Courage of the Witch

by Deanna Chase

  Years of fear and pain slammed into Hanna, and she let out a low, guttural sob and steered her car toward Keating Hollow.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “Mom?” Hanna stumbled through the front door of her childhood home. Her eyes burned from the tears she’d shed on the way back to Keating Hollow and her chest was tight with fear.

  “Hanna?” Her mother started down the stairs. “What’s wrong honey? Is it Rhys? I thought he was fine. Did something go wrong?”

  “It’s not Rhys,” Hanna rasped out, her throat raw.

  “Then what, honey?” Mary wrapped her hands around her daughter’s upper arms and really studied her. “Are you hurt?”

  She shook her head. Hurt wasn’t the right word. Devastated? Shocked? Gutted? Any of the three would cover the emotions seizing her insides. But as she opened her mouth to speak, the words wouldn’t come out. Instead she flung her arms around Mary and sobbed.

  “Oh, Hanna, baby. Whatever it is, we’re going to get through it,” her mother whispered as she ran a light hand down her daughter’s back and gently rocked her as if she were a toddler. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “What’s wrong?” Walter Pelsh asked as he came in through the kitchen door.

  Hanna stared at him, her vision blurry. “Dad?”

  “Yes, hon?” He walked over, and Mary released Hanna, letting her father wrap her in his strong arms. “Let it out, sweet girl. We’ve got you. Whatever it is, we’ve got you.”

  Hanna wasn’t sure how long she stayed in her father’s arms, holding on for dear life. She let his calm wash over her as she pressed her head to his solid chest. His embrace warmed her frozen limbs and made her feel safe even if she knew it was only an illusion. She knew what was waiting for her. And it was a damned nightmare.

  “I’m going to go make some hot chocolate,” Mary said. “Whatever this is, we clearly need reinforcements.”

  Hanna didn’t know why, but her mother’s statement made her laugh. Hot chocolate was her mother’s answer to everything. It always had been. And that one bit of normalcy made her just a little stronger. She sucked in a deep breath. “I have something I have to tell you both.”

  “Want to go to the kitchen?” Walter asked her.

  Hanna nodded, steeling herself against the pain she was going to cause both of her parents.

  Walter wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her into the kitchen. Mary had already put a box of tissues on the table along with a plate of snickerdoodles. The smallest whisper of a smile tugged at Hanna’s lips. If there was one thing she could count on, it was that her mother was always prepared for a meltdown. She couldn’t remember when the house hadn’t been stocked with fresh baked cookies and the fixings for hot chocolate.

  Hanna took her regular seat at the kitchen table and reached for the tissues. Her face had to be a mess, but it was the last thing on her mind. How was she going to sit at this table and rip her parents’ hearts out? Another sob formed in the back of her throat, and her breath halted as she tried to suck in air.

  “Whatever it is, we’re here for you,” Walter said, taking his seat beside her and wrapping her hand in his.

  Mary, who’d set the hot chocolate in motion with her air magic, hurried over and sat across from Walter. “Where’s Rhys, honey? Should he be here?”

  Goddess above. She should call Rhys. This affected him, too. She just didn’t have it in her to do it. Not yet. Still she nodded because last night she’d made a promise that they’d be honest and communicate with each other.

  A small voice in the back of her mind said, He doesn’t deserve this. You can’t marry him now.

  She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to dislodge the destructive thought.

  “Hanna?” Her mother asked. “Is that a yes or no?”

  Hanna’s eyes popped open, and she squeaked, “Yes. He should be here.”

  “I’ll call him.” Mary reached for her phone, rose from the table, and walked into the other room. Hanna was glad. She didn’t want to hear the worry in her mother’s tone as she summoned him. Glancing at the clock, she grimaced. He was probably at her house, waiting for her at that very moment. Their dinner reservation was in ten minutes. It was then she realized she’d left her phone in her car. No doubt he’d already been trying to reach her to find out where she was. She lowered her head and rested it on her arm. This day was a mess.

  “He’ll be here in ten minutes,” Mary said as she entered the room. Then she muttered a curse and rushed over to her hot chocolate operation. The milk had exploded on the stove without her there to monitor it.

  “I’ll be right back,” Hanna said, rising from her chair. She knew she was a mess and wanted to at least try to put herself back together before Rhys arrived. She took her time in the bathroom, washing her face and pressing a cool washcloth to her eyes, and she didn’t come out until she heard the front door open and close, followed by the rumbling of voices. Rhys was there. It was time to face the music.

  Taking a deep, fortifying breath, Hanna let herself out of the safety of the bathroom and headed back to the kitchen.

  Rhys popped up from the chair that her father had previously occupied and hurried over to her. He pressed his palm to her cheek. “What happened, love? What did the healer say?”

  “Healer?” Mary gasped out. “Is that where you were today?”

  Hanna glanced over Rhys’s shoulder and nodded very slowly. She’d forgotten that she’d left Rhys a message that she had to run to Eureka to see Healer Snow.

  “Hanna?” her mother’s voice rose. “What did she say?”

  How was she supposed to say the words she knew they all needed to hear? She wasn’t sure she could get her mouth to work correctly. Instead, Hanna met Rhys’s eyes and tried to silently share all of her truth with him. He knew her deepest fear. They all did. But if anyone could read her mind, it was him.

  “Jesus,” Rhys said on barely a whisper as he searched her watery eyes. “The healer found something in your bloodwork, didn’t she?”

  Hanna nodded, and one tear slipped down her cheek.

  He pulled her into a fierce hug. “We’re going to get through this, love. I promise.”

  “What did she say, Hanna?” her mother asked. “What exactly did she say?”

  “Mary,” Walter said softly. “Give her a minute.”

  Hanna pulled back from Rhys just enough to look up into his dark eyes. There was pain reflecting back at her, but nothing that looked like fear. It was enough to fortify her. If Rhys was by her side, she could get through this.

  “Let’s sit,” Hanna said and led Rhys back to the table.

  Mary blew out a breath, rolled her shoulders, and then calmly walked over to the counter where the hot chocolate was lined up. She grabbed the whipped cream, sprayed a generous helping on each one, and then brought the four mugs over to the table using a tray. The fact that she wasn’t using her magic told Hanna that she was shaken. They all were.

  Once Hanna had the mug in her hands, she met Rhys’s eyes and said, “I’ve developed the same condition as Charlotte.”

  Her mother let out a sharp gasp, but her father only reached across the table and squeezed her hand.

  Rhys rested his hand on her thigh and asked, “What does Snow recommend?”

  “I need to go in tomorrow for some sort of treatment.”

  “What time?” Mary asked.

  “Ten.” Hanna took a long fortifying sip of the hot chocolate. The sweetness hit her tongue, and she took a moment to savor the richness. It tasted like love and all the goodness her parents brought to her childhood even in the face of horrible circumstances.

  “I’ll get someone to cover us both,” Mary said. “If I can’t, we’ll just close for the day.”

  “Mom, you don’t—” Hanna started.

  “Hanna, I’m going. It’s not up for discussion.” Her mother’s tone was final. She got up, leaving her mug on the table before she disappeared into the other room.

&n
bsp; “Dad,” Hanna said, turning to her father. “Keep a close eye on her okay? I know she’s in crisis mode, but I’m worried about later when this really hits her.”

  Her father’s hand tightened on hers. “She’s strong, Hanna. You don’t need to worry about her. She’ll move heaven and earth to do what needs to be done. You know that.”

  She did know that. But she also knew that everyone had a breaking point, and having to relive this nightmare might just be the straw that broke the camel’s back for Mary Pelsh. “Just… take care of her.”

  “I always do,” he said gently. “Now, what do you need from me? Reassurances that we’ll get through this? Or do we just need to go out in the back field and blow off steam? I can have the tractors up and running in minutes.”

  Gods, her father was a treasure. She had no idea how he could take in the day’s devastating news and then suggest doing donuts on the farm tractors. But he had. He’d been that way with Charlotte, too. With every terrible piece of news that came along, he was there to offer something different from despair. Some of her most memorable moments from her childhood were after a particularly trying day at the healer’s office. Her favorite was the day her dad took them to the local race track and paid for them to get rides with professional drivers. Now that she looked back on it, her dad was probably the reason she was fearless.

  “I love you, Dad. Let’s go check out the tractors,” she said, popping up out of the chair, relieved to be able to focus on something else other than her scary health situation.

  “Tractors?” Rhys asked.

  “It’s time to make the donuts, Silver,” Hanna said, pulling him out of his chair. “I hope you don’t mind a little mud. Springtime down by the pond is always fun.”

  “Donuts?” he chuckled. “You’re not talking about the ones at the café are you?”

  “Nope.”

  Walter draped his arm around Hanna. “Come on, kid. Let’s go show your fiancé how it’s done.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Hanna threw her head back and laughed as she watched Rhys turn his tractor in a circle, spraying mud all over her father’s ride. They were in the field farthest from the house, down by the pond they used to use as a swimming hole when Hanna was a kid. There were a lot of good memories in that field. And this was going to be another one.

  Still laughing, Hanna set the speed of her own tractor and let her foot off the clutch. The tractor shot forward, and with one quick turn of the wheel, Hanna coated her father’s tractor with her own spray of mud. The entire exercise was silly and freeing and exactly what Hanna needed.

  The moon was high in the sky, illuminating the field and bouncing off the pond. It was a gorgeous night but the wind had started to pick up, and it didn’t take long for Hanna to get chilled. Caked with mud but in higher spirits, the trio finally put the tractors away and headed back to the house. Once inside, Hanna cleaned up in one of the upstairs bathrooms, while Rhys took the downstairs, and her father disappeared into the master.

  Once Hanna was reasonably clean, she emerged and headed back toward the stairs. But just as she passed Charlotte’s old room, she heard the soft muffled sobs of her mother. She poked her head in and felt the crushing weight of grief hit her, just as it always did when she spied Charlotte’s old room. It had eventually been turned into a guest room, but there were still signs of Charlotte everywhere. The painting she’d done in high school hung over the bed. She’d stenciled the closet doors with a gorgeous tree of life depiction. And there were inspirational quotes, all of them gathered by her sister, in picture frames set out around the room.

  Hanna didn’t say a word as she slipped into the room, crawled onto the bed, and wrapped her arms around her mother. Whatever panic Hanna was feeling, she imagined her mother felt it at least two times over. It must’ve been torture to stand by not one but two daughters in the same medical crisis and be unable to do anything to help.

  “I love you, honey,” Mary said. “You’re going to conquer this. I know it. The gods wouldn’t take both of you from me.”

  Hanna wasn’t so sure that was the case, but she nodded anyway, giving her mother the comfort she craved.

  “I owe you such a big apology,” her mother sniffled as she handed her a folded piece of parchment.

  “What’s this?” Hanna asked, taking the paper.

  “It’s a letter Charlotte wrote to the universe. I found it a few weeks ago when I was purging some old boxes in the attic. I started watching Marie Kondo and figured it was time to let go of some things. But then I found a box of Charlotte’s and… it nearly broke me. It’s been so long since I let myself go back there. And when I did, I don’t know, it was like a damn broke and I lost my mind. This letter is the reason I was so negative about Rhys. But dammit, I was so wrong. Look at him. He’s your rock.”

  “He is my rock,” Hanna agreed and again felt the twinge of uncertainty. Was it fair to let him walk this path with her? She knew what it meant to have this disease. It wasn’t at all the same as a heart condition that could suddenly and unexpectedly take the life of a loved one. This would mean a slow deterioration. Lots of bad days albeit with good ones sprinkled in. It was a mental challenge as well as a physical one, and it wouldn’t be easy.

  “What’s that look, Hanna?” her mother asked softly. “You’re not having second thoughts about Rhys, are you?”

  Damn. How was it that her mother had the ability to read her mind? She sighed. “I just don’t want to put him through what’s coming. I love him too much for that.”

  Mary pressed her lips into a thin line. “That’s his choice, baby, not yours, and you have to let him make it. Just like you wanted to make your own choice regarding his health challenges. How did you feel about him pushing you away?”

  “I hated it. But now at least I understand where he was coming from.”

  “I doubt you do. I doubt either of you understand.” She wrapped her arms around her daughter and patted her shoulder.

  Hanna tilted her head and eyed her mother in confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means you’re probably protecting yourself from seeing him in pain. You love him, Han. You don’t want to be the cause of what makes him ache with sadness. And he likely didn’t want to live with the knowledge of the kind of pain he might eventually bring to you and any children you have.”

  “What’s the difference? Either way we’re both trying to protect ourselves and each other.”

  “The difference is if you’re trying to protect yourself, you’re not trusting the other person to be the one they want to be. Love is messy, baby. And just because you push someone away, that doesn’t mean they stop loving you or hurting when you’re hurt. But you already know that. I’ve known it, too. I just forgot it for a while.” She nodded to the note in Hanna’s hand. “Read that and you’ll understand why I said the things I said. Mother’s aren’t always rational.”

  Hanna glanced down at the letter. It was in her sister’s flowery handwriting.

  * * *

  Dear Universe,

  Today I learned my condition is getting worse. It’s likely I won’t live to see my dreams come true. But I want to put them here, shout them out to you in case there’s still a shred of hope. All I’ve ever wanted in this life is to love and be loved. I know I’ve been lucky in my short life. I have had a great love in Drew. There is no better family than mine, and I have the best friends that a girl could ask for. So it might sound selfish when I ask that you let me live to see my wedding day and the day my first child might be born. I don’t need riches or a fancy career, though I’d love to share more of my art with the world. All I want is what my mom has—a family that comes before everything else.

  I know that’s asking a lot considering my circumstances, so I’ll add that if it can’t be me, let Hanna’s dreams come true. Bestow upon her a great love, a life full of adventure, and the freedom to choose her own path. She always was one for going her own way. I admire her and am sorry I
likely won’t be here to watch her thrive.

  That’s it for now,

  Charlotte

  * * *

  Hanna met her mother’s watery gaze. “I don’t understand. I already have what Charlotte asked for. Why would you want me to not be with Rhys?”

  “Because, honey. I wanted at least one daughter to have it all. I wanted that great love to last a lifetime to make up for what Charlotte lost.” She shook her head. “It probably doesn’t make sense to you, but I just wanted you to experience what she couldn’t. It’s not right. But grief is never rational.”

  Hanna stared at her sister’s words and started to feel like the luckiest person in the world. She did have everything Charlotte had wished for her… and more. But now she had her sister’s challenges, too. “Mom, I think it’s time we stopped wallowing.”

  Mary looked down at her daughter. “I wasn’t aware that we were wallowing, honey. I’d say we’re still adjusting and trying to find our way forward.”

  “Okay, fine. But I’m done being sad. I have a life to live, and I’ll be damned if I stop just because of this diagnosis. Charlotte never let it get her down. I’m not going to either.”

  Her mother’s lips curved into a smile. “You’re right. She didn’t.”

  Hanna slipped out of her mother’s embrace and got to her feet. “I’ll see you at the clinic tomorrow?”

  “We’ll both be there,” Mary said, all evidence of her tears gone.

  “Good. Now go be with Dad. He’ll need you to keep him from falling apart after I leave.” Walter was great at being strong when he needed to be. It was in the quiet moments that life caught up to him.

  “I will. Tell Rhys…” She frowned as if trying to choose her words. “Just tell him we’re here, whatever he needs.”