With his cheek pressed against hers, he continued, “Before I even knew how to find you, things were bad with CJ and had been toxic for a very long time. The minute I found you, and found out what she had done to you, to us… well, being in the same room with her became unbearable. And then I came here, and you and I have this amazing relationship, and I’m happy and I now know what a great relationship is like, how it’s supposed to feel. That actually made being out there with her 100,000 times worse. And I also realized something while I was out there, what you and I share now is an adult relationship, and I’ve never really been involved in an adult relationship. But now I know the difference, Mia. I know what it’s supposed to be like. I finally know what being in a loving relationship with someone you love deeply is all about. And I couldn’t help but to keep comparing ‘us’ to what it was like to be around her and to what I had shared with her. And it made me miss you more every second of every day. CJ and I formed some very unhealthy patterns as teens and that is how we interact and react to one another. It’s not pleasant and it’s not healthy. Does that make sense?”
When she didn’t answer, he whispered, “Hey, look at me.”
She didn’t turn her head and he reached for her chin.
“Don’t cry, Baby Girl, please don’t cry,” his eyes locked intently upon hers. “This should be the happiest time of our lives. I hate that there is even a single second that we are not sharing this together. I hate it, Mia. And I’m more sorry than you can imagine for everything I didn’t do right here. And I didn’t do a lot right. I know that. But you and the kids, all three of them, will always be my top priority to care for, provide for and protect. That is just me. That is who I am - for better or for worse, and I promise I will listen when you tell me you need me. I will be here. I will listen. I promise, Mia. And I will try and understand that you and I might not be perceiving things in exactly the same way. Please believe me.”
“You told me you didn’t know when you were coming back, Schooner. I was pregnant with our son and you told me you didn’t know when you were coming back to me.” Her eyes conveyed the deep wound of their last phone conversation.
“I just kept thinking, a few more days and I can fix this. Just a few more days, that’s all I need. And I thought you and I still had about six weeks. Or I guess I was just hoping that, because it would buy me the time I needed to feel like I was leaving him in a better place, and getting home to you with plenty of time to spare.” He paused and let out a deep sigh, “I am so sorry I was such an ass to you that night. I’m sorry I didn’t call you right back when you hung up on me. You deserved an apology.”
“I can’t do this, Schooner.” Mia put her hands on Schooner’s arms, the first time she had touched him in nearly a month. “I can’t sit back and do nothing while I watch you being manipulated. CJ is the master of knowing how to manipulate you. She’s been doing it all our lives. If she needs to do it through the kids, because that is the only way she can still get to you, she will. I just can’t have you floating in and out of Nathaniel’s and my life every time she pushes one of your buttons. I can’t do it and I won’t do it.”
“And you won’t need to do it. Will I do everything in my power to keep my three kids safe and healthy? The answer to that is yes. You’re a mom now, so you get it. You would lay down your life for that little boy. You’d leave me, if you had to, to protect him. But you’re never going to need to do that. I’m never going to float out of Nathaniel’s life and I’m never going to float out of your life. I am in this for the long haul, Mia, and if there’s one thing that you should know about me, it’s that I take the responsibility of fatherhood very, very seriously. I was not a sperm donor here. That little boy is my son, and I will raise him and teach him and love him and be there for him. Always. And I’m never going to love anyone else but you, Mia. I didn’t find you again to lose you. You can be damn sure of that. So, we need to work through this, because I am not letting you go. That is not an option, Baby Girl, and running is not an option. We need to work this out.”
Mia closed her eyes as the tension from her body dissipated, collapsing against Schooner as if she were a deflated balloon.
“I thought you were already gone.” Hot tears streaming down her cheeks fell onto his arms.
Burying his face in Mia’s neck, Schooner finally let his own tears flow. “Never, Baby Girl. Never.”
Chapter Seven
“Have you even left the hospital for a meal?” They had just fed Nathaniel again and stood at his crib in the NICU watching him sleep. He’d already gained close to two ounces, pleasing both the doctors and his parents.
Mia shook her head no, “Just the cafeteria.”
“How about if I call your parents, Kami and Seth, and Charles and Gaby and see if everyone wants to meet for dinner? If you’re up to it, we’re just a short walk from Le Parisien or the Cask Bar + Kitchen.”
“Filet Mignon Carpaccio. You are good,” she looked up at him.
Pulling her close to him and kissing the top of her head, he laughed, “Yeah, I know the way to your heart. Le Parisien, it is then.” Wrapping her tighter in his arms, he whispered into her hair, “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you.”
Returning to her cubby hole of a room, Mia asked, “What are you doing this afternoon?”
“After I call everyone and make dinner reservations, I was kind of thinking I’d love to curl up next to you in that uncomfortable looking little bed. If that’s ok with you?”
Mia nodded. Speaking would have invited tears and she was fighting very hard to control her way-over-the-top emotions.
He spooned up behind her on the bed and pulled her snugly against his body.
She heard the “mmm” come from deep in his throat and was glad he couldn’t see her face.
“I haven’t even asked you how you’re healing? Does it hurt a lot?”
Mia nodded, “Yeah, but it was worth it.”
“I could look at him all day.” Schooner kissed her neck.
Rolling over to face him, Mia smiled, “Me too. I just look at him and I can’t believe he’s my baby. He’s our baby. We have a baby together, Schooner. How mind blowing is that?”
Brushing her hair from her face, he took a moment just to reflect on her words. “We have a baby together, Mia,” and he pulled her tightly against his chest. “It’s incredibly mind blowing and it’s a gift. A gift that a year ago wasn’t even a part of my wildest dreams. I never thought I’d see you again, speak to you again, hold you again. And now you are the mother of my child. How’s that for dreams coming true.”
“Schooner,” she pulled her face away from his chest, “I love you.”
His clear eyes immediately became moist. “That’s a good thing,” he whispered, “because you are my world, Mia.”
Reaching up, Mia traced Schooner’s face with her fingertips as if committing every line and every plane to memory. “I have loved you my whole life, Schooner. Promise me her words are not true.”
Searching her eyes, he asked, “What words, Mia?”
“That you’ll always go back to her. That you always have and you always will.”
Taking her face in both his hands, “Boy, did she do a number on you. It’s time for an exorcism, Baby Girl. We need to bury that ghost, because it doesn’t deserve a place in our lives. I love you. I have always loved you. I have never stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you. You are the love of my life, you always have been, you always will be. So, don’t let her get into your head, Mia. She has no power over me. Her desperate acts will yield nothing. She’s been threatened by you her entire life. She’s lived with the knowledge that she could never hold the place in my heart that has always been reserved for you alone. You. Only you. Always. I am yours for the rest of my life, Baby Girl.”
“So I’m stuck with you?” she deadpanned.
“Bitch,” he threw his head back with laughter. “Now, that is my Mia.”
And for the first time in way to
o long, Schooner watched the devil grin take over Mia’s face.
“I’ve missed that smile,” he brought his lips close to hers, “I’ve missed these lips.” Softly, he brushed his lips against hers.
“Welcome home, Pretty Boy,” and with fingers twined through his thick hair, Mia pulled him in for a deep, consuming, incredibly long overdue kiss.
Chapter Eight
Five tables for two were pushed together in the small French bistro. Lois and Seth sat next to each other on the banquette side of the table against the wall, giving them a clear view of who entered the restaurant. Schooner had invited them all out to dinner and said the reservation would be under his name.
“He was very cryptic,” Lois spoke to Seth in barely over a whisper.
“Yes, same with me. I hope this is not bad news. Have you seen Mia today?” Seth looked stressed.
“No, Bob and I met up with some old friends today. She didn’t answer her cell this afternoon.”
“I called her, too. No answer. I hope Nathaniel is alright.” Seth’s eyes were wide as he started to work himself into a tizzy.
Lois put a well-manicured hand on his arm, “No, we would have heard if there was a problem with the baby.”
The door to the restaurant opened and Lois dug her nails into Seth’s arm. Schooner and Mia walked in together. He opened the door for her and his hand was at her lower back as they approached the table.
“Hi everyone,” Mia smiled as if it were just another normal night out with her loved ones.
“Please tell me I’m not dreaming,” Seth whispered under his breath to Lois.
Schooner pulled out a chair for Mia to sit, and she looked up at him with a smile, as she sat down gingerly, still stiff from the surgery. Sitting next to her, he moved his chair close and his left arm went around the back of Mia’s chair. He winked at Lois.
“Sorry we’re late, we stopped off at the nursery and just lost track of time,” Mia apologized. “He is so cute. I swear he gets more beautiful every day. The neo-natal doctor was in there and we had the chance to talk to him. He thinks we’ll be able to take him home in about two weeks if he keeps gaining weight at the rate he’s been going and no other complications arise. His breathing has been solid. No signs of apnea. He’s just doing great.”
“That is excellent news. Do you feel up to doing some clothes shopping for him tomorrow?” Lois wanted to get her daughter alone and find out what the hell was going on. Just yesterday she wasn’t speaking to Schooner and tonight they’d entered Le Parisien as a couple looking happier than clams.
“I’m coming with you,” Seth announced. He too wanted every detail of this sudden, yet overdue, reconciliation as well as to ensure that Nathaniel was appropriately dressed as a ‘City Kid’.
Schooner flagged down a waiter and whispered something in his ear. He quickly returned with two bottles of champagne and glasses for everyone. Uncorking the first bottle and pouring enough for a toast into everyone’s glass, he receded from the table with the same haste, leaving the other bottle chilling in a silver bucket next to Schooner.
Holding up his glass, Schooner began his toast. “This toast is to my son, Nathaniel. He entered this world with a surprise appearance and I think that is the first of many surprises we can expect from him. His second surprise, and a wonderful one it was, is that he was blessed with good health. May he continue to grow healthy and strong and know a life where he is surrounded by love. Everyone at this table is, and will be, such an important part of his world, and he will grow up knowing that he is loved and supported. Thank you to all of you for being a part of his world and my world. You have all become my family this year and I’ve been so lucky to be embraced by you and accepted into your world. Seth and Kami, thank you for everything you do for Mia every single day. I am in awe of your friendship and sometimes a little jealous,” Schooner chuckled along with everyone, “and the words thank you don’t do justice to my sentiments for taking care of Mia and helping her while I was gone. Gaby and Charles, from the first night you had me over your house, you made me feel like I’d been part of the gang for a million years. Although we’ve been friends for less than a year, I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.”
Schooner turned to face Lois and Bob, “Brewster Hall. It was divine providence that you and my parents met in that orientation session, started to talk and hit it off. Of all the parents of students in the freshman class, it was a pretty random thing that the four of you would meet, but that meeting changed my life. Lois, I think it was love at first sight for the two of us.”
Smiling at him, she nodded.
“You and I just had an instant connection. You knocked me off my feet, right from the start. And then your daughter came bounding up the walkway and I should have known, in that moment, that she would turn my world upside down. Even at sixteen, she was a crazy vortex of energy. What I didn’t immediately realize was that I would get sucked into that vortex and never want to get out. Bob, I made a promise to you and my dad that I would look out for Mia. I knew, as I was making that vow, that it would not be an easy task, that looking out for Mia would be like flying into the eye of a category four hurricane. My assessment was correct. And as much as I have tried to look out for her, I’ve probably had as much failure as I have had success. But I promise you, I’ll continue to try to take care of your little girl. At least as much as she’ll let me.”
Schooner turned to Mia, who looked up at him, eyes shining as if the tears were ready to flow, “You,” he shook his head, “You. It’s always been you. It will always be you. Always. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for letting me love you. Thank you for giving me the gift of that precious little boy. There is no need to ever question my love for you. You will have it always. That is something I can easily promise. I love you and I don’t ever want to be without you. Not ever again.”
Leaning toward her, Schooner gave Mia a brief, sweet kiss on the lips. With his hand on her cheek, his gaze clearly mirrored the words he had just spoken. When he looked away, the rest of the table was wiping their tears, even Charles and Bob.
Schooner lifted his glass again, “To Nathaniel.”
“To Nathaniel,” was the resounding chorus from the table.
Reaching for Schooner’s hand under the table, Mia realized that he was right when he told her that they needed to exorcise CJ’s ghost and the specter of destruction that she had cast upon Mia. Schooner Moore loved her as much as she loved him. Watching him tell his infant son of his dreams of all they would share was confirmation of his dedication to ensuring their son grew up loved and with a strong, present and committed father figure.
Learning how to fight, cope, share victory, tragedy, hope and disappointment was something they were going to need to learn to do together, without running or retreating. Schooner had made it clear that he had no plans to let her go. Ever. And for the first time since the phone call that had summoned him back to California without her, Mia felt that they had made it through a dark tunnel and were back in the light again. Together. And maybe even stronger than before. He was hers and she finally believed in them.
Chapter Nine
Sitting in the backseat of the Range Rover next to Nathaniel’s brand new car seat, Mia was thrilled to finally be leaving the hospital.
“Yes, you are going home, Little Man. All these new sounds you’re hearing, I bet they sound funny to you, huh?” Rearranging his blanket to ensure he stayed warm in the early winter chill, “Are you warm enough?” she asked her infant son, who was bundled up like a snowman in his snowsuit. “Uncle Seth’s snowsuit is nice and snuggly, isn’t it.”
Looking up, she peered out the window. Feeling slightly disoriented, at first, after a month of living at the hospital, she finally got her bearings and something wasn’t adding up. “Schooner, why are we still on Second Avenue? We’re heading into the Lower East Side.”
“Yeah,” he stayed focused on the road in front of him. Cabs cutting in on all sides.
“But we should have turned. Second Avenue is about to turn into Chrystie Street.”
“Yeah, I’m aware of that. Do you think it’s too soon to introduce Nathaniel to E Street Radio?” he changed the subject.
“Where are we going?” Mia’s sixth sense was kicking into gear. Something was not right.
“Home. Oh excellent, they’re already playing Bruce’s version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Nathaniel, this is The Boss.” Schooner made a right turn onto Broome Street and started to head into Little Italy. “We’ve never eaten in Little Italy,” he commented. “Why is that?”
“Because there are better Italian restaurants elsewhere in the city.” They were approaching SoHo, “Schooner, where are we going? Are we picking something up?”
Making a left onto Mercer Street, he finally replied, “No, we’re dropping something off.”
“What are we dropping off?” Mia was perplexed.
Stopping in front of a white building with a Corinthian columned entrance, he turned around and hit her with his All-American boy smile, “You. You and Nathaniel,” and he got out of the car.
Coming around to her side, Schooner opened the door and helped Mia out. Reaching across the seat, he unlatched the car seat from its base and lifted it out of the car.
“I don’t understand,” Mia searched his face.
Leading her into the building’s lobby and over to the elevator, he smiled and said, “You don’t need to.”
They entered an old lift and Schooner inserted a key into a slot and the elevator started to ascend. With a shit-eating grin on his face, he leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Showtime.”
The elevator door opened to a sun-drenched loft. Schooner could tell that Mia was still not processing what was happening. “Welcome home, Baby Girl.” He stepped out of the elevator and onto the loft’s gleaming hardwood floors.
Moore than Forever Page 3
