“What happens if I get out of control?” Kodai grabs her wrist and pulls her to him. For a moment, they stare pupil to pupil and to his surprise, she doesn’t look away.
“That’s up to you,” she finally says. A hostess in a blue dress passes them and quickly averts her eyes away.
“Why do you trust me?” Kodai asks after taking another small hit off his pollute mask. “I’m dangerous.”
She laughs softly. “Danger is in the eye of the beholder.”
“I’m not familiar with that phrase.”
“Nevermind.” Sarah’s visage morphs into a wolfish grin. “You’ve had a long night, haven’t you?”
“I have.”
“Then let’s leave. You go first and I’ll follow.”
Enchanted by the look in her eyes, Kodai slowly nods his head. “Got it.”
“We’ll go to your place.”
“Of course.”
“And then what will happen?” she asks.
“I’ll watch you undress, shower, go to the … ” He clears his throat. “I’ll watch you do whatever I tell you to do.”
“Fine, I like the sound of that.” She turns and glances back at him over her shoulder. “As long as it helps you clear your head.”
Chapter 21: Rilakkuma pancakes on the fly
First thing in the morning, Ryuk vows, that’s when he’ll log back in to join Tamana and his guildmates. Sure, he could stay in Tritania using his Somnium skip box, but it’s late in the real world, and there’s something about one’s own bed that the digital world just can’t replicate. Besides, Tamana needs some rest. Now that she’s an RPC, she has to sleep.
His haptic rig powers down and he takes off his NV visor. He yawns, contemplates moving to the living room to tell Hajime the good news, and thinks otherwise. Even if he protests, Hajime will insist that he eats breakfast; Ryuk can tell him then.
“Hajime?” he whispers, just to be sure that the humandroid isn’t seated in a dark corner of his room meditating. No one answers.
He stands, yawns again, and over iNet, he instructs the lights in his room to dim ever-so-slightly. Once they’ve done so, he goes for the small box on his desk. Domo-kun rocks the front of the box of ListerCope Winter Fire Spearmint BrushFast, and as Ryuk opens it, a message appears on his iNet desktop offering him a coupon on his next purchase of ListerCope.
He’s seconds away from swiping it away when FeeTwix’s avatar, rich boy gloves, golden hair and all hops down in front of the box and shoots him a thumbs up. “Hello there, honorable oral hygiene enthusiasts in the Metro Tokyo urboplex! Mention #FeeTwixRox at checkout and take an additional 10% off!” the little avatar tells him in Japanese. “Arigato gozaimasu!” It then bows repeatedly.
Is he really that popular? Ryuk considers this for a moment. The ad probably just targeted me because I’m a Tritania regular. He swipes the message away, simultaneously reminding himself that he’d better watch what he says in front of FeeTwix.
After removing the plastic from the BrushFast kit, Ryuk places the mouth guard in and it goes to work, quickly dissolving as it cleans his teeth and freshens his breath. He climbs into his bed and pulls a single blanket up to his shoulders. The lights above him morph to a subtly maroon color and slowly fade off.
He selects the latest episode of Flight Feet,フライトフィート, and picks up where he left off. An epic forest battle between Attla spiders and a guild led by a busty blue-haired elf plays out across his eyelids, and it only takes a second for his thoughts to drift somewhere else.
Tamana.
Seeing her face and the rapid recovery as she drank the healing potion made everything worthwhile. Even though he never dwells on it, she was his only friend in Tokyo. The thought that she’s dead still pains him, but at least she is alive in Tritania, a world he can visit whenever he likes.
Ryuk opens his eyes. A wave of black sluices across his wall as his lids grow heavy and slumber carries him away.
(0)__(0)
A breakfast prompt awakes Ryuk.
He selects the Rilakkuma-inspired pancake set and rolls to his side. His iNet system comes to life, providing him with everything from the weather to the news. Notifications on the lower left-hand pane of his vision tell him that the Mitherfickers are rich in rupees and that FeeTwix has already logged in.
He sits up, rubs his eyes, and quickly views a replay of the game Hiccup and FeeTwix played with the bards last night. So that’s Punch Chest, huh? Reviewing at ten times the speed doesn’t make the dialogue any clearer, but it isn’t dialogue he’s after; Ryuk simply wants to be caught up.
Hiccup disappears, likely to see to Tamana in their hostel, and reappears.
Zaena materializes just as more rupees are wagered. The bards lose everything, accuse Hiccup and FeeTwix of cheating, and challenge them to a duel. FeeTwix mows them down with some sort of submachine gun, collapses from his life bar penalty, and is helped back to the hostel by Hiccup and Zaena.
All in a night’s work. Ryuk can’t help but chuckle.
After changing and putting on his black hooded sweatshirt, Ryuk enters the living room, determined to make breakfast conversation short as he needs to log back in. Still, there’s something he’d like to say to Hajime.
“Have you thought more about the difference between Kodai and you?” The humandroid goes with a question rather than ohayō gozaimasu.
Ryuk bows his head. “Sorry, I’ve been preoccupied. Hajime … ”
“Yes?” The humandroid flips the pancake and finally makes eye contact with Ryuk.
“I want to thank you for inspiring me. I still don’t know exactly what your oblique card from yesterday meant, but by contemplating on it, I was able to develop a strategy and … ” He smiles. “I, we, rescued Tamana last night. The Thulean and I. I thought of the differences between the Shinigami and our guild and how to emphasize them. I figured the best way forward was to play our differences and do something unpredictable.”
Hajime nods, clearly impressed. “So rather than gather intel, you went for it, huh? The ultimate quest is really progressing.”
“I just knew it was the right thing to do and seriously, we were lucky, everything played out in a way and sure, we barely got away, but we did get away and now Tamana is with us and seriously, I need to log in. We’re going to level up all day and take it to the Shinigami.”
“I know she’s back and you are experiencing joy because of this, but I think there is still more to discover regarding the friction between you and your older brother.” Hajime walks over to the table and places a pancake on the plate in front of Ryuk.
“I get it, I really do. I know the difference between us and how to emphasize it. Easy – acknowledge it and move on.” Ryuk tears in the pancake and stuffs a large piece into his mouth. “I’ve got to hurry, Hajime, Tamana and the others are waiting. I’ll catch you up later,” he assures the humandroid.
Hajime offers him a skeptical look.
“What?” Ryuk asks with his mouth full of pancake. He chews and swallows hard. “Okay, differences between my brother and me, um, here goes: he’s a thug who went to NYU who is better than me at most things and who is trying to follow in my father’s footsteps. That about sums it up.”
“It would be interesting if one of those things wasn’t true. It may even break the power he holds over you. Just think about it.”
Ryuk’s jaw drops open. “He didn’t finish, did he?”
Hajime sits back in his chair. “How should I know?”
“You obviously know. You can access his transcripts!”
“And you can’t?”
“Of course I can’t. That stuff is private. Universities just don’t release them, especially in a place like America. People would sue.”
The humandroid considers this for a moment. He takes his hair tie out and tightens his small ponytail before putting it back on.
“Well?” Ryuk asks, on the edge of his seat now with suspense and a burning urge to finish breakfast and lo
g in.
“You could ask me to call in a favor … ”
“Would you?”
Hajime shrugs. “I already did.”
“So I’m right, aren’t I? Kodai didn’t graduate from NYU.”
“Yes, you are right, but it shouldn’t have taken artificial intelligence to goad you along until you came to this realization.”
“You’re saying I should have asked before?”
“That, or you should have looked into it yourself. Finding a person’s transcript in the age of iNet isn’t difficult.”
Ryuk grimaces. “He’s given me so much shit about going to college, and to think he didn’t even finish!”
“That may be why he has given you so much shit, as you put it.”
After another bite of his pancake, Ryuk pushes himself away from the table. “I need to go.” He bows at Hajime. “Thanks again for helping me.”
He motions to Ryuk’s plate. “Before you go, please, check today’s oblique card.”
Ryuk moves his plate to the side to find a notecard: Faced with a choice, do both.
Chapter 22: Dirty Dave’s Armor and Weapons Depot
Ryuk ignores the feedback as he takes shape in his avatar. He has picked up right where he left off, in their shared room in the Mondegreen Hostel.
Hiccup, clad only in a navel ring and leopard print jockstrap lies on the bed opposite Tamana. His blanket is wadded around his ankles and his mechanical fingers brush the floor. He snores like a congested heifer, and the unmistakable miasma of l’air du Goblin permeates the room.
After a quick check, he swipes the Mitherfickers’ stats away.
Ryuk Matsuzaki Level 8 Ballistics Mage
HP: 270/270
ATK: 71
MATK: 94
DEF: 54
MDF: 37
LUCK: 10
FeeTwix Fajer Level 12 Berserker Mystic
HP: 336/336
ATK: 89
MATK: 27
DEF: 63
MDF: 32
LUCK: 13
Hiccup Level 10 Shield Thief
HP: 425/425
ATK: 70
MATK: 13
DEF: 101
MDF: 48
LUCK: 9
Zaena Morozon Level 12 Brawler Assassin
HP: 357/357
ATK: 91
MATK: 8
DEF: 88
MDF: 24
LUCK: 14
Tamana Nakamura Level 2 White Warrior
HP: 138/138
MANA: 79/79
ATK: 52
DEF: 19
MATK: 12
MDF: 38
LUCK: 3
FeeTwix: It’s about time you showed up. We took a room on the top floor with a view of the Bonsor River. It’s a room normally reserved for the wait staff, but it definitely did the trick. I had some Sotlian macaroons delivered via an EBAYmazon dragon and … well, let’s just say that they work exactly as advertised. We’ll be down in a few minutes. Wake the goblin up.
Ryuk looks to Tamana, smiling down at her as she gently rests with her hands over her chest. She’s in a nightgown, with long sleeves and a collar of embroidered lace. She senses his presence; her eyes open and they settle on him.
He takes a knee. “Good morning.”
“Morning.” She yawns and pushes some of her silvery white hair out of her face. A halo radiates around her head for a moment and settles. As she sits up, she quickly draws her hair back into a tight ponytail.
“Actually … ” Tamana lets her hair drop and quickly braids the sides. She accesses a golden hair clip from her inventory list and secures the end of the braid. Concern flits across her face as she braids the other side. “I just remembered a dream I had last night – well, not a dream, more of a nightmare.”
“What happened?”
“There was a fight, a huge battle, and all of us were there. Just as we were about to kill the last of them, you turned on us. You killed each of us individually, and you saved me for last.” She gasps. “You blew my head off, even as I begged you not to.”
“I’d never do that!” Ryuk reaches for her hand and squeezes it. “You know I’d never do that, I’d never betray you.”
“I know, I know.” She takes her hand from his and stands. As she does, her nightgown disappears and her leather armor forms, complete with large golden epaulets with white sparkly tassels. “It was just a nightmare,” she assures him. “You’re right.”
“You know I wouldn’t do that, never to you.” He wants to tell her about how much he cares for her and how he’d do anything for her, especially now, especially after losing her in the real world, but as he steels himself to finally bare his soul, Hiccup sunders the moment with a foul and feculent blast from his nether cheeks.
The goblin startles awake, leaps from the bed, and falls flat on his face. His eyes widen, his nostrils flare, and a berserker’s hand axe appears in his mechanical hand as he fights his way to his feet.
“Holy fickin’ shit!” he bellows as he spins around. “Who fickin’ did that?”
Tamana giggles and pinches her nose as she retreats to the far side of the small room.
Damn goblin, Ryuk thinks as Hiccup checks behind himself for any collateral damage.
“Shit,” the goblin turns to Ryuk, “that was me, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, you farted yourself awake like a mangy dog.”
“It was those fickin’ lemon pepper dragon wings, I tells ya. I had some more last night, midnight snack if you will, after handing it to those pussywillow bards.” He wipes his hands together. “Welp, I’ll be down the hall in the Little Goblins’ room for just a few moments. Marbles, go ahead and tell the guy that runs the place that I’d like some brekky, Konakhchani Rohva, if he has it, and I’m pretty sure he does.”
“And what is that exactly?” Ryuk asks.
“Caramelized hog feet. Tell him to crack some raw dove eggs over it. Sotlian crow eggs would be better, but they’re not in season right now.”
Tamana cringes.
Hiccup bristles. “Look, Miss Macrobiotic – if you don’t like what I eat, don’t get any – but spare me the judgmental icky-icky face and just get whatever healthy trendy cruelty-free vegan diet food is currently in vogue.”
The door opens outward. FeeTwix and Zaena enter, holding hands. Hiccup rolls his eyes and steps out to perform his toilette.
“Great Googly-Moogly!” the Swede exclaims as his nose wrinkles and his eyes water. “I’d ask what that smell is, but our pink-haired buddy was letting those rip all night!”
“Twick you, Fixy!” The goblin calls over his shoulders. “Shit. You know what I mean!”
“Is it safe to breathe?” Zaena asks after the goblin is a good five meters away.
Feetwix nods and looks to Ryuk. “Did you check the guild’s coffers? Fifty thousand rupees, thank-you-very-much. At one point, we were up eighty thousand, but he-who-shall-not-be-named bet a third of it on a ponytail race – which should seriously be illegal because those races are pretty fucked up. Still, we have enough to get some healing potions and better armor. Also, one of my fans has extended a line of credit to me. He’s a banker in Valhalla, by the way, so if we’re over any, he can hook us up.”
“I was hoping not to get involved with in-game banking,” Ryuk says.
Zaena clears her throat. “Same here, but if we’re going with your plan, we need all the help we can get.”
“You know about my plan?”
“I told them,” says Tamana, “after they returned last night.”
“And you guys are up for it?”
“Surprise attack the Shinigami at their rented guildhall? You bet your ass we are.” FeeTwix points at his blue eyes. “My viewership breached one million last night. Crazy numbers, really. And that’s just live viewers. People love watching Hiccup gamble, it seems. The replays alone have already been viewed three million times in less than twenty-four hours, and the sponsors are going insane.”
A t
hought occurs to Ryuk, something he hasn’t pondered before. “Your viewers don’t know of our plan to bring the fight to the Shinigami?”
FeeTwix scoffs. “Of course they don’t!”
“Did you see any real world players in their guild? They’re all NPCs or RPCs, aren’t they?”
“There was the one commoner in the group that attacked me in the forest,” Zaena turns to Ryuk, “the one that looked like you. But he wasn’t at their guild last night. We would have definitely seen him. He may have simply been a magic-wielding mercenary.”
“How would that explain the fact he was using my face?”
She shrugs. “Maybe he found what you look like in a guild registry or something.”
“Still, couldn’t the Shinigami use your feed to find us, to track us?” Ryuk asks.
“It’s easy. If they find us, we’ll simply respawn back here and I’ll cut the feed.” FeeTwix rubs his hands together. “They don’t know where we are staying. If it helps, we can book another hostel or two as respawn points, just to throw them off if they do track us down. In fact, that’s a damn good idea. Let’s go,” he tells Zaena, “and get another place.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Jim the hostelier calls from the hallway outside of their room. FeeTwix and Zaena step aside to let him in.
Their host is stylishly accoutered in a freshly-pressed tuxedo, and his face is shaved baby-bottom smooth. “This hostel is warded with algomagic,” he informs them, “a powerful spell cast by the leader of the Knights of Non Compos Mentis.”
Ryuk turns to Tamana and watches as she says, “Sophia.”
“Why yes,” says Jim, “I should have assumed you knew her considering both of you were once part of her guild, I’m given to understand.”
Tamana nods.
Jim gives her a twitchy smile. “Indeed, but as I was saying – and I beg your pardon most humbly for intruding, but the door was open and I suspect that you will find this information useful, despite my lack of proper doormanship.”
“Go on,” says the Swede.
Fantasy Online_Hyperborea Page 24
