Isaac looked around. Nobody else was on the street except for that guy, smiling down at Nina, and he deserved what he was about to get. Him, and anybody else that would smile down on somebody else’s woman, showing all his long yellow teeth, as if to devour her right where she stood. Yeah, he would gladly put two bullets in him.
Isaac opened his door. His black leather shoes touched the gravel. A red Grand Am pulled up right across from him. The woman behind the wheel honked her horn.
Nina turned, and Isaac caught her profile. Nina was a fatso too. He closed the door and sat back in his seat stunned as his mind replayed the blows he dealt Nina in the back lot of that abortion clinic. “I could have killed my baby.”
Nina said goodbye to her friend and jumped in the back seat of the car.
The woman across from Isaac honked her horn again. And as Nina drove away, Isaac said words that cannot be repeated.
11
Nina walked into the sanctuary.
Her gaze moved toward the pulpit. She stood in the aisle for a moment looking at the marble pillars behind the pulpit. Those pillars reminded Nina of the story of Samson and Delilah. Her adoptive mother told her how Samson took hold of two pillars and prayed that God would give him back his strength. The Philistines stood around waiting to make sport of him. What was it that the Bible said? Something about, in his death, he killed more Philistines than in his lifetime. Nina tried to imagine Samson holding up the pillars in this church, rather than bringing them down. The thought made her feel safe, and right now, she needed that.
She spent the last three weeks lying on her back. The doctors couldn’t explain it, but somehow her placenta wasn’t torn anymore. Her baby was still alive, and Dr. Hanson took her off bed rest.
The doctor’s might not be able to explain it, but Nina knew that her baby was still alive because of the many nights Marguerite walked the living room floor praying.
“Come on, Nina. We need to get a seat,” Marguerite whispered into her ear as praise and worship began.
“Oh, sorry, I guess I was day-dreaming,” Nina told her as they started down the aisle to find a seat.
***
Isaac walked into the church a few minutes after Nina. He stood at the door of the sanctuary and looked around for her. Everyone was standing, singing some type of song that had the word ‘Jesus’ in it so many times that Isaac shook himself. What am I doing in here? he wondered. Years ago he had vowed never to set foot in another church. He turned to rush out of this ‘Jesus’ place when someone tapped him on the shoulder.
“Man, what you doing in here?”
Isaac’s hand went inside his jacket as he turned around. “Um, I was just looking for someone.”
“Man, I thought you had turned into a Jesus freak or something.” The young man began to laugh. Isaac’s eyes widened.
“Jimmy?”
“Yeah, man, who else?”
“Boy what you doing here?” Isaac asked.
“Didn’t you know?” He snapped his finger, then shook his head. “That’s right, how would you know? My father is one of the elders of this church. I come every now and then. You know, just to give him reason to keep hope alive.”
Now it was Isaac’s turn to laugh.
“Well, see you later man. I got to grab a seat.”
“Yeah, all right.” Having found Nina, he said, “I think I’ll take a seat too.” An empty seat in the back of the sanctuary called Isaac’s name. He hurriedly grabbed it, then focused on his prey. Okay Nina, I’ll wait. But I want answers.
Pastor McKinley took his place behind the podium. He stood there for a moment, silently worshipping God. Then he led the congregation in prayer. “Lord, I thank You for this time You have allowed for me to share Your Word. We bind the enemy and give him no place in this assembly. And Father God, my prayer, as always, is that not one unbeliever leave this place without knowing You as their Lord and Savior. I ask all of this in the mighty Name of Jesus, Amen.”
A few people said, “Hallelujah” and “Amen.”
“Turn in your Bibles to Isaiah 65:1-3.” The Pastor paused, then read the verse. “I was sought by those who did not ask for Me; I was found by those who did not seek Me. I said, ‘Here I am, here I am.’” He looked up, and stared at the congregation before returning to his text. “I have stretched out My hands all day long to a rebellious people, who walk in a way that is not good. According to their own thoughts; a people who provoke Me to anger continually to My face.
“Turn to Jeremiah 5:22-24.” He watched as the parishioners turned the pages of their Bibles, then bent his head and started reading. “Do you not fear Me? Says the Lord. Will you not tremble at My presence. Who have placed the sand as the bound of the sea, by a perpetual decree, that it cannot pass beyond it? And though its waves toss to and fro, yet they cannot prevail; though they roar, yet they cannot pass over it. But this people has a defiant and rebellious heart; they have revolted and departed. They do not say in their heart, let us now fear the Lord our God, who gives rain, both the former and the latter, in its season.”
Pastor McKinley looked at his congregation and declared. “I am always amazed by how surprised people are about the rain that comes into their lives because of the choices they have made. You choose to fornicate, and then you look sad and surprised when you have a baby out of wedlock. You rob, cheat, murder, and steal – then have the nerve to cover your head in shame when you get carted off to jail.” He shook his head at the people. “You know what I believe the former rain is? It’s the problems that rain down thunderstorms in your life because of the bad decisions you made.” Pastor McKinley raised his voice and declared. “But there is One who can wash away the former rain – it is He who brings the latter rain. But you still refuse to give honor to the One who not only can bring the rain, but also has the power of life and death in His hands.
“You’ve chosen to fear man and his ability to rob you of your life. But the Bible has already told you that it is foolish to fear the one who can only take your life, rather fear the One who can take your life and cast you into hell for eternity.”
Nina fidgeted in her seat and threw an accusing glance at Marguerite. The woman had been telling her business to this preacher.
As Pastor McKinley continued to preach with the anointing of God on him, Isaac looked around the room. These people were really eating up every word this man said; some sat up in their seats and leaned in a little closer. Others were hollering “Amen,” and “That’s right,” as this man told them about all their sins, told them how no good they all were.
Don’t these people have anything better to do with their time? “What a bunch of losers, they deserve to be treated like this,” Isaac mumbled under his breath.
A woman in the seventh pew from the front stood up and yelled, “Holy, holy, holy!” A man a few rows back jumped out of his seat and started running around the sanctuary. As Isaac watched, he became convinced that his usually-wrong daddy had been right about one thing; Christians are coocoo for cocoa puffs.
Being in church brought back a lot of unwanted memories; Like the last day he and his brother, Donavan, went to church with their mother. The service had been all right. And even though he was thirteen and pretty good at hustling, he was considering joining the drama team.
But when they arrived home from church that day, Isaac’s usually-wrong daddy started in on his mother.
It was just barely one o’clock on a Sunday afternoon, but that no-job having mug had a beer in his hand talkin’ ‘bout, “Where’s my dinner? Do I have to do everything around here?”
How doing nothing but lying on his lazy behind had turned into ‘doing everything around here,’ Isaac didn’t know. Nor did he have time to ponder it. He headed upstairs to change out of his Sunday best and get away from the drama. He opened his top drawer to put away his tie and socks. His thick red sock that held his money had been moved from its normal spot at the left corner of his drawer. The sock had also depreciated since he last checked it. “Th
at bum robbed me again.”
That’s when he heard his mother scream.
Isaac swore under his breath and slammed his dresser drawer shut. “That’s it. He is getting outta here.” He opened his bedroom door and stormed down the stairs.
Slam! Boom! Crash!
By the time Isaac made it to the living room, Donavan was on the phone dialing 9-1-1. Usually-wrong was standing over his mama yelling, “Get up, girl! Ain’t nothing wrong with you.”
Isaac looked at his mama. She was stretched out on the floor on top of the glass that used to be the coffee table. Blood was everywhere. Mama wasn’t moving.
“What did you do to my mama?” Isaac demanded to know.
“Boy, don’t question me.” He waved his hand. “Go on back upstairs.”
“I said, what did you do to my Mama?”
Isaac’s daddy turned to face him. “Oh, so you smelling yourself now, huh? You want a piece of me, boy?”
Isaac looked at the still form of his mother. His lip curled as he balled his fist. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I want.”
Donavan interrupted. “Come on, Isaac. Don’t do this. The ambulance is on its way.”
Usually-wrong rubbed his fist in his palm. “Come on, boy. I’m gon’ give you the whuppin’ of your life.”
A savage rage boiled in Isaac that he could not contain. When it exploded, his dad was pummeled with the residue of Isaac’s violence, but he still didn’t win. When the ambulance and police arrived on the scene, they carried his sweet mama out in a body bag. Usually-wrong went to the hospital. Isaac went to juvee.
He stopped believing in God when they sat him in the backseat of that police car.
Two years later, when his brother was in an alley shooting dice and a bullet exploded in his head, Isaac wished for the existence of God.
He wanted to track God down and curse Him to His ain’t-never-looked-out-for-nobody face, but it was useless. Nobody was going to come out of the sky to see about him, to hear his cries. Only the rain came.
So at thirty-one, when he finally returned to church, he had a gun in his jacket pocket, ill-gotten gain in his wallet, and malice in his heart.
***
Pastor McKinley gripped the pulpit with both hands and leaned his body forward as he continued his message. “Because you did not fear God, you’ve committed every sin known to man. You’ve lied, cheated, fornicated, and murdered. You’ve been a back biter, and I pity the man or woman that has to deal with your attitude and your unforgiving heart.”
Elizabeth felt a jab in her heart. My knucklehead brother had no right to talk about me like that to his pastor! Attitude, unforgiving heart, indeed!
Pastor McKinley said to the people, “I’ve tried to convince you today that God is to be feared. And the One that you should fear hates sin. So if you are deep in sin, you might ask, ‘How do I come to such a powerful God?’”
Pastor McKinley got excited. He started jumping around the pulpit. “That’s where grace comes in my friends. Oh, I know that many of you think you were saved because you were so good, so deserving of salvation. You sing your ‘All day long, no sin have I done’ song, and look down your pious noses at the rest of us.
“But I came to tell you this morning, all have sinned. And we are all saved by grace. It is a gift from God, lest any one of us should boast and take credit for His work. God lets no man instruct Him on who to bestow His grace upon. He is sovereign.
“I’m ready to meet Jesus when He returns. I have accepted His grace. Have you? Don’t sit there thinking about all the evil you’ve done in your life. God isn’t concerned with how many times you have done somebody wrong or how many times someone has wronged you. As a matter of fact, God loves you just the way you are; but He also loves you too much to let you stay that way.”
Isaac smirked, there was always a catch.
Pastor McKinley continued. “God is concerned with your heart. Are you ready to be forgiven of all your sins?”
Pastor McKinley delivered the Lord’s message for about ten more minutes. The congregation amened and high-fived each other every time he hit a nerve. Pastor McKinley didn’t believe in sugar coating the Gospel. He called sin, sin. And he called truth, the Word of God. Just as his mentor and founder of the Rock, Bishop Willie E. Mitchell Sr. had done.
As Elizabeth continued to listen, she understood why her brother liked the church so well. She thought, I like it here. I just might join this church.
Pastor McKinley finished his sermon, and as he closed the Bible he said, “During this message God revealed to me that many backsliders here today repented in their seats while I was preaching. I want the congregation to applaud you for your wise decision. Don’t turn back again.” The congregation rose and began to clap. Pastor McKinley spoke again. “But right now, I would like to make a call for salvation. If God has flashed your life before you today and you realize that you need the kind of help that only Jesus can give, I want you to come down to the altar right now, so we can pray with you.”
Tears streamed down Nina’s face as she thought about her life; How mixed up it had all become. Could this Jesus really deliver her? Does God forgive people who have abortions? Could He help her raise the child she now carried? She had tried just about everything else - men, cars, school, clothes. Nothing worked. She had sunk so low and lost so much. Maybe there was only one way to go from here. Maybe she needed Jesus and the people in this church.
“God, I sure hope You can forgive me for the way I’ve lived my life – I need somebody, Lord. I, I need You.” She stepped into the aisle. Each step she took brought her closer to the altar. Closer to forgiveness - acceptance. By the time Nina stood in front of the altar, tears were streaming down her face. Her body was tingling. Though she’d never be able to describe what peace or joy looked like, at that moment she felt it – bubbling up inside her. Someone asked her to raise her hands and repeat the sinner’s prayer.
Nina repeated the prayer, then stood at the altar completely dazed. Her body was shaking, and she couldn’t stop it. “God’s glory. That’s what this is,” she said to no one in particular. Then she smiled. For the first time in months – maybe years, she actually felt safe.
Isaac was shaking his head and smirking. “That’s alright, Nina. Run to Jesus. He didn’t save my Mama and He won’t save you.”
Elizabeth was still in her seat. She couldn’t believe the ushers didn’t sit chairs out in front of the altar and announce that the doors of the church were open.
She stayed in her seat looking down at the empty seat next to her. The man that had occupied it was now down at the altar. She looked around at the different faces in the crowd. They all seemed to have something she was missing. Right then she decided that she would have to return to this church. At her current church, she was one of the lead singers in the choir. She was asked to sing just about every Sunday. She liked the feeling she received when the congregation applauded after one of her songs, but she had never felt such soul-stirring conviction at her church. Not like she was feeling right now. She shook her head and smiled, already deciding to let her choir director know that she planned to attend The Rock more often.
12
Everything looked different to Nina as she left the church.
The leaves were falling from the trees. Their crisp brown edges danced in the air, then elegantly floated down to the softness of the glistening, greenish-yellow grass. Nina quickly stopped, wanting, needing to view this precious sight once more. Leaves had fallen from the branches of trees since the earth had been in existence, but she had never taken the time to notice the beauty of it. Why had she gone through life never seeing or noticing how beautiful this all was?
Marguerite prodded her toward the car, and as Nina hopped in the back seat, she glanced back at the finely crafted oak tree one last time. Another brown leaf danced in the air and fell in a thick bed of grass. Nina smiled, grateful that she hadn’t missed the leaf’s final performance. As she rode down the street, N
ina told Marguerite, “I feel a hundred pounds lighter.”
Marguerite smiled back at her. “That’s because your burdens have been lifted, baby.”
When they reached the house, Nina ran straight for the bathroom on the second floor. She stood there for a moment, looking at her reflection in the mirror. Same reflection from this morning, no noticeable change. Nina peered into the mirror, her eyes brightened and a smile seeped through. “That’s what peace looks like, isn’t it?”
Nina thought back to all the things she’d done in her life. The lying, the cheating, the men. She had never been able to forget about having that abortion. That pain would probably be with her for the rest of her life, but at least now she was forgiven. There wasn’t much in her past that was worth writing about. Much of her life had been one big embarrassment after another.
She sat on the edge of the tub and remembered some ugly times, when she had wronged others. Like the time, about two years ago, when she convinced a crack-head named Rose to steal some clothes out of Dillard’s Department Store. She promised Rose five dollars for each stolen outfit. Nina didn’t think she was hurting anybody, she was just getting some much-needed clothes to wear around campus. Most of the girls at Wilberforce dressed nicely. She didn’t want anyone to think that she came from a poor family, or worse yet, an adoptive family that couldn’t even afford to put decent clothes on her back.
Things didn’t go as smoothly as Nina had hoped. Rose was arrested and thrown in jail for six months. She had two children, and both were remanded to Children’s Services. The woman had been out of jail for eighteen months now, but had not been able to get her children back home.
Tears streamed down Nina’s face as sobs escaped from somewhere deep inside her soul and she bellowed, “Lord, please forgive me. Please deliver Rose from her drug addiction and unite her with her children again.” More sobs escaped her mouth. “I’m so sorry.”
Nina sat on the edge of the tub until she felt the sweet forgiveness of the Lord caress her very soul and loosen the shackles of her life. She was free. Free from the past, free from doubt and fear. But most of all, she was free from Isaac, and his tormenting grip.
Former Rain-Forsaken Box Set Page 6
