by Ewens, Tracy
“But—”
“Kate, let me finish. I don’t let people in because that’s what works for me. It’s easier and it keeps the parts of me that make me my mother’s son safe. I don’t need to share who I am with the world. It only brings grief and pain. I can’t, I won’t allow it.”
“Then why do these things?”
“Because it’s who I am, it’s where I find my worth, my value. These people, these shelters, or homes, or kitchens, these are real and I feel when I’m there.”
Kate’s breath caught at the reference to feeling. She’d felt for the first time in a long time when she was around him and his foundation did the same thing for him for him. God, they were both messed up.
“If I let the rest of the world into this, if I give that piece of myself to the vultures that hunt me and my family for a sport, if I do that, then they’ll find me and ruin me.”
“But you don’t even let your family in.”
“They wouldn’t understand. They can’t help themselves, they’re part of the machine. The Roads Foundation would become a vehicle for them, a way to jump in the polls.”
“Information like this would win the election for your father. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.”
“If you share this, it will destroy the foundation, our work will be tainted. Don’t you understand? The only real way to give is giving without credit or awards. Otherwise, it’s just bullshit.”
“First, I disagree. Not all philanthropists are anonymous and they still do great work. Bill and Melinda Gates, hello? You’re hiding behind a persona that is completely fabricated and I don’t understand why. It’s as if you think you’re not good enough to be the face of what you are doing. Is that it?”
Grady stood up and started clearing the plates.
“Grady?”
He turned to her with a youthful, lonely look on his face. “I’m asking you not to share this. My father will win this election without the foundation. I need this kept private. It is my right, damn it, to have something private.”
Kate stood up. Grady moved toward the door and grabbed his jacket.
“Can you tell me why? Why you’re not the chairman of the board? Why you are hiding?”
Grady ran his hand over his face and laughed. “Oh, well that’s the million dollar question. I don’t have any answers, Kate. This is what I do, it’s what works for me, and I don’t give a rat’s ass what people think of me as long as I continue to keep this foundation moving on my own terms. Are we done here?”
Kate didn’t know what to say, so she nodded. He held her eyes for a moment and in them was a plea. He looked down and walked out.
Chapter Twenty-One
Three days later, Kate’s oldest brother, Neil, was turning thirty-six. She was still somewhat relaxed from her weekend away, but Grady’s secret, and her promise to keep it, was causing her some angst. Kate was pretty sure an evening spent with her family would finish her off and her time at Santuario del Corazón would be a distant memory. Carrying Neil’s gift, a salad bowl she had asked Reagan to make, and the bag of ice her mother had called and asked her to bring, Kate knocked, and then walked through the front door of her parents’ house. They’d sold the home she and her brothers grew up in and downsized, in anticipation of her father’s retirement. That was almost eight years ago. Kate was beginning to think her father was never going to retire. Her mother kept hinting, but Kate and her brothers agreed that their Dad needed to work. “He would go nuts without the job,” Ethan had said the last time they met for lunch.
Kate heard voices out in the backyard. Sliding the back door open, she braced herself for the full Flanagan family onslaught.
“Katie!” she heard her father and brothers chant. It was a welcome greeting that always made her feel loved.
“You’re late, honey. Just put that ice in the cooler and take a seat. We’re about to say grace for my very first baby boy.” And then there was her mother, Kate thought, as she dropped the ice into the cooler and grabbed a soda.
“Hey, Katie grab me a beer on your way over,” Neil called out.
Kate kissed cheeks around the table and handed her brother a beer.
“Happy birthday, biggest brother,” Kate said as she took her place at the table. She had called Neil her biggest brother since she was a little girl born to two big brothers. As long as she could remember, Ethan was her big brother, or “other brother” as he was often called, and Neil was her biggest brother.
“Thanks, Sis,” Neil said, before the Flanagan family bowed their heads and listened to their mother’s long-winded grace.
“Amen,” they all said in unison, and then the food made its way around to all of them, Kate’s father, both her brothers, her mother and Ethan’s wife, Faith. Ethan and Faith got a babysitter for her niece, Chloe, because at Neil’s request tonight’s dinner would be followed by a family poker game. That was met with some reluctance because the only person who ever left a family poker game with money was Neil, but he was the birthday boy, so Kate’s father broke out his coveted poker chips from Atlantic City, circa 1987.
“How’s work, Katie?” her father asked. “Your mother tells me you were working last Saturday?”
“It was only for a few hours,” Kate said, looking at her mother, who was always looking to stir things up. “I finished a proof review for Mark. He needed a break.”
“Sounds like you need one too, sweetheart. Don’t let those suits run you ragged.”
The potato salad finally reached Kate and she helped herself to a spoonful. “I’m not ragged. It’s just been busy lately with the campaign. Things will settle down after the election.”
“I sure hope so,” her mother couldn’t resist chiming in.
“Neil, does thirty-six feel any different?” Kate asked, trying to change the subject.
“Nah, I still feel twenty-six.” He smiled.
“Still act like it too,” Ethan piped up.
“True,” her mother said, pinching Neil on the arm. “Thirty-six and still no grandchildren for me.”
Kate took a deep breath and let it out very slowly, because she could feel it coming. She could almost recite her mother’s speech word for word. She looked up and shook her head at Neil as her mother delivered.
“I mean isn’t it ridiculous, my son is thirty-six, unmarried and no babies. And then you, Katie. Thirty-two, failed marriage and no babies either. I’ll tell you, I’m not sure what I did to deserve such self-centered children.”
By this point Ethan was smiling and all three of the siblings said the last line of the speech in unison with their mother, “Thank God for Ethan and Faith.”
Kate’s mother huffed and the rest of the table laughed.
Kate got up to get more potato salad off the side table when she heard Ethan say, “Ma, don’t count Katie out just yet, she’s awfully friendly with a certain Mr. Fancy Pants.” Kate turned back to the table just in time to hear Ethan mumble, “I mean, he’s not Nick or anything.”
“What?” she said in a tone that silenced the table, not an easy thing to do in their house.
“Nothing. I’m just joking. He’s definitely different, you know, not like your ex.”
“First of all, I’m not dating anyone, so I’m not sure where you’re getting your information, and secondly,” she tried to clamp down on her anger, but it had been brewing for some time. “Secondly, you are so right. Grady Malendar is nothing like Nick.”
The entire Flanagan family looked up as Kate leaned on the table like some television prosecutor. “He’s better. He’s a better man.”
Neil scoffed for a single beat and Kate lost it.
“Nick cheated on me. Hello? I feel like I’m screaming and no one can hear me.”
“Honey, you are sort of screaming.”
“Yeah, thanks Mom. I’m serious, what is with all of you? He’s a cheater. Nick slept with another woman while we were married. Did it multiple times with someone on the job.”
“Katie, I don’t think we need to rehash all of that right now. It’s your brother’s birthday,” her mother said, reaching for her arm.
“Right. Sorry Neil, but since you all brought it up as part of your usual smart-ass banter, I’m going to finish it.”
Kate could hear her father clear his throat.
She didn’t care. “He cheated, destroyed our marriage. Why is that just brushed under the carpet? What, what does the guy have to do before you take my side on this? He’s a cop, I get it. Who gives a crap? Seriously, there’s more to life than the damn badge.”
Kate felt the punch of that last part reverberate around the entire table and finish with an actual gasp from her mother. Kate was sick of the Grady comments and really, over the Prince Nick routine. She must have hit her mark because the table was silent. Her father cleared his throat again and carefully put his napkin on the table. Kate recognized the gesture as him trying to control his temper.
“Katherine,” her father began, using her full name, another sure sign he was boiling under the surface. “I think we’re just trying to say that you have to look at the company you keep. Whether you respect it or not.” Oh Christ, here we go, she thought. “The fact is you come from a real family, we are cops and we don’t live in the penthouse. You’re the genuine article, we raised you that way.” He looked at Kate. “He’s just . . . not . . . and I, I think we all worry that you’re getting into something you can’t handle. That’s all.” Her father was breathing normally now. “And one more thing. I know that Nick broke your heart. I see it every day and he is not, should not be,” he looked at her mother and her brothers, “an idol in this house. You’re right, he is a cheater, and my family comes well before my badge. If we’ve made you feel any different than that, then I’m sorry.”
“Dad, I’m just trying to—”
“Katie, you’re a grown woman and we respect that. If this guy is someone you want to associate yourself with, then we trust you.”
“It’s my job. Why can’t you guys see this? He’s a client. I deal with these types of people all the time. I don’t get why you’re honing in on Grady.”
Her father smiled at her brothers and they all turned to her.
“What?”
“Whatever you say, honey. Just watch yourself. That’s all we’re saying. You can never really trust a politician.”
“Amen to that!” Kate’s mother chimed in again.
“Yeah, well whatever you’ve got going on with him, the guy wears pastels and that’s just . . . it’s not right,” Neil said. The whole table, including Kate, started to laugh, and she threw her napkin at Neil’s face. His eyes warmed and he smiled at Kate. It was an oldest brother “I’m sorry” smile, and she loved him for it. They were stubborn on a good day, downright cruel on the worst of days, but they were her family. She loved them all and tonight’s conversation was a start. Maybe all it took was speaking up, setting them straight. She was learning.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“We’re all here. Okay, great,” Stanley said, closing the conference room door and looking entirely too pressed and shiny for a Saturday morning. “Thanks for coming down on such short notice, Grady.”
Grady smiled and held up his large paper coffee cup in a toast. It was as much of a gesture as he could muster considering it was five o’clock in the morning. He looked over at Kate, who apparently wore her sexy secretary glasses this early in the morning. His mind replayed other images of Kate, as Grady tried to replace Stanley’s endless droning with something more appealing. Kate climbing up onto the table at the hotel, willingly playing his cereal game. Kate with cotton candy and mustard on her mouth. Kate vigilantly defending him and his character. All the many lovely sides of Katherine Galloway flitted in and out of his consciousness. As the caffeine from his coffee began to hum, Grady tuned back in just as Stanley was asking him a question.
“Grady, I know you’ve done some events with your father in the past, but when was the last time you did any charity, community-type work?”
Kate nearly spit her coffee across the table. Grady patted her on the back.
“It’s been a while. Why? What do you need?”
Kate looked at him. He winked at her and played his part.
“Well, your father was going to speak down at the homeless shelter, The Mission I think it’s called, this afternoon and maybe help them serve dinner, but he’s had a last minute opening with the animal rights conservation crazies, so I’d really rather see him at that.” Stanley had no shame and everyone was fair game. Sure, why not call people who dedicated their lives to protecting those who could not protect themselves “crazies,” why not? As long as the cameras weren’t pointed on him, Stanley pretty much thought everyone was nuts and, dare Grady say, beneath him.
“Happy to do it. Just let me know when and where?” Grady said.
“Okay, can you say a few words while you’re there?”
“I think I can manage that.” Grady smiled and finished up his coffee.
“Kate,” Stanley moved on, “I’ll give you a copy of the senator’s original speech. Make sure Grady covers at least some of the topics. If they’re over his head, just leave them out rather than making it awkward. Got it?”
“Yes, I’m guessing there’s not going to be anything in that speech that’s over Grady’s—”
“Okay,” Grady interrupted, “well, we’ve got to meet with our canvassing group and hit the pavement, so I will be there, Stan.”
“—ley. Stanley, Grady,” Stanley bellowed after them as he and Kate were leaving.
“I don’t give a shit,” Grady said under his breath as they rounded into the hallway on their way to their assigned group of volunteers.
“My God, how do you deal with him?” Kate asked.
“Are you kidding me? You deal with assholes like Stanley everyday. Appease, it’s all about appeasing the stupid. It’s all they know.”
Kate laughed. God, he would stand on his head just to hear her laugh. “Can I quote you on that, Mr. Malendar?”
“Probably best not to. It’s anyone’s race at this point, Kate, anyone’s race,” Grady said, giving her his very best impression of his father.
“You realize he could be right around the corner. That if he heard you, he would know you were mocking him.”
“Kate, it’s before six in the morning. I can guarantee my father is not in this building.” He held the door open for her and they met with a group of people so committed to his father and his father’s policies that they were willing to get out early and spend the morning going door to door drumming up votes. The impact his father had on other people’s lives always amazed Grady. He saw politics as a jumbled mess that accomplished little if anything at all, but when he listened to his father speak, even he believed things were possible. It was a gift, Grady supposed, and as they all loaded into a campaign bus, for the first time in a while, Grady was happy to help.
Kate sat in the bus as Grady and a few older people set out to knock on doors. He really didn’t mind this part, talking with people. Most people were quite fascinating. He walked next to a woman wearing a flowered dress and a big straw hat. Her toes were painted with tiny flags, and she wore the same white comfort sandals his Nana used to wear. She hooked her arm in Grady’s and he shortened his stride to accommodate.
“You look awfully handsome, young man, with your navy slacks and this white shirt. Patriotic, I like it. Is this linen?” she asked, feeling the sleeve of his shirt.
Grady nodded and said, “It is. Good eye. I love your hat, by the way, and speaking of patriotic, did you paint those toenails yourself?”
At his question, she laughed and swatted him. Mavis, that was her name, introduced herself to Grady, and in between knocking on doors and selling his father’s message on community involvement, she told him about her seven grandchildren and her youngest daughter who taught dance in Pasadena. A couple of hours passed, mostly in pleasant conversation with his fellow volunteer
s, or the residents of Whittier who were kind enough to open their doors. There were a few crazy moments, there always were on the door-to-door circuit, but all in all, Grady had a good time. As they climbed back on the bus, he walked Mavis back to her seat and managed to narrowly escape agreeing to take her daughter for drinks. Grady pulled his sunglasses off his face and plopped down in the seat next to Kate. She looked up and handed him a bottle of water.
“I’m sorry you missed that,” he said.
Kate closed her laptop. “I’m sure. Glad you’re back in one piece. Door to door is never easy.”
“It actually wasn’t that bad. I met some friends.”
“I saw that,” Kate said, smiling and waving back at Mavis, who had turned around and was waiving at Grady.
“I’m trying to think of a highlight for you. Let’s see . . . ” Grady took a sip of water and then put the plastic cap back on. “I think I’m going to have to go with the small round gentleman that came to his door sporting a turtleneck, running shorts and boots.”
Kate looked at him through her glasses and started to laugh. He wanted to throw the glasses off and take her right then and there on the bus, but then he remembered Mavis was watching and well, people just didn’t do that on a campaign bus, so he continued.
“Yeah, he’s my pick. I introduced myself and started to do the spiel about community centers and involvement. About three sentences in, he stops me and tells me Senator Malendar is a servant of the devil and if I’m his son then I will rot in hell too.”
They both broke out laughing. Mavis turned around again, but this time she seemed a little bit like a bus driver hushing rowdy children.
“Seriously, at that point what am I supposed to say, ‘Okay, well, thanks for your time, sir. Have a great weekend?’”
Kate’s sides hurt from laughing.
“My God. What did you say?”
“I just backed away and eventually he stopped giving me the death stare and slammed his door.”
“Oh, wow. I can see why that was a highlight.”
They were both hysterical, actually crying at this point, and then Grady’s hand dropped into the hand resting in Kate’s lap and they both stopped laughing. Her hand was cold, small, and before he knew what he was doing, he had taken her hand in his. She didn’t pull back, but instead looked up to the front of the bus and then rested her head back and closed her eyes. They were just there, sitting on a bus holding hands. Grady put his head back too and squeezed her hand just a little, to make sure she was really there.
