by Cat Johnson
It was an old photo. Just the corner of it peeked out from beneath a Chinese food takeout menu but she knew immediately what it was of. The bottom of the yellow dress was too familiar for her not to recognize it.
Shuffling things out of the way, she pulled out the picture and saw herself, twenty-five years ago, smiling so her mother could finish the roll of film before the prom.
Her father had kept this picture of her all these years?
Though, she shouldn’t be surprised. It seemed he kept everything.
Her curiosity piqued, she dug further and found the program from her graduation ceremony. And in its folds, the tassel from her cap.
The drawer was like a time capsule and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that trip back into the past quite yet. She shoved the items back in and closed the drawer.
Out of sight, out of mind. She could live with that.
Moving toward the spot where she’d left her purse on the countertop, she rummaged through. She found a pen and a scrap of paper to write on and scribbled down a couple of things she needed.
As she wrote, she realized how sweaty and disgusting she felt. Thank God she’d had the foresight to tackle the bathroom before she’d started on the kitchen. There was no way she’d have the energy to clean the shower stall now.
The cool water on her skin did much to wash away the heat of the day along with the dirt. She’d thrown in a load of laundry earlier, too, so she had clean towels for her shower, and fresh bedding for later—wherever she decided to sleep.
She wasn’t sure she could stand being in her old bedroom. Certainly not in her father’s bedroom.
The sofa in the living room might have to do, but she hadn’t started cleaning out that room yet. Just knowing the clutter was there might keep her awake in spite of the over-the-counter sleeping pills she’d bought.
Then again, maybe she was too damn tired to care about anything. She felt the bone-deep weariness settle over her now that she was clean and dressed in a T-shirt and soft cotton shorts. She could probably sleep on top of the piles of old newspapers in the living room and not even notice.
Being busy was a good thing. Being busy had kept her mind off the strangeness of her homecoming. Kept her mind off the bad things and the good things—like coincidentally running into Rohn.
What the heck was she going to do about him? Nothing. That’s what. She’d rent his truck, clean this place out, and then head back to the life she’d built for herself in Arizona. There was nothing else for her to do.
She was on her way into the kitchen to get some cold water to take the sleeping pills with when she heard a knock on the front screen door. She jumped at the sound and then heard the deep, masculine, “Hello?”
The sun had set a while ago, and in hindsight, she probably should have closed and locked the front door long before now, but that was less of a concern to her than who stood silhouetted in the doorway.
If she hadn’t recognized the voice, she would have recognized his height, and the cowboy hat she’d seen earlier that day.
“Rohn. Come on in.” When had her voice gotten so breathless?
It became apparent that keeping things just friends between her and Rohn was going to be an issue, judging by how her heart pounded at the sight of him at her door. Especially if he made a habit of dropping in unannounced while she was dressed for bed.
“You sure?” He pulled the screen door open and popped just his head in. “I don’t want to disturb you.”
She let out a short laugh. There were many other things to disturb her in this house. Rohn would just be one more. “It’s fine. Come on in . . . as long as you don’t mind the mess.”
Bonnie had momentarily forgotten about the state of the house. She couldn’t forget now as she watched Rohn’s gaze sweep the clutter in the room. He came all the way in and let the door slam closed behind him. “Looks like you got your work cut out for you here.”
“Yes, it does.” She glanced at the brown paper bag in his hand. “What have you got there?”
He flashed her that grin that had won her heart so many years ago. “Ice cream.”
She couldn’t help the wide smile as good memories for a change bombarded her. “What flavor?”
“Strawberry cheesecake.” He watched her closely, waiting for her reaction to that information.
How could she not react? After all these years he’d remembered she loved that flavor. The place in town had served it that summer as their seasonal special.
The mist of nostalgia clouded her vision in the form of unshed tears. “Thank you.”
Rohn’s brows drew down. “What’s wrong?”
He put the bag down on top of a stack of newspapers and came to her. He ran one hand up and down her arm. His kindness in light of how she’d left, what she’d done, broke her.
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired.”
“I should go.” His voice was soft, gentle. That, in combination with the mingled concern and heat in his eyes when he looked at her, had her insides twisting.
“No. Stay. I’m fine. Just silly and nostalgic.”
“You were never silly. And sometimes nostalgia is a good thing.” He raised his hand to brush it across her cheek, lingering just long enough for her to feel the warmth of his touch against her skin.
God, she was going to crack. His kindness would break her. In the face of all she’d done, his being sweet would surely do her in.
He dropped his hand away from her face. “You wanna eat that ice cream before it melts?”
Bonnie breathed in relief. She’d needed his hand off her so she could get herself together.
“Okay.”
Feeling his touch was too bittersweet for her to deal with. Going to the kitchen to grab spoons would provide a much-needed distraction. She led the way and he followed her.
“Wow. This room is a hell of a lot different from that one.” He hooked a thumb in the direction of the living room.
While pulling open the utensil drawer, filled with cutlery she’d run through the dishwasher just today, she glanced back at him. “I spent a good couple of hours in here.”
“It shows.”
“Thanks.” She carried two spoons over to him. “Let me get two bowls.”
He grinned wide. “Nope. I want to eat it right out of the container the way we did that night we picked up a pint and ate it in my truck by the river. Okay with you?”
“Yeah. It’s fine. Do you want to sit in here and eat? Or outside?” she asked.
A sly smile tipped up the corner of his mouth. “We’d better stay inside. I remember the last time we shared a pint of ice cream outdoors.”
Bonnie drew in a breath, pulled out a kitchen chair, and sat, but had no comment. She remembered, too. They’d ended up making love in the back of his pickup overlooking the river. After the first time, that was what they did every chance they could get alone.
Rohn reached into the bag and emerged with a familiar white pint container with the flavor scribbled on the lid in red marker.
She smiled. “I see things haven’t changed much.”
He pulled the other chair closer to hers and then sat. “Nope. Same except for the price. And that, like most everything over the years, has doubled.” Rohn pried the lid off and let out a low, grumbling, “Mmm. It’ll be well worth it, though.”
Getting over her discomfort at being around him again, Bonnie reached out and took a scoop off the top with her spoon.
Creamy and cold, the flavor she remembered from her youth filled her mouth. Taste buds definitely had a memory. Hers remembered enjoying this treat like it was yesterday. “Mmm. You’re right. It’s exactly like it was back then.”
He scooped himself a mouthful. “And soft and half melted.”
“Just the way I like it.” She smiled and grabbed another big spoonful.
“I know.” Rohn laughed and scooped more for himself.
That had been a debate between them that night they’d shared the pint in his
truck. How she could prefer to eat the ice cream when it was so melted it was almost liquid, while he liked it firm and solid right out of the freezer.
Maybe this was good, easing back into getting used to each other again so they could be friends. She glanced up and caught him watching her, his eyes focused on her tongue as she licked off her spoon.
Her heart twisted with an unrealistic hope that they could be more than friends. Parts lower twisted as well, with a need, a desire, long banked.
If only . . .
“So, how are the bedrooms?”
Bonnie whipped her attention to Rohn at that question just when she’d been thinking about sex. “The bedrooms?”
“Yeah. I’m assuming you’re planning on sleeping here tonight, but if the bedrooms are in the same condition as the living room . . .” His lifted his dark brows, which were beginning to show a bit of gray, and let the sentence trail off.
On Rohn the touches of silver looked sexy. She wrestled her mind back to the question. “The bedrooms are pretty bad. I figured I’d sleep on the couch in the living room.”
“Uh, the living room’s pretty bad, too.”
Dipping her head in a nod, she couldn’t deny the truth of that. Rohn had seen the shambles with his own eyes. “It is. I’ll be okay.”
A frown creased Rohn’s forehead. “Come stay with me.”
She paused with ice cream in her mouth and her empty spoon in midair. She swallowed. “What?”
“Just for tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll loan you my guys. You can get this place cleaned up and sleep in your old bed tomorrow night.”
The last thing she wanted to do was sleep in her old bed, only second to sleeping in Rohn’s house and all the feelings that would raise, but she couldn’t tell him any of that. “No.”
No, to everything. To spending the night under Rohn’s roof with all the emotions pinging around inside her. To him loaning her his employees to help her. Definitely no to sleeping in her old bedroom.
“Why not? It makes sense. Besides, it’s hot as blazes in here. Is the A/C broken? Do you want me to take a look at it—” He was in the process of standing when Bonnie stopped him.
“It’s not broken. I turned it off. I wanted the windows open . . . to air the place out.”
He nodded. “Understood.”
It was a good excuse. A place that looked this cluttered would need airing. Rohn didn’t need to know it was the demons haunting her that had Bonnie throwing open the windows and doors the moment she’d gotten inside.
“I still don’t think there’s any reason for you to sleep here tonight. I have two empty guest bedrooms at the ranch.”
“No, Rohn.” She shook her head to emphasize how adamant she was about her decision. “But thank you. I appreciate the offer.”
He paused, watching her before he nodded. “A’ight. I won’t push. But if you change your mind, or need anything at all, day or night, here’s my number.”
Her shopping list was on the table. He picked up the pen she’d left there, tore off a piece of the paper bag, and scribbled his number. Handing it to her, he said, “Promise you’ll call if you need me.”
“I promise.” Her heart swelled with what could have been. What never could be.
How could any man be so damned sweet? Just as her taste buds had remembered the flavor of the ice cream, her heart remembered what it had felt like to love Rohn. Or at least what her eighteen-year-old self had thought was love.
“You want any more of this?” He tipped his head toward the ice cream they’d both stopped eating.
“No, thanks. I’m good.”
He nodded and reached for the cover. “It’ll make a nice cool snack for you tomorrow while you’re working.” He moved to the fridge and pulled open the freezer door, before glancing back at her. “I see there’s plenty of room.”
She cringed as he put the pint container into the completely bare freezer. “I tossed everything. I didn’t know how old it was. I’m planning on going shopping tomorrow.”
Rohn slammed the door closed and came back to her. “Then that ice cream might end up being breakfast.”
“I wouldn’t mind that one bit.” Bonnie smiled.
“No. I know you wouldn’t.” He laughed. “I’m going to go so you can get to bed—or to the sofa . . . If you can find it.”
“I’ll be fine.” She followed him through the living room and to the front door.
Rohn turned as he reached for the knob. “Last chance for a comfortable bed and nice cool A/C.”
“Thank you, but I’m good here.”
“Yeah, I had a feeling you’d say that. A’ight. I’ll see you soon. Borrow that truck anytime you need.”
Glancing around, she let out a short laugh. “I think I’m going to need to take you up on that offer.”
“I hope you do.” Cupping her face with his palm, he leaned down and pressed a soft, quick kiss to her cheek. “Good night, Bonnie Blue.”
Barely able to breathe after even that brief, chaste kiss, she managed to say, “G’night, Rohn.”
Summer, 1990
It was like a dream but it was very real. In the darkened movie theater, Rohn was actually kissing her.
Her first real kiss.
She’d never admit it to him, but except for a quick game of spin the bottle in eighth grade during a birthday party, she’d never been kissed.
How pitiful was that?
This kiss made up for the delay. For all the years she’d waited for it. It was perfect.
Bonnie couldn’t wrap her head around any of it, but maybe that was better. She didn’t want to think. Only to feel.
She wanted to memorize every single nuance of this moment so she could relive it over and over, because who knew if it would ever happen again?
There was stubble on his upper lip that scratched her skin. She loved the feel of it. It was a very real reminder that she was really kissing him and not just imagining it.
He tasted like gum. She realized he must have been chewing it, until he pulled away from the kiss, spit the gum on the floor, and then came back to her. This time he turned in his seat so he was angled toward her, like he was settling in for a long kiss. She hoped he was.
The theater was dark, but they were by no means invisible, even in their back corner. Anyone who was looking closely enough would see them, but she didn’t care. She would kiss him in broad daylight, if he wanted. She’d do pretty much anything this boy wanted her to do. Anything at all.
He brought his hand up and cupped her face, before he slid his fingers beneath her hair to cradle the back of her head. He held her close, pressing her mouth tightly against his.
Rohn leaned back just a bit. “Your hair is so soft.”
Nervous, she forced a smile. “Thank you.”
She didn’t have to say more. His mouth was back covering hers. His hand remained tangled in her hair, his fingers moving in a slow massage against her head that had her scalp tingling from his touch.
He ran the tip of his tongue along the seam of her lips, gently at first, before thrusting it into her mouth. Just because she’d never done this before didn’t mean she didn’t know about French kissing. She knew enough to open her mouth and let him take over.
The kiss got more intense. He leaned his whole body in closer as if he would love to crawl into the seat with her if they’d been anywhere else.
He plunged his tongue into her mouth, stroking it against hers. She’d liked the soft, closed-mouth kisses before but this was a whole new level of kissing.
Judging by Rohn’s reaction, including the increase in his breathing, he liked it, too. She liked knowing that.
Finally, he pulled away. He watched her for a couple of seconds before he leaned close to her ear. “We better cool it for a little while.”
Cooling it was the last thing she wanted to do but she agreed. “Okay.”
The guy who came into the theater to check on things with his flashlight would be coming through eventually, anyway.
She didn’t need him to see them making out. Then there was the fact this was a two-hour movie. Rohn had gone from calm to panting for breath in a matter of moments. A hundred and twenty more minutes could do untold things to him.
He turned in his seat to face the screen, but reached into her lap to pick up her hand. She liked the feel of his big, rough hand holding hers. She felt warm and held, and as if he would be there for her no matter what, protecting her.
They could face anything together, as long as he held on to her. She loved that idea. She could love Rohn.
Heck, she was afraid she already did.
Rohn didn’t kiss her again for the rest of the movie. He did move his arm around her shoulders and pull her closer to him before he rested his head against hers.
The move felt as intimate as a kiss. Like he was claiming her. As if he wanted everyone to know she was his.
Was she? He’d told her this was a date and kissing him had made it feel like one, but was it more? Was she his girlfriend now? She didn’t have the nerve to ask, but she could hope.
The closing credits rolled up the screen, but Rohn didn’t get up. Neither did she. He waited until the lights had been turned on and the theater was emptying before he turned to her. “You wanna go out for ice cream?”
“Um . . .” Yes, she wanted to go out for ice cream, but she was also worried about getting home late, especially since she’d lied to her parents about who she’d be with tonight.
He waited for her answer and she decided to at least explain her hesitation. She didn’t want him assuming it was him she objected to.
“Do you know what time it is? I just don’t want to get home too late.”
He glanced at the watch on his wrist. “It’s eight forty. The movie wasn’t even two hours long.” He looked up at her. “What time did you promise your parents you’d be home?”
“I didn’t say.”
“Do you want to call home from the pay phone in the lobby? I have some change in my pocket you can use.”
“No, it’s okay.” She didn’t need her mother asking any questions she wasn’t prepared to answer. “It’ll be fine. We can go get ice cream.”
