Ella giggled. 'We'll probably go to France. But it all depends on the musical. If it's a success Jeffrey won't want to be away too long.'
'And if it's a failure?'
'We'll probably stay home while he works on another musical.' Ella's voice lowered. 'After we're married he isn't going to work for Alvin. We're taking a small flat in town and he's going to continue with his music.'
'That's the best news I've heard in years,' Carolyn exclaimed. 'He's got talent and he should use it. One day he's bound to succeed. Mind you,' she said quickly, 'I'm sure this musical will be a winner. Hiram Walsh wouldn't have backed it otherwise. He's the toughest man in show business.'
'That's what I keep telling Jeffrey. But he alternates between elation and despondency.'
'So does Derek. I guess it's the artistic temperament.'
'What are you whispering about?' Jeffrey came up behind them and planted a kiss on Ella's head.
'You,' she chuckled. 'I have no other conversation.'
'How dull for everyone,' he remarked. 'You should be like Carolyn. She never talks about Derek.'
'She was just talking about him now,' Ella defended.
'That's a change.' Jeffrey's expression as he studied Carolyn was quizzical, and she had the strong impression that he knew her true feelings for Derek.
'I'm not as besotted as Ella,' she said dryly. 'I wouldn't——— '
She stopped as Derek came into the room. His black curly hair stood on end and his face was red and shiny. 'Good heavens! Who have you been fighting?'
Twenty over-excited kids.' He flopped down in an armchair. 'I was helping Margaret get them settled and they decided to have a pillow fight with me.' He made an unsuccessful attempt to smooth down the hair. The blighters could have gone on all night. I know you love kids, sweetheart, but you'll have to curb yourself when we're married. I wouldn't want another Christmas to be like this one.'
'It hasn't even begun yet,' Jeffrey said. 'Wait till they get their presents tomorrow—then you'll really see something.'
Derek grinned. 'That's what I'm afraid of.' He straightened his tie and looked at Carolyn. 'If I'd known you were going to ask twenty kids, I would have tried to stop you.'
'You wouldn't have been successful,' Carolyn replied. 'There's no point in having a house like this and have it empty at Christmas time.'
'If I'd known you wanted a full house there were lots of friends I could have asked down.'
'I want a house full of children.' Deliberately she emphasised the word 'children', for this was not the first time Derek had commented on her having invited them from the orphanage. The first time he had done so, she had been surprised, for she had assumed he liked children, and after his criticism made several weeks ago, she had watched his attitude with Piotr, disconcerted to discover that when he spoke to him his tone was false and over-hearty. To begin with she had assumed that it came from a shyness which many adults had with children, but the more she watched Derek, the more she had realised that his manner with Piotr was not due to shyness but to boredom.
Even today, though he had attempted to be friendly with all the children, she had sensed it was an act deliberately put on for her benefit. Somehow it was disquieting, making her realise yet again how little she knew about his character.
'You've got to understand one thing,' she went on seriously. 'I lived in an orphanage as a child, and I took a job in one when I grew up. For the rest of my life I'll do everything possible to give as many children as I can a real home.'
'I hope that doesn't mean you intend to keep twenty kids here permanently.'
'Not twenty, but maybe six.'
'You must be out of your mind.' Derek's voice was louder than she had ever heard it, and the redness of fatigue on his face gave way to the redness of anger. 'When we're married, I'm not sharing you with a house full of kids.'
'We'd better go upstairs and say goodnight to them,' Ella interrupted in embarrassment, looking at Jeffrey.
Goodnaturedly Jeffrey followed her out of earshot and, left alone with Derek, Carolyn felt her temper rise. 'I'm not going to be dictated to,' she said frigidly. 'If I want to have children live with me, I will.'
'You must be out of your mind. I want us to travel when we're married. I want to see the world, paint landscapes, people from other countries—damn it, Carolyn, we can't sit back here and rot.'
'I don't consider it rotting to look after children.'
'But it's not a life.'
'Then your idea of life is different from mine.' She got to her feet and smoothed down her dress. 'I don't want to hibernate any more than you do, but I don't intend to rush around like a chicken without a head. Of course, we'll travel—but I don't intend leaving Piotr for more than a month at a time.'
'What about when he goes to boarding school?'
'I don't think one should have children and send them away from home. It's a British attitude I've never understood.'
Derek opened his mouth to reply, but then closed it again. She could see he was making every attempt to control his temper and knew that whatever he said next would be false.
'I'm sorry, sweetheart,' his tone was suddenly placatory. 'It's just that I hate the idea of sharing you. I can't wait to be married, I want to be with you the whole time, Carolyn, to take you when I want you…'
The thought of being possessed by Derek was suddenly more than she could bear and she knew that—pride or no pride—and regardless of whether Alvin guessed how she felt about him, she could not marry any other man. Far better to be lonely and free then to live with a man you did not love. She looked down at the signet ring on her finger. If only Alvin had put it there! She closed her eyes. Where was he now? At a party or dining tete-a-tete with Romaine? She knew so little about him, yet she cared so much.
'Carolyn!' Derek's voice seemed to come from a long way off and she opened her eyes and saw that he had leaned forward and was staring at her intently.
'I'm sorry about what I said about the kids. If you want to have twenty living here for ever I don't mind, as long as I'm living here too.'
She said nothing. Though she longed to tell him the truth, she knew that now was not the time; no matter the effort it would cost her she could not break off her engagement until after Christmas, for to do so would put a blight on the festivities for everyone else.
But now that she had made up her mind what to do she felt an inexplicable sense of contempt and became aware for the first time how nervous and highly strung she had been over the last few weeks. It was stupid of her to have put it down to Piotr's illness; half of it was due to her having stupidly agreed to marry Derek.
'Let's go and join the rest of the family,' she said composedly, 'or they'll think we're quarrelling.'
Instantly he stood up and placed his arm across her shoulders. He was still warm from his exertion for the children, and the heat from his body made her feel nauseated. What a fool she had been ever to think she could ever have a physical relationship with a man she did not love.
As they returned to the centre of the room, Ella and Jeffrey came back and Ella looked at her questioningly. Carolyn returned the look with a smile, pleased to see the girl relaxed. 'I can't tell Derek until after Christmas,' Carolyn reiterated to herself. 'If only for Ella's sake, I've got to go on pretending.'
The Christmas week-end passed without any further incidents. Derek played non-stop with the children as though trying to make up for his earlier irritation, and even Margaret joined in the festivities and gave no one any orders.
'This is the nicest Christmas I've had in years,' Ella said as Boxing Day drew to a close. 'I hate the thought of leaving here and going back home.'
'You'll soon have your own home with Jeffrey.'
Ella's eyes shone. 'I know—and I can't wait.'
'Have you set the wedding day yet?'
'No. Jeffrey won't make any definite plans until after the opening of the musical.'
'I can understand that,' Carolyn said. 'I gues
s I'd be exactly the same.'
'I'm just so scared in case anything goes wrong.'
'Make up your mind that it will—then when it's a success you'll have a wonderful surprise.'
'I hope so,' Ella said fervently. 'I do hope so.' She put out her hand to Carolyn. 'What about coming over to the house to see me? We never meet unless I come here.'
'This week's hopeless. The children aren't leaving until Thursday, and on Friday I'm going to London to get a dress for Jeffrey's first night.'
'It's nice to hear you talking extravagantly. Let Darien make something stunning for you.'
'I'd like Mrs. Nichols to have one from him, but she won't let me pay for it.' Ella glanced behind Carolyn's shoulder and Carolyn turned to see Mrs. Nichols by the door. She knew that the woman had overheard, and so she made no pretence. 'I wish you'd change your mind and let Darien do a dress for you.'
'I have changed my mind.'
'You're not kidding?'
'Not at all. I should never have refused in the first place. It was just stupid pride.'
Knowing how stupid pride could be, Carolyn could understand Mrs. Nichols' feelings. 'Oh, boy,' she said. 'Darien will have to cook up something really special for both of us. I think I'll have a very low-cut dress in a bright colour.'
'What's got into you?' Ella asked. 'I've never known you so full of beans.'
Carolyn wished she could have said her elation came from a sense of freedom at her decision to break with Derek, but she was stopped by her determination to keep the week-end free of tension. Besides, it would not be right to tell anyone else that she was breaking her engagement before she had told Derek.
But unfortunately fate was against Carolyn. She had planned to tell Derek that night, as soon as Jeffrey had driven Ella home, but Derek asked them to drop him at the cottage on their way back.
'My car is in dock,' he explained, 'and I want to do some work on Romaine's portrait. I've promised it to her for the New Year.'
'What's wrong with your car?' Jeffrey asked.
'It's being decoked.' He sneezed. 'The real trouble is that I need a new one.' He sneezed again. 'Another few more portraits like Romaine's and I'll be able to afford to buy one.' For the third time he sneezed and Carolyn put her hand on his forehead.
'I think you've got a temperature.'
'I wouldn't be surprised. I've been feeling a bit off colour for the last couple of hours.'
'Stay behind for an hour and I'll drive you back,' she said.
'I can't. I must get cracking on the painting. I should never have spent the whole week-end here.'
Accepting the fact she would have to delay speaking to him alone, she watched from the doorway as he drove off with Jeffrey and Ella. Much as she wished she had been able to give him back his ring tonight, she was at least comforted by the knowledge that she had made up her mind on her course of action.
Later that evening Derek spoke to her on the telephone, his conversation punctuated by fits of coughing and sneezing. 'I'd better stay away from you for the next couple of days. I don't want to give you my cold.'
'I'm not afraid. I'll come over and see you in the morning. I want to talk to you.'
'No. I'm coughing all over the place, and I refuse to have you around.' He sneezed violently and when he spoke again his voice was thin and tired. 'Did you want to talk to me about anything special?'
Unwilling to tell him the truth over the telephone, and particularly when he was feeling ill, she hedged on the answer. 'I guess it'll have to wait. I hate long conversations on the telephone.'
'Then you're the first woman who does! Take care of yourself, honey, I'll phone you tomorrow night.'
'You'd better make it late. I'm going up to London to order a dress.'
'Make sure you buy yourself one without a frill in the front.'
She laughed. 'It will be as low as I can decently wear it!'
Carolyn remembered her remark as she and Mrs. Nichols sat in Darien's salon and watched the mannequins show off his latest collection. She marvelled at the ease she now felt here and knew without her realising it, that money had made a subtle difference to her attitude.
'I rather fancy the blue satin for myself,' Mrs. Nichols said.
'An excellent choice,' Darien agreed. 'I can see you still have the same excellent taste. Who is dressing you these days?'
'The local dress shop!'
'And the same humour too. You must come back here as a client, Mrs. Nichols.'
'She will,' Carolyn said. 'I promise you that. But what have you got up your sleeve for me?'
'A magical dress,' he said promptly, and snapped his fingers.
A model glided in wearing a dress of emerald green jersey that hugged every curve of her figure. Breasts, waist and rounded hips were clearly outlined: only below the knees did it allow sufficient room for movement, and this was achieved by a long slit which disclosed a slim ankle and green diamante shoe.
'The lady from Shanghai!' Carolyn murmured. 'You don't think I'm going to wear a dress like that!'
'Naturellement,' Darien said. 'And on you it will look even better. You have more up here,' he gestured with his hands, 'and less down there.' He gestured again. 'It is only for you, this dress. Mrs. Anderson wanted it, but she is not tall enough for such a style.'
Carolyn knew the battle was lost and wondered wryly whether Darien had purposely mentioned Romaine's name.
'Very well, I'll have it. But only if you're sure it's going to make me a knock-out.'
'My dear young woman, this dress is guaranteed to knock anyone out!' He smiled. 'Have you anyone particular in mind?'
Carolyn thought of a slim, enigmatic man with silver-blond hair and an expressionless face.
'Yes,' she said brightly. 'I most certainly have!'
CHAPTER TWELVE
Derek's cold developed into 'flu and Margaret returned to the cottage to look after him. Thankfully, Carolyn took over care of Piotr and for a week devoted herself to the boy.
Unexpectedly on the day before Jeffrey's musical Margaret came back, her face as white as her starched uniform.
'I couldn't let you know I was coming back, Carolyn, the phone at the cottage was out of order.'
'I didn't think you'd be returning. You look as if you could do with a rest yourself.'
'The cottage isn't big enough for two of us. Particularly when Derek's in such a foul mood.'
'Men make lousy patients, don't they?'
Unexpectedly Margaret smiled. 'I hope you aren't annoyed that I've come back, but looking after Piotr has done me a world of good. I promise I'll leave as soon as you let him start school again.'
'That's a deal.' Carolyn walked into the breakfast-room, a frown on her face. She did not want Margaret to remain in the house once she had broken her engagement to Derek. Not that that was likely to occur for a few days yet: never had she known a cold take so long to disappear
The day of the musical arrived and instead of travelling up to London at night, Jeffrey booked a suite at Claridge's and wandered in and out of his mother's room and Carolyn's asking them to fasten his collar stud, tie his bow and finally to assure him that he looked presentable.
'Not one will bother to look at you,' Mrs. Nichols said sharply. 'At least, not until the end.'
'The end!' Jeffrey groaned. 'Oh, my God! I don't think I'll go. I'll stay here—that's what I'll do—and you can phone the result through to me. If it's good I can be at the theatre in ten minutes, and if it's bad I'll crawl under the bed!'
'You always used to do that,' his mother said equably. 'Whenever you did anything wrong I always knew I could find you under the bed.'
'How commendable of me,' Jeffrey said. 'Most people who do anything wrong are usually in it!'
Carolyn smiled as she heard the conversation and walked through from her bedroom. 'Is Ella coming here or are we picking her up?' 'They're coming here. I thought we'd have a drink first.' His eyes widened. 'That's some dress you're wearing! Lucky Derek's not here or
he'd pass out.'
'Sometimes your humour's so infantile, Jeffrey.'
'The emotions that dress arouse certainly aren't! I think I'll have to call you the serpent!'
'Suits me. Any doubts I had about this outfit have completely disappeared. I feel quite different in it.'
'You look different. The little girl has gone and a woman of mystery and allure has taken her place.' He posed dramatically. 'Bring me a piano and I'll compose a song for you.'
'Compose a drink instead,' his mother said. 'I think I can hear Ella arriving.'
They moved into the lounge and Carolyn bent close to the electric fire.
'Watch out,' Jeffrey said, 'or you'll be had up for indecent exposure!'
'The Italian film stars do it,' she riposted. 'Why can't I?'
There was a knock at the door and Ella, Alvin and Romaine came in.
'Welcome!' Jeffrey boomed. 'What about spending the evening here?
'Idiot!' Ella said fondly, and kissed him on the chin. She looked beyond him to Carolyn. 'Heaven help me, who is that gorgeous girl?'
'This,' Jeffrey said, waving his arm, 'is Canada's answer to Catherine Deneuve!'
Carolyn flushed but valiantly bore the scrutiny of three pairs of eyes. She was glad she was wearing exceptionally high heels, for she towered majestically above Romaine and her eyes were on an exact level with Alvin's.
'My dear,' Romaine moved forward. Her white tulle skirts floated ethereally around her and her black hair was caught back from her face with two diamond stars. 'My dear,' she said again, 'aren't you afraid of catching cold?'
To give in now, Carolyn knew, would make her feel riled for the rest of the evening. She tilted her chin. 'Why should I feel cold?' she drawled. 'I've got love to keep me warm.'
'You'll need rather a lot to do the trick in that dress!'
'The dress is the trick!'
'Here, here,' Jeffrey interrupted. 'And I'll willingly be the dupe!'
Ella wrinkled her nose. 'I'm devastated with jealousy. I feel like a mouse in mine.' She dismissed the gold satin maxi-dress she was wearing.
Rachel Lindsay - Mask of Gold Page 19
