by J. S. Lynn
I pulled my hair up and looked at my face. I had never been “the other woman”. The girl who cheated on her boyfriend or the girl who guys cheat on with while they were with their girlfriend. Wait, but Jeff didn’t have a girlfriend. He had a boyfriend. Brian. Brian who he lived with and they had been dating for years. Maybe they weren’t that serious. Does this mean Jeff was still gay? Did I turn him straight? I put my hands over my face. I was so confused. I didn’t know what to do. Caroline had told me to drink and have more fun. And that’s what we did, right? We were having fun.
“Jeff!” I yelled at him. He was laying in Caroline’s bed too, obviously hung over. When he woke up, he looked confused and then he seemed to remember events in the night.
“Betsy? Did we…we were together, weren’t we?”
I smiled, a tired but flirty grin. “Yeah, I said. It looks like it. Do you remember it at all?”
“Kind of,” he said. “I remember us dancing together and then I took you upstairs. We didn’t do anything did we?”
I paused. I tried to remember the night as much as I could. My under garments weren’t off and my dress had only fallen off my shoulder. I smiled at him. I remembered us kissing, the blur of the night, the feeling of it being right. I remember the butterflies I felt, the memories of us at the beach. The feeling of us being together. Him kissing my shoulder and our lips touching. “I remember some of it too,” I said. “I don’t think we did anything serious, though.”
“Oh, good,” he said getting up. “I didn’t mean to cheat on Brian. I do not want him to know about this.” He seemed to be getting mad now. “We are living together!”
“Yes, I know.” I paused. Was he also attracted to girls? He must have been attracted to me though, or we wouldn’t have hooked up or gotten together at the beach.
“I have to go,” he said before he could say anything more and ran out of the room, not saying anything else. I stood there, feeling kind of empty. My heart sank. What now? What would I tell Caroline? Was he mad at me?
*****
I glanced at the clock in Caroline’s room. It was blinking 12:30 in the afternoon. I had been lying on her bed, thinking of the previous night and what happened. I couldn’t help but feel some feelings for Jeff. Did he feel those for me too? I looked in the bag I packed at Caroline’s house. It was a black bag with some clothes I had brought and a few other things. I saw a wrapped gift. It was the gift I meant to give to Caroline last night. I wanted to give it to her before the party got wild, before people came.
I held the fuchsia wrapped gift with a pink bow on it. It wasn’t much. It wasn’t something fancy like the nice necklace Caroline gave me, but I thought it would mean something to her. I went up to give it to her. I had no idea where Caroline was or what she did last night. We hadn’t seen each other that much at all that night. Did the party get even more wild? Did anything bad happen? As I walked out in the hallway, I noticed there were a couple people still there, walking out and some people passed out. Most people were gone though.
I stood on the stairs and looked down. To my surprise, Caroline was in the living room with a big trash bag. She was picking up stuff and straightening up her house. Usually, this was my job, but it seemed Caroline was doing everything herself. She was still wearing her dress from last night, but she wasn’t passed out or looking completely hung over. I went down to her.
“Caroline!” I said.
She looked up at me. She didn’t smile. She started picking up stuff from a table.
“I know it’s kind of late. We didn’t really see each other, but I got you a gift. I know it’s not much, but here.”
I handed her the gift. She smiled a little and set it down on the couch. “Thanks. I will open it later. I just have to get everything cleaned up right now. I do not want my parents to think I made a complete wreck of their house over spring break. They still need to pay for my college, you know?”
She didn’t say anything else and started cleaning up. “Open it now,” I said, a little annoyed.
She sighed and sat down on the couch. “Oh, alright”.
Caroline pulled off the pink bow and ripped the bright purple wrapping beneath it. She didn’t look at me. As she opened the gift, there were two photo frames beneath it. I had put a photo of Caroline and us from high school in one photo frame. We were smiling and laughing, looking like ourselves, having a great time. Our eyes shining brightly. It was one of my favorite photos of us. The other photo frame had an image of the Hollywood star logo. Her name “Caroline Bethodes” was written on the star, as if she were a Hollywood star herself.
She looked at each photo for a few minutes. “Thanks, hun.” she said and put the frames on the table. They just sat there, lying down. She did not gasp or laugh or smile like she usually did. She did not go in to a long conversation, mesmerized on my ability to put her name on the Hollywood star, even though I wasn’t a Photoshop expert. She didn’t tell me how she remembered when we took the photo together or how we were hanging out that summer before our senior year in high school. She didn’t tell me how she remembered that moment, like she usually did. She just stood there and then continued cleaning up.
It was almost 1 in the afternoon. I was sort of mad. What was with her? Was she ignoring me? Did she not care about our friendship anymore? “You know, I couldn’t afford expensive stuff like your New York friends. And I’m not in fancy plays like Georgia is. But I am still your friend.”
She didn’t say anything. She gave me an angry look. “I said thanks,” she said and walked in to the other room.
Did she know something? I started cleaning up the house, feeling slightly guilty. She always hooked up with guys. Why shouldn’t I? I was allowed to have fun wasn’t it? Wasn’t I the one that always took her home and made sure she didn’t hook up with the wrong guys? I made her safe.
I threw some trash out in the bathroom, the one Caroline and I always got ready together in since high school. I looked at myself in the mirror.
“I have to find Jeff,” Caroline said quickly, not looking at me. She was carrying a large white trash bag. She closed the bathroom door and I continued looking at myself. Yes, maybe I made a mistake, but everyone makes mistakes, don’t they? And this mistake was no worse than mistakes Caroline made in the past, was it? How dare she make me feel guilty when she had done so many things wrong?
“Caroline, wait” I said. “I have to tell you something.”
She stopped. She looked down a little. “What is it?”
I paused. “I just, wanted to say…” I knew I should tell her. It would be better than Jeff telling her, but I just couldn’t say it. “I just wanted to say, I don’t think… you should have just put my gift away like that. It was a personal gift. And you were kind of ignoring me all night. It is like we aren’t friends anymore.”
“Oh yeah?” she asked. She gave me an evil stare. Caroline always got her way, why couldn’t I get my way one time. “You want me to feel bad that I don’t hang up that stupid gift? Of a Hollywood star and an old photo of us? I am in New York by the way, not Hollywood.”
I stood there in awe. I was a bit shocked that she was so mean like that. She had never said anything like that to me before. I bit my lip and held back tears. “Caroline! What is that supposed to mean? I spent a lot of time making that for you!”
“Kind of like, your gift of letting Jeff cheat on Brian with you. Even though they were meant to be together.”
“Caroline…” I paused. Should I have felt guilty? I tried to just be honest. “I know he has a boyfriend. I didn’t even think I was attracted to him, you know. It just sort of happened. Like you and the other guys that you hook up with.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I mean, you did tell me to let loose and drink.”
She paused. “I did not tell you to get drunk and hook up with my brother!”
Why was she making a big deal out of it? “Nothing happened,” I said quietly. “I just wanted somebody to
pay attention to me I guess. You are always in the spotlight and Jeff was just kind of there. He gets me. You know? We had this moment at the beach and actually, maybe I’ve liked him for a while. We kind of clicked. I feel good around him. I get butterflies.”
“Butterflies,” she hissed. “Moment at the beach? What is this? He is with Brian. And he is gay!”
I paused. “Maybe he is attracted to girls too,” I said. “I mean, we like each other. I think we are good together.”
“You are not good together,” Caroline said angrily. “You are not supposed to even be with him! He likes guys and he’s with Brian!”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I was getting angry now. “You don’t know what is best for him. Maybe I am right for him.”
“You?” she said. I felt like I was talking to someone I didn’t know. “You are not right for anyone.” She turned around and tapped her heels against the floor, walking out of the room.
Not right for anyone? Not right for any guy? I knew Jeff was her brother and this was awkward for her, but she wasn’t even considering my point of view. Why was she so mean to me? She was so different now after she went to New York. I was always there for her when she had problem with guys. I listened to her stories of New York. Why wasn’t she there for me?
I didn’t know what to do. I sat on the couch and looked at the framed photos. She said she wanted to be an actress in New York, not Hollywood. What was that attack about? Did she think I didn’t get her? I worked hard on these gifts and on our friendship as well.
I got up and walked over toward the basement. Jeff was coming upstairs. He stopped and looked at me. “Oh, hi” he said.
“Hi Jeff,” I smiled. “I know this is sort of awkward.”
He looked a little nervous and looked down. He did not smile at me and he didn’t seem happy. “I have to go.”
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” I was confused. Didn’t he want clarity? Jeff looked at me. Suddenly, Jeff wasn’t Caroline’s brother, but somebody I had hooked up with. Somebody that was maybe something more. I thought about the beach and us and that maybe we would have another night like last night in the future. I went on, “I just think maybe there’s something more between us. I know Caroline is mad at me and maybe you are. I just know that I felt there was something there. At the beach, dancing last night, and hooking up.”
Jeff cut me off. “Betsy, you are a nice girl. You are beautiful and you are fun to be with… “Oh no, I thought. Was he rejecting me? “We’ve had some good moments together. I just think we shouldn’t see each other again.”
“But, don’t you feel something for me?”
“You are Caroline’s best friend. She is my sister! That’s just too weird for me. I’m with Brian, I am attracted to men. You are just my sister’s friend. It was just a hook up. We had a fun time and now it’s over.”
I didn’t say anymore. Sister’s friend? He didn’t even say we were friends. I felt a gut feeling in my stomach and all of a sudden, I was angry. Why was everyone rejecting me? I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to scream that he should feel the same thing I felt for him. But I didn’t say anything. I just let him walk by me without saying anything more. I stood at the door of the basement. I let my eye blink and felt myself started to cry. I wiped away a few teardrops.
I went in to Caroline’s room. I didn’t know where she was. I packed my stuff. I was done with this party.
*****
One time in high school, Jeff drove Caroline and me to a rollerblading rink. I remember Jeff was sixteen years old at his time and he had just received his license. We were in junior high, and so excited that he could drive us around anywhere we wanted. We let Jeff drive us to school dances, parties, movies, and wherever we wanted. “As long as he uses my parent’s car, he has to drive us anywhere we want” Caroline said, grinning. “Anywhere! He can even take us to high school parties.”
We were going rollerblading at a popular place for junior high students. When it got dark, they would turn on the lights that glow at and play pop music while the colorful lights lit up the room. It was like going to a dance or a party and I loved the feeling that the lights gave me. “High school parties?” I said. “That’s just scary.” Caroline laughed at me.
When we arrived, I remember rollerblading to my favorite songs and Caroline rollerblading with me. “Why don’t you talk to those boys?” she joked. She would go up to boys our age, or even older than us, and start flirting with them. She was always different than me in that way.
That night, she found a boy that was a year older than us, but still in junior high. Instead of just talking to him though, she wanted to take him home. When Jeff came to pick us up at our designated time, she tried to bring the boy back with her in the car. “Come on, just drive him home with us!” Jeff refused at first, but finally let this strange boy in the car with us. The memory lingered in my mind for some reason.
*****
It was about 2:30 in the afternoon. I had my bag over my shoulder as I went downstairs. I heard some people talking but didn’t recognize their voices. One girl had red hair and one had brown hair up in a ponytail. “Did you hear that Caroline hooked up with Josh?”
“What a party. I thought Josh was with Aimee.”
“I guess not anymore,” the other girl laughed. They walked at the door.
I stood at the door, kind of mad at what I heard. I took a deep breath. Caroline was with another guy? She didn’t even mention it when we talked. Wasn’t that the same thing I did? How was what Caroline did any different? Just because I was with her brother, I was supposed to do things differently? Was I supposed to be a perfect angel?
I saw Caroline. She was bringing out bags of trash out.
“Caroline!” I said. I was about to yell at her, but I felt stupid bring up Josh. She always did stuff like that. Instead, no words came out. “I just wanted to say goodbye,” I said.
“Goodbye, Betsy.” She said this, hardly looking up.
“Don’t you have anything to say to me?” I finally said. I wanted to her to say she hooked up with Josh or that she felt bad and was sorry for yelling at me. But nothing came.
”Thanks for the gift.” Caroline treated me more like an acquaintance than her best friend. I thought about how both Caroline and Jeff had rejected me today.
“Sorry about your brother,” I said and didn’t say anything more. I walked away and towards home.
When I got home, I realized that I still had her pink dress on. The envelope necklace was around my neck. When I got inside, I let my bag fall off my shoulder with a crash. I reached my hands behind my neck and unhooked the silver envelope shaped necklace around me. I set it down nearby, not knowing if I would wear it again.
THE END
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Devoted to a Highlander
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"...Freya stood numb before the priest as he spoke the marriage vows. She only heard the drum of his voice as her mind had wandered afar. The fortnight had flown past as she and her mother and sister prepared for King Emmanuel’s decree. Her trousseau was readied in miraculous time and the dressmaker and six helpers had worked well into every night to ready her wedding gown. It was an exquisite gown of deep rose with hundreds of pearls glittering in the overlay of silver and pink lace. Before she knew it the fateful day had arrived and she was walking down the long aisle of Saint Paul’s cathedral with hundreds of dignitaries, royalty, and villagers. All to watch her repeat vows that would ruin her life.
“Miss Freya?” the priest prompted.
She started. Sneaking a peek at her groom, Freya could see his annoyance at her inattention. She guessed at what her response should be and muttered it.
“I d
o.”
The priest carried on with the pledges and she heard Shawn’s response. She looked at the man who was becoming her husband and boldly assessed him. He was extremely handsome with thick, long dark brown hair. His features were keen with brilliant grey eyes that were currently piercing a hole straight through her.
“May God give you wisdom and patience and may he bless you for as long as you both shall live. You are now husband and wife,” Father Allain pronounced. He nodded to Shawn. “You may kiss your bride.”
Shawn had wondered what he would do when this moment arrived. He had thought to only kiss her cheek. But as he observed her throughout the ceremony his loins protested such a chaste peck. They cried out for more and he could not deny them. He pulled her to him roughly and kissed her thoroughly to the shouts and cheers of the audience. He pushed his tongue into her mouth. She tasted delicious and Shawn’s cock came alive. He felt her push against his chest but he did not draw back until her teeth bit his tongue sharply. He withdrew quickly and narrowed his hot grey eyes at her.
“To be continued,” he murmured.
He wanted to run his hands through her thick brunette hair and pulled out the pins that were holding it atop her head. He imagined the weight of it heavy in his palms as he raised it to his nose to smell its delectable scent. He thought he smelled lemon as they turned to process out of the church. The scent suited her. It was crisp, fresh, and authentic, which was much as his impression of her. She was beautiful beyond his expectations and her slim, curvaceous body fit perfectly against him. It was too bad that she was a McCree. This union might have had a chance if that were not the case. They left the church amid cheers from the hundreds of villagers who had not been able to enter the church. Shawn’s grand coach stood waiting to carry them back to his castle. He assisted Freya into the vehicle, then her mother and sister. A footman closed the door after he entered and they were off. There was an awkward silence in the coach as Freya sat as far away from him as the cushioned bench would allow. She smiled benignly then turned to look out of the window. He looked at her closely then memory dawn.
