by Tinnean
“It broke my heart, Theo. You were so young, and for that bastard to take advantage of you like that, to hurt you….” His voice was stone cold, and I shivered. “He deserved to die harder than he did.”
“How did he die? You told me Haskell took care of him.” Haskell was a mean pimp, the worst in all of Florida, from what I’d heard. He abused his boys and got them hooked on drugs. He was the only man I knew Franky feared.
“Not Haskell.” Wills got to his feet. He was pale. “I lied to you.”
“Then who….” I might have been drunk last night, but I remembered what Wills and Vince had said. “You? You took care of him?”
“Yes. How could I not? He raped you.”
“No, he didn’t. I agreed to everything he did. We did.”
“Babe, you were fifteen. That son of a bitch was thirty. It was rape, plain and simple.”
I’d never thought of it that way. “What did you do to him?”
“You don’t want to know, Theo.” He was looking grim, and I decided that maybe he was right and I really didn’t want to know.
“Suppose you tell me what it is you do for a living.” He remained silent. “Obviously you’re not a troubleshooter.”
“I am. I just don’t troubleshoot computers. Well, not all the time.”
I supposed I’d known that on a subconscious level. The gun, the foreign currency I’d sometimes find in his pockets, the times I was unable to reach him, even by cell phone. I’d been so used to not questioning whoever was in my bed, but it wasn’t only that. I wanted him to be a geek, wanted to be the sophisticate to his innocent.
An ominous thought struck me, and I shivered again. “You’re a… a spook. That’s why you didn’t wear the chain when you left for that last job, isn’t it? It could have endangered you in some way.”
“No. Yes.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not CIA, Theo. I work for the WBIS, the Washington Bureau of Intelligence and Security.”
“I’ve never heard of them.”
“No one in the general public has. Most agencies in DC haven’t either.”
“Why?”
“We do the jobs no one else wants or no one else can handle.”
“You’re a… a wet boy?” I’d had some FBI agents as clients, and even one or two men who worked for the NSA. I knew the kinds of jobs those agencies handled. For the WBIS—for Wills—to be dealing with the ones they couldn’t… I didn’t want to ask what they entailed.
“That’s not my job title, although some of us have been called that.”
“You’ve killed people?”
“Some.”
“Did you… did you enjoy it?”
A flare of wild hurt crossed his face. “It’s my job.”
I braced myself, waiting for him to remind me what my job had been and to ask if I’d enjoyed what I’d done, but he didn’t. His mouth tightened, and he turned away, and I remembered the times he’d come home from out of town and fallen into an exhausted sleep plagued by nightmares. No, he hadn’t enjoyed it.
“I’m sorry, Wills. How….” I cleared my throat and swallowed. “How long have you been doing this?”
“For five years. When I found out what I’d be required to do, I wasn’t sure at first if I could.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“My… my trainer. He told me my country’s existence was on the line, and she needed people who would go the distance for her.” He met my eyes. “I’ll tell you the truth, Theo. Those bastards on Capitol Hill can go fuck themselves as far as I’m concerned, as far as most of us in the WBIS are concerned. But my country, and by extension my family?” He shrugged. “So I learned to do the job and not puke up my guts every time I had to clean up after someone else. It’s something to be proud of, the trainer told me. Only a very small number of men are recruited, and of them, the majority wash out. The ones who don’t but who can’t do what I do…. Michael was one of those. They stay at headquarters and analyze data or… do other things.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I couldn’t. No one knows, Theo, not even my family, and I have to ask that you keep this to yourself. The less they know, the safer it is for them.”
“But you’re telling me now.”
He nodded. “I love my country, Theo, and I’m good at what I do—oh, not as good as Mr. Vincent, he’s the best—but I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything, and I told you, if it ever came to a choice, I’d resign before I gave you up.”
“I can’t believe how stupid I was, never questioning….”
“Not stupid, Theo. It’s part of my job to look innocuous, unremarkable, forgettable.”
“Were you ever going to tell me what you did?”
“Yes. Once you’d agreed to marry me, I never would have kept it a secret. I intended to talk to Mr. Vincent about it on Monday, but then he called me in yesterday.”
“Yesterday?”
“It’s Saturday, babe.” He looked down, fiddled with the seam of his jeans. “Does… does this make a difference in how you feel about me?”
“I don’t know. I never….” I got out of bed and got dressed. “That scar on your back. Not from a car accident, I presume?”
“No.”
It was a dangerous world out there, and…. “I have to get some air.”
“Sure. I understand. I was afraid….” The bleakness in his tone shook me. It matched the bleakness in his eyes.
“You’re gonna be here when I get back, aren’t you?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes, it matters, goddammit! The last thing I need is you cutting and running….” I wanted to cringe. That was what I had done all my life. First with Poppa, then after I thought I’d killed Franky, and finally when I thought Wills had betrayed me. I waited for him to throw my cowardice in my face.
Instead, he said, “I’ll be here, Theo.”
“Fuck it.” There was no point in me going anywhere to think about anything. This was where I needed to be. Whatever he did, whatever he was, William Matheson was the only man I’d ever love. I went to him and took him in my arms. “I love you, and I can’t live without you—I don’t want to live without you—so just promise me one thing.” I held on to him, stroking his back, absorbing the tremors that ran through him while he did the same to me. “Stay safe for me, Wills. Promise me you’ll stay safe.”
“I promise, Theo.”
“I love you, Wills. For as long as I live, I’ll love you.”
“Oh, babe.” He tightened his arms painfully. He knew as well as I there were no guarantees in life. In spite of his promise, he could be killed on the job, but I could be killed crossing the street just as easily.
Or we could both live to be a hundred.
WILLS MADE love to me without a condom. The feel of his fingers stretching and preparing me was familiar, but the sensation of his bare cockhead at my hole, pushing steadily until it yielded to him, was like nothing I’d ever experienced in thirteen years of being sexually active. Maybe it was because the man who was thrusting in and out of my body, braced above me, his eyes fastened on mine, loved me.
“I’m… I’m close, babe.”
“So am I.” I’d been toying with my cock and balls, running a fingertip over the spot where we were joined, teasing his shaft as it withdrew from my hole and then plunged back in. I smeared the precome oozing from the slit at the tip of my cock over its length and began jerking off in earnest.
“God, you’re so hot!” Wills growled, his teeth bared, and he moved faster, driving his cock into me deeper, harder. The chain around his neck beat against his torso in time to his thrusts. I caught it in my hand and pulled his head down toward me. “Yes!” He fastened his lips to mine and swallowed my groans.
My internal muscles clamped down around the bulk of him as streamers of come erupted from me, splattering us both.
Two more thrusts and he stilled, and for the first time he poured himself into me, no barrier there to b
lunt the welcome heat of his semen.
For a while the only sound was our panting as we struggled to catch our breaths.
“That was the most amazing thing!”
“Yeah.” I rested my palm against his cheek so he met my eyes. “It was never like that for me, Wills. Before you came into my life, I never….” I bit my lip, afraid he might tease me, might say in return, “Don’t tell me you never came,” or something like that.
Instead he turned his head and pressed a kiss into my palm. “So you see, we have to stay together, Theo. We’re perfect for each other.”
“Yes, we are.” I kissed the hinge of his jaw. “Let me up. I’ll get a washcloth to clean us up, and then we can snuggle, if you like.”
“Why don’t we snuggle right now? We can shower and get dressed in a little while.”
“You don’t want to spend the day in bed with me?”
“Yes, but there’s one thing I want just a bit more.” He turned my face and brushed his lips over mine in a barely there kiss that tantalized and tingled. “I want us to pick out our rings. I have something in mind to be engraved in yours, and that will take a little time.”
“Okay. What’s it gonna say?”
“You’ll have to wait until I put it on your finger.”
“But I won’t be able to read it once it’s on my finger.”
“Really?” His eyes were opened wide, and I pinched his ass.
“Don’t try that innocent routine with me, Matheson! You just don’t want to tell me. Okay, fine. Be like that.” I tried to look hurt, but I was feeling too good, and he’d come to know me too well. He ran his fingertips over my ribs, and I convulsed into laughter, nearly bucking him off.
“I love you, Theo.” He nuzzled the spot where my shoulder and neck joined. “I’m so lucky.”
“I’m the lucky one. Out of all the people in the world, you chose me.” I sighed happily and rubbed my thumb over his nipple, plumping it. “You would look good with a nipple ring, babe.”
“Can you wait until I’m thirty-five?”
“How come thirty-five?”
“I’ll be retired from the field and then it won’t matter. They’re a little rigid about things like tattoos and body piercings.”
The same company that didn’t seem to have a problem with him openly living with another man? “Uh… okay. “ And then what he’d said struck me. “You retire at thirty-five?”
“Company policy. All active field agents retire at thirty-five and become desk jockeys.”
Eight more years. I sighed in relief. I wasn’t going to tell him, but now that I knew what he did, every time he went out of town I’d be worrying and praying that he came home safely to me.
“Babe?”
I smiled up at him. “So once you’re thirty-five, I’ll be able to talk you into getting a nipple pierced?”
“Well, I hope I’ll be able to talk you out of wanting me to have that done, but sure, if you really want me to. I’ll even get a tattoo for you.”
“My name on your ass?”
He gave a little huff of laughter. “If that’s what you want, babe.”
I’d never gotten a tattoo because in the business it wasn’t a good idea—what worked for one john most likely wouldn’t for another—but now…. We could get matching tats, not on our asses, but over our hearts. I pictured us growing old and gray together, the waistbands of our trousers up under our armpits, our dentures side by side on the night table…. I must have said it aloud.
“Theo!” Wills framed my face in his hands and bent toward me, his gaze on my lips, and I moaned and rose to meet his kiss, my only thought now how good this felt.
WE WENT to Mount Olympus later that afternoon to pick out rings. Mason, the sales associate who’d assisted me with my Valentine purchase for Wills, was working, and he recognized me.
“Good afternoon, sir. It’s a pleasure to see you again.” He looked Wills over, spotted the gold chain at the throat of his open-necked shirt, and cocked a questioning eyebrow at me.
“Yes.” I couldn’t help grinning proudly.
“Ah. He is very masculine.”
Wills’s eyebrow rose. “Theo?”
I ran my palm over his biceps. “I’ll tell you when we get home, babe.”
“How may I help you gentlemen today? We have a very nice selection of ID bracelets, as well as cuff links, lapel pins, tiepins, tie clips….”
“We’re interested in wedding rings.”
“Oh! How romantic! Let me show you….” He unlocked the cabinet beside the chains and withdrew a tray. “We’re finding there’s a demand for matching men’s rings. These are pricey, I’ll grant you, but when you’re making a commitment like this….”
Wills looked into my eyes and smiled. “We’re only getting married once, so I’d say price doesn’t really matter. What do you think about this one?” He pointed to a two-tone ring with diamonds, and Mason took it out of the tray to display it.
“A very nice choice, sir. Eighteen-karat two-tone gold. The outer edges, which are rounded to ensure the utmost in a comfortable fit, are white gold, and eight diamonds are set in the yellow gold, twisted rope center,” he recited. Did Mount Olympus have seminars so their sales associates would learn to do that?
It was the most expensive ring on the tray. “Pretty. But as Mason said, expensive. Are you sure, babe?”
“I’m sure. I think you’re worth it, but it’s your choice. Do you like it?”
I had to clear my throat. “Yes.” I didn’t want to embarrass him by gushing, but I loved it.
“See if it fits.”
“Hmm.” It slid on easily. “It’s perfect!”
“I want it engraved.” Wills grinned at me, took a piece of paper from his pocket, and handed it to Mason. “This is what I want on it, in cursive writing if that can be done?”
“Yes, but it will take a little longer, I’m afraid.” Mason read it, his expression becoming wistful.
“Not a problem.”
“It’s a line from ‘Isn’t It Romantic?’ It is, isn’t it? C’mon, tell me!” I begged.
The corner of Wills’s mouth crooked in a grin that was supposed to be innocent but didn’t fool me for a minute. “Delayed gratification, babe. You don’t want me to spoil the surprise for you, do you?”
“Humph. Fine. Be like that.” I glanced over the rings, frowning. “You said you have one that matches?”
“Of course. This one right here. If you’ll try it on?” He offered it to Wills, but I took it from him before my lover could.
Wills immediately held out his hand, smiling a little as I slid it onto his ring finger. “A perfect fit.” He rubbed his thumb over the diamond center.
“Yes, it is.” I took his hand and rubbed my thumb over his. “And I want to have something engraved in it.”
“Do you, babe? ‘Love always, Theo’?” His eyes were lit with pleasure, and he touched that spot over his heart where the charm hung.
“I’m not gonna tell you. So there.” I stared into his eyes, the perfect idea coming to me from out of the blue. “Do you have a piece of paper?” I asked Mason. I printed out the words, folded the paper in two, and handed it back to him. “Thanks.”
Making sure that Wills couldn’t see what I’d written, Mason unfolded the paper, gave a little smile, and folded it again. “In cursive also?”
“Well, I’d like Old English, but I don’t think there’s enough room.”
“What are you planning, babe?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
“I haff my vays of making you talk, you know.” He pretended to put a monocle in his eye.
Mason swallowed a smile. “As I said, this will take a couple of weeks, and I’ll call you as soon as they’re ready.”
After giving him the deposit and getting a receipt for the rings, we left Mount Olympus.
“I’m starved,” Wills murmured.
“So am I. We’re not really dressed for Raphael’s, thou
gh.”
“That wasn’t exactly what I meant.”
“Oh, no?” If we weren’t in public, I’d have kissed him.
“No.”
“Well, what do you say to pizza?” I raised a questioning eyebrow. “The Pizza Place isn’t too far from here.”
“Sounds like a good idea. We can take it home, have an early dinner, and…”
“… spend the rest of the evening practicing being married?”
“Now, that’s exactly what I meant!”
Chapter 22
WE LIMPED through the next day with satisfied grins on our faces, and stayed within touching distance of each other, even when we made calls to our families to let them know our plans. Miss Su didn’t seem to mind as long as we remembered to include her in our cuddling.
For dinner I made broiled leg of lamb with a red wine sauce and served it with tiny green beans, tomatoes provençal, and butter-fried potatoes.
“I’m stuffed, babe.” Wills, sprawled in his chair, patted his flat stomach, and finished the last drops of the Cabernet Sauvignon we’d drunk with dinner, leaving a ruby drop on his upper lip.
“Don’t get too comfortable.” I leaned forward and licked it off.
His eyes looked like molten chocolate. “Oh?” He ran his tongue over his lip, following the path mine had taken.
I wasn’t going to let him distract me, though. “We’ve got some serious planning to do.”
“We do, don’t we.” He smiled lazily.
“Yeah.” He had said that, since he’d asked me to marry him, I could choose the day, and I’d been giving it some thought. “How does August 31 sound?”
“My birthday? As?”
“The day we get married”
He flushed. “Are you sure?”
“Well, yeah. It’s a Sunday, so it would be perfect, don’t you think?”
“Don’t I…. Oh, Theo!” He jumped up, grabbed me, and hugged the breath out of me, and I prayed I never grew used to the feel of his body pressing against mine. “What a birthday present you’re giving me!”
