The breakfast dishes were in the sink and Jocelyn had just drifted into a nap when there was a knock at the door. They exchanged glances. It had to be Kenny.
“I’ll get it,” Gabe said.
She expected to see Kenny walk into the living room, but instead, she heard Gabe gasp.
“Sam?” he said.
Her head snapped up. Sam was standing in their apartment, staring at her. He looked at the floor, where Jocelyn was napping on a soft blanket.
“What are you doing here?” Carolyn asked, getting to her feet.
“Came to see you and… the baby.”
“Well, you saw us, now go.”
Gabe stood off to the side, arms crossed, ready to fight if need be. She looked to him, pleading with her eyes for help.
Sam stood there, staring at the baby. “I could be a good father,” he whispered.
She took a step closer to Jocelyn, but Gabe was faster. He scooped the sleeping baby into his arms and stepped back. “Not to this baby, you won’t.”
“Sam, please. Just sign the papers so we can be divorced.”
“Why, so you can marry him?” Sam pointed an accusing finger at Gabe.
Carolyn shrugged. “Maybe some day.”
“You’re not wearing a ring. Why are you in such a hurry?”
“I want to move on. Our marriage ended a long time ago. There’s no reason to delay things.”
“You might change your mind. You don’t know. Maybe you won’t like being the little wife to a ball player. He’ll be gone all the time, leaving you with this baby all alone. Is that what you want?”
She nodded. “It is, actually. I’d rather be with Gabe, even if he’s traveling a lot. It’s over with us, Sam. Why can’t you understand that? Let me go.”
Sam tightened his jaw. He looked from Carolyn to Gabe and back. “I’ll be at the motel down the street for the night. But I’m leaving at 10 a.m. You have until then to meet me, then I’m gone forever. I won’t take you back next time, Care. I swear.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “10 a.m. Got it.” Better to let him think she was actually considering it for even a second, than to tell him she’d be relieved when it was 10:01 and he was out of the city.
He turned to leave, but stopped with his hand on the doorknob. “I love you. I just want what’s best for you.”
“I know. Thank you. Bye, Sam.”
“Bye.”
He left and Gabe went to lock the door behind him, using one arm while still cradling Jocelyn in the other.
“I was ready to jump down the fire escape with her if he was going to try to take her,” Gabe said.
“I don’t think he would do that. He wants me, not the baby necessarily. Me and the baby, I guess.”
Gabe wrapped one arm around her and pulled her in so they were in a three-way hug. “Do you think he’ll cause any trouble?”
“I don’t know.” Her voice wavered. “If he’s sober, no, but if he’s drinking? He might do everything he can to destroy my life. I love what we have here, Gabe. I wish he’d just sign the papers already instead of just being there, looming in the background like this beast that could strike at any moment.”
“Me too.” He kissed the top of her head. “And Kenny will be coming any moment. Seems like everyone is trying to tear our family apart.”
“Yeah, it’s all my fault.”
“Don’t say that. We all make bad choices.”
“But mine are affecting us all. I hate it. I hate what I’m doing to you. I know how this must be hurting you because it’s hurting me. I can’t even breathe sometimes, wondering what will happen. If Sam will come and try to pull some legal crap, if Kenny…” She didn’t even want to say the words. Thinking Jocelyn might be Kenny’s was bad enough, twisted her stomach enough. Saying the words right now would make it too real.
“We’ll get through it. I don’t know how, but we’ll figure out a way. I won’t stop until I know we’re all safe and together.”
Carolyn reached up on her toes to kiss him. Then she whispered, “I can’t wait until the six weeks are over. I want you so bad.”
He was instantly hard, but then there was another knock on the door. He growled. “I want you, too,” he said quietly. “So bad.”
She reached down and squeezed him and he moaned. She gave him a half smile. “Better go get the door.”
She took Jocelyn from his arms and he paused before unlocking the door. “Who is it?”
“Kenny.”
He opened the door a crack, then more once he was sure only Kenny stood outside. Who knew if Sam would hang around, lurking.
Kenny stepped inside and stared at Carolyn, wide eyed. “Is that her?”
She nodded.
He inched closer, like he was afraid of her. “Can I hold her?”
Carolyn shifted uncomfortably, but figured it couldn’t do much harm. Gabe had closed the door and stood by it, so it wasn’t like he could take the baby and run off with her.
She handed the baby to him. He reached out clumsily and didn’t support her head enough. Jocelyn woke and started crying.
“Geez, Kenny. Don’t you know how to hold a baby? You have to support their heads.” Carolyn took her back and bounced her until she quieted again. This time, she made him put his arms into a cradle that she placed Jocelyn carefully into. She hovered, ready to catch her if he should drop her.
“I got it,” he snapped.
He was probably embarrassed. He should be. The nerve of him, demanding to come over like this.
“Umm,” Kenny said. His face twisted in disgust.
“What?” Carolyn asked.
“She smells.”
Carolyn rolled her eyes and sniffed Jocelyn’s bottom. Yup. She needed a new diaper.
“I got it.” Gabe took her from Kenny, as much an expert in handling her as he was in handling the ball on the field.
He took her to the changing table shoved against the wall. They really needed a place with more room. Carolyn watched with a smile as Gabe peeled off her old diaper. It was full of poo and the room stunk with it. But Gabe made silly faces at the baby, like he always did, making her wiggle and make happy gurgling noises as he tickled her.
He wrapped the diaper up and Carolyn took it from him, then shoved it into the Diaper Genie. The smell seemed to vanish. That thing really was magic.
She noticed Kenny watching Gabe, who was now smearing a white cream on her bottom before leaning down to blow raspberries on her tummy. She reacted with another little gurgle sound. When she learned how to laugh, this would make her crack up, surely.
Gabe finished and redressed her, then held her on his shoulder, like he’d done this for years. “You want to hold her again?”
Kenny shook his head. “So, how are things?”
“Good,” Carolyn said.
“Is she sleeping all night and everything?”
Carolyn made an incredulous face. “No. Babies usually don’t do that for several weeks or months.”
“Oh.” Kenny looked down at his hands.
“Did you even bother to read a single book on babies?” Gabe asked. “A blog article? Something?”
“Hey man, it’s been busy getting ready for the big game and all.”
“Right. Yet somehow, I found time to read four books about pregnancy, birth, and babies.”
Kenny’s eyes narrowed. “I can learn. It can’t be that hard.”
“You think?”
Gabe handed the baby to him. He took her and got her settled, but still looked uncomfortable holding her.
“You can change the next diaper,” Gabe said. “Or maybe give her a bath, or get up in the middle of the night with her to rock her back to sleep.”
“I would do all that. Carolyn can come stay with me and I’ll do all that.”
“Not a chance,” she said.
“My place is much bigger.” Kenny made a disgusted face as he looked around.
“We’re looking for a new place.” Though it had been goin
g much slower than she thought it would. She suspected that maybe Gabe either consciously or subconsciously was waiting to make sure she was his before he bought a big family house. If it was going to be just him, he would’t need all the room a growing family would.
“When will we find out if she’s mine?” Kenny asked.
Gabe stiffened. Carolyn went to get the envelope. She took out the pieces and read the directions one more time. She did not want to mess this up.
She first swabbed her own mouth, dropping the cotton swab into the baggie marked with her name and zipping it closed. Then, she did Gabe’s and Kenny’s and finally, Jocelyn’s. She tucked everything back into the envelope and sealed it up.
“I’ll send it tomorrow,” she said. “Just takes a few weeks and we’ll know.”
“And then what? You’ll move in with me?” Kenny asked.
“No. Then nothing. Then you’ll know and that’s it.”
“You’ll have to let me see her.”
“I guess we’ll let the lawyers figure that all out,” Gabe said. “I think you’ve stayed long enough.” He reached forward and took the baby back from him.
Kenny glared at him before turning and shutting the door too hard behind him.
Carolyn shook her head. “I must’ve been really drunk when I slept with him. He’s a nightmare.”
“I think he’s gotten worse.”
Carolyn walked over to Gabe and put her hand back on his crotch. His hard-on had faded, but he shifted at her touch.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” he said.
“Who said I won’t finish it? Just because we can’t have sex doesn’t mean we can’t do other things.”
She unzipped his jeans and pulled his erection free.
“Wait,” he said. He placed Jocelyn in her bouncy chair, then turned her so she wasn’t facing them.
“I don’t think she’ll have any idea what’s going on,” Carolyn said. She took him into her mouth.
“Maybe not, but still.” He moaned and let one hand fall to her head, resting there gently. “You’re so good at that.”
She worked him up and down, squeezing and stroking his base as she sucked and licked. He groaned loader until he emptied himself into her mouth. She swallowed and stood to kiss him.
“You’re the best,” he said.
“Not compared to you.”
Chapter 19
Their life had been sailing along, somewhat blissfully in the last weeks. Christmas had been a wonderful time of family and friends and celebrating both the Bear Bowl win and, of course, the new baby. Everyone was overjoyed to meet Jocelyn.
Even Sam had finally relented. The morning after he’d come to see them, there had been an envelope under the door. It was the signed divorce papers. He’d written a note to her explaining how he’d heard their conversation after he left and realized that he couldn’t give her what she wanted and that Gabe was right for her. He wished them both well.
The divorce was now final and things seemed to be getting better and better. In the background, though, this moment had been lurking.
It had taken more than six weeks for the large envelope to make its way back to them. Carolyn had gone out to get the mail that day and now she stared down at it, her hands shaking.
She hurried inside and called out for Gabe. He was lying on his stomach on the floor, playing with Jocelyn. He looked up as she entered the room.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She didn’t have to say anything. She held up the envelope. He got to his feet, his face growing paler by the minute.
He came to her and took it out of her hands.
She expected him to open it. But he set it down on the table and took her hands instead.
“Carolyn, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I think I made this decision a long time ago—no, I know I did, but I had to wait and—” He stopped to take a deep breath. He was shaking and it made her even more nervous. “Things got busy and I had to wait for my first paycheck to clear, and that’s the only reason I didn’t do this sooner. I guess was thinking I had more time. I feel like an idiot now, for waiting, but…”
He got down on one knee and held her hand in both of his.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get a ring. I’ll take you to pick one out and we’ll get the nicest ring we can find. I wanted to do this better. I’m sorry. Time just went so fast—”
“Gabe.”
He closed his mouth and gave her a thin smile.
“Are you trying to propose?” She laughed and so did he.
“I am.” He took in another breath and blew it out in a huff. “I want you to know that no matter what’s inside that envelope, I love you, and I love Jocelyn. Even if she’s not biologically mine, she’s mine. I want to be with you forever, and whether it’s as her father or step father, I want to be in Jocelyn’s forever, too, and however more little beasts we decide to have. Carolyn, will you marry me?”
She hesitated. She chewed on her lip, unsure what to say. She wanted him, of course, but she was sure that no matter what he said, he wouldn’t stick around if the envelope said Jocelyn wasn’t his. She didn’t want to trap him.
“Maybe we should open the envelope,” she said.
“Not until you answer me.” He squeezed her hands. “The results won’t change my mind. Will they change yours?”
She shook her head. “I just don’t want you to feel stuck if—”
“Carolyn. It does not matter whose DNA she has. I want you and her forever.”
“Okay. Then, yes.”
He stood and hugged her tight and kissed her.
“But we need to open the envelope,” she said.
“Let’s get it over with.”
He watched her, his face giving away just how nervous he was. Did her expression look like that, too? Like she was about to throw up? She picked up the envelope again and slid her finger carefully under the flap to open it. She pulled out the paper and read the results.
Carolyn met Gabe’s eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
His shoulders slumped. She thought he was going to cry. “It’s okay. I wish it were different, but nothing has to change.”
He sat down on the floor and picked up the ball he had been rolling to Jocelyn. His smile had gone, though, and he looked to be fighting tears.
“Do you want to go ring shopping later?” he asked. “Might be good to get out and walk around the mall.”
“Gabe, you don’t have to do this.”
He looked up at her. “Do what?”
“You can change your mind. You don’t have to marry me.”
MUNDO (BBW Bear Shifter MC Romance) (MC Bear Mates Book 2) Page 36
