by Lili Zander
10
Harper
Harper:
The labor has started. The pains aren’t too bad. Then Sofia stands with a silent bundle. She shows it to me, and I recoil in horror at the misshapen body, the horns, the scales...
“Harper?” Vulrux’s voice finds me in the dark.
Dennox rolls over and wraps his arms around me. “What’s happened?”
I’m shaking. That dream had been so vivid. Too vivid. “I can’t,” I gasp and sob. “I can’t do this anymore.”
A light comes on. Vulrux sits next to me, shadows falling on the somber lines of his face. “You cried out in your sleep.”
“I had a bad dream.”
“Tell us what’s troubling you, diya. You’ve been ill-at-ease for some time now, but you won’t talk about it. We’re your mates, Harper. Let us help you.”
“I’m so scared,” I whisper, finally saying it out loud to my mates. “What if our child is a monster? What if she doesn’t survive? What if I don’t love her?” Even thinking that last terrible thought makes me whimper. I’m the monster. Not my child.
Vulrux takes my hand. “There is no sign that the pregnancy is anything but healthy.”
“How do you know? I’m the first woman to ever go through this. How can you be so damn sure?” I almost scream.
Vulrux stays calm. “You’re right,” he admits. “It is different. Different and the same. So far, your pregnancy seems to be following the Zorahn pattern. Sofia and I have spoken of it often.”
I feel a flash of jealousy that even I know is completely ridiculous. Sofia and Vulrux might have medicine in common, but Vulrux is my mate, and Sofia is my friend, and I trust both of them completely. This is pregnancy brain. “I’m sorry. I know I’m being absolutely crazy.”
“It’s all right, sweet one,” Dennox murmurs.
I twist my fingers in my lap. “I can’t keep myself from freaking out. I hate myself for thinking this way about her.” I rest my hand on my belly. “You must think I’m a terrible person.”
Dennox makes a scoffing sound in his throat. “You’re doing something nobody has ever done before, diya,” he says. “I would be far more concerned if you didn’t have any fears.”
“But you cannot hold onto this worry, Harper,” Vulrux says, his voice threaded with concern. “You are healthy. The child is healthy. You have had no pains. The heartbeat is strong. There are many things that might still go wrong, but I am grateful for the gifts we have.”
I keep my eyes closed. “What are the odds that this will all turn out okay?”
“What are the odds that you survive a crash on this planet? That we find each other? That you are our beautiful, strong, loving mate?” Vulrux’s rests his palm on my cheek, willing me to look at him. “One in a million? Two?”
“You’re not the only one who worries,” Dennox confesses. “I could not protect my first mate, that poor woman in the scientists’ lab. What if I fail our daughter?”
I grip his hand in mine. Dennox was a soldier before exile, mind-wiped after every battle. The deaths haunt him. “You’re the strongest person I know. You can never fail her.”
Vulrux takes a deep breath. “I worry I might not be a good father,” he confesses, his voice low. “I’m a Highborn of Zoraht. What do I know about being a parent?” He grimaces. “I might be worse than useless.”
“Are you crazy?” I’m jolted out my own misery. “You’ve been the healer to this set of Exiles for sixty years. You didn’t have a med-kit. You had to figure out all the medicinal plants in this world. Develop your own ointments and medicine. You nursed both Beirax and Raiht’vi back to health after they almost died in the crash.” I gaze at Vulrux with an incredulous expression on my face. “You’ve cared for all of us. And let’s be honest, it’s not been easy caring for me. The baby will probably be half the trouble I’ve been.”
I’m crying again, this time in sheer relief. I’m not the only one having stupid, illogical fears. My mates have been afraid too. I should have just talked to them weeks ago and spared myself the angst.
“Please, sweet one, don’t cry,” Dennox says, sounding helpless.
“No, I’m happy.” I take a deep breath. “I’m so glad you’re going to be dads. There is no one who deserves it more.” I put my hand on his bare chest. The taut muscle and firm skin warms me through.
Just like that the hormone roller coaster starts again. Three states, I kid you not. Weepy. Horny. Hungry. I reach for both my mates. “I need you.”
The guys exchange glances. “Harper—”
“I need you,” I repeat. “I need to feel close to you, please. I know you’ll be gentle.”
“Ah, sweet one,” Dennox sighs. “We cannot say no to you.”
“Thank you,” I sniffle. “I know I’m a pain in the ass.”
“You are never that,” Vulrux says, folding me in his arms. “Come. We have a gift for you. We were going to show you in the morning, but since we’re all awake now…”
Out in the living room, there’s a strappy contraption hanging from the ceiling. “What’s this?” I ask as Vulrux brings me to it. I tug on one of the thick ropes. “When did you even do this? Where was I?”
“Napping,” Dennox responds with a grin. “We wanted to find a way for you to be off your feet. Be comfortable.”
“Okay,” I say slowly.
Dennox arranges the straps and holds them in such a way it looks like a chair made of knotted rope—like a hammock.
“Oh, I get it.” They’ve rigged a swing. Clever, clever mates.
“You want to try it?”
My brain is throwing up one dirty fantasy after another. Bad Harper. “Absolutely.”
The guys help me into it and fiddle with the contraption until I’m secure, swinging in the makeshift seat with my legs supported by their own straps. “This is fun,” I say, pushing against Dennox. I swing away and back again, giggling a little.
“We thought you’d enjoy it.” Vulrux moves closer, right between my legs. He pulls a rope and draws my knees apart, and pulls me flush against him. “See what I mean?”
“I do,” I purr, hooking a leg around his waist. The ropes are more like straps, a little flat, and there are so many of them, they suspend me easily without cutting into my flesh. I give him an arched look. “Now what?”
“Now we do what we want with you.” He leans down, winding his hands through the straps to cup my bottom, bending his head to claim my mouth. We tangle together like that until I’m rocking against him, eager for more sensation.
“You can lie back, too, if you want.” Dennox smiles proudly as he shows off the swing. He makes another adjustment to the straps, and I’m leaning back, suspended horizontally over the floor. When I turn towards Dennox, my mouth is just at groin height.
“Are you sure this will hold up if things get… vigorous?” I glance at the hooks in the ceiling.
“I tested it thoroughly,” Dennox assures me. “It can hold my weight and more.”
It’s bound to be perfectly safe then. Dennox is pretty damn protective, and he’d never do anything to endanger our baby. Neither would Vulrux. “But if you’re uncomfortable,” he adds, “We don’t have to do this.”
I’m uncomfortable all right, or I will be if I don’t get Vulrux’s cock inside me soon. “I like this,” I say, my voice husky with desire. “It’s a really good gift.”
I reach for Dennox’s thick cock. My hands grip his hips, and I draw him into my mouth. Vulrux fists his own hard length between my legs, and just as I’m sucking on Dennox’s broad head, my light-haired mate enters me.
I hum happily around Dennox’s cock. My mates swing me between them, filling my mouth and my aching pussy to perfection. Things do get… vigorous… toward the end, but the swing holds up just fine, and after a short rest, I make the guys switch places so we can do it all over again.
The sun comes up. I wake up in my mates’ arms, my heart bursting with love for them. They’d do anything for me and for my little
one. A few more tears escape, but they’re happy ones.
“I can’t believe you guys were worried that you wouldn’t be good fathers,” I say softly.
“Look at where we are,” Vulrux says. He doesn’t sound bitter, but I know what he lost. Back in his old life, he was royalty. Now, we’re holed up inside a mountain while soldiers roam on the outside.
“We’ll get through this.” I’m reminded of how my friends comforted me. Olivia’s right. “Look at everything you’ve built. You’ve made a home here.”
It doesn’t matter if we live in a palace, or back in my dodgy apartment in Los Angeles, or in a tent somewhere. All that matters is that we have each other. “Whatever happens, we will face it together.”
“Yes,” Vulrux and Dennox agree quietly. “Together.”
Now I’m crying again. And I’m hungry. Bring on the French fries.
11
Raiht’vi
The truth is, taking the pill and ending everything is the most selfish thing I can do right now. It won’t change a damn thing. The Empire won’t know I’m dead. The Zoraken will still land on the prison planet. The Draekons will still be at risk.
I can’t take the easy way out. Not if I want to make amends for my past actions.
I think back to a conversation I had before I’d left for Earth.
I haven’t seen my old teacher, Vasht’vi in many years. She’d retired almost immediately after the incident with the Draekons, and she’d moved to Giflan.
“Scientist,” I bow immediately. This woman taught me everything I know. “It is an honor to see you.”
Her reply is harsh. “I wish I could say the same, Raiht’vi.”
I suck in a breath at the insult. I thought she liked me. “Have I offended you in any way, Scientist?”
“You were the most promising student I’d ever had the privilege of teaching,” she replies. “You weren’t greedy for glory and power in those days. How you’ve changed, child.”
Child. I’m seventy-five. I am one of the white-clad. I am Brunox’s daughter and Lenox’ bondmate-to-be. Nobody has called me 'child’ for a very long time.
It’s the impatient affection in her tone that causes me to bite back my sharp retort. “Did you come here to berate me, Scientist?” I ask mildly.
“No.” Her voice is quiet. “I’m here because that girl I taught once deserves better.” She heaves a deep breath. “My son will fail the testing next year.”
I sit up, my stomach churning. “He’s Draekon? How can you tell?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know, Raiht’vi. We all know that there are black market tests to be had for a few coins.”
I’ve heard rumors.
“There’s a home for him in the Rebellion.”
My skin goes cold. “It is treason to mention the Rebellion.”
“Is that a threat, child?” she replies calmly. “I have lived my life. I am prepared to die.”
I don’t reply. If I call the guards, she will be executed on my word, but I can’t do that.
My silence is noted. Her expression softens. “When I heard about your betrothal,” she says. “I was in shock. I couldn’t believe that someone like you, someone who is devoted to her work, would choose to change the course of her life so dramatically. There are millions of women who will do anything to be bonded to the High Emperor, but I don’t think you’re one of them.”
“Why are you here, Scientist?” I whisper.
She hands me a slip of paper. “If you ever want out,” she says. “You only have to ask. Pick the right side, Raiht’vi. You know that what’s being done in the Crimson Citadel is indefensible. Join us.”
“What is this?”
“A way to get in touch with Commander Tarish.”
I suck in a breath. Tarish is the head of the Rebellion. The bounty on his head is astronomically high. If my father or my bond-mate-to-be were to ever find out… “Are you crazy?”
She gets to her feet, unconcerned at the bombshell she’s dropped. “I prefer to use the word ‘hopeful.’”
I’d burned the note, of course. But the number is seared into my brain.
I’m so lost in thought that I almost pass the wreckage without seeing it, but the smell of the decomposing body is hard to miss.
A wrecked spaceship. Two dead Zoraken. They’ve been dead for a few days. I can barely look in their direction. The predators that prowl this part of the world appear to have gnawed at their flesh.
My stomach heaves when I find a severed arm. Caeron, no. Nobody deserves this.
More lives lost because of me.
I want to run away from here, but the emptiness in my belly forces me to stay. This ship would have had a food syn—the Zoraken would have come prepared for an extended stay as they searched for me. Where is it?
The sun is high in the sky, burning my skin. I trod on a piece of metal by accident, and its heat almost sears my foot through my worn-out shoes.
The wreckage is scattered all around me. The syn could be anywhere.
It would be so easy to give up.
I force myself to walk in ever-increasing circles around the bodies, looking for any sign of life-saving tech. Finally, after more than an hour of searching, I find the food syn, and something even more vital.
A working communicator.
I only have to close my eyes to remember Tarish’s contact information.
Pick the right side, Raiht’vi.
If I do this, there’s no going back. I’m not a naive fool. Tarish’s protection comes at a cost. I’ll have to offer him all of Brunox’s sordid little secrets. Every lab that my father has hidden throughout the Empire and beyond.
You know that what’s being done in the Crimson Citadel is indefensible.
I stare at the communicator. If Tarish comes for me, then once I’m off the prison planet, I can reveal that I’m part of the rebellion. That’ll take the heat off Arax, Vulrux, and the others.
And if my message gets intercepted by the Zoraken and an Empire ship reaches me first, then I will kill myself in front of an audience, and they’ll leave.
Join us.
Before I can change my mind, I turn on the communicator and type out a quick message to Commander Tarish. The most dangerous man in the High Empire. I’m on the prison planet, and I’m ready to talk. Can you get me out of here?
12
Harper
It’s the middle of the night, and I can’t get comfortable. My stomach bulges out so much that even sleeping on my side doesn’t feel quite right, but my back aches when I lie flat. I really better not have nine months of this.
I almost drift off to sleep a few times, but then something twitches and I wake right up again. So I just lie there, listen to my mates’ breathing. They sleep on either side of me, except the few times I got too hot and wanted to move to the couch. Then they wouldn’t let me, of course—Dennox took the couch while Vulrux slept close, propped upright on a chair.
They’re such great guys. How did I get so lucky?
I shift slowly, trying not to wake them up. Every time I settle, something twinges...
That’s when I realize I’ve been cramping on and off for the past few hours.
“Um, guys?” I touch Vulrux, and he immediately comes awake. “I feel… I think something’s happening.”
He lays a hand on my stomach, which twitches under his large palm. “Feel that?” I ask him.
“Yes,” he murmurs.
A second later Dennox sits up. “What is it?”
“Contractions.” Vulrux’s voice is calm, and I’m flooded with gratitude that he’s a healer. I’m planning on losing my shit, and I’m counting on Vulrux to keep it together like he always does.
“Harper?” Dennox eases an arm around me as Vulrux rises to gets Dariux’s med-kit. “It’s not an X-ray, is it?” I ask, sitting up in alarm. “X-rays are bad.”
“Relax, diya,” Vulrux says soothingly. “The med-kit is perfectly safe.”
I take a deep
breath and lean into my huge mate. Vulrux listens to the baby’s heartbeat. “It’s strong.”
He hands me the narrow wand. I wrap my fingers around it, and it pulses in my hand, the rhythm strong and steady. “Is that…?” Oh my God, that’s our baby’s heartbeat. I can feel our baby’s heartbeat.
Vulrux holds my belly as the cramps come again, little electric shocks along my sides. “Things could be starting, or it could be false labor,” he says.
“False labor?” Dennox asks.
“The womb preparing for real labor.” Vulrux sets the med-kit aside. “Do you feel all right? Do you need anything?”
“I’ll get water,” Dennox says, jumping up. I smile at his back. He’s so big and capable, and he looks like he’s going to flip out. Dennox is not used to feeling helpless.
“If the contractions get stronger and closer together, let me know. We might have a while to wait. Do you want me to get Sofia?”
“No, don’t wake her. Who knows how long this is going to take.”
Vulrux dims the light to its lowest setting. “We’ll stay up with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.” He fusses around me until I assure him I’m comfortable. This is the first pregnancy for all of us, and we’re all a little anxious.
Dennox returns with my water. I drain the glass and settle back under the covers. The three of us lie in a row, Vulrux gently stroking my hair.
We lie awake for what feels like hours. The little cramps continue, not growing stronger, but not fading away. “What time is it?” I ask.
“Almost sunrise.”
I sit up. Dennox anticipates what I want to do. He slides off the bed and lifts me, carrying me to the front room. We watch the day dawn and the sky slowly lighten, and I think, This is it. This could be my daughter’s birthday.
Vulrux, who’d dozed off, gets to his feet and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. “How are you feeling?” he asks me.
“I’m still alright.” The contractions are little stronger, but not much. “I feel like I should do something.”
