My Secret To Bear

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My Secret To Bear Page 4

by Becca Fanning


  “You believe he has a mate?” said the tall man.

  “He’s young, he’s got to rut with something. But…there’s another scent. A child, but only half ours.”

  The tall man perked up, eyes widening. His entire body went tense, and a look of disgust came over him. “Mixed blood,” he said, revulsion evident in his voice. “This was always what we feared: half Shifter, then quarter Shifter, then in a few generations we’ll just be like them.” His teeth clenched. “This rat heralds our doom. We have to find it. We have to end the little vermin.”

  And with that, he moved to the door, and what had been a man only a few moments before was suddenly an enormous brown bear, its flank covered in scars. The bear moved swiftly over the gravel-covered drive and into the woods at the back of the house while the older man continued to watch, keen blue eyes fixed on the darkened sky.

  The old man, the leader of the Iron Fur Clan, had lost two sons in his fight to maintain blood supremacy. One had fallen to maintain it. Another had fallen to break the bonds of it. Now he had a grandson to bring back into the fold. For a moment, he stood smiling at the thought before transforming into a pale brown bear and sliding off into the moonlit night.

  Chapter 6

  Cole stared out into the woods, his mind still racing after his encounter with Kassie. It was still difficult to process his encounter with her or, more accurately, the information that had been dropped on him after coming in contact with her again.

  The concept that he was a father was completely foreign to him. He knew that he wasn’t really a father, of course. Kassie didn’t want him to be a father to her child, and he was in no position to try and push himself into the lives of her or her child. Perhaps in another life he would have enjoyed being able to be a father to a child, and it was true that he had felt a connection to the child in the one brief moment they had shared together.

  But he also knew that he was a broken shell of a man. His time in Afghanistan had left him battered and bruised. He was more animal than he was human. The children in the villages would whisper about wahasha hilmand when a family would find it’s goat torn apart in the morning. Where does the man end and the animal begin? Wasn’t that the real problem?

  Closing his eyes, Cole turned away from the woods. The fact that he wanted so desperately to run among the trees under the moonlight was just one of the things that disgusted him so much about himself. Yes—he was an animal. He had always been an animal, but now he was even more animal than he was human. He enjoyed the thrill of being in his bear form too much.

  It terrified him to think about the fact that his daughter could be like him, but he knew he would be of no help to her even if she were like him. She would just have to come to it in her own time and on her own terms. And perhaps there was somebody out there who was better suited to teach her how to control that part of herself. It certainly wasn’t him.

  “Damn it,” he said out loud, rubbing his hands together. It had been kind of Kassie to give him something to eat and some clothes to wear that night. He was definitely in need of a little kindness for a change. It had been a long time since he had even spoken to somebody for as long as he had spoken to Kassie that evening. It almost made him feel like a normal person.

  But he wasn’t a normal person, was he? He never had been.

  Those deployments around Helmand Province had made him sure of that, even if he hadn’t already been aware of it while he was growing up. He had enlisted the day after he met Kassie, and they had shipped him off almost immediately. And it hadn’t exactly taken long for them to figure out what he was.

  There weren’t a lot of shifters in the military, but they knew about his kind. It was a surprise to Cole, even though it probably shouldn’t have been. He had learned quickly that the United States government knew a lot of things that the American public didn’t know. Among the things that they knew were that there were a lot of supernatural entities walking around, and most people would never sleep if they realized they actually existed and weren’t just fairy tales told to children.

  Once they did find out about Cole, he had quickly become an asset rather than a burden. That had been another surprise. For so long, he had tried to hide what he was, but suddenly he had become a prize to the brass. Because after all, there was nothing more powerful—or better for busting into bunkers—than an eight-hundred-pound bear.

  Sometimes when he tried to sleep at night, he could still smell the blood and gunpowder from the battlefield. He knew he still missed being able to shift at his leisure, to unleash his animal instincts whenever and wherever he felt like it. But that was the problem. He had let his animal instincts take over in Afghanistan.

  Even his squadmates had been afraid of him in the end. He had never hurt someone who wasn’t trying to kill him, not once, but they had started to avoid him whenever he was around. They had started to think that he couldn’t control that part of himself. And weren’t they right? There were too many mornings when he had woken up only to find himself away from camp with blood on him from the animals he had killed in the night.

  It had gotten to be too much when he had killed all of a Bedouin village’s livestock. The higher-ups had decided that he really couldn’t be controlled, that he was enjoying the thrill of the hunt too much and he was out of their control. So, they had done what they did with any Marine under those circumstances. They had cut him off, shipped him home, and forgotten about him.

  Now he was just a veteran with nothing to his name—no home, no family, and no friends. Miss June, the woman who had taken him in when he was a teenager, had passed away, so there was really nothing left for him in Spartanburg, and he really didn’t know why he had come back to this place. Perhaps it really was just the fact that he didn’t know where else to go, or maybe it was his animal instinct that drove him to haunt the same old places he had roamed before.

  Cole laughed at these thoughts as they wandered through his mind. He felt hollow inside… so hollow. Dropping down onto the steps of the hunting cabin, he let his head drop down and wondered just what it was that he planned to do.

  It had been months since he had been back. In that time, he had been pretty much aimless. He didn’t know why he hadn’t even tried to figure out something—a job perhaps. Maybe it was just that he didn’t care what happened to him.

  If only for Miss June’s sake, the one person who had cared about him in the past, he knew he should at least try to take care of himself. But the idea of putting himself out there in the world when he was so afraid of the beast that lay inside him… It was honestly terrifying. Cole felt like he could break at any moment. Or worse.

  He continued to sit there, staring off into the distance for some time. And as he sat, he thought he began to see and sense something off in the distance. It didn’t register at first that the shapes were anything out of the ordinary. These were the woods, and wild animals were all too common here. But soon the wind picked up, and he could smell them. They were bears, and not just any bears. They carried an unmistakable scent that was not unlike his own. It was the same as when he had found his daughter earlier.

  But that was impossible. He had never in all his life met another shifter. Cole sat up a little straighter, eyes widening in disbelief. He watched the shapes as they came moving through the tree line, two of them. They were definitely bears. He stood, wondering if he should shift too, but decided against it. Something about the idea of entering into his bestial form at this moment rubbed him the wrong way. He had resorted to that too often in the past.

  The bears continued toward him as Cole watched, moving at a quick but steady pace, until they several yards away. Then they began to shift as well, rising up in the shadows until they took the form of men. They were both older, though they both looked strong and hale, capable of handling themselves in a fight if need be. These were not people he wanted to mess with.

  “Hello,” said the older of the two, a man with stark white hair and pure blue eyes—eyes he noted t
hat were not too unlike his own. The man continued to move forward until he was only a few paces away from Cole, finally stopping at the bottom of the steps that led up to the cabin. “So, we’ve finally found you. We’ve been looking for you for a long, long time.”

  “I doubt that. I’m nobody,” said Cole.

  “Oh, we are quite sure,” said the man, and a slow smile spread across his face.

  The other man remained expressionless, watching the exchange go on from a distance as if prepared to protect the older man if necessary. But Cole didn’t want to fight. These were the first people like him he had ever met. Already his head was swimming with how surreal it felt.

  “Well, you found me, but I don’t know who you think I am,” said Cole.

  “You’re a god among ants, same as us. And a shifter of pure blood, which is more important,” said the older man. “Your mother and father were both part of our clan. They were criminals and deviants. They took you away from us. Now we’ve finally found you, and we are bringing you back home.”

  “My mother and father?” He stared blankly at the two men. “I don’t know anything about my parents,” he said. And he didn’t know how these two strangers could know anything about them either. He’d been abandoned—completely abandoned—as a baby. But the old man continued to smile at him.

  “Yes,” he said. “Your parents were part of our clan. Part of our blood. The same blood that runs in my veins runs in yours, Cole.” He took a step closer. “I know how hard this life must have been for you—never knowing anything about who you were, never having a place to fit in. But that can change. You have a place where you can belong. Your clan is ready to welcome you with open hearts and open arms.”

  Cole continued to stare at the man, unable to believe what he was saying. What was this? It seemed like something out of a dream. He took a step back, feeling his senses kick into overdrive.

  “I’ve done just fine on my own,” said Cole.

  The old man laughed again. “Hogshit. You stink worse than a human. I’m not saying this to be cruel,” he added quickly. “It’s not in our kind’s nature to be alone. That’s why we’ve come for you. We’d have come sooner if we only knew where you were. But your parents hid you from us before they died. A tragedy.”

  His words cut deep into Cole, penetrating into some part of him that wanted desperately to believe what he was saying. Was there really a place for him out there? Somewhere he could belong? Somewhere that Cole would be welcomed, where he could fit in? Relaxing just a little, he took a step forward where he could see the man’s face more clearly.

  “Then… you would really have me?” he asked. “Just like that?”

  The man nodded then seemed to hesitate. “Yes. Well, there are a few things. We need to keep the bloodline pure. So, we have a mate picked out for you if you do join us.”

  A mate? Cole cocked his head to the side.

  “And we know about your little mistake,” the man continued. “The half-blood. Just tell us where this little problem of yours is and we will take care of it. An unfortunate thing, really, but it needs to be done. Then you can start your new life. No loose ends. You understand.”

  Cole understood instantly, and he knew what he had to do.

  “Yes. I understand. And I’ll tell you everything. Come on inside,” he said, and he stepped to the edge of the threshold. The older man smiled, and the man who was with him silently came along as the three of them prepared to broker a deal for Cole’s return to the Iron Fur Clan.

  Chapter 7

  Kassie couldn’t help but be unsettled after her encounter with Cole. She kept telling herself that there wasn’t anything more that she could do for the man, but still, seeing him in the state he was in made her wish that she could somehow help him. It wasn’t just because he was the father of her child or because of the connection they’d had in the past either. It was simply because she could tell that he had a good heart, and that he was hurting, and she hated seeing a person like that in so much pain.

  But she had her own life and her child to worry about. As she worked in the diner, these thoughts still worked their way through her mind, and she considered going by the cabin where she had left him after work with some food, just in case he hadn’t managed to feed himself well enough with hunting.

  However, she didn’t even know if she would be welcome if she did drop by or whether it would be smart to continue to involve herself with the man. She wished there was somebody she could talk to about this, but there was nobody in her life right now who would really understand where she was coming from.

  “Kassie, what’s up with you today?”

  “Sorry,” she said, shaking her head as she picked up the tray from the window and spun around, getting back to what she was doing. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

  “Save it for when we’re not backed up,” said Hillary, though she sighed, not looking too angry with her. They all had their own problems at The Jukebox, and nobody took it too personally when anybody else on staff was having an off day.

  Throughout the next couple of hours, she continued to mull the problem over, not coming to any conclusion one way or the other. When she seemed to decide that it was a good idea to go ahead and leave the matter alone, her conscience seemed to get the better of her. She couldn’t fathom the idea of just leaving him there without any food, especially since he didn’t seem to know anybody else in town, and especially knowing how fragile his mental state had seemed to be when she last saw him. But then she would start to think about Taylor again, and she didn’t want to get his hopes up. After all, she still had no intention of letting him into her daughter’s life.

  However, not too long after that, the matter was resolved for her. She was waiting on a table of four when she saw a figure at the door that made her stomach clench up and her heart start beating faster.

  Cole stood there, looking hesitant for a moment before he stepped in and made his way to the table closest to the front door, taking a seat. Hillary noticed him and walked over, greeting him, but after a long moment she peered at Kassie and nodded.

  “Hey,” said Hillary a couple of minutes later, when the two of them met up again behind the counter. “That guy there said he wants to talk to you when you have a minute to take a break. He’s pretty cute. You have a thing going with him?”

  “No,” said Kassie firmly, shaking her head.

  “Shame,” said Hillary. “I was hoping you were finally getting out there again. Just because you have a kid doesn’t mean you have to live your life like a saint.”

  “That’s not…” Kassie stopped, realizing she was only digging herself into a deep hole if she tried to protest where Hillary was concerned. Already, the other woman was looking at her with a wry look of amusement on her face. “Never mind. Just give me fifteen. This shouldn’t take long,” she said, stepping out from behind the counter and making her way over to where Cole was sitting.

  He looked nervous, and when he saw her making her way toward him, his expression shifted, brows furrowing into something resembling concern.

  “Hi,” he said. “Sorry… I remembered you worked at this diner, and…”

  “You shouldn’t have come here,” said Kassie, smoothly sliding down into the seat opposite him. Now her mind was made up. She needed to distance herself from this man, and fast. It was true that she pitied him, that she wanted to help him, but it was more important to protect her daughter, and if that meant being harsh then so be it.

  “I know. But there are some…” He stopped, appearing troubled. “That is, some things have happened, and I’m not quite sure how to explain…”

  “If you need help, I can give you some phone numbers—get you in touch with some people who can give you the proper assistance,” said Kassie. “But there’s really not much else I can do for you. I honestly wish things could be different. You seem like a nice person, but…”

  “It’s not that,” he said, and he reached across the table, splaying his hand out
almost pleadingly. Now his eyes met hers, and she saw something in their deep blue depths. What was that? And why did it spark something inside her? Kassie forced herself to ignore the feeling that welled up in her heart at the look that he gave her, remembering just why she had to keep this man out of her life—for the sake of her daughter and her future happiness—and continued to shake her head.

  “No, I…”

  But Cole wasn’t finished. “Kassie,” he said. “There are some people who have found out about your… our daughter.” He stumbled over those words, as if not quite sure how to phrase them, and looked embarrassed by that fact. He took a deep breath before continuing. “I think that she could be in danger. Not just her. You too. They don’t like that the two of us were together in the past. They don’t like…”

  “Hold on,” said Kassie, putting up her hand. “I don’t understand. How could anybody have found out about Taylor unless you told them?” She stared at Cole, her worst fears about the man suddenly swelling up inside her chest. Was he staking his claim on her already? What kind of game was he playing? With a hollow laugh, she slapped her hand down on the table. “God. I knew it was a mistake trying to talk to you—trying to help you.”

  “No. Listen, Kassie…”

  “Cole. I told you already, I don’t want you involved in Taylor’s life. I’m sorry that it has to be this way, but we’re fine, just the two of us.”

  “I understand that,” he said. “And I’m not trying to push my way in.”

  “Then what is this? Why did you come here?”

  “I’m trying to tell you…”

  “No. I want the real reason,” she said. “Not some sort of story you’ve concocted.”

  Across from her, Cole squeezed his eyes shut. He was looking a little stronger than he had when she saw him before—perhaps he really had managed to hunt out in the woods, Kassie thought—but he still looked haunted by something, some ghosts from his past. Several long moments passed between them as they sat in silence before he finally answered her.

 

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