With an effort Mrs. Nichols subsided, and after a moment began to relate Piotr's excitement at the pantomime.
'I've never known a child to be so good. This morning he stayed quietly in bed until I woke up. We could really have stayed in town today, but I don't want him to miss school.'
'How are Jeffrey and Ella?'
'Fine. I believe Alvin's home.'
'He is, I saw him today.'
'What a pity I missed him. How was he?'
'In the best of health.' Carolyn pushed away her plate and Mrs. Nichols, seeing the look on her face, stood up.
'Let's go into the drawing-room and you can tell me what's wrong.'
Seated in front of the brightly burning log fire Carolyn found it difficult to begin, but finally managed to repeat the gist of her conversation she had had with Alvin earlier that day. Mrs. Nichols listened with amazement.
'You mean he knew all along Piotr wasn't Rosemary's son?'
'Yes.'
'Then why didn't he tell me or Jeffrey?'
'He wanted proof. He believes I was in cahoots with Margaret and Derek. I tried to convince him I wasn't, but it was like talking to a brick wall.'
'He must be mad,' Mrs. Nichols said decidedly. 'Why, if you were in league with Derek and Margaret, you wouldn't have told us about it. You'd have paid to keep Derek quiet!'
'He thinks that once I realised the game was up I decided to throw myself on your mercy in the hope that you'd grown so fond of Piotr you wouldn't want to throw us out.' Carolyn pressed her hands to her temples. 'And from his point of view, his reasoning's valid.'
'I'll have a word with Alvin Tyssen,' Mrs. Nichols said firmly. 'Strikes me he hasn't behaved normally since Rosemary ran off with Peter. That young man is going to have a piece of my mind—position or no position.'
'He'll just think you've been fooled by me,' Carolyn said bitterly. 'Why should he listen to you?'
'Because he's not in love with me. It's an emotion that makes fools of all of us. I'm sure Alvin will see things differently once I've had a chance to explain to him.'
'I don't want you to. Lack of faith can't be restored as easily as that.'
'I'll restore it for him,' Mrs. Nichols said sharply.
'I wasn't thinking of him. It's my faith you won't restore. Mine!' Carolyn buried her head in her hands. 'I can't forgive him for believing I was capable of such behaviour. Every time I think of him I'll remember the things he accused me of.'
'You'll forget.'
'Never. And certainly not as long as I remain here. That's why I must go away.'
'You can't do that!'
She rolled her damp handkerchief between her palms. 'I love Alvin,' she explained. 'I only got engaged to Derek because of Alvin's association with Romaine.'
'My dear!' Mrs. Nichols came over and drew Carolyn close. 'I never realised… I must say I couldn't understand what you saw in Derek, but now it all makes sense.'
'I must leave here,' Carolyn said. 'I won't make anything of my life while I'm so close to Alvin.'
'That's nonsense.'
'It isn't. Besides, it'll spoil things for everyone if Alvin won't come here.'
'He'll come after I've finished talking to him,' Mrs. Nichols said grimly. 'He's acted like a stupid child.'
'It's no use. I've made up my mind to go.'
Mrs. Nichols' face crumpled and she began to cry, slow difficult tears. "You're not going to take Piotr away. I can't bear it. You said yourself that a home and family are important. Stay here with him.'
'I can't.' There was a note of finality in Carolyn's voice that stopped Mrs. Nichols from going any further. With an effort the woman composed herself, straightening her back and blinking away her tears.
'If you really want to go, you'll at least let me take care of you and Piotr financially.'
Carolyn was incredulous. 'I wouldn't take money from you— and I certainly don't intend to take Piotr away from here. He loves you as much as he loves me. I'm the only one who's going.'
'Oh, my dear!' No longer could the woman hold back her tears, and she started to cry again. Carolyn listened, almost too overwhelmed to feel any emotion whatever. It was as though grief had numbed all her feelings.
At last Mrs. Nichols became more composed, and wiping her eyes, leaned back in her chair. 'Are you convinced you're doing the wise thing in going away? Wait until I've talked to Alvin.'
'I don't want you to talk to him. Let him go on thinking the worst about me.'
'But that's ridiculous!'
'Perhaps it is. But it boils down to a question of faith. He hasn't got any as far as I'm concerned. I don't want him to be talked into it by you.'
'You'll regret it one day. Pride makes a poor bedfellow.'
'I'll take my chance on that.'
Mrs. Nichols sighed. 'When do you plan to go?'
'Tomorrow.'
'So soon?'
'It's the best way. It'll save me explaining to Jeffrey and Ella. Make some excuse for me. Say I've been called back to Canada or that I've found a long-lost mother!'
'Poor Carolyn. You'll come back to see Piotr, of course?'
'One day, when I can bear it. If you're going to make a break it's got to be clean.' She bent forward and kissed Mrs. Nichols. 'I've loved knowing you. Give my love to Ella and Jeffrey.'
'Is there nothing I can say to make you change your mind?'
'Nothing.'
Carolyn left Royston Manor the following morning. She kissed Piotr and saw him depart for school with Betty, then hurried upstairs to finish her packing and say a last good-bye to Airs. Nichols.
'You still feel the same about it this morning?' the older woman asked.
Carolyn smiled faintly. 'Exactly the same.'
'At least let me give you some money.'
'Not a cent. Heck, I'm a trained nurse. I can easily get a job.'
But it was not so easy. Carolyn had not brought any references with her when she left Canada and the two London hospitals to which she applied for a job were reluctant to take her until they received testimonials from Toronto. Meanwhile her resources were dwindling and she had almost given up hope when at the end of a fortnight the long-awaited letter from Canada arrived, together with her report cards and references. In the short while that she had been in London, she had decided it would be safer to go to a town where she would not be afraid of meeting anyone who knew her. Where should it be? And what place should she work in—an orphanage or a hospital? This time she decided to let her head rule her heart and after searching through copies of the Nursing Mirror she wrote applications to three hospitals in the north of England.
Exactly a month after she had left Royston Manor, Carolyn enrolled as a nurse in one of Liverpool's largest hospitals. The strict routine and punctilious supervision given to all ranks was entirely different from anything she had been accustomed to in
Canada, as were the ugly uniforms, the heavy black shoes and stockings and ungainly caps. But it was a job that required all her energies; during the days she was too busy to think and at nights too exhausted.
Remembering how easily she had traced Mrs. Nichols through the postmark, she was careful not to send any letter from Liverpool and on her first free day took a train to Manchester where she posted her letters to the family and a parcel to Piotr. How she missed the little boy, missed too the leisurely life of Royston Manor! It was strange how easily one could become accustomed to doing nothing, much more easily than one could become accustomed to hard work.
At the beginning of March, Carolyn was sent to the maternity ward. Looking after babies again gave her a happiness she had not experienced since leaving Piotr and she wondered how he was getting on at school and whether he missed her. She longed for news of him and decided that on her next day off, she would go to Manchester and telephone Terring. What a fool she was not to have thought of that before! She sighed, jerked out of her reverie by someone calling.
'Nurse! Ate. Hughes is waiting for her baby.'
; 'Sorry, Sister.'
Carolyn closed the linen cupboard and hurried down the corridor to the nursery. Loud squawks were coming from inside and half a dozen screaming bundles were making themselves heard. She walked over to a cot at the end, lifted up a baby and holding it firmly against her, with one hand around the warm, soft scalp, took it into the ward and placed it in its mother's arms.
'What a little love it is,' the woman exclaimed. 'Have you been crying for your mummy?'
'She's been as quiet as a mouse,' Carolyn lied. 'Not a peep out of her!'
Ate. Hughes moved in the bed. 'Could you clear away the newspapers, Nurse? I can't bear the mess.'
Carolyn collected the magazines and newspapers and placed them in a pile on the locker. A small caption on the front page of the daily newspaper caught her eye and she bent to look at it. 'New Musical by Jeffrey Nichols', she read. 'Another smash hit last night from the author of 'Waiting for Ella'.
'Anyone you know?' Ate. Hughes asked. 'You've gone scarlet.'
'It's from bending. I must go and bring in the rest of the batch.'
She hurried out of the room. It was wonderful about Jeffrey.
How happy he and Ella must be! Had they remembered her when they sat in the box last night? She pushed open the nursery door and walked in. No doubt Alvin had been there too, sitting next to Romaine and holding her hand. Strange that she could think of him with another woman and not feel bitter, not feel anything at all, except when she remembered how he looked without his glasses.
'Sister wants you, Nurse,' another nurse said.
Carolyn turned. 'What's wrong?'
'Don't know, but she doesn't sound crotchety.'
'All right. Then I'll take this baby along first.'
She picked up a bundle in a blue blanket and walked along the corridor to the ward, crooning to the child.
Sister came out of her room. 'Nurse! I wanted to see you. Didn't you get my message?'
'I was taking the baby along—- '
'Well, don't wait in the draughty corridor, then. Do it and come back here.'
'Yes, Sister. I——— ' The rest of Carolyn's sentence died as a man came out from Sister's office. The light was behind him, but immediately she recognised the slight figure, the arrogant blond head and silver-rimmed glasses.
'Alvin——- '
'Do take the baby in, Nurse. You can come back immediately.'
Hardly aware of what she was doing, Carolyn left the child with its mother, saw that the feeding was begun correctly and then reported to Sister's office.
Alvin stood staring out of the window and Carolyn did not look at him.
'Mr. Tyssen was sent up in error,' Sister began. 'When he asked for the maternity ward the receptionist thought he was an expectant father.'
In spite of herself Carolyn could not hold back a smile and Sister's voice became even sharper. 'I have explained that I do not allow my nurses to have visitors when they are on duty, but in the circumstances I will give you'—she glanced at her watch—'ten minutes. You can talk to Mr. Tyssen in the visiting- room. It's empty as it is not visiting day.'
'Thank you, Sister.'
Carolyn turned to Alvin and spoke to a point beyond his shoulder. 'Would you follow me?'
She led the way down a couple of steps and into a small, cheerless room that looked out on to a courtyard. She moved over to the window and stood there.
'I wouldn't have recognised you in that get-up,' he said quietly. 'You look different.' He glanced down at her starched pink and white uniform and involuntarily she put her hand to her cap. 'It hasn't fallen off,' he said with a smile. 'Don't worry.'
She marvelled that he was able to make trivial conversation and clasped her hands behind her back to hide their trembling. She had not yet recovered from the shock of seeing him and wished desperately for the ten minutes to be over.
'How did you manage to find me?'
'With very great difficulty! You've no idea of the number of women who answer to the description of five foot six, blonde hair and green eyes.'
'I'm glad I'm not unique.'
'You are, inasmuch as you are both foolhardy and obstinate.'
Anger began to rise in her. 'How dare you come here and call me names! If that's all you have to say you'd better go.'
'When I've travelled nearly three hundred miles to see you? Come, come, Carolyn, you know me better than that. And at last,' he said, moving towards her, 'I'm beginning to get a clear picture of you.'
'Has Mrs. Nichols…' she stopped, and his mouth curved.
'Mrs. Nichols has not broken her word, if that's what you were going to say. But last night was the opening of Jeffrey's show.'
'I read about it. I'm glad it was a success.'
'And I didn't feel in the mood for holding another party,' he continued as if she had not spoken. 'It brought back too many memories. So I went back to the flat and Jeffrey followed to see if I was all right. We had a quiet little chat for the first time since you went away.' He banged his hand hard on the rickety waiting-room table. 'To think that none of this need have happened if Jeffrey had spoken to me earlier. But no! He was too busy writing his damn musical and having a honeymoon to tell me…' He stopped and with an effort continued: 'To tell me that almost from the moment you arrived at the house, you tried to change the will and get die money made over to the family.'
Carolyn let out her breath. 'I'd forgotten all about that. I discussed it with Mr. Arnold before I became engaged to Derek. From the moment I knew Mrs. Nichols was fond of Piotr it was in my mind. I thought that if she and Jeffrey were the trustees instead of me, it would cut out any resentment they had for the child.'
'And you were willing to give up being the trustee yourself in order to do that?'
'Naturally.'
'Why didn't you tell me this?'
'Because I don't give a damn about your opinion of me!'
'I can't blame you for being bitter. There's nothing you can say to me that I haven't already said to myself. I want to make it up to you, Carolyn.'
'Another cheque for a thousand pounds to help me?'
He winced. 'I deserved that.'
'You deserve a lot more—and you'll get it too if you stick to that…' Annoyed with herself for showing jealousy she turned her head away.
'To Romaine?' There was a note of humour in his voice. 'I'm not getting her, incidentally.'
'Poor Alvin! Let down on all sides.'
'I was the one who did the letting down,' he explained, his voice very close to her. 'From the night I held you in my arms in the flat I never made love to Romaine or any other woman.'
She began to tremble. 'I'm not interested.'
'Maybe not. But I wanted you to know.' He paused. 'What can I offer as an excuse? I misjudged you and I apologise. But you can't blame me completely. I had some justification for thinking you guilty and the fact that I was falling in love with you made me even more afraid. I had to force myself to go on with the investigation because I knew that if we were ever to have any future together it would have be based on truth. My intention was to find out all the facts, confront you with it and go on from there.'
'Was that why you told me to clear out?'
'I lost my temper.'
There was a silence and she stared resolutely through the window. 'I can't believe your story, Alvin. It was kind of you to come and apologise and I appreciate it. Now you can go.'
'I want to marry you, Carolyn.' He spoke so quietly that she could barely hear him. 'Carolyn, I love you.' His voice was strained and fluctuating in sound. 'I love you. I've never apologised to anyone before and it doesn't come easy, but I love you. I'm not much to look at and I'm a crock, too, but whatever there is of me and for whatever it's worth, it's yours.'
'I'm not interested in the Tyssen chemical works, so you needn't bother trying to sell yourself.'
He caught his breath and his hand fell to his side. 'You're very hard, Carolyn. I wish I…' He broke off and there was a faint sound behi
nd her. She turned surreptitiously and saw that he had crumpled on to a chair, his face glistening with sweat, his hands gripping tightly to the edge of the table.
'Alvin, what is it?'
'My head. It'll pass in a minute.' He shuddered and blindly fumbled at his glasses. 'It started this morning.'
'You had no business travelling.'
'I wanted to see you.' He smiled faintly. 'I took a pill before I came here. It should begin to work soon.'
She bent forward and loosened his tie and the top button of his shirt. There was the faint pink mark of a collar stud on his throat, and at sight of it her heart began to beat more quickly.
'What a fool you are, Alvin. You know very well you should lie down when you get an attack.'
'I tell you I had to see you. I only discovered yesterday where you were.'
Suddenly a thought struck her. 'How long have you been trying to locate me?'
'Ever since you left Royston.' He kept his eyes closed, but his lips moved in a slight smile. 'It was like a detective story, except that this won't have a happy ending.'
'Alvin, I still don't understand. If you only found out the truth about me last night, why have you been looking for me all his time?'
'Because from the minute you ran away, my one thought has been to find you again.'
'Even though you believed I was a…'
She hesitated and he lifted his head gingerly. 'A gold-digger? Yes, my dear, even though I believed that. I wanted you so much that I didn't care what you'd done or what you'd been so long as you agreed to marry me and let me take care of you. Believe it or not, I was going to try and reform you! Then yesterday morning the detective agency told me where you were. I'd have come here right away had it not been for Jeffrey's show. The rest of the story you know. I went back to my flat and Jeffrey came to see me.'
'So it wasn't until the very end that you learned the truth about me?'
'Yes.' His voice was a fine thread of sound. 'I don't blame you for being bitter. If I hadn't been so blinded by love I'd have realised how wonderful you were. Too wonderful for me.'
'Don't say that, Alvin.' Tears poured down her cheeks and she knelt at his side. 'If I thought you hadn't had faith in me I could never have married you. But knowing you were willing to make me your wife, to protect me and look after me, even when you thought I was…' She bit her lip and hid her face against his jacket. She could feel the heavy thudding of his heart and his hand light and warm, on her hair. 'I shouldn't be upsetting you like this,' she sobbed. 'It'll make your headache worse.'
Rachel Lindsay - Mask of Gold Page 23
