by J. H. Croix
He stroked roughly through her hair, angling her head back as he tore his lips from hers. They blazed a hot, wet trail around her ear and down her neck, sending hot shivers coursing through her. His palm slid up her back, a path of pure heat and strength. She arched into him, frantic to get closer. Longing surged through her, so deep it shook her to her core. Too long without any intimate touch, she’d wondered if she’d lost the capacity to feel passion. With Hayden, she came afire in his arms.
His lips and tongue meandered in slow, tortuous path along her collarbone, dipping down to the valley between her breasts. He started to tug at her blouse when he froze completely. His lips left her skin, and he lifted his head. His warm amber eyes met hers. Her pulse beat so rapidly, she could barely catch her breath. It felt as if they were suspended in time, hot, liquid need pulsing between them, an otherworldly passion shimmering in the air around them.
He looked almost pained. He swallowed, easing his grip slightly. He cleared his throat. “Shana, you have to know I want you. So much.” His voice was rough, barely above a whisper, the sound itself shimmying under her skin, amping up the sensation coursing through her. “I don’t know if this is such a good idea. Your husband…”
Anger arced through her. She shook her head sharply. “My husband not only wasn’t the man I thought he was, he hadn’t touched me in over two years when he died. Our marriage was a joke.”
Hayden’s eyes widened, sadness and confusion passing through them.
She took a shaky breath. “No one knew what it was like. Before he died, I was trying to get the courage to divorce him. When I met you in Montana, it was the first time in years I felt something. After wasting too many years of my life the way I did, I don’t want to do that anymore. I barely know you, but I know what I feel between us. I don’t have any expectations. I just don’t want to be the good girl anymore. I want a chance to feel something again. If you’re worried it will get complicated, it won’t. I know you enough to guess you might worry about my brother. Don’t. I’m far past needing him to take care of me. It’s none of his business.”
She ran out of words and remained still. To say aloud what her marriage with Callen had really been was such a relief, emotion tightened her chest for a moment before loosening with the release of the secret. Her eyes fell, landing on the golden skin at Hayden’s throat. The collar of his shirt was open, revealing just enough skin to tempt her. She knew by touch that he was all muscle under there. Desire raced through her, ebbing and flowing with each breath and beat of her heart.
“Shana.” Hayden’s voice was low, taut and vibrating with feeling.
She met his eyes again. Her low belly clenched, wet heat pulsed between her thighs.
“I’m sorry.”
For a moment, she thought he was saying he was sorry, but he couldn’t be with her. Shame began to rise inside of her. Mortified that she’d dredged up the courage to approach him, she questioned if she misunderstood what she thought she felt from him. She started to pull back, but he held her firm, a hand tightening on her hip while the other slid around her back. His eyes held hers, searching.
He shook his head slowly. “No, I’m sorry for what your marriage was. You didn’t deserve that, no one does.”
Relief eased the tension rising in her. For all her bravado in practically launching herself at him, she was suddenly shy. To have the truth of her life out there made her feel too exposed, too vulnerable. After a year of one train wreck after another, all the while trying to keep her chin up, the weariness started to edge its way into the moment.
Hayden’s eyes held hers expectantly. She pulled the words up out of her. “No, no one deserves that. It’s made everything that happened over the last year…complicated.”
He nodded slowly. “It was complicated to begin with, but yeah, I’m guessing that made things even harder for you.”
Silence fell again. He still held her close. His heart beat against her hand. The heat of his palm on her back anchored her. Desire pricked at her. She didn’t want the truth of her life to interfere with what she felt. She needed to feel, to just be, she needed the escape his touch offered.
She idly traced the edge of his collar, his skin warm under her touch. His breath came out in a sharp gust. Whatever he thought, his body couldn’t lie. The heat of his arousal was still evident, a hot brand against the edge of her hip. “So?” she asked, her voice coming out rough.
His eyes, those eyes she could lose herself in, burned into her. “You’re right that I might have worried about what Dane thought. Not because I think Dane has the right to say anything about who you’re with, but because I didn’t want to take advantage of you.”
“You’re not. I am grieving what’s happened, but not the way you maybe thought. I grieved my marriage for years. Since Callen died, I’ve had to come to terms with how many levels of his life were a lie. But don’t think for a minute you’re taking advantage. If you respect me, don’t let your decisions include what my overbearing brother might think. I’m far past needing his protection. I want this, I want you.”
Hayden held still, the silence between them weighted, before nodding once. He didn’t say a word. He simply tightened his fingers in her hair and fit his mouth over hers again.
Chapter 3
Shana’s silvery eyes looked up at his, a mix of sultry, sexy, and vulnerable at once. Hayden hadn’t quite recovered from learning her husband had ignored her. How any man could ignore Shana was beyond comprehension. She was breathtaking and nearly wrecked his control just by existing. A tiny corner of his mind reminded him Dane would probably disagree emphatically with Hayden’s choice to accept what Shana was offering. But then, Hayden’s honor here was to Shana, and she was right to argue her brother had no say in this part of her life. She’d lived through a grueling year and done so mostly alone since, if he understood correctly, no one close to her knew she’d been living in a loveless marriage.
While he could tell himself this was happening because it was what Shana wanted, the truth was he wanted her with such force, he could hardly corral his feelings. He heard the words “I want this, I want you,” and the drumbeat of his heart rose to a crescendo. Her hair was like silk. He tightened his loose grip on it, crashing his mouth to hers again.
Her mouth opened instantly, her tongue tangling with his. He tugged her closer, groaning at the feel of her lush curves against him. He slid a hand down to cup her bottom, savoring its fullness, the give under his grip. She arched into him, pressing against his arousal. Lust surged through him in waves, crashing so hard and fast he could hardly think. But he wasn’t going to let her go through a rushed coupling after years of nothing. He wrangled control of his body and tore his mouth away. His breath came in ragged gasps, but he would slow this down if it killed him.
“Bedroom?” he choked out.
Her eyes had gone smoky. She met his, heat thick between them. She nudged her head behind him. He turned, grabbing her hand. When he felt the hitch in her step, he paused and lifted her against him. Her breath came out in a soft puff, and then she giggled. Her giggle nearly broke the thin thread of control he’d latched onto. In the times he’d seen her, he couldn’t have imagined her giggling. The sound of it reached in and grabbed his heart.
He strode quickly toward the door he presumed to be her bedroom, shouldering through it to find himself in dark room. His eyes adjusted to the dimness. He could make out a large four-poster bed against the far wall. Shana flicked on a lamp as he carried her across the room. She giggled again when he knelt and carefully set her down. Every inch of him had to fight against the urge to roughly take her. A tiny corner of his mind kept reminding himself she’d fallen this morning.
Casting his eyes around, he reached over and flicked on another lamp by her bed. Her bed was piled high with pillows. She fell against them, her hair in a tousle around her face, her smoky gaze pinned to him. He stood swiftly and kicked off his shoes before turning his attention to her. He
slipped her flats off and paused to catch his breath. She wore a gauzy skirt that hugged her hips and twirled at the bottom. He slid his hands up her calves, savoring the strength of them. Her breath caught, sending another jolt of lust through him. He leaned on his knee and brought himself to rest at her side. Stroking a hand in her hair, he commenced to taste every inch of her.
Kissing her was like diving into sweet madness. She threw herself into it—hot, wet, drugging kisses, her tongue tangling sinuously with his. Over the next span of time, Hayden lost all sense of anything beyond the moment to moment between them. He forced himself not to tear her clothes off right away on the erroneous assumption it would help him maintain control. Instead the taunt and tease of feeling her curves through her silky blouse and gauzy skirt notched the heat so high inside, he could barely breathe.
Desperate, he finally tore at her blouse. The buttons slid loose through the silk, revealing her breasts barely covered in black lace. Her breath came in pants and gasps, shredding at his control. The next few moments were a blur as he mapped her body with his hands. Her breasts were lush and full, her nipples dusky. She was all curves and strength, flexing and writhing under his touch. He dragged her skirt off and stroked a finger across the wet silk between her legs.
He paused to look up at her long enough that she lifted her head, her smoky eyes locking with his. Somewhere along the way, she’d shoved his shirt off. His pants were unbuttoned, barely containing his cock, which pulsed at the mere thought of being inside of her.
“Hayden…” Her voice came out on a breath and curled like smoke through him.
He stroked the silk again, satisfaction surging through him when her hips shifted against his touch. He set a steady rhythm of strokes, increasing the pressure of his touch, until she was arching into him. Only then did he drag the black lace out of the way, tossing it across the room, and bringing his mouth to her. A low moan came from her as he set to know this part of her. He stroked through her folds with his tongue and fingers, slowly sliding one and then another into her channel. Her hips were restless, her cries broken between her gasps. He felt the build up inside of her, her channel tightening and pulsing around his fingers. She rocked her hips against his mouth. When her entire body went taut, he sucked her clit into his mouth. She tightened and went still before shudders wracked her body. When her hips settled again, he drew away and stood.
***
Shana lay dazed, pleasure spinning through her. All she’d wanted was to feel again, and Hayden had gone and driven her far past any point of pleasure she ever could have imagined. She was tossed in the tumult of sensation. She dragged her eyes open to find him kicking his jeans to the side of the room. Bare, he was a sight to behold, all lean muscle, every inch of him molded and sculpted. He bore faded scars on his chest. Shifters tended to fight and play hard when in mountain lion form and often bore the scars of it. He held a condom in hand and efficiently tore it open, rolling it on in one motion. She’d known by feel that he was well-endowed, but to see him almost took her breath away.
The mattress gave under his weight when he placed a knee on the bed. He moved fluidly, his heat surrounding her as he rested atop her. His elbows bracketed her face. She had wanted this more than she’d known. Yet, she’d been entirely unprepared for the intimacy between them. Because she’d never had the taste of such a feeling. Desire shimmered around them. When his heated gaze met hers, her breath caught in her throat. Her body was pliant from the orgasm that had just crashed through her, but the moment she felt him against her, she was desperate for him to fill her.
He brushed her tangled, damp hair away from her face. His heart beat against her breasts. Liquid need coursed through her. He let his hips fall against her, the weight settling in the cradle of hers. His cock rested against her sex, soaked with want. She felt like she should speak, but she couldn’t form words. She arched against him. In the quiet, taut moments that followed, he slowly ground against her, his cock sliding back and forth against her, nudging her higher and higher into the acute pleasure.
“Shana, I’m trying to go slow…”
His voice broke. She dragged her nails down his back and arched roughly against him, breaking his control. He plunged into her, the surge rough and deep. She almost sobbed in relief at the fullness. Her body clenched around him, unused to being stretched and filled. He held still for a long moment until the tension eased from her. Then, he set to slowly driving in and out of her, his control absolute as he set a steady rhythm. Pressure gathered, tightening its coil inside of her. She curled her legs around his hips and arched up to meet him. This orgasm was even more intense, starting in slow, sweet pings of sensation that built and built until it crashed through her in almost violent waves. Only when she cried out, scoring his back with her nails did his control break. His hips pounded into hers before his entire body tightened and he arched back with a cry. He held still, his head hanging forward, his weight resting on his arms.
Their breath echoed in the room. He slowly eased down, resting to one side of her. She didn’t want him to withdraw, wanted to maintain the connection, every inch of him as close to her as possible. Her breath finally slowed. He stroked a hand through her tangled hair, his other hand resting on the curve of her belly. She didn’t know how much time passed when he spoke.
“It’s getting cold.” His voice was gruff and broke through her reverie.
She rolled her head to the side and met his eyes. They held a question. While their communication was remarkably good without words when they were skin to skin and caught in the heat between them, she wasn’t up for guessing just now.
“What?” she asked.
He was quiet for a moment before speaking. “I’m not sure if you want me to stay, or if I should make my way out.”
Though a corner of her mind warned against it, she didn’t care to listen to the voice of ‘should’ anymore. It hadn’t done her much good up to this point in her life.
“Stay here. As it is, if you don’t start a fire, it will be freezing in there by morning. If you’re worried about Dane, I’ll just tell him there was no heat and you stayed in one of the bedrooms here. All of it will be true,” she offered, a giggle escaping.
It occurred to her she hadn’t laughed much at all recently and definitely hadn’t giggled. Hayden affected her in more ways than she could have imagined.
His mouth hooked in a smile. “No argument from me. I’ll need to go grab my bag though.”
Chapter 4
Hayden woke to the feel of Shana’s warm, soft body curled up against his. Her bed was ridiculously comfortable with a soft down quilt encompassing them in weightless warmth. It was early yet, the wispy light of dawn filtering through the sheer white curtains. When she shifted in her sleep, his body came to instantly, his cock hard in seconds. Shana had ruined him last night. Oh, he’d wanted her since the moment he’d laid eyes on her last winter in Montana. He’d chalked it up to nothing more than wanting a beautiful, sexy woman who had an aura of unattainability due to the circumstances of her life at the time, or what he’d thought them to be.
Now, in the cold light of morning with last night fresh in his mind, he was left to consider just what the hell he was going to do now. There was no way he could say no to her if she wanted him, but he didn’t know what she wanted. He recalled her brief, flat statement about what her marriage had actually been. Callen’s involvement with the smuggling network and the betrayal and lies he set in motion were nothing compared to what he’d done to Shana. Hayden wasn’t a fool. Though he had experience with a serious relationship, he’d never married. He knew from watching other friends go through the trials and tribulations of long-term relationships that what you saw on the outside most certainly didn’t reflect what lay between two people. To learn Shana had married Callen because she thought she should and he’d gone on to ignore her sliced through Hayden. Shana wasn’t a woman to ignore. For Shana to have had to face Callen’s betrayal against the shifte
rs on top of what he’d already done to her infuriated Hayden.
Hayden turned his head to look at Shana. Her tawny hair fell across the pillows. Her thick lashes rested against her cheeks. Her plump lips were pink and still swollen from his kisses last night. He couldn’t resist and leaned over to kiss her. Despite his body’s disagreement, he forced himself to keep it light. When he pulled away, her eyes opened. Her silvery gaze met his, and his heart clenched.
“Morning,” he said.
A slow smile spread across her face. “Morning.” She rolled over to glance at the clock on the nightstand. Rolling back over, she slid her foot up and down his calf. Lust surged through him.
“We should get up. What time were you and Dane meeting today?”
“We didn’t really say.”
Hayden seriously did not want to get up. He wanted to stay right here in the tangle of Shana and lose himself in her. He also seriously did not want to have her brother knocking at the door in the middle of it.
“I suppose we should get up, huh?”
Shana giggled and nodded. She wiggled away from him and climbed out of bed. He enjoyed the glimpse of her luscious body as she walked into the bathroom adjoining the bedroom.
