by Ruth Langan
As she turned the key in the ignition, she wondered what in the world she would say when she reached Thad’s apartment. She didn’t have a clue. She had no plan, no program, no map to guide her through this maze. All she knew was that she had to try to plead her case. And if she failed, she’d have the rest of her life to regret it.
“I’m hungry, Daddy.”
Brittany’s words pulled Thad back from the edge of darkness. “What do you feel like eating, honey?” The thought of food actually repulsed him.
She studied the neon signs flying past the car window. “I like their chicken strips.” She pointed to a flashing sign up ahead. “And their dipping sauce.”
As he drove to the speaker and placed an order it occurred to him that his daughter was only four years old, and she knew the menu of every fast-food place in town. It was one more layer of guilt to wallow in. And he was already practically drowning in it.
By the time they got back to their apartment, he was battling a raging headache. Once inside he began assembling food on a plate while Brittany climbed up to the table.
“Heather likes their dipping sauce, too. But she says her recipe is better.”
“That’s nice.” He filled a plastic cup with juice and sat down across from her. “I thought she didn’t like to cook.”
“She said she’s a good cook. But she doesn’t get the chance to do it often. Don’t you remember?”
When he didn’t answer Brittany glanced at him. “Aren’t you eating, Daddy?”
“No. I’m not hungry tonight.”
“Heather likes to eat.”
“Yeah. I’ve noticed.”
“I like being with Heather. She makes everything fun.” The little girl paused to wipe her mouth. “Why couldn’t she come home with us, Daddy?”
“Because she doesn’t live here. She lives at the Colton ranch.”
“But she said that isn’t her real home. Have you ever seen Heather’s real home, Daddy?”
“No, honey.” He sighed. With every mention of that name, the knife was driven deeper. “Eat your dinner before it gets cold.”
At a knock on the door he was almost relieved to escape. “You stay here and I’ll see who it is.”
He peered through the peephole and visibly paled. The last thing he’d wanted was another blow to the heart. But apparently that was what he was about to face.
He tore open the door and forced himself to meet those stormy blue eyes. “Heather.”
Seeing the way he barred her entrance, she said simply, “May I come in?”
“Sure.” He stepped aside and saw her glance around as she entered.
“Where’s Brittany?”
“In the kitchen. Did you have a reason for coming here? Something you left behind?”
His words were obviously meant to cut. But she’d had plenty of time to think on her way here. She’d already steeled herself to overlook his words and try to hear the meaning beneath them.
She stepped away from the door and stood very tall, needing to hold herself together. “I’m not Vanessa, Thad.”
He blinked. That wasn’t at all what he’d expected to hear. “I don’t know what you—”
She held up a hand to silence him. “I know you don’t like to talk about her. Or about your marriage. But you told me enough to let me fill in the blanks. I’m sorry that the two of you were so badly mismatched, but that has nothing to do with you and me.”
“Doesn’t it?” His eyes narrowed. “Do you know how many people go from relationship to relationship, always ending up with the same situation time after time?”
“Don’t quote statistics, Thad. This is about us. Or rather, about me. You’ve decided that because I’m young and blond and come from money, I’m a clone of your first wife. But I’m not. Look at me, Thad. I’m the same woman you couldn’t wait to love.”
He winced. “And as I told you, it happened before.”
“But it doesn’t have to happen again. You’re a different man now than the one who married Vanessa. For one thing you’re a father now, Thad, and that has given you a whole new perspective on life.” Her voice lowered. “I know you’ve been hurt, and that makes you want to guard your heart. But I’d never trample on it, Thad.”
“You may not want to, but you won’t be able to help yourself.” When she opened her mouth to protest he said, “Listen to me.” He was careful not to touch her. If he did, he’d be lost. Even now, knowing he had to send her away, he wanted her. Ached for her. “I’m a cop, making do on a cop’s salary. How long do you think you could go on living in this cramped apartment before you went to Daddy and asked him to buy you a big house like the one you grew up in?”
“You can’t be serious. Do you really think so little of me, Thad?”
He hated the pain in her eyes. But this was for her own good. If he could just hold out a few minutes longer, he’d be doing her the biggest favor of her life. “I once told you that you can’t help being who you are, any more than I can help being who I am. And what you are is the product of wealth and privilege. How could any man ask a princess to live in a hovel?”
“If he loved her enough, he’d ask. And if she loved him enough, she’d be honored to accept.”
She waited, giving him one more chance to say the word that would keep her here. When he remained silent she took a step back, until she felt the door behind her.
Turning, she flung it open and paused on the threshold. “If you’d have asked me, Thad, I’d have stayed for a lifetime.” She swallowed hard. “When you opened the door just now you asked if I’d left something behind. I did. It was my heart. I gave it to you, Thad. You and Brittany, trusting that you’d cherish it the way I cherish the two of you.”
She ran to the car, praying she could hold back the tears.
Thad turned to see his little daughter standing in the kitchen doorway. Her eyes were wide and unblinking.
“Why did Heather look so sad, Daddy?”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and decided it was time for a little honesty. “Because I sent her away.”
“Why?”
“Because I thought it was best.”
“Best for who, Daddy?”
“For Heather.” He walked closer and knelt down so that he was eye-level with his daughter. “Heather is young and beautiful. We have no right to ask her to spend her life with us.”
“Oh.” She stared into his eyes with the directness so typical of a child. “Are we going to marry someone old and ugly, Daddy?”
The question caught him so off-guard, he was rocked back on his heels. When he found his voice he muttered, “Out of the mouths of babes.” He considered for several moments before saying, “Maybe, in the back of my mind, I was thinking just that. Because it would be safer somehow.”
“What about in the front of your mind, Daddy?”
He nearly smiled. “In the front of my mind I think about Heather. A lot.” He cleared his throat. “Do you think Heather could love us, Brittany?”
She nodded. “Uh-huh. And you know what, Daddy?”
“What, honey?”
“I think you love Heather as much as I do.”
He arched a brow. “Why do you think that?”
“’Cause you look so sad.” She touched a fingertip to the furrow between his brows, just the way she’d seen Heather do. “And that’s the same way Heather looked when she left. And you know what else, Daddy?”
“What, honey?”
“When Heather was here with us, we were so happy. I felt like I had a real mommy.”
He held her a little away and stared into her eyes, before shaking his head in wonder. “How did you get so smart?” Then he drew her close to his heart and pressed his lips to her temple. “You’re right. And so was Heather. I’ve made a terrible mistake.” He lifted her in his arms and snatched up his keys. “Come on.”
“Where are we going, Daddy?”
“To make things right.”
Thad tried to ignore his daug
hter’s delighted chatter as he drove toward the Colton ranch. What could he possibly say to Heather? The truth, of course. But didn’t women want more? Didn’t they want the words all wrapped up in pretty paper and tied with ribbon? He was no good at this. Never had been. He was a plainspoken man. Still, he decided to rehearse a few lines. He’d tell her he’d been wrong to think she was anything like Vanessa, but he’d been trying to shield her from his own shortcomings. After all, he was no prize package.
He turned up the drive leading to the ranch and mentally cursed himself. All of that may be true, but there were different degrees of the truth. And in simple language, he’d been protecting his own heart. That was what all of this had been about. He’d been afraid to love someone as special as Heather McGrath. Afraid that she couldn’t possibly love him as much as he loved her.
There. He’d admitted it to himself. Now if only he could do the same to her.
He turned off the ignition and stared at the house a moment before getting out and taking his daughter by the hand.
They were met at the door by Inez who led them to Joe’s office. Thad glanced around, expecting to see Heather. Instead, Joe was alone.
Joe looked up with a smile. “Hey, Thad. Hello, Brittany.”
“Hi, Joe. I’m here…we’re here,” he corrected, “to see Heather.”
Joe looked from Thad to his daughter and could see the same serious expression in both pair of eyes. “Sorry. She’s gone.”
“Gone where?”
“Back to San Diego. She didn’t even pack, just asked if she could take one of the cars. I told her the new red Corvette was hers to keep. I bought it as a gift to thank her for all the work she’d done here.”
“She’s…gone for good?”
“Yeah.” Joe saw a bleak look come into the detective’s eyes and knew that what he’d suspected was true. Heather and Thad must have had some sort of lover’s spat. He’d seen that same bleak look in Heather’s eyes when she’d returned from town.
Joe glanced at his watch. “She’s got a head start. Been gone about ten minutes now. But I suppose a smart cop would know a couple of slick ways to catch her.” He paused a beat. “That is, if he really wanted to.”
Thad nodded and snatched up his daughter. “Come on, Brittany. We’ve got to run.”
Joe put a hand on his arm. “Why don’t you leave Brittany here with me? I just happen to have some bubbles left.” He held up a bottle and heard the little girl’s squeal of delight. “And I’d think you could take a lot more risks if you’re alone, Thad.”
Thad turned to his daughter. “What do you say, Brittany? Want to go with me, or stay with Uncle Joe?”
“I’ll stay with Uncle Joe, Daddy. As long as you promise to bring Heather back home to us.”
“I promise, honey.” He shot Joe a grateful look. “Thanks, my friend. I owe you.”
Heather barely glanced at the passing scenery as she roared along the highway. What a difference a few weeks had made in her life. She’d arrived here with such high hopes and now she was leaving with a heart so battered and bruised, she wasn’t certain it would ever heal.
She ought to hate Thad Law for what he’d done to her. But she couldn’t. All she could do was hate the past that had made him so afraid to trust. Maybe some day he’d be able to move beyond this and find someone with whom he’d take a chance.
That thought cut her to the quick and she blinked hard before fiddling with the dials of the car radio. At the first blast of rock music she winced and turned it off.
In the sudden silence she thought she heard the sound of a siren. Since it seemed to be growing louder, she glanced in the rearview mirror to see a police car bearing down on her, lights flashing. She was so startled she looked around to see who it could possibly be following, but hers was the only car on this stretch of highway. Puzzled, she pulled over, and the squad car pulled up directly behind her.
A young officer strode toward her and said firmly, “Please step out of the car, ma’am.”
“Step out? Why? What have I done? I wasn’t speeding, Officer.”
“I know that, ma’am. But I was given a description of your car and asked to hold you until backup arrived.”
“Backup?” She was clearly annoyed as she opened the door of the Corvette and stepped out, trying to see beyond the mirrored glasses of the young officer.
But he gave away nothing as he stepped back a pace and glanced toward an approaching car. “Here’s my backup now,” he muttered as Thad slammed the car door and stalked toward them.
Thad’s voice was rough with impatience. “Good work, Scott. Thanks.”
“No problem, sir. I figured this must be a pretty important case.”
“Yeah, Scott. The biggest of my life.”
“You want me to stay and give you a hand, sir?”
“No, thanks. I can take it from here.”
With a last glance at Heather, the young officer returned to his police car and drove away.
With hands on her hips Heather faced Thad. “How dare you embarrass me this—”
“Call it the desperate actions of a crazy man.”
“Having me stopped by a—”
“I know. I’m sorry I had to resort to bending all the rules.” He saw her look of astonishment. “Yeah. Go figure. Your Mr. Straight Arrow has been thoroughly corrupted. I’ve broken the cardinal rule of the force. Never allow your personal life to interfere with your professional behavior as an officer of the law. But, as I said, I’m desperate. I couldn’t let you leave.”
Whatever she’d been about to say died on her lips. She stopped, then tried again. “Why not?”
“Because I was wrong. About everything. And you were right. I was afraid. Afraid of taking off my blinders and seeing the truth.”
“What is the truth, Thad?”
He said it simply. It was the only way he knew. “Heather, I love you. Brittany loves you. And, though we certainly don’t deserve it, you love us.”
She felt tears sting and blinked them back. “How can you say that? I’m still the same person I was an hour ago. Rich, spoiled. And you were right. Just look at this gift from my uncle. It’s certainly more than I ever expected, but then, as you pointed out, I’ve been treated like a princess my whole life.”
His voice was rough with feeling. “Joe told me about the Corvette. I guess I’ll just have to get used to having royalty around. And if your family insists on giving you lavish gifts, I’ll just have to get used to that, too.” He was still afraid to touch her. Afraid that the pain he’d inflicted was too deep, her feelings too raw. “I said some terrible things. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”
She stared deeply into his eyes, trying to read his thoughts. The pain and remorse were there. As deeply felt, she thought, as her own feelings. “I might be persuaded.”
“I’ll do anything, Heather. Anything to make it right between us.”
She felt the beginnings of a smile touch the corners of her lips. “Anything?”
He nodded. “Name it. If it’s within my power, I’ll get it for you. Just say I’m forgiven.”
She waited a minute longer, willing her heartbeat to slow down. Then she touched a hand to his arm. “I can’t stay angry with you, Thad.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, too overcome to speak. When he opened them he got down on his knees in the dirt. “I don’t want a weekend lover, Heather. I want a wife. I’m talking about marriage. About forever. If you’ll have me.”
For one brief moment Heather felt her heart actually leap before it began a wild dance. She looked into those deep blue eyes and wondered how she could have ever thought them cold. There was such fire in them now. A blaze that started a similar fire in her heart.
She caught his hands and brought him to his feet. “It’s what I want, too, Thad. Forever.”
“You’ll marry me?”
“I will.”
He stared at their joined hands, then dragged her close and kissed her, long an
d slow and deep, and felt the blaze become an inferno.
When at last he lifted his head he was smiling. That quick, dangerous smile she’d come to love. “Brittany is going to be so happy. She already thinks of us as a family.”
“Family.” Heather touched a hand to her heart. “You have no idea how much I love the sound of that word. Where is Brittany?”
“With your Uncle Joe.”
She caught his hand. “Come on. Let’s go tell her the news.”
He held back and drew her firmly into his arms, covering her mouth with his in a kiss so hot, so hungry, it had them both trembling.
Against her mouth he whispered, “We’ll tell her. In a little while. But first, I need to just hold you.” And then, as he took the kiss deeper he muttered, “I wonder if there’s a law against a police detective making love with his woman in a brand-new Corvette?”
His woman. She loved the sound of that.
“Admit it, Detective.” She gave him a sultry smile. “It’s not really such a hardship loving a rich woman, is it?”
“I suppose it might have its compensations.”
“Speaking of which, I believe you owe me five dollars. That bet, remember? You thought I couldn’t last in Prosperino for two weeks. And now we’re talking about forever.”
“You see? More corruption of a police officer. What am I going to do about you?”
They both laughed.
“I guess you’re just going to have to resign yourself to the fact that you’re in love with a wild, wicked woman.”
“Wild, maybe. But never wicked.” As his laughter faded, he pressed her back against the car and kissed her.
A car roared past, the driver honking and shouting something unintelligible as he sped away.
“Thad.” Heather pressed a hand to his chest, knowing how he valued his reputation. “We’re in a very public place. Somebody might recognize you.”
He kissed her again, hard and quick, and muttered against her lips, “I’ve wasted too much time worrying about the wrong things. Right now, nothing matters except being with you. I was so afraid I’d driven you away. And now that you’re here in my arms, I’m never letting you go.”
