by Gail Sheehy
Gail at New York, 1969. Author shot for “The Amphetamine Explosion.”
Photograph by Dan Wynn/Courtesy Demont Photo Management
The New York magazine “family” in their 100-foot-long garret. (Left to right:) Dottie Seiberling, Walter Bernard, Milton Glaser, Aaron Latham, unknown (partially hidden), Clay Felker.
©2014 The Estate of Cosmos Andrew Sarchiapone
Tom Wolfe in full regalia, ca. 1970.
©2014 The Estate of Cosmos Andrew Sarchiapone
Horse race of the New Journalists. This illustration by Arnold Roth, titled “The Pursuit of Social Realism on the Field of Fame, 1972,” appeared in Esquire magazine and depicts the leading practitioners of what was known as “the New Journalism,” including (left to right:) Jack Newfield, John Sack, Michael Herr, Pete Hamill, Jimmy Breslin, Hunter Thompson, Norman Mailer, Terry Southern, Gay Talese, Tom Wolfe, and Gail Sheehy (the sole female representative, leading the pack).
The hound being trampled by the New Journalists’ horses is labeled “The Underground Press”; the leading hounds are labeled (top to bottom:) Esquire, The New Yorker, Harper’s, The Atlantic, and New York. Their quarry, the fox: “Social Realism.” Note the abandoned hound to the rear of John Sack: Life magazine, which ceased weekly publication in 1972.
In the back, to the left, is a group leaving the hunt, labeled “American Novelists.” Breaking off from them and trying to catch up with the New Journalists are Gore Vidal, William Styron, Truman Capote, George Plimpton, and James Agee. Above Agee, on a cliff, are “The Critics.”
© 2014 Arnold Roth
“Redpants and Sugarman” cover story by Gail, 1971.
©New York Media LLC
“The Midlife Crisis” cover story by Gail, 1974.
©New York Media LLC
Tom Wolfe’s iconic New York cover, “Radical Chic,” 1970.
©New York Media LLC
Debut of Ms. magazine inside New York, 1972.
©New York Media LLC
Gail writing Passages, 1975.
Courtesy of the author
Gail and Clay at the beach, 1983.
Courtesy of the author
Clay announcing the takeover of New York, 1977.
©2014 United Press International
Mass walkout of New York. (Left to right:) Byron Dobell, Burt Glinn, Ellen Stern, Gail.
©2014 United Press International
Gail, Clay, and Maura in Mexico with a piñata, 1974.
©Elena Prohaska Glinn for the Estate of Burt Glinn
Gail reporting in a Cambodian refugee camp.
Courtesy of the author
Clay’s seventeen-year-delayed proposal, 1984.
Courtesy of the author
Mohm (right), twelve, meets her new sister, Maura, eighteen, a freshman at Brown University, 1982.
Courtesy of the author
“Familymoon” in Egypt. (Left to right:) Mohm, Gail, Maura, Clay.
Courtesy of the author
Gail with Hillary Clinton, 1992.
Courtesy of the author
Gail with British prime minister Margaret Thatcher, 1989.
Courtesy of the author
Gail and Clay at Literary Lions gala, New York Public Library, 1992.
©2014 Bill Cunningham
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
WRITING A MEMOIR WAS LIKE nothing I have ever done before. To be sure, I have written hundreds of thousands of words, maybe millions in articles and books, but always the focus was on others. Seldom had I closely observed myself. After some false starts, I came to understand that memoir is a wholly independent genre. It is an act of imagination suggested by things that really happened.
To learn from a master, I took a course in memoir given by Roger Rosenblatt in the Stony Brook Southampton M.F.A. program. He tried to mute the journalist in me and release the novelist’s sensibility. Yes, my memoir would be about the world I have observed and the literary circle that shaped me, but that was only the container. “All that lies outside you is inside you,” Roger told us. “In that fortune-cookie truth, I think, you will find your memoir.”
I riffled hungrily through the daily planners that I kept from the 1960s to the early 2000s. They segmented time into neatly uniform units. But memory is a timeless pump of feelings, a surge here, a drizzle there. A year dissolves into a placid lake; a moment inflates into a soap bubble and tempts capture; a day can be an eternity. Feelings, I discovered, believe longer than knowing remembers.
Fortunately, I had often jotted notes about vivid experiences and fragments of dialogue in those Day-Timers, and from those scraps it was possible to reconstruct the architecture of a passage. Dozens of journals evoked my feelings during times of transition and acts of daring. My younger sister, Pat Henion Klein, was a brave excavator into the family drama we lived through in different acts.
Colleagues who were generous in offering recollections include Gloria Steinem, Tom Wolfe, Milton Glaser, Walter Bernard, Ken Auletta, Amanda Urban, Richard Reeves, Barbara Goldsmith, Aaron Latham, Tina Brown, Michael Kramer, Steven Brill, Ken Fadner, Jane Maxwell, Cyndi Stivers, and Dr. Pat Allen. I also thank my trusted readers: Deirdre English, Clay’s successor as director of the Felker Magazine program at Berkeley; Kim Barnes, an accomplished memoirist and finalist for the Pulitzer Prize; Muriel Bedrick, Melanie Horn, Sherrye Henry, Mary Howard, and Priscilla Tucker.
In scraping the sugar coating off my guts, I found the raw desires, the fears and frustrations, the shame and self-loathing that we all feel. Side by side were splurges of creativity, longing rewarded by love, and the laughter that saves us from taking ourselves too seriously. Dredging all this up forces the memoirist to question her choices, only to find the one right answer still elusive, but acceptance easier. I hope my story eases the minds of those who demand of themselves perfection. Everything God makes has cracks in it.
I was fortunate to have as my literary agent Richard Pine, partner at Inkwell Management, a Hall of Famer in publishing Books for a Better Life. My brilliant editor at William Morrow, Jennifer Brehl, sustained me over two years with unwavering enthusiasm and thoughtful critiques. It was my good fortune to be assisted by two remarkable graduates of the M.F.A. program at Stony Brook Southampton, Elaine Rooney, an incisive reader and researcher, and Genevieve Crane, a skillful organizer and doorkeeper against interruptions. We were kept in coffee and comfort by Yolanda Ormaza.
A month before my deadline, as I stared at a mountain of pages knowing that I still had another twenty years to write about, I fell asleep at the wheel of my life. Literally. One day on a hot summer Sunday afternoon, stone sober, I dozed off and swerved across a crowded turnpike. It was what I call a God doing, because I hurt nobody including myself, but it woke me up to reach out and ask for help. I turned to Lou Ann Walker, an accomplished editor and memoirist who teaches a highly prized course on memoir writing in the Stony Brook Southampton M.F.A. program. She identified the underlying theme of my memoir, “daring,” and worked tirelessly with me to flesh out the heart of the book and snip out the rest.
I am eternally grateful to Robert Emmett Ginna Jr., my navigator and my rock from start to finish.
INDEX
The pagination of this electronic edition does not match the edition from which it was created. To locate a specific entry, please use your e-book reader’s search tools.
NOTE: GS refers to Gail Sheehy. Bold numbers refer to picture captions.
Aaron, Chloe, 415
Aaron, David, 415
AARP (American Association for Retired People), 450
ABC Entertainment, 149
abortion: of GS, 34–35; GS stories about, 6
adoption; of Cambodian children, 282–83; of Mohm, 292, 293, 294–96, 312
The Advertiser, 270
Adweek, Maura at, 312
Afghanistan War, 328
alcohol: GS’s problems with, 430–33, 451; Henion’s (Lillian) problems with, 21, 42, 43, 108, 134, 232, 433
Alexander, Shana, 183, 279
Algonquin Hotel, Clay-GS lunch at, 50–54
Allen, Julian, 94, 102
Allen, Patricia “Dr. Pat,” 362–63, 364, 366, 371, 381, 386, 406, 410–11, 416, 430, 431
Allen, Woody, 98, 238, 246
Alta Bates Hospital (Berkeley, California), GS menopause speech at, 367–68
American Friends Service Committee, 303
American Hotel (Sag Harbor), Ginna-GS lunch at, 455
American Lawyer magazine, 100
Andersen, Kurt, 242
Anderson, Carol, 312–13, 314
Anderson, Walter, 316–17
Angeles (Clay’s housekeeper), 168–69, 174, 177–78, 312
Angelou, Maya, 375
“Annals of Communications” (Auletta column), 94
anti-Semitism, 100
anti-Vietnam war protests, 6, 60
The APF Reporter, 219
Aquino, Cory, 317
Arbus, Diane, 4, 85
Armstrong, Joe, 102
Armstrong, Louis, Memorial Jazz Band of, 447–48
Asia: Clay-GS trip to, 280–83. See also Cambodia; Cambodian refugees; Thailand
Aspen Ideas Festival, 340, 457
Atlantic Monthly magazine, 102
atomic bomb, 24
Audrey (friend), 45, 46
Auletta, Ken, 93, 94, 257, 259, 260, 261, 389
Avon Books, 370, 371
awards/honors, GS’s: bestseller books as, 229–31, 234, 329, 368, 369; and GS as best magazine writer in America, 329; from New York Newswomen’s Club, 10–11, 149; and Patterson fellowship, 219; and Rockefeller Foundation fellowship, 137; for swimming, 18, 19
Aykroyd, Dan, 183
Ayurveda, 346–47
Baer, Tom, 202–3, 273
balance, importance of, 459–60
Baldrige, Malcolm, 325
Baldwin, James, 40
Ballantine Books, 369
bank failures, 93–94
Bantam Books, 230, 370
Barber, David, 323
Barbetta’s (New York City restaurant), GS party at, 368–69
Barrymore, Drew, 156
Bateson, Gregory, 138
Baumgold, Julie, 97, 98
Bay, Robert, 89
Bay Street Theater (Sag Harbor), GS play performed at, 456
Beach Boys, 79
Beale, “Big Edie,” 150–56
Beale, “Little Edie,” 150–56
Beale, Phelan, 153–54
Beame, Abe, 93
Beatles, 73, 76, 79, 190
Beatty, Warren, 323, 324
Beauman, Sally, 207
Beaverbrook, Lord, 186
Bedrick, Muriel, 220
Begin, Menachem, 276
Bell, Greville. See Sheehy, Albert
“Belles of the Bar Car” (Sheehy), 119
Bellows, Jim, 6–7, 8, 13
Benson, Herbert, 408
Berger, Sheila, 314
Bernard, Bina, 314, 454
Bernard, Sarah, 314
Bernard, Walter, 83, 93, 102, 259, 314, 390
Bernice (father’s friend), 21, 43
Bernie, Brother, 141–42, 143
Bernstein, Carl, 176, 179, 226
Bernstein, Felicia, 88–90
Bernstein, Lenny, 88–90
Bert the Turtle (cartoon character), 23–24
The Best Little Boy in the World (Tobias), 95
Big Al (mother’s boyfriend), 108–9, 232, 233
Birdwhistell, Ray L., 184, 191, 193
birth control, Steinem article about, 128
Black, Hillel, 272, 273
Black Panthers, 87, 88–90
Bleek’s Tavern (New York City), Breslin at, 11
Bloody Sunday (Northern Ireland), 157–64, 186, 198, 205, 211, 217, 316
“The Blooming of Margaret Thatcher” (Sheehy), 350
Bloomingdale, Betsy, 6
“Blue Meanie” (copy editor), 216–17
Bobbie (Waldorf Astoria night guard), 139, 143–45
Bogdanovich, Peter, 250
Bolletino, Ruth, 410, 449–50
Boston Phoenix, 226
Boston Women’s Collective, 215
Bosworth, Patricia, 13
Boxer, Barbara, 372
Boyd, Tom, 322
boy’s bloody face, 158–60, 165, 166
Bradlee, Benjamin, 146, 155
Braun, Carol Moseley, 372
Brearley School, Maura at, 203
Brehl, Jennifer, 279
Breslin, Jimmy, 11, 12, 247, 248
Bretano’s (bookstore), GS’s book signing appearance at, 223
Brill, Steven, 100, 254, 259
Bronfman, Edgar, 86
Brown, David, 73
Brown, Helen Gurley, 73, 79, 136, 389
Brown, Patricia Leigh, 330
Brown, Tina: appearance of, 317; Carter as Vanity Fair replacement for, 371; as Clinton supporter, 400; and Daily Beast, 333, 457; and GS as best magazine writer in America, 329; and GS’s Ayurveda sessions, 347; and GS’s menopause work, 359, 365, 368–69; and GS’s political/world leader profiles, 317–18, 321, 323–24, 329, 341, 350, 353–54; GS’s relationship with, 278; and GS’s stories about Hillary, 397; and Palin article, 333; personality of, 317, 397; and revival of Vanity Fair, 316–17
Brown University, Maura at, 292
Bruce, Lenny, 99
Buckley, Christopher, 389
Buckley, William “Bill,” 430–31
Buhai, Suzanna Rosenblatt, 366
Bull, Bartle, 248
Burden, Amanda, 246
Burden, Carter, 246, 247, 248, 252–57, 262
Bush, Barbara, 333
Bush, George H. W., 324–29, 333, 372, 395, 458
Bush, George W., 328
Bush, Jonathan, 325
Bush, Nancy, 325
Byers, Steve, 454
California: Clay-GS move to, 386–91, 392; GS writing stay in southern, 384–86. See also Los Angeles, California; University of California, Berkeley
Cambodia: adoption of children from, 282–83, 292, 293, 294–96, 312; Maura-GS trip to, 306–7. See also Cambodian refugees
Cambodia Crisis Committee, 283
Cambodian refugees: Clay-GS trip to camp for, 283–85; GS-Mohm book about, 308–9; GS writings about, 285, 292, 295; political awareness about, 306–7; tracing program for, 288
Cambridge, Massachusetts: Clay-GS in, 408; as Mohm’s home, 408, 447
Camp David Accords (1978), 276, 277
“Can Couples Survive?” (Sheehy), 184, 185–86, 210
Cancer as Turning Point (LeShan), 410
cancer, Clay’s, 375, 376–77, 406–13, 420, 434–35, 445–46
Capote, Truman, 183, 271
careers, GS predictions about, 70–71
caregiver(s): GS as, 426, 433–37, 439–40; GS’s writings about, 434, 437, 450, 451–52
caricaturists, 101–2. See also specific person
Carnegie Mellon University, writing program at, 451
Caro, Ina, 339
Caro, Robert, 59–60, 337, 339
Carroll, Diahann, 177, 179
Carson, Johnny, 231
Carter, Graydon, 245, 278, 371, 449
Carter, Jimmy, 276, 319, 332
Carter, Rosalyn, 283
Carville, James, 394
Carving Board (Oxford pub), and Clay-GS engagement, 311–12
Cascade Mountains, Kennedy campaign in, 62–63
Castello di Brolio, Clay-GS visit to, 414–15
Catch-30, 137, 218, 224, 227
Catholic Guardian Society, 301
CBS, 64, 160
Center for Mind-Body Medicine (Massachusetts), 408
Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), 351
Century of the Woman, 373
Cerf, Bennett, 68
Chana, General, 299, 300
change: balance in life and, 459; Clinton (Hillary) as representing, 400; “crisis” as, 219; fear of, 212, 399–400; as good, 212; GS views about, 197, 198, 212, 227–28, 459; and objectives
for Passages, 216; Passages as encouraging, 224, 227–28; and stages of development, 219. See also menopause
character: Brown’s comments about, 323–24; GS’s study/writings about, 318–19, 322, 329; of Thatcher, 344. See also political profiles, GS’s
Character: America’s Search for Leadership (Sheehy), 329
Chartoff, Bob, 71
Chasing the Tiger (Sheehy play), 451, 456
Chez Panisse Café (Berkeley), Clay’s Berkeley class dinner at, 387
The Chianti Tales (Murphy-Sheehy musical), 415
Chicago (New York City restaurant), 264, 265
Chicago Tribune, Passages review in, 222–23
Chicago Tribune Book World, 222
children. See Cambodian refugees; mothers/motherhood; specific person
China, Nixon-Kissinger trip to, 174, 178
Chisholm, Shirley, 127
Chota (friend), 113–14, 200
Christian Science, 23, 47
Citizens Exchange Corps, 187
“City Politic” (Steinem column), 98, 130
civil rights movement: Irish, 157; U.S., 5, 47, 58
Claiborne, Craig, 245
Clapton, Eric, 190
Clarkson and Potter publishers, 242–43
Clayburgh, Jill, 149, 451
Clinton, Bill: affairs of, 393–96, 397–98, 400; elections of 1992 and, 393, 397–98, 399; elections of 1996 and, 399–400; favorability ratings of, 402–3; GS interview of, 397–98; Hillary’s relationship with, 396–98, 400, 401, 405; Ickes firing by, 402; impeachment of, 400, 402, 404
Clinton, Hillary Rodham: and Bill’s affairs, 392–95, 396–97, 399; Bill’s relationship with, 395–97, 400, 401; elections of 1992 and, 393; elections of 1996 and, 399–400; elections of 2008 and, 437–39; GS’s research and writings about, 237–39, 393–405; independence of, 401–403; male backlash to, 400; Mandela’s advice to, 400; popularity of, 402; as representing change, 400; reputation of, 401; and Senate, 393, 402–5; social life of, 403; style of, 404–5; supporters of, 339, 439; and winning, 396
Cocker, Joe, 114
Coe, Fred, 232
Cohn, Sam, 210
Coleman, Morton, 381
Colombo, Joe, 95
Columbia Journalism Review, 148
Columbia University: GS at, 87, 126, 137–38, 141; and GS trip to Soviet Union, 187; student protests at, 60, 87–88
