by Kelly Favor
Greg mostly avoided her at work now, which was something of a relief. Occasionally she’d come out of the women’s room or turn a corner and see him darting in the opposite direction, acting as though he hadn’t noticed her, even though it was clear he had.
On those occasions she tended to smile, enjoying it even though she hated knowing why he was now afraid of her. But if Club Alpha had bothered or contacted Greg again, he wasn’t telling her about it.
By the time Friday rolled around, Faith was ready to be done with work and to not see the inside of the office for a while.
But when she returned home to her dingy, lonely apartment and realized that she had no plans and nothing to do all weekend except to try and avoid watching ESPN and listening to the sports radio shows she was dying to hear—Faith’s mood took an abrupt nosedive.
She sat down on the couch and started to cry. The sobs were faint, whiny, without the power that her tears had had days ago.
I think I might be all cried out.
Sniffling, she wiped her nose with a tissue from her purse and sat there, wondering what came next and when this sadness and grief would end.
I really miss him. I miss Chase.
That was the truth, wasn’t it? The truth that she’d been running from as she pursued the boring office job as though she actually wanted to be there, when in reality, nothing could have been further from reality.
And that made her consider the unasked for advice that Chase himself had offered her not long ago. He’d told her that taking the easy road was never worth it in the end. He’d told her that she was taking the easy road by staying at her temp job, and she’d gotten angry with him because she’d known he was right.
Faith hated Chase Winters for manipulating her into the contract with Club Alpha, and for making her want him. But even more, she hated him for the potential she’d seen within him—and the potential she’d honestly felt between them.
I know we could’ve been something, but you ruined it.
She wanted to just text him those words, but reminded herself that it could never happen. Opening herself up to any kind of exchange with Chase was like an alcoholic taking that first sip of vodka.
Speaking of which…her phone buzzed with a text from Haley, one of her closest friends in Newburg, or “The ‘Burg,” as they often referred to it. Some people went so far as to call it “Turdburg” but Faith didn’t go that far, even when she felt disdain for the place she’d been born and raised.
Picking up her cell, she looked at Haley’s text.
We miss u!!! Come out with us tonite Faith! What do I need to do to convince u to spend an hour with me?
It brought a smile to her face as Faith considered the fact that while Newburg was a town she often felt dragged down by, Haley had never been anything other than a good friend to her. And they didn’t see each other very often these days, but Haley had never seemed to hold it against Faith.
Faith answered back quickly.
Where are u going and who is going with u?
Haley responded so fast that Faith almost wondered if she’d even had time to read what Faith wrote, but that was just like Haley. Everything she did was full speed straight ahead and no regrets.
Me and Jena r going to Sports Nation for $2 draft nite
Faith’s stomach fluttered at the suggestion of Sports Nation, which was a sports bar that was popular amongst the Newburg faithful. It wasn’t really a bad place to go and have a few drinks, especially if you were interested in meeting up with a single boy or two.
Faith was nervous for different reasons, however. She knew that if she went to the bar with her two friends, she would be confronted with pictures and images of Chase Winters. He would be on Sports Center highlight clips on the million TV’s around the pub, and on posters hanging on the walls, and perhaps even being discussed by the locals sipping their beers and chatting sports.
And what was worse—Faith knew that she wanted to go there precisely for that reason.
Her resistance was crumbling and within seconds, it was a pile of rubble at her feet, as she texted Haley that she was happy to meet them at Sports Nation later on that evening.
Haley was overjoyed of course, and showed it through liberal texting of emoticons. And a minute or two later, Jena texted a few happy faces and said she couldn’t wait to see Faith and catch up.
That was a little unnerving, however, because Jena loved gossip and was somehow a natural at getting people to talk and spill their guts, even though the entire town knew she couldn’t keep a secret to save her life.
Faith sighed deeply as she got up and went to the bathroom to shower and get ready.
This is good, she told herself. This is fun. You need to spend time with friends and take your mind off Chase Winters.
But Faith also knew that going and spending time with her two close friends at the neighborhood sports bar wasn’t going to completely take her mind off of him. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Face it. You want to think about him, you need to be exposed to him one way or another. And this is just the quickest, easiest way to feed your Chase Winters addiction.
She told herself it wasn’t that simple. Stepping into the shower, as the hot water spilled onto her head and shoulders, she thought about the fact that Haley had been the one to invite her out and suggest that bar.
You could have named a different place and Haley would’ve gone. She didn’t care what bar you went to. But you wanted to go there! You can’t stand being away from him, and you know it.
No. She was going to stay strong, at all costs.
Determined, Faith finished her shower, got out and started readying herself for the night out with her friends.
She decided to really get dressed up, to wear her best outfit and look good. Who knew? Maybe she’d meet a cute guy, somebody normal and nice that wouldn’t try and play with her mind.
As she thought of this faint possibility, Faith’s heart sank.
She knew, even as she tried to tell herself otherwise, that the idea of a nice and normal guy didn’t really stir her emotions anymore.
You don’t want nice. You want bad. You want dark. You want dirty.
You want two words—Chase Winters.
By the time Faith pulled up outside the bar, the entire lot was crowded with cars. She sat in her car and stared at the all-too-familiar building.
Many familiar faces would likely be inside—not just Haley and Jena, but other guys and girls who she’d grown up with. Lots of whom she probably didn’t even like very much.
Yet, at the same time, there was something comforting about being back in Newburg, amidst the familiar, especially after the head-spinning week she’d just experienced.
Faith got out of her car and slowly approached the front entrance, and as the door opened, the sounds of raucous laughter and music spilled outside. She peered in as two people walked past her, arguing about something to do with a babysitter that needed firing.
Inside the bar, she could see plenty of people drinking, talking, and watching the television screens above.
Faith already spotted a familiar face over by one of the pool tables. It was Haley’s brother, Todd, who was a big New England Nationals fan. He usually went to three or four games a season, which was saying a lot, considering he had to beg, borrow and steal to do it.
I wonder what Todd would think if he knew about me and Chase…
Probably he’d just want me to ask if Chase would give him a free ticket or two.
That made her smile, and seemed to give her enough courage to go inside, finally. Once inside, she heard her name being called loudly, over and over again, by a pair of familiar voices, and saw Jena and Haley sitting in a booth down the other end of the room.
They were sitting alone, thankfully, although their table wasn’t very far away from Todd, who was shooting pool with a few of his friends that Faith knew by sight more than by name.
She walked self-consciously, sensing some of the stare
s that accompanied her hips swaying in her tight skirt. Her legs felt cold from the fall air outside, and she aware of just how much skin she was showing off. Not to mention, the plunging neckline of her sweater.
But after a beer or two, the self-consciousness would be gone and she’d be enjoying some laughs with her two friends.
At least, that was the plan.
“Hey hottie,” Jena said, her eyes mischievous and wide as Faith sat down next to Haley, giving her a hug and a quick peck on the cheek.
“Hey,” Faith said, grabbing a plastic cup and the pitcher that was sitting on the table, and immediately pouring herself a full drink.
“Wow, someone’s in a hurry,” Jena laughed. “Are you on a schedule? Is this some kind of beer challenge you signed up for?”
“Just thirsty,” Faith said, as she took her first sip. Already, she’d spotted two large posters featuring Chase Winters by the bar. And a few people hanging out, wearing his jersey with his name in big letters on the back.
“So good to see you,” Haley smiled. “We missed you around here.”
Jena’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah, why’ve you been avoiding us?”
“I haven’t. You know, work’s just been so busy…”
“Don’t let her give you a hard time,” Haley said. “We’re happy for you that you’re in Boston living the high life.”
“Hardly. I’m just a temp. Or—well—I was a temp.”
“You get shit-canned?” Jena asked, using her index finger to smudge the liquid on the table that was left over from the cups of beer.
“Sort of,” Faith said, “but then they hired me back and promoted me.”
“Ooooh, sounds juicy,” Jena said, looking up with that smile that let you know she’d locked her jaws on a tasty morsel of gossip.
“It wasn’t really,” Faith lied, drinking more beer and hoping the damn butterflies in her stomach would subside.
Haley turned to her. “Is that you buzzing?” she said. “Or is it me?”
“What buzzing?” Faith asked.
Haley pulled out her cell phone and looked at it. “Must be yours,” she said.
And then Faith heard it and realized someone had called or texted her a few times. She felt her purse rumbling and opened it, pulling out her cell and quickly checking it to see who had been contacting her.
“What’s wrong?” Haley asked, seeing Faith’s eyes grow wide with shock.
“Huh?” Faith said, looking up as she stuffed her cell back into her purse, as if to banish it from existence.
There had been a missed call and then a text from Chase.
“I’m fine. Everything’s fine,” Faith said aloud.
Jena was watching her. “You don’t look fine. You look cray cray, honey.”
“Don’t be mean, Jena,” Haley said.
“It’s fine,” Faith repeated, and then downed the rest of her drink. “I just…I need to use the ladies room.” She stood up, wobbling for a moment, and then headed towards the restrooms.
She heard Jena laughing behind her, as she went past the pool tables, and suddenly her hand was grabbed by none other than Todd—Haley’s sports loving brother.
“Hey, Faithy!” he yelled. “Long time, baby!”
“Oh, hi, Todd,” she smiled, trying to pull away from him. “I’ll be back in a second.”
He held her wrist firmly with one hand, his other holding the pool stick like a staff as he peered into her eyes. “You drunk or high or what?”
“None. Neither. I’m just tired. Long week.” She laughed, and then finally yanked her arm free.
“We got to catch up, you and me,” Todd said, winking. “You’re getting hotter and hotter every damn time I see you.”
“Please,” she rolled her eyes, backing away.
“Don’t tell Haley I said that, now!” he yelled as she began running towards the restrooms. Her heart was pounding furiously in her chest.
Why didn’t you block Chase’s cell number? You should delete his text now without even reading it.
As she slammed her palm against the door to the bathroom, flinging it open and rushing into a stall, Faith was already digging into her purse to pull her cell phone out once more. She wasn’t going to delete his text without reading it first.
She was slightly buzzed from the beer, and she was so weak. Days had gone by without any contact, and Faith knew that her resolve had finally snapped.
And so she stood inside the grubby stall and read Chase’s text message, her hands shaking with excitement and nervousness.
There were two missed calls and then one brief message from him.
I need to see you.
Faith tried to calm down. She was trying to decide what to write back, and how much to let down her guard.
You can’t let down your guard at all, she thought. This is the time you need to be even more firm, and hold your ground.
Finally, she wrote something back that was equally brief.
You betrayed me, she wrote, and then hit send.
It was the truth, and if it made him angry—if it made him run away—then so be it. Faith wasn’t going to just let this slide, let the whole Club Alpha thing go by the wayside as if it didn’t mean anything.
And then her phone was ringing and she saw that he was calling her already.
“Shit,” she whispered.
Her mind told her not to answer. Make him wait. Get your head together and call him back tomorrow, when you’re sober.
But she couldn’t do it—she couldn’t resist the thought of his voice in her ear, and so without even quite realizing it, Faith answered the phone. “Hi,” she said softly.
“I need to see you,” Chase told her.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because,” she sighed. “I don’t think we’re very good for each other.”
“We’re very good for each other,” he growled. “And you know it.”
Faith hated him for saying that, and for the fact that his words made her heart sing and her stomach dance with happy butterflies. “You’re not an honest person,” she said, despite the desire she had to just give in and tell him that she wanted to meet up right away.
“I know I screwed up,” he said. “But I want a chance to make it right. I’m going to see you tonight, Faith. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Do you really want me to go away and leave you alone?”
There was a long silence as she pondered what to say next. “I don’t think I can forgive you for what you did. I don’t think I could ever trust you.”
“That’s not an answer,” he replied. “Tell me you don’t want to see me right now. That would be a lie, Faith.”
“It doesn’t matter what I want. What matters is that you’re dangerous, and I need to protect myself.”
“I don’t want you protecting yourself,” he said. “I want that job, Faith.”
His words struck her to her very core. She wanted it to be true so badly, and it felt so good to hear him say it, and yet Faith knew it was just another manipulative tactic.
“I can’t do this,” she said, and it physically hurt to say it.
“Why not?” he asked, and now she could hear the emotion in his voice, and the frustration, too. “Why can’t you do it?”
“Because,” she said, “I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror if I let myself be with a guy who was treating me like a prostitute.”
“That’s over with,” Chase told her. “This has got nothing to do with Club Alpha or any of that shit.”
“How can I trust you?”
“Let me prove it to you, Faith. Let me show you that I’m willing to stand up for us—I’m willing to fight for what you mean to me.”
She shook her head. “Just stop it.”
“You know what I said about not taking the easy road?” he continued. “If I care about something, I’ll fight to the death to pr
otect it. And I’ll stand up in front of the world and let them know it, too.”
Suddenly, Faith heard the bathroom door open and then Haley’s voice, calling to her. “Faith, are you in there? Is everything okay?”
“I have to go,” Faith whispered into the phone.
“Wait—“
And then she hung up on him, shutting her eyes tightly as she did so, and feeling the stabbing pain in her stomach and chest as she realized that she might be ending something that truly mattered to her.
Why do I fight so hard for a job I hate and I won’t even fight for a man that I might be falling in love with?
But she refused to think that way. She couldn’t be falling in love with Chase Winters. He was unattainable, he was a star athlete who had seen her as an easy lay, a girl who would keep her mouth shut in exchange for a paycheck.
No. Just no.
“Faith?” Haley called again, her footsteps coming closer to the stall. “Honey, I know you’re in there. I can see your cute little heels.”
“I’m okay,” Faith said, trying to keep her voice light. “I just had to make a quick phone call.”
“In the bathroom stall? What do you, work for the CIA now?” Haley asked.
“Something like that,” Faith replied, opening the door and coming out.
Haley looked at her evenly. “Who is he?” she said.
“Who is who?”
“The guy that made you look so sad.”
“He’s nobody,” she said, thinking that that was the biggest lie yet. He was far from nobody.
Haley seemed to accept Faith’s non-response, which was kind of her. She wasn’t the type to push and pry like Jena.
They left the bathroom together, and as they went past the pool tables, Todd joined them, throwing his arms around both their shoulders. “My two favorite people in the whole wide world,” he said.
“Get off of me—your hands are sticky,” Haley said.
“Bullshit,” Todd told her, now walking with his arm just over Faith’s shoulder. “I been waiting to talk to you all night,” he said to her.
“Todd, she’s only been here a few minutes,” Haley said. “Leave the poor girl alone.”
