Down on My Knees

by Conley, Samantha

“What?” Shock is written on her features.

  “If it’s not, it’s okay. I’ll still take care of you,” I assure her as she twists out of my arms.

  “How can you even ask me that?” she yells, planting her hands on her hips.

  “You said you just found out. Don’t women usually know the next month when they don’t have their period?” I run my hand across the back of my neck.

  “Jesus, Isaac. It does happen that way, but the birth control I was on stopped my periods a long time ago. I didn’t have one to miss because that’s normal for me.”

  “How far along are you?”

  “Around four months.” Four freaking months. Since the last time we were together was in August, it makes sense.

  “That makes you due in…” My math skills desert me as I try to subtract.

  “May.”

  “That makes sense.”

  “What does?”

  “You asked me to be home in May yesterday.”

  “I did? I don’t remember that.” Her brow furrows as she tries to remember.

  “It was right before you fell asleep on me yesterday.” Kneeling in front of her, I place my hand on her lower abdomen. “Hey there, little one. I’m your daddy. I can’t wait to meet you.” My lips brush the slight swell of her belly, and Camryn’s hands clutch my hair as a sob breaks free.

  Standing up, I grip her arms. “What? Did I hurt you?”

  As she shakes her head no, I draw her to me, her head resting on my chest.

  “I’m so stupid, Isaac. I’ve been scared to death to tell you, thinking the worst, and here you are, being like this.”

  “Like what?”

  “Just taking it in stride. Not getting pissed off or thinking I did this on purpose.”

  Placing my hands on either side of her face, I raise her gaze to mine. “This baby ties you to me for the rest of my life, Red. How in the world could I be mad about that? There is a piece of you and me growing safely inside you.” Lowering my mouth, my lips brush across hers.

  “You want to see a picture?” She smiles up at me.

  “A picture, really?”

  “It’s the sonogram I had in the hospital. Come on, it’s in my purse back in my room.” She tugs my hand as she heads toward our villa.

  “Camryn, now may not be the time, but where does this leave us?” I sidle up beside her, and she wraps her arm around mine before twining our fingers. The sound of the ocean lapping at the beach and the distant music in the background fill the silence between us.

  “I’m still scared, Isaac.” Her voice is so soft, it’s nearly carried away on the breeze. “But I want to try. I’ve missed you so much.” When she looks up at me, one fat tear spills over her lower lashes, creating a silvery track down her face.

  “Don’t cry. I’ve missed you too.”

  “It’s these damn hormones. I cry at the drop of a hat.”

  I wipe the tear away with my thumb. “Come on. We’ll talk later. I want to see my baby.” I can’t contain the excitement in my voice.

  Lying in her bed, Camryn is asleep on my chest, our legs tangled together, while I stare at the black and white print out of our baby. Our baby. I’ll never say that enough. I keep expecting to wake up and find out all of it is a dream. Well, if it is, please, Lord, don’t let me wake up.

  Isaac

  “Hey, Red, did you know the nugget is now the size of a cantaloupe?” I holler out as I read from out pregnancy book. Never thought that would ever happen, but ever since I found out about our nugget, I’ve been reading and researching everything.

  “A cantaloupe, huh?” She rounds the corner into the kitchen where I’m sipping coffee. When she sees me, she comes to a complete stop, a look of betrayal on her beautiful face. “How dare you bring that in my house!”

  “What?”

  “Coffee! That’s just mean, Isaac. Can I take a whiff?” she asks, her eyes not leaving my coffee.

  “Red,” her gaze moves up, “it’s decaf. You can have some. I went and got you creamer this morning too.” Her eyes light with excitement before she turns to the refrigerator. Pouring her a small cup, I push it across the granite counter toward her. When she reaches for her cup, her shirt pulls taught across her belly, showing the swell where my baby is resting. Since all her morning sickness has fled, she’s enjoying food again, and apparently, so is Nugget. Her belly is pooching out now, seemingly overnight.

  While her concentration is centered on her coffee, I sidle up behind her and cup her belly with my hand, hoping to feel Nugget move even though it’s too early. Placing a kiss on her shoulder, I stand there savoring the moment.

  “You sleep okay?”

  “I guess. You?”

  “You were cuddled up next to me all night. I slept great,” I whisper against her neck. “What time do we need to leave?”

  Looking over at the clock, she squeaks out, “Shit! Half an hour. I need to finish getting ready.” After one more drink of coffee, she hustles off.

  The waiting room at an ob-gyn office is rather off-putting for a man. Women of all ages sit sporadically around the room, each giving me a look when I walk in with Camryn. There is only one other male in the sea of women, sitting next to a heavily pregnant woman with his head buried in a magazine. After what seems like an eternity, Camryn’s name is called, and we are ushered back behind a heavy wooden door.

  “Have a seat, Ms. Kirkpatrick. I need to get your vitals. Then we’ll get you weighed and a urine sample.”

  While the nurse pokes and probes, I scan over the posters hanging on the wall before we’re led to a room where Camryn is told to strip and put on a paper gown.

  “A paper gown, really? What can’t they afford real ones?”

  “I’ve never thought about it. They’ve always been paper no matter where I go,” she replies from behind the privacy curtain. When she pulls back the curtain, I nearly laugh at how ridiculous she looks where the ugly brownish pink paper sack. As she walks over to the table, she clutches the front with both hands.

  “Do you have that on backward?”

  “No, it’s supposed to open in the front. It’s easier for her to check my stomach.”

  A subtle knock on the door precedes a tiny, older lady with a young blonde woman trailing behind her. “Knock, knock. Camryn, how are you today, my dear?”

  “I’m feeling great, Dr. Hood,” she replies with a soft smile, her hand placed on her belly.

  “Wonderful. And who is this handsome devil?” Dr. Hood asks as she reaches a hand out to me. I clasp it.

  “Isaac. Good to meet you.”

  “Good to meet you too, Isaac. Sarah didn’t make it this time?” she asks with a secretive smile directed at Red.

  “Not this time,” Camryn replies with a chuckle as Dr. Hood walks over to the sink and washes her hands.

  “All of your vitals look great. And your weight is right where it needs to be. Are you having more issues with morning sickness?”

  “Not lately.”

  “Good. How’s your diet? Any cravings?”

  “I’ve been trying to eat healthy stuff. No real cravings per se, but I’m missing my coffee.”

  “You can have some decaf. Just not to drink all day or anything like that.” When Camryn shoots her gaze to me, so does the doctor. I can’t help the grin that stretches my face.

  “You’re welcome, Red.” I give her a wink.

  “He got you coffee?”

  “Decaf. I nearly bit his head off this morning for drinking coffee before he told me it was decaf.” She states, shamefaced

  “Sounds like he’s taking good care of you then.

  Now let’s get you checked over. Heels in the stirrups and scoot your bottom down to the edge of the table,” Dr. Hood says as she snags a pair of gloves out of a box.

  “Isaac, up here by my head, please.”

  “It’s not like I haven’t seen it before.” I let out an exaggerated sigh before moving toward the head of the table.

  “It’s a
little different.”

  The paper blanket rustles as Camryn gets into position. When it finally dawns on me exactly what the doctor is doing by the slight grimace on Camryn’s face, I’m glad I’m not seeing some else’s fingers going inside the place I consider mine. After a minute or two, the doctor scoots back on her little rolling stool, peeling the gloves off her hands.

  “Everything feels fine. Baby is locked in there tight. Any spotting or abnormal discharge?”

  Spotting? Discharge? What the hell?

  “No, nothing like that.”

  “And how’s sex going?”

  If I had been taking a drink, I would have sprayed it everywhere.

  “No problems that I’ve noticed. Isaac was worried at first, but he seems to have gotten over it.” Camryn blushes.

  “Good. Isaac, you have nothing to worry about. As long as the pregnancy progresses normally, you can have sex up until the birth. But you two will have to find positions that work as the pregnancy advances. When the baby starts getting bigger, certain positions will be uncomfortable for you, Camryn.” She stands, raises Camryn’s gown over her belly, and feels around. “All right, let’s get your sonogram done. I know we just did one last month, but I’d like to get another just to make sure we are on the same timeline. And we may get a peek at if it’s a boy or girl. Or do you want to keep it a secret?”

  I look down at Camryn to see her chewing on her bottom lip as if trying to decide.

  “It’s up to you, Red. Do you want to know?” I whisper

  “I think I want to—no, I don’t want to know. This whole pregnancy has been a surprise so far. Let’s keep it that way until the end.”

  “Sounds good to me. I love surprises.” Leaning down, I place a kiss on her forehead. When my gaze meets hers, her eyes are shining.

  “Are you sure?” When I nod my assent, a smile lights up her face.

  “All right then. If I do see anything, I’ll keep the news to myself. If you decide to do one of those gender reveal parties or anything, I can give the information to the appropriate person.”

  Dr. Hood squirts some thick, gloopy stuff on Camryn’s belly before placing a white probe on the lower part of her abdomen. After a few tentative passes, she points at the screen, identifying the head, arms, and legs. When she turns on the volume, a fast whoosh fills the room, and I feel like my heart stops.

  “And that’s your baby’s heartbeat.”

  A gentle squeeze of my hand draws my attention from the screen to Camryn. “You okay?”

  The look of concern on her face makes me realize tears are dripping down my face. “I’ve never been better in my life, Red,” I reply, my voice hoarse. “Thank you for this gift.”

  “Baby looks perfect, you two. And the baby was not cooperative, so I don’t know the gender. I’ll do one more sonogram later if you decide you want to find out. All right, Camryn, you can get dressed, and I’ll see you back next month. Have you had your glucose tolerance test yet?”

  “Not yet,” Camryn replies, wrinkling her nose. Dr. Hood laughs.

  “It’s not that bad. I’ll get it scheduled before you leave today. You both have a lovely day. Isaac, it was nice meeting you. I hope to see you again before the birth. And if either of you have any questions, feel free to call the office.” With a parting smile, she sweeps out of the room, the blonde nurse holding the door open for her.

  Waking up, I feel something pushing into my abdomen. I look over to see Camryn snuggled up next to me, her burgeoning belly pressed tightly to my side. When the push comes again, realization dawns. My little nugget is moving around. Just a week ago, I got to feel Nugget moving in Camryn’s belly and finally felt like a part of the club. Camryn had been enjoying the movements only she could feel for a few weeks before that. Glancing at the clock, it’s a little after six in the morning. I extract myself from under her arm and belly, doing my best not to disturb her sleep. Lately, she has had the hardest time sleeping, and I know it has to do with Nugget wanting to do gymnastics at night. Leaning over, I place a kiss on her belly where her shirt has ridden up.

  “Nugget, you settle down and let your momma get some sleep,” I whisper.

  Sitting down in front of my laptop, I sip on my full octane coffee and decide to scope out the local real estate. I’ve practically moved in with Camryn after we returned from Bora Bora, but this house isn’t big enough for us, a baby, and the office occupying her second bedroom. When she let her bosses know she would need maternity leave, they bent over backward to make sure she would come back and are allowing her to work from home several days a week. Hell, even on the days she goes into the office, she’s only there a few hours before they send her home.

  After scanning hours of listings, I hear her stirring in the bedroom. I jump up and hit the brew button on her Keurig as she shuffles her way into the kitchen, stomach leading the way, eyes half open and hair a tangled mess. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

  “Morning, love.” I smile at her, but she doesn’t even acknowledge my presence, her focus centered on her favorite coffee cup and slippered feet swishing across the hardwood floor. Smiling, I grab her creamer out of the refrigerator and place it on the counter next to her. Her single cup of coffee a day has become a lifeline with her insomnia even if it doesn’t have any caffeine.

  Her sigh at the first sip makes me laugh, which I quickly shut off when she sends me a death glare over the top of her cup. Leaving her alone, I go back and sit on the couch. Checking the next listing, the cushion next to me depresses before she leans her head on my shoulder.

  “Good morning. I didn’t keep you up last night, did I?”

  “Slept like a log.” No, I didn’t. I woke every time she had to adjust before she got comfortable, but there’s no way I’m telling her that.

  “I’m glad. What are you looking at?” she asks, then takes another sip of her coffee.

  “Houses.”

  “Houses? For who?”

  “Us. I think we need a bigger house. Once the baby gets here, you won’t have your office space. And if you’re going to get to work from home after your maternity leave, you need a space for all your stuff.”

  “A house?” she asks, shell-shocked.

  “Yes, Red.”

  “That’s a big commitment, Isaac.”

  “Like having a baby isn’t?” I chuckle.

  “It’s not funny. What if you get tired of playing house? Will you kick me out? Or you leave, and I’m stuck with a mortgage I can’t afford?” Her words pour out faster and faster, her breathing rapid. Reaching over, I pull the cup out of her death grip and place it on the table.

  “Breathe, Red. Deep breaths. That’s it. In. Out.” I place my hands on her shoulders, my thumbs grazing the pounding pulse in her neck. After a few minutes, she calms down.

  “Now, what brought that on?” I ask with a small smile.

  “Oh God, Isaac, I’m sorry. It just all hit me at once, and I panicked.”

  “This is not something I’m going to do on my own. You need to be in this with me one hundred percent. We’re a team. I’m not going to suddenly change my mind, Red. I love you too much for that.” I reach up, cupping her face in my hands, forcing her gaze to stay on mine.

  “Wait, what? You love me?” She looks at me dumbfounded.

  “Of course, I do. How could you not know that?”

  “You’ve never said it!” Her voice becomes a high-pitched squeak.

  “Well, I’m saying it now. I love you, Camryn. I have loved you for months, and I will love you until my dying day. The only thing I could possibly love more in this world is that piece of me you’re carrying inside you right now. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  “Oh, Isaac,” she breathes out before pushing me over onto the couch. Her tears soak my shirt, and my anxiety starts to rise.

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it back.”

  “What?” She sniffles.

  “If you don’t love me, it’s ok
ay. I just hope one day you will.”

  “You really are dense sometimes, aren’t you?” she asks, her eyes shimmering. “I think I fell in love with you the first night we met.”

  “Wait, what?” Now it’s my turn to stammer as I absorb her words.

  “I love you too, Isaac. So much, it scares me sometimes.”

  Our lips meet in a fierce kiss, and I sweep her into my arms. She puts up a token protest, but I silence her with another kiss. Kicking the door farther open, I lower her until her feet touch the carpeted floor before working the unbuttoned pink shirt off her shoulders, leaving her only in a white camisole and yoga pants. I trail my lips down her neck to her shoulder, sliding the white strap off her shoulder. My lips graze her chest until her nipple pops free of the constraining material. She lets out a low moan when I draw the hardened tip into my mouth, her hands clenching in my hair and tugging. Reaching up, I pull down the other strap, baring both breasts to my hungry gaze. Switching to her neglected nipple, I pay it the same attention, her hands clutching me to her chest.

  “Isaac,” she breathes out on a moan, “please.”

  A Cheshire grin crosses my face as I push the material down over her protruding belly and hook her pants and underwear before shoving them past her hips. She steps out of the material as it pools around her feet, hands clinging to me to keep her balance. Backing her toward the bed, I lean her back before kneeling in front her splayed thighs. I work my shoulders in between her legs, opening her further to my gaze. Tracing her seam with my finger, I gather some of her wetness before sucking it from my finger. Her syrupy sweetness coats my tongue, making me hungry for more. My tongue laps her dripping hole to her clit, and back down again, before focusing on that hard, little nub peeking out. Her thighs tremble around my ears, telling me she’s close. I don’t know what it is about being pregnant, but the slightest touch can set her off like a rocket. I and push two fingers into her tight channel as she comes apart, a delighted cry leaving her mouth.

  Shoving my pants off my hips, my cock bobs before I move back between her thighs. I plant my hands on either side of her hips, levering myself off her stomach. The head of my dick kisses her opening, bathing in her juices before I ease into her still clenching pussy. Shallow thrusts have her writhing against me, little whimpers escaping her pouty lips. When her legs wrap around my hips, I give her what she wants, and thrust into her, hard, and ride her as rough as I dare, her fingers digging into my forearms as screams out her release. Her orgasm triggers mine, and I spill into her hot depths, spurt after spurt draining away my energy as I slump over to her side. My hand rests on her belly as Nugget starts moving around, causing Camryn to laugh, until she gets a foot in the ribs.