,” his brother said, keeping his temper under control with obvious effort. “But consider this. This is a woman who recently lost her only sister and is still barely dealing with the loss. She inherited the responsibility of her niece—”
“Which she won’t shoulder alone when she remarries me.”
“She didn’t ask for help, least of all yours. I get the impression Dora is all she lives for.”
“Which isn’t right. Her life shouldn’t revolve around the child. That’s bad for both of them.”
“And what’s good? You? The man who failed to give Naomi the minimum of consideration and respect in your so-called sham of a marriage? You want to force more heartache on her by holding her daughter hostage? And Dora is her daughter in all the ways that count. Are you so without feelings or honor?”
“I’ll do what I have to do. Wouldn’t you do anything to get Selene back if you ever lost her?”
“I would never coerce Selene and override her choices like you’re doing to Naomi.”
“I’m not coercing her, I’m pursuing her. She needs me to, before she can allow herself to do what she really wants to do, which is come back to me.”
Aristedes’s look was incredulous. “You think she’s playing hard to get?”
“Not exactly. It seems she’s ashamed that she pursued me in the past. And it seems she took particular exception that I kept our marriage a secret from you all. I believe that’s one of the main reasons she came to you, to right this wrong retroactively. I’m restoring her dignity by pursuing her this time. And if she hadn’t preempted me, I would have told you about us the moment I got her to agree. So no, I’m not coercing her, I’m giving her the tussle she needs so she can have whatever pound of flesh she feels I owe her. But her reasons for resisting me don’t include not wanting me. She does want me, as much as I want her. Do trust me on this.”
Aristedes got the implication this time—that Andreas had obtained unquestionable proof of his claim, very recently.
Aristedes still plowed on. “You’re talking about physical lust, and that’s never enough to overcome mental and emotional aversion. If you manage to make her remarry you, a woman who can’t bear you out of bed, what do you think you’ll do when you’re not making love? What kind of dysfunctional battlefield would you have dragged her onto?”
Andreas waved as if to swat away his brother’s concerns. “This initial conflict will end soon.”
“What if it doesn’t? According to her it will only escalate. You’d risk that kind of personal and domestic hell? Just because you want to get her out of your system?”
“I can’t get her out of my system. And I don’t want to.”
“That’s still just sex.”
A mirthless laugh escaped Andreas as he remembered Naomi’s exact words last night. And his response. Just sex, indeed.
Aristedes went on. “And for that, the arrangement she suggested is the perfect catharsis for both of you.”
“I don’t want ‘an arrangement.’ I want a permanent situation.”
“Do you even have a concept what permanence is, Andreas? The only pseudo relationship you ever had was with her. You think that’s what marriage is? That farce you’re asking her to repeat? Even if you’re completely detached from the way other people experience emotions, you never waste time on something that doesn’t work. Why are you insisting on repeating what failed as absolutely as your first so-called marriage did?”
“I don’t think it failed.”
“Sure, because divorce is an indication a marriage was a resounding success.”
“It indicates...a problem. She must have told you about it. It doesn’t apply anymore, so it won’t be the same this time.”
Aristedes’s growl would have made anyone else run for cover. “Why don’t you admit you’re after her because she dared to walk away? I wouldn’t put it past you that you’d make her bow to your will, only so you’d be the one to walk out, in your own good time.”
“I see you’ve adopted her analysis of my actions and motivations.”
“It does suit what I know about you.”
Andreas pushed himself to his feet. He’d had enough of this. “I’m done. I won’t repeat myself.”
Aristedes stood and grabbed his shoulder. “Even if I adopt your analysis, you’d still be tussling with her in another passionate if pathological relationship. I might have sanctioned this if it was about the two of you alone. But it isn’t. There’s a child involved. Didn’t you think of that little girl at all? If you get Naomi back in this dishonorable way, life between you will be an even worse hell than it was, and Dora will be caught in the middle.”
Andreas frowned. “Who said life between us was hell?”
Aristedes huffed in ridicule. “Naomi, of course.”
“It wasn’t hell,” he hissed. “And it wouldn’t be.”
“That’s your word and prediction against hers. And even if you’re right, what happens when you get enough of Naomi? Did you think how Dora will feel when you toss her aside along with Naomi after she comes to consider you her father?”
He hadn’t thought of any such possibility, since it would never happen. He’d never get enough of Naomi. And he’d never toss Petros’s child aside.
But that wasn’t what he objected to in Arist
edes’s conjecture. “I will make it clear to Dorothea from the start that I’m not her father. I have no illusions I could be that.”
The flare of disgust in Aristedes’s eyes hit him harder than a punch. “I always knew you were cold, but I never dreamed you were heartless.” He grasped his arm roughly. “I warn you, Andreas, pursue this and I will stop you, no matter how much I have to damage you to make you back off.”
He held his brother’s gaze. “You done now?” Aristedes’s hand tightened. Andreas removed it with utmost calmness. “Here’s how it will be. I will fulfill Petros’s will. He wanted Dorothea to be a Sarantos, and that’s what I’m making her. I want to make Naomi my wife again, and that is what she’ll become.”
“Andreas—”
He raised both hands to stem his brother’s explosion. “If during this process you have any indication that any of Naomi’s fears are coming to pass, that I am harming either of them, you can use any deterrent you see fit.”
“You think I’ll wait until you cause them harm?”
“Why are you so certain I will? Aren’t you the advocate of second chances? Didn’t you just lecture me on redemption? Or do you believe those are possible for everyone else but me?”
Uncertainty entered Aristedes’s eyes and his aggression dissipated in the span of a heartbeat. “If I thought for a moment this is what you’re after...”
Andreas reached a hand to his brother’s shoulder, held it and his gaze with his pledge. “It is.”
* * *
An hour later, sitting on the bed where he’d taken Naomi last night, Andreas closed his eyes and let the echoes of the magnificence they’d shared reverberate inside him.
Groaning, he fell back among the covers she’d wrapped around her hot, fragrant body, turned his face to inhale deeper her bouquet, letting her lingering scent and sensuality cloak him.
His arousal had been so hair-trigger after she’d left, he’d dragged himself off to sleep in another room. He was still in agony, but his other disturbance was canceling the worst of it.
This disturbance had nothing to do with his meeting with Aristedes. In fact, he felt...contented that they’d had that confrontation. Even if his brother had spent 90 percent of the time scolding him like the father he’d—they’d—never had, and expressing his disappointment in him, it had only...pleased him. More than that. It had appeased him.
