“Phoebe, last night—”
“Was great.”
“It was magnificent, however—”
Frowning, Phoebe let go and eased back, a horrible feeling skating over her spine. “However what?” She could feel the blow coming before it struck.
“I think this was a mistake.”
Tension leaped into her and she snatched up the sheet, pulling it with her as she left the bed. “How can you say that?”
“Passion isn’t everything.”
“It’s a damn good start and who says that’s all there is? Don’t you know how I feel about you?”
Please don’t say more, he thought. Please don’t. “It wouldn’t matter.”
“Oh really? Why?”
“I won’t leave Nine Oaks, Phoebe, and I know you’re expecting me to now.”
Angry heat flamed her face. “Don’t tell me what I’m thinking or what I want, and yes, I do want you to leave here, but for your sake, not mine! Good God, you are so dense sometimes.” She threw the sheet around her like a toga. “I want you to come back to the real world, Cain, for you. You’re not happy and you won’t be till you face what’s out there.” She gestured to the balcony. “And making love with you has nothing to do with it. You’ve hidden long enough. I know Lily did something to make you this way, and right now, I hate her for it.”
Cain said nothing.
Phoebe felt it, that door slamming, the emotional shield closing him off from her.
And it hurt.
God, it hurt.
Her heart burned, her eyes seared and she blinked. “Damn you, Cain. It doesn’t need to be like this.”
Her tears destroyed him, each one cutting him to ribbons down to his soul. Cain wanted things to be different, wished to God that he’d followed his heart nine years ago and not his head. But right now, his head was clear. Staring into her teary eyes, he knew—his heart was breaking.
She moved toward the door.
“Phoebe.”
“Go to hell, Cain.” She stepped out the door and shut it behind herself.
I don’t need to go to hell, Cain thought, staring at the empty room. I’m in it.
And he’d made it himself.
Phoebe hurried toward her rooms, covering her mouth, and wanting to scream why! Inside her room, she shut the door and fell back against it. The tears came, hard and mean, and she crumpled to the floor in a heap, and let them fall. She cried for the man Cain once was, for the one she’d glimpsed this week, and last night, for the passion they’d shared and never would share again.
He couldn’t see a future, refused to see anything beyond the walls of Nine Oaks. Drawing him out had changed nothing and Phoebe told herself she had to face the fact that the past few days were merely a vacation from reality.
He’s still in a damn cave, she thought.
Cain heard the chink of china and looked up as Benson deposited the tray on his desk with more force than necessary.
“Will there be anything else, sir?”
Cain frowned at his bitter tone. “No, Benson. Thank you.” Yet Benson didn’t move, staring down at him as if looking down his nose in disgust. “Have you something to say?” Cain asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“And?”
“You’re an ass, sir.”
Cain’s brows shot up.
“You have allowed that witch Lily to ruin your life yet again, and now you are also letting her ruin Miss Phoebe’s.”
“You’ve seen her?” Cain hadn’t seen Phoebe in two days. They’d avoided each other when Cain wanted nothing more than to go to her. But he had nothing to say.
“Yes, I have. At present she is in the gym, sir, beating the stuffing out of a punching bag.”
Cain scowled darkly. “Anything else, Benson, since you seem to be airing your feelings today?”
“Not anything I’d want repeated in civilized company, sir.” Benson spun around and left, shutting the door hard.
Cain threw down his pen and mashed a hand over his face. Great. He left his offices and headed to the gym where, as Benson said, she was going to town on a punching bag.
The instant he drew near, she stopped, met his gaze, then went back to pounding.
“Phoebe.”
“I’d stand clear if I were you.”
“I took advantage of you, and I’m sor—”
She stilled, glaring at him and cut him off with, “If you try to apologize for making love to me, I’m going to break something very expensive. And we took advantage of each other. And you know what?” She walked up to him breathing hard, sweating, and he wondered if he should duck. “I loved it. Every second of it. And I don’t regret it.”
“Neither do I!”
“Then why are you apologizing?” The pain and hurt in her eyes stung him again. He was right in doing this, he knew. She would not stay here, locked away, and he’d never expect her to. Cain could face Phoebe, but not the world beyond Nine Oaks. Not the crimes he’d committed.
“I’ve hurt you.”
“You’re hurting yourself and you’re lying to yourself. Big, strong, rich and powerful Cain Blackmon, and you let some ghost haunt you?”
“And you’re letting Kreeg haunt you,” he threw back.
“Kreeg is not stopping me from enjoying life. He’s stopping me from a good night’s sleep.” She lifted her gloved hand to her mouth and used her teeth to free the knots. Cain came to her, holding the glove and helping her.
“You’re wasting your life.”
“It’s mine to waste.”
She lifted her gaze to his. “And what about me, Cain? Do I mean nothing to you?”
His eyes flared. “You mean everything to me.”
Somwhere in her heart, a spark lit. “Then tell me about Lily, about the rotting boat on the shore.”
Cain went still as glass, his gaze riveted to her, but not seing her. “No.”
“Why?”
“No!” He turned and left.
Phoebe sagged and threw the gloves across the room and snatched up a towel, wiping her face. She’d had free access to everything except the boats. Lily had died in a boating accident.
Refusing to let this go, she left the gym, listening for the sound of his voice, his footsteps. She found him on the back veranda, his hands on the stone rail, his shoulders stiff. His head was low, as if a great weight pushed it down.
“I understand your need to shut out the world, Cain. I did that. But now it’s time to get back in and fight.”
“Leave it alone, Phoebe. Please.”
“Don’t leave me, Cain,” she said softly. He lifted his gaze to hers. “You left me nine years ago. Don’t do it again.” Tears choked her throat, fracturing her voice.
She loved him. In that splintered moment, she knew it without a doubt.
“Phoebe, I can’t. You don’t know what I’ve done.”
“Then tell me and let’s work past it.”
His ugly past pressured him to cut the ties and go back to the way things were before she entered his life again. He didn’t want to. God, he wanted her to stay, to be a part of his life, just as she was a part of his heart.
She was the breath that moved each day along, he thought.
“Cain, talk to me.”
“It’s no use, Phoebe.” She’d despise him and be gone anyway, he thought. “I can’t give you what you want. I won’t leave here and I won’t ask you to stay.
“And if you did? What do you think I’d say?”
“It would be cruel to you, sweetheart.” He passed a hand over her hair, cupped her jaw. “You’re so vibrant and alive.”
“And you were last night, too.”
His lip twitched, and Cain gazed into her soulful eyes, and wanted to end his seclusion. “I will not leave here.”
Her expression fell and she stepped back. “Then I will.”
“What?”
“I’m leaving. In the morning.”
“It’s your choice.” The heart-wrenching pain
in his chest made his words soft, and as she turned away, Cain knew he was watching his one chance at something wonderful slip through his fingers.
She won’t be here every day, a voice said. Cain wondered how he’d survive. How he’d breathe without her near.
Phoebe hung up the phone, old fear skating through her. She hugged herself, walking through the house without any direction. Beyond the walls a storm raged in tandem with her feelings.
“Who was on the phone?”
She stopped, refusing to look at Cain. “No one.”
“Phoebe.”
“Leave it alone. I don’t need your help.”
“I want to help.” He reached for her, touching her shoulder and she flinched and whipped around to glare at him.
And Cain saw fear. He frowned. “Phoebe, tell me what’s wrong? What’s happened?”
“That was my lawyer. Or rather the one you hired. The trial starts tomorrow.”
“That’s good then. It will be over soon.”
“He’ll get off and it will never be over!”
She rushed away from him, leaving him standing in the foyer, watching her race up the stairs. Cain spun on his heels and went to his offices, dialing the lawyers. Phoebe refused to testify.
If she didn’t, then Kreeg walked.
She’d spend her life looking over her shoulder in fear and want to hide from the world. She’d become him. He couldn’t let that happen and he hurried to her suite, opening the doors without knocking.
“You have to testify.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Phoebe, he committed a crime against you, you have to put him away.”
“The evidence speaks for itself.”
“But your testimony could clinch it.”
“I can’t,” she cried.
Cain’s heart softened, and he went to her, kneeling beside the chair, and forcing her to look at him.
“You’re scared.”
“I can’t look at him, I can’t. He hurt me, he touched me. And I know he’ll have the best lawyers and money, and get off. I’m nobody.”
“No, you’re not. You can do this.”
She shook her head, and Cain saw her recovery in the last weeks crumbling. “You can’t hide from it. You’ll never be safe if you don’t put him away.” He swallowed hard. “And then you’ll turn into me.”
She met his gaze. “That’s not so bad.”
“Yes, it is.” His expression darkened. “And I won’t allow it.”
“And just how will you do that?”
“I’ll go with you.”
Her eyes flared wide. “What?”
Cain took a deep breath before he said, “I’ll escort you to the trial and stay right beside you.”
She was silent for a moment as his words hit her. He’d leave Nine Oaks? He’d break a five-year seclusion for her? “Do you realize what your appearance in public will do? It will cause more stir than the trial.”
“Then attention will be on me and not you, right?”
“Why? Why would you do this?”
“I want you to feel safe again, Phoebe, and if you don’t go and tell the jury what he did to you, then he could walk away and do the same thing to another woman.” Or to her again, he thought, but knew he’d never let that happen.
“Cain.” Tears slid down her cheek.
“I’ll be with you, baby. I swear, I’ll protect you.”
She fell into his arms, clinging tightly, touched beyond thought, beyond breathing. Over her shoulder Cain squeezed his eyes shut, realizing he wanted Phoebe’s happiness more than he did his own.
Ten
When Cain Blackmon stepped back into the real world, he did it with style, Phoebe thought. A chopper had landed on the Nine Oaks front lawn, and flew them to the airport where they boarded a Gulf-stream jet and headed toward California for the trial.
“You’re gawking,” he said with a gentle smile.
She kept looking around the lush cabin. “You’ve never used this, have you?”
“Suzannah does, and my other employees. But no, I haven’t.”
But he was using it for her.
The impact of what he was doing hit her all over again. He left five years of seclusion behind to be with her now. To shield her. And if she loved him before, she loved him more today. He met her gaze, a tiny frown knitting his brow and she wondered if he knew she’d fallen in love with him.
“I hate flying by the way.”
“You’ve done admirably well considering we’re landing.”
The instant they were out of the jet, they were besieged.
“Word’s out you’re here,” she said and he simply smiled tenderly down at her and guided her to the limousine. She saw another side of him, a man who commanded the world around him, and expected to be obeyed. Cameras flashed, people shouted, and yet she felt safe and guarded in a mad crowd of onlookers. Cain said nothing, refusing to respond to a single question even when they were offensive and cruel. His arm around her was a comforting shelter as he escorted her into the courthouse and to her lawyers.
She stilled when she saw Kreeg enter, and that smug smile of his fell when his gaze landed on Cain. He went pale and turned to his attorneys, whispering furiously.
Phoebe looked up at Cain. His expression was murderous as he stared at Kreeg. She nudged him and when he met her gaze, the look evaporated, replaced by a smile.
Bending to kiss her cheek, he whispered, “Be brave. I’m right here. He can’t touch you anymore.”
The trial proceeded, evidence produced and debated. The lawyers Cain hired were magnificent, and the private detective shed light on Kreeg’s past. This wasn’t the first time he’d tormented a woman, and a parade of victims on the stand confirmed it. Phoebe’s stomach clenched when she had to take the stand, yet she kept her gaze on Cain. He was her anchor, and she gathered strength from him, his encouraging smile, and when Kreeg’s lawyers tried to destroy her, they failed.
Then the jury was sequestered. Cain had taken a suite in a nearby hotel and posted guards around the clock to keep the press and the curious away. Watching him take control of the situation, Phoebe didn’t say much. She was grateful for his strength.
“Phoebe, you should rest.”
She looked up from her perch on the sofa. “I want it to be over.”
“It will be.” He looked at his watch.
“What’s taking so long? It’s been a while,” she said.
“No, it hasn’t. They are deciding a man’s future. I’m just wondering where dinner is.”
That made her smile, and the corners of his mouth lifted in tandem. He came to sit down beside her.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You’re welcome.”
“It wasn’t so hard, was it?”
He thought for a second. “I didn’t seclude myself because of the press and nosy people, Phoebe. I secluded myself because I didn’t want to be near anyone and inflict my moods on them.”
“Well, I’ve seen some of those moods. They aren’t so bad.”
He eyed her, knowing the truth.
“Well, you’ve been wonderful to me,” she said.
He smirked to himself. “Yes well, you’re hard to resist and difficult to keep away.”
“Are you saying I’m pushy?”
“Oh hell, yes.”
She laughed and Cain grinned. “Admit it, you’ve had fun,” she said.
“Nah, you’ll get an ego.”
She gave him a playful shove and unwound her body from the tight curl in the corner of the sofa. “You know the ugly parts of my life, Cain. When will you tell me yours?”
Cain leaned forward and clasped his hands, staring at them. “Phoebe, please understand.” Cain could feel the battle boiling inside him, sudden and harsh at the first thought of his crime. The power of guilt was an ugly creature and it had badgered him for years.
“Cain, please.”
He didn’t answer, and Phoebe could see the emotion simmering u
nder his expression.
“I can’t understand any of it, if I don’t know the truth.”
He rounded on her, his expression contorted in guilt. “You want the truth? Are you sure?”
“Yes, I do.”
“I killed my wife, Phoebe. Is that truth enough?”
She reared back. “What? No, that can’t be true.”
“I let her go out on a boat when I knew she wasn’t skilled enough to sail!” He started to stand.
Phoebe pushed him back down. “Whoa, wait a second.” She touched his face, making him look at her and his dark, tortured stare broke her heart. “Take a breath.”
He did, pushing his fingers through his hair and knowing it was now or never. Cain realized he was simply postponing the inevitable, but he didn’t want to lose her now.
“I told you I married her because she carried my child. I didn’t love her and I never claimed to love her. She was a weekend in my life that ruined both our lives.”
“But she loved you, didn’t she?”
“Yes. God, it killed me to see it in her eyes all the time. When she lost the child, I tried to make it work. But we were strangers in the same house. She wanted me to love her and I couldn’t.” He looked at Phoebe. “I tried, but it wasn’t there.” Not like it is for you, he thought, and looked away. “And after a couple of months, she knew it never would be. Her feelings turned to hate and anger, and we fought over everything. I talked to my lawyer about filing for divorce. I meant to tell her that night, but she learned it by eavesdropping. We had a terrible fight, said things to each other that were cruel.”
“How did she die on the boat?”
“After the fight, she went outside. I knew she was on the property from the cameras and staff. I thought she’d cool off and we could at least part like adults, be civil. She went off like that a lot when we’d argue, but she was gone a long time. So I went to look for her. She was in the boat, just sitting in it. It was tied to the dock and she shouted at me to leave her alone.”
Cain rubbed his mouth, then clasped his hands again. He’d never let himself think of that night for long, but now it unfolded in his mind.
“I didn’t think she’d take the boat out. She wasn’t a skilled sailor, and she knew it!”
Secret Nights at Nine Oaks Page 11
