by Mandi Beck
Seven
Jason
Should I be kissing Stella Cruz right now? No. No, I should not, but there was no way I couldn’t. She stood there, handing me my ass, poking me in the chest. With her hair up in a messy bun and big black glasses that swallowed up her face, coupled with comfy sweats and a T-shirt that said Jolly AF, how could I not kiss her? I couldn’t explain the pull I felt to her all those months ago, and I can’t explain it now, but the fact that she’s carrying my kid magnifies it by about a fucking million. I want to tuck her under my arm, roll her in bubble wrap, and let nothing and no one hurt her.
That’s a problem for me. I don’t do relationships and I don’t do chivalrous shit, but this girl is pushing all my buttons, making me want to try things I wouldn’t normally. Just when I’m trying to decide how far to take this, the doorbell rings, making her jump back.
“Easy, Stell. It’s just the Chinese.” I grin, taking a second to admire the way she looks in this moment. Her lips are bruised from my kiss, her belly swollen with my baby, and her glasses sit slightly askew. Fuck me, I’m dead. Before I can grab her up again, the delivery guy rings the bell a second time. “Go sit on the couch, I’ll bring it in.”
After paying the guy and kicking the door closed, I walk back to where Stella sits on the floor Indian-style, gazing at the tree and lights my sister came and put up for me. The lights from the harbor and the decorated boats and slips look like glittering diamonds from up here.
“Your tree is so pretty. I always put up a little Charlie Brown tree or something in my room. I love this time of the year, used to love decorating the tree and making cookies, but since my abuela passed away…” She trails off, the sadness evident in her voice.
“I’m sorry, Stella. I wish I could have met her.” And I do. Stella told me stories about what it was like growing up with her grandmother after her parents died. The way she stepped up to take care of Stella and her brother.
“She would have liked you,” she tells me, smiling as she removes containers from the bag.
“You think so?” Sitting next to her on the floor, I stretch my legs underneath the table.
“Yup. Abuelita had a thing for handsome guys, especially successful ones. I think she always hoped some successful man would show up on his white horse and save me from ending up like her.”
“Like Pretty Woman?”
Stella snorts out a laugh. “Yeah, except without the prostitution.”
I can’t help but chuckle at that. “Probably.”
“Jason, who the hell is going to eat all of this? Are you expecting company?”
I shrug as I look around the table at all the food. “I was hungry when I called. Plus, it’s season, I burn a lot of calories,” I say defensively.
“Not this many,” she sasses. Chopsticks in hand, she starts digging into her container, moaning around a mouthful of the spicy-smelling noodles. “This is so good. I haven’t had Wu’s since the last time with you,” Stella says, dipping back in for another bite.
“It’s the best. I think I must have eaten there three times a week when I was in school here.”
“I don’t blame you. You probably miss it when you’re back in Chicago.”
“I do, but there are some amazing places to get Chinese. Especially in China Town.”
“Yum. A whole little town with Chinese food. I would love that.” The look on her face is one of pure bliss. It makes me happy I can make her this content with something so simple.
“So, what do you wanna be when you grow up, Stell?”
“A teacher and a coach.”
I snort out a laugh. “You can’t be a teacher.”
“Ummm…why the hell not?” she demands.
“Because you’re too damn hot. I think there’s a law or something about it.”
“Oh my god. Shut up.” Her laugh is infectious, and I can’t help but join in.
“It’s true! Those poor boys wouldn’t stand a chance.”
“Well, that’s the plan. I already have a couple prospects. All of them know about the baby, and are super understanding and accommodating.” My fork stops mid-bite as I think about what she just said. I hate she’s going to be alone, but how the hell am I going to convince her she should come to Chicago. Do I even want that?
“Where at? Here?” I ask, avoiding the things I really want to say.
“Couple places. Florida, here in Mass, and even Chicago.” Her chopsticks make a clacking sound as she works them into her mouth like a pro. “They’re all for high schools, which excites me because that’s serious softball. I don’t want that part of my life to be over yet. Probably not ever, really,” she admits.
“I can understand that. I don’t know what I would do without hockey.” I love that we have something like that we can connect on. Sports are a way of life not everyone can understand.
“You ever think about what you’ll do when hockey is over?” she asks, genuinely curious.
“I don’t like to think about that day,” I admit, laughing self-consciously. I don’t have too many years left in hockey, as it’s tough on your body, but a decade is what I’m hoping for.
Full, I push my containers away and stretch out, my arm resting on the seat cushion Stella leans against. I can feel the heat she’s throwing and move my arm closer, so it’s touching her now. If she notices, she doesn’t say anything as she continues to eat happily, giving me the chance to look at her. The way her glasses slide down and she scrunches her nose up to try to lift them back into place. Her smooth, soft skin the color of caramel. Full lips that bring me back to the vision of her on her knees in the penalty box, wrapped around my cock. Biting back a groan, I drop my napkin in my lap to try and hide the growing hard-on.
“What does your brother think about the baby?” I ask, knowing it will matter to her. He’s all she has left since her grandmother passed away last year. She told me that weekend we spent together that her parents died in a car accident when she was little. She and her brother, Carlo, went to live with their grandmother in a tiny apartment in Lynn, and that’s where they stayed until he went off to the Marines and she got a scholarship to FU.
“He’s disappointed in me, but excited to be an uncle.”
“I’m sorry.” I’m not sorry she’s pregnant. In fact, the more I think about it, the more excited I am. I am sorry her brother is disappointed in her and I can tell by her tone it bothers her. Makes me want to throw down the gloves with his ass, though. He has to know how upset that would make her.
“Don’t be. Carlo will get over it.” Stella leans back releasing a long breath. “Oh my god, that was good. This baby can’t get enough of the spicy food.”
She pats her belly and smiles at me. She’s so slender, it looks like she swallowed a basketball. Without thinking, I reach out and place a hand over her rounded belly. She tenses for a moment, then covers my hand with her own and drags it over to the side a bit. “He was just rolling over here, maybe you’ll get to feel it. It’s wild.” Her eyes shine brightly with a happiness that literally makes her glow.
“He? Is the baby a boy?” I ask excitedly.
“Oh, I don’t know. I just get tired of calling it it all the time.”
I nod in understanding. The baby already seems like so much more than “it” to me, so I get it. “Will you find out the sex?”
“I want to. The student insurance is mediocre at best, and they only cover one ultrasound, so I’ve been saving it, just in case something happens.”
My teeth clack together in irritation. She’s carrying my baby. Mine. Jason Dagger, someone who holds a multimillion-dollar-a-year NHL contract, and she’s going to student aid for health care. If I lose my cool with her over this, she’s going to give me hell. Stella is proud and independent, and not impressed by my money or the fact that I’m a pro athlete. This one fucking instance I wish she were, though. “Will you do me a favor and see if they can schedule you for an ultrasound while I’m here? I’ll pay for another one if you end up
needing it,” I say, treading carefully.
I can see her think about it before nodding. “I can try. I think they’re gone during the holidays. I swear I’m the only one on campus or taking any classes during this break.”
I relax again, happy that went easier than I thought. I need to figure out a way for her to allow me to pay for this shit. The thought that she and my kid aren’t getting the best care makes me want to break shit. I chuckle to myself, thinking how easily I’ve accepted all of this. I’ll probably freak the fuck out later, but right now, I just want to take some of the pressure and responsibility from her. I also want to stop wishing I could lay her down and strip her naked. I’m not sure I’ll ever quit that one, though. I gather the food containers to bring in the kitchen, stopping her when she gets up to help. “No way, woman. You’ve just got off work. Sit and chill. I’ll get this.”
I also need the few minutes alone to think about how I’m going to convince her to take money from me. I probably have a better chance of fucking her, and as tempting as that sounds, I know it won’t help me right now. Well, it’ll help me, but it won’t help our situation.
“Okay, I’ve fed you so that you’re not hungry and we can talk,” I tease as I walk back into the room.
Stella groans. “I’m gonna hate this, aren’t I?”
“We gotta talk about things, Stella. I’m only here for a few days, and my schedule is gonna get nuts as soon as I get back.”
“I know. I know.” She slips from the floor and settles on the couch, tucking her legs underneath her. “Well, you know that I don’t want your money. Of course I won’t stop you from seeing the baby, but that’s stuff we’ll have to work out after I have her.”
“I know you don’t want my money, but whether you like it or not, you’re going to get it. I mean, I have to pay child support.” She’s about to argue with me when I go and sit beside her. “No, Stell. I know that you’re proud and independent and used to doing things on your own, but so am I. What kind of man would I be to not take care of my kid? You asking me to be a deadbeat dad? I’m just as proud as you are. I’m going to provide for my child. I’ll call my lawyer tomorrow to have paperwork drawn up, and see how to go about coming up with a fair amount for you.”
“Your lawyer? You have a lawyer? I can’t even wrap my mind around that.” She shakes her head and I can see I’m losing her.
“I have to have one for my contracts and the team’s legal obligations and stuff. It’s not like I just have a lawyer to follow me around for shits and giggles.”
“I don’t want money from you. People are gonna talk so much shit. I’m not a gold digger, Jason.”
“I know that. If you were a gold digger, I wouldn’t be finding out about this baby when you’re just a couple months from giving birth, and fighting with you to take my damn money.” Never in my fucking life did I think I would be saying shit like that to a woman. I take a deep breath and go in for the kill. “I also want the baby to have my last name.”
Her eyes fly to mine, wide with surprise, then fill with tears. Oh shit.
“You do?” Her voice cracks, and she watches me, like she’s expecting me to take it back.
“Absolutely. No kid of mine is gonna walk this Earth without my name,” I tell her adamantly.
“Who are you?” she asks, bewildered.
“Tell you the truth, I have no fucking clue. I’m scaring myself a little.” We both burst into laughter, the heavy moment instantly lightening.
“Can we be done with all this adulting now? I’m exhausted,” she admits, flopping back against the soft cushions, looking sleepy.
“You want to crash here? You can sleep with me in my big king-size bed. I’ll even rub your…back,” I finish with a waggle of my eyebrows.
“Not gonna happen, Dagger.”
“Can’t blame a guy for trying.”
Eight
Stella
After waiting a damn eternity for the elevator, I say screw it and head for the stairs. The exercise will be good for me and the baby. At least, that’s what I tell myself before starting the trek up the eleventy-million stairs. Last time I took them, I wasn’t nearly as pregnant, and going down is a whole lot easier than going up. Finally reaching the top, I head toward Jason’s place, pretending like I’m not winded. Then, when I’m unable to lie about that, I convince myself the only reason I’m winded is because of the stairs and nothing to do with seeing him again. We weren’t supposed to see each other until tomorrow, but I left my book here last night and I need it for my paper.
I knock on the door and will my breathing and heart rate to get their shit together. I’m just about to knock again when the door flies open and a beautiful, and surprised, woman stands there, gaping at me. Shit. Didn’t take him long, did it? Ignoring the crushing feeling I have no right to feel, I stand a little straighter, determined not to let her see how much this just hurt me. With a fake smile, I push on. “Sorry to bother you, is Jason here?”
The woman’s mouth opens and closes three times—I know because I counted—before she says, “Yes. Yeah. He’s in the shower, though.” She pauses, looking me over from head to toe before continuing, “Do you want to come in?”
Her tone is dripping with uncertainty and curiosity. Clearly, she has a close relationship with him if she’s answering his door and he’s in the shower. Plus, it’s not even noon yet. Did she spend the night? Come just after I left? That hurts even more after the talk we had.
“I just need to grab a book I left here last night.”
“Last night? You were here last night?” the woman asks, confused and even more curious than before.
Before I can answer, I hear Jason from somewhere inside the apartment. “Joey, I love you and all, but—Stella?”
I can see him over her shoulder, standing in the middle of his living room, a towel knotted low on his hips, as water drops onto his shoulders and chest from his mop of wet hair. The sun from the floor-to-ceiling windows cast him in a god-like glow. Why does he have to be so damn hot?
Jason moves forward so he’s standing directly behind the woman he called Joey now, looking at me with concern. “Is everything okay? The baby?”
I nod, not able to talk past the lump in my throat when Joey barks out a laugh.
“Ooooohhh, you’re in so much trouble. I’m telling Ma,” she sing-songs gleefully.
“Shut up, brat. Let Stella in. Cruz, this is my sister, Joey. Joey, this is Stella Cruz, my—” He stalls, not sure what to say, when Joey pipes in.
“Your baby mama?” She’s practically bouncing on her toes, she’s so excited. I’m not sure if it’s at the prospect of being an aunt or getting Jason in trouble. I’m too embarrassed by my reaction to her being there to look too closely, but I’m guessing it’s more to do with ratting him out.
Jason shoves her gently out of the way. “Come in, Stell. Ignore my little sister. She’s a pain in the ass,” he says good-naturedly.
“Hey! I am not! Okay, I kind of am.” Joey laughs. “Nice to meet you, Stella,” she says, still eyeballing me and my wicked pregnant state.
“Hi.” I wave awkwardly. “I’m sorry to just show up, I just need my book. I must have left it last night, and I have to try to work on this paper before I go to work.”
“Come in. And you can show up here whenever, Stella.” I give him a look that screams “Are you fucking kidding me?” that he catches, and he has the decency to look remorseful. “Yeah, not my best moment, okay?”
“No. No, it wasn’t.” I’m not sure I’ll let him live that one down anytime soon. Or ever.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be nosy—”
“Yes, you do,” Jason cuts in.
She sticks her tongue out at him, reminding me so much of myself and Carlo.
“Anyway, as I was saying, I don’t mean to be nosy, but how old are you, and are you pregnant with my brother’s baby?”
Right to the point. Got it.
As I open my mouth to answer, Jason
interjects, “She’s old enough, and you’ll hear all about it after Mom does. Speaking of which, I was just going to call you. I told my ma we would come for lunch.”
“You what? Your mom? Why?” I stammer.
“Well, because I told her I had someone she had to meet, and since I’m only here for a couple days…” I’m aware of Joey watching this whole thing go down, like a spectator at a tennis match.
“I can’t, I have to work.”
“Call in.”
“Can’t do that. I won’t be able to work for much longer.”
“I will pay you what you would have made,” he says, a little exasperated.
“Don’t do that. Don’t throw your money at me like that. Remember, this isn’t Pretty Woman. I don’t need a pimp or a sugar daddy or whatever,” I tell him, pissed he would even suggest that.
“I was going for knight in shining armor, but pimp works,” Jason says, grinning from ear to ear. “Take the night off. Please. I promise you, you will not miss the money. My lawyer—” I raise my hand to stop him, not willing to discuss this in front of his sister.
“Okay, okay.” He lifts his palms in surrender. “But seriously.”
He gives me the puppy dog eyes and I can’t deny him. How could anyone say no to those baby blues? God, I hope the baby doesn’t have those eyes. He or she will be spoiled rotten if they do.
“Fine. I’ll go.”
“Oh, this is gonna be good,” Joey murmurs.
An hour later, I’m walking into Jason’s parents’ house in Cambridge, palms sweating, legs a little unsteady, as he takes my jacket from my shoulders. He leans down to me and whispers in my ear, “Don’t worry, Stella. They’re going to love you and be excited about this baby. Just as excited as I am.”
He presses a kiss to my temple that I want to lean into. Wonder about. Ask him what it means. I want to know if he’s really excited about the baby, and why in the hell he believes me. But there’s no time. A woman in her mid-fifties comes into the hallway, wearing a Chicago hockey shirt and a pair of black leggings.
