by Lily White
His steps weren’t hurried as he approached the bed and his eyes ran over my body hungrily, haunting in their intensity and ravenous in their determination. Without his glasses, he appeared less tame and more like a man who could tear a woman apart by the feel of his lips or the whisper of his breath across her neck. He reached for me and I flinched back, fearing his touch. When he simply laid the dress on the bed and stepped away, I sat back up. Crossing my arms over my chest, I looked between the dress and him, noticing that his stare conveyed how inflexible he was in his unspoken command.
“I’ll step out of the room. When I see you again, I hope you’re wearing the proper clothes. If not, I’ll take it as an invitation to put the dress on you myself.”
He left the room quickly and I continued sitting silently until I heard the door to my backyard open and then close. I huffed out an indignant breath, but found myself reaching for the red silk after a few seconds. He wanted me sultry. He wanted me to dress in a way that I assumed would complement him.
Fine.
A smile crept over my expression at the thought of seducing Lucas only to leave him flat on his ass by my refusal to allow him to touch me. I’d never imagined playing the game of hard to get, but something about that frustrating man made me want to play him at his own game. I amused him, that much I knew. I never pegged myself as a sultry woman, but tonight, I was going to delve into the world that Lucas created around himself. I was going to be a character – a strong female lead that was charming and classy, while also seductive and confident.
Quickly, I pulled off the clothes I’d dug out of the back of my closet earlier that evening, and I slipped the red silk around myself, tying it at the waist.
Looking into the mirror, my eyes shot to the disheveled bun on the top of my head and the glasses sitting awkwardly on the tip of my nose. I was a mess. My legs moved swiftly in the direction of the bathroom. Within minutes, I’d let my hair down and applied makeup. Glancing at myself again, I was surprised by the demure vixen standing before me. On the outside, I was sex in heels, but on the inside, I was Lucas’ scared little rabbit who wanted to hide under her blankets and pretend this night wasn’t going to happen.
Walking out of my bedroom and entering the living room, I stopped in my tracks when I eyed Lucas standing outside. Beneath the twinkling lights strewn around my backyard, he looked dangerous, yet breathtaking at the same time. He stood perfectly still, his shoulders pulled back and his feet planted at shoulder width. His hands were in his trouser pockets and his face was tilted up to the sky. My eyes looked over the silhouette of his face and noticed that, even covered in shadow, he exuded a raw beauty unlike anything I’d ever seen. Mystery, strength and determination were ingrained in his features. He was a man who you didn’t want to cross because, instinctively, you knew you wouldn’t win. Yet here I was, dressed up and ready to take him on, if for nothing more than to prove to myself that I could resist him.
How stupid was I?
Breathing in a deep calming breath, I took a hesitant step forward and then another, before opening the glass door out into the backyard.
He turned immediately when he heard the door click closed behind me and his eyes searched me from top to bottom, slowing at the curves of my body just as an approving grin snuck over the perfection of his mouth.
“You look lovely, Autumn. Just as I knew you would.” He didn’t move to approach me, remaining in place, knowing without doubt that I would cross the expanse to be by his side. Despite my reservations, despite our incongruent ways of thinking and ways of life, I couldn’t help but be drawn to him.
It was like magnets: two opposing forces: one light, one dark; one good, one evil; one innocent and one corrupt, that were pulled together simply because they could fill what the other lacked.
I was by his side within seconds and I breathed in a deeply when his cologne washed against me, pushed along by a light wind that jostled the branches above us, causing the lights that were strung through the trees to sway and the shadows around us to dance.
He was quiet when I approached and took my place by his side, but after a few minutes wherein the tension between us was suffocating, he finally turned his head to look at me. As if in slow motion, I watched his jaw move and his lips part. I hung on his every word, despite their disguised cruelty.
“I’ll not have a woman who seeks to spend time with me dressed as if I’m not worthy of her effort. You have the potential to be a rare jewel in a sea of common faces, Autumn. Yet you hide that each day. Especially, when you know you’ll see me. Why?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I wanted my voice to be stronger. I wanted it to be loud and confident. However, despite my desire to not seem unsure and nervous, my voice squeaked out weakly, powerless when compared to his.
“I think you’re afraid. I think you like to hide in the background, blend in so as not to draw attention or notice. It’s sadly pathetic how you spend so much time dressing up so you are NOT seen. You are a frightened girl, alone and lost within this world and I find that to be both attractive and promising. You are exactly what I’ve been looking for all this time.” He turned to look at me and I hid my eyes from his discerning stare.
Anger blossomed inside me and my hands gripped into weak fists – the nails digging into the skin of my palms, threatening to cut if I squeezed them any tighter. I had no idea what he was talking about. Why would he be looking for a girl like me when he had hundreds of women throwing themselves at his feet? Regardless of his cryptic statement, it was the insults that angered me the most.
“You know what? Never mind about dinner. I’m suddenly not feeling up to going out.” Like a petulant child, I felt like stomping my foot or picking up something just to throw at him. I was blindsided by the rude and bitter words and I couldn’t believe that I’d been so stupid as to see him for anything other than the arrogant, egotistical bastard he was.
As I walked back towards the house, he called out, “What did you learn last night?”
My feet stopped, but I refused to turn to look at him.
“What do you mean?” My eyes were glued to the door ahead of me, but my curiosity prevented me from slamming my hand against the door and walking inside.
“From the book I gave you. What did you learn?”
A humorless laugh bubbled up my throat and due to the indignant storm that suddenly developed within me, I turned to glare at the man who’d just finished putting me down without knowing a thing about me.
“Learn? I was supposed to learn from that trash? You described a woman being beaten and abused for weeks by a bitter and hate-filled man. You took something as beautiful as marriage and turned it into nothing more than a man’s way of owning and controlling a woman. You described scenes that were enough to make me want to vomit. I slept with the lights on after reading that book.”
He didn’t blink an eye, but gracefully took blow for blow – his smile widening with every hate-filled, putrid word I could throw at him about that book.
“And what’s worse … after all of that - all the abuse and torture and depravity and disgusting hateful acts – she dies! It was all for nothing! The entire story sucked you in because you thought that, in the end, she would destroy that horrifying bastard. You couldn’t even give her that? It was the most uninspiring, disturbing piece of fiction I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading!”
He laughed and I had to burn off the angry energy before walking up and hitting him in the face. How dare he find amusement in my opinion? My feet moved and I found myself pacing the garden. My heels would sink into the ground when I dared venture off the sidewalk, lending me an odd gait that only made him laugh more. When I dared to look up at him, he grinned like a madman, chuckling at the show I was apparently putting on for him.
Bastard!!
“What is so damn funny?!”
“You are, Ms. Cleary. I find you to be overwhelmingly amusing at times. Especially, when it comes to your reaction to my
writing.”
In a few large strides, he loomed above me.
The tension between us could be cut with a knife. He stared down at me while I glared up at him. I thought he’d insult me again, laugh at the fact that I couldn’t handle his brand of entertainment. What I didn’t expect was for him to calmly state his case for having written those God-awful words in the first place.
“I’m sorry you focused on the events of the book, rather than the lessons. She killed herself, Ms. Cleary. She chose to kick the chair out from beneath her, to hang from the rope he’d wrapped around her neck as her escape. She finally chose to not let him decide for her. She’d made her own fate by her decision to marry him, her decision to allow him to isolate her and her decision to finally end the harrowing eventuality that she would never escape him. Her final decision was an act of strength when you look at it in the correct light. However, that was not the point of the story. Her life, her death, the abuse and the pain – none of that matter. What does matter were the lessons the book taught to those who could understand; those who could see past the violence and the heartache to recognize how she wound up in that situation in the first place.” His finger was beneath my chin and he raised my face to his. “I’m not sure if I’m happy or upset that you apparently did miss that. I tried to help you, Ms. Cleary. I cannot be blamed that you failed to understand.”
His lips were on mine and when I tried to pull away out of anger, he gripped my chin, holding me in place. His tongue forced its way between my lips and my knees buckled at the strength of his kiss. This wasn’t passion or love or desire, this was a man claiming me despite my objections or attempts to stop him.
After struggling against him and after forcing back the feelings I was developing for him, I got desperate. My knee came up aimed straight between his legs, but his hand was faster. His fingers gripped and dug into the skin and tendons beneath and I yelped in pain, which only made him smile as he continued the vicious kiss he was forcing me to take. He released me moments later and guided my leg back down to where I could place my foot on the ground.
When his lips pulled away from mine, his teeth scraped over my mouth before he pulled away to look at me. I jerked back, attempting to place distance between us, but, once again, he moved faster than I could. His hand gripped at the back of my neck and he somehow wrapped bits of my hair around his fingers. He pulled my head back on my shoulders, securing me in such a way that all I could see was him.
“Try and hurt me again and you will regret it.”
“Is that a threat?” I couldn’t believe the way he was treating me. I had a mind to call the police and report his behavior but, what he’d done by this point had not been enough to label it a crime. I’d invited him here. I’d stepped up to stand beside him in my backyard and I’d returned the kiss until my anger reminded me that I wanted nothing to do with the arrogant man who held me in place.
He chuckled, dark and deep. Before replying, his tongue peeked out to run along the cushion of his bottom lip. “No, my dear, it’s a promise.”
Before I could reply, his mouth was hot against mine. I struggled and fought, finally sinking my teeth into the full skin of his lip. He hissed, but released me, and when he pulled back, I could see where the pink color of his mouth had been stained red from the blood I had drawn.
“As I said, Autumn. You are going to regret that.”
Suddenly I was free and I fell back, tripping over the heel of my shoe landing hard on the concrete beneath me. He neither moved to catch me or help me back to my feet. For a few quiet seconds, he stared at me as if he felt sorry for me and I reached up to brush back the hair that had fallen in front of my face.
“Were you going to leave, Mr. Bates, or do I need to call the police to escort you?”
Another tense moment of silence occurred before he calmly responded, “An escort will not be necessary. Before I leave, however, I do want to tell you that I attempted to help you as much as I could. I’ve focused on you, Autumn, and after that little stunt of yours that left my lip bleeding, I am more intent than ever to have you. The question is not if – but when.”
“That will never happen. I can promise you.” I don’t know where I suddenly found the strength; be it indignation, or anger, or the hint of betrayal, my voice was firm once again and I didn’t frighten so easily in his presence.
He laughed. “We’ll see about that, Ms. Cleary. I’m the type of man who gets what he wants. You’d be wise to remember that.”
With that, he turned and I watched the slow swagger of his body move beneath the shadows of the trees. Within seconds, I heard the iron gate open and close, slamming so hard that I jumped where I sat on the ground. Tears finally sprang from my eyes and my body shook with the restless energy that built up in me from the altercation.
What the hell had just happened?
One minute he was charming – well, as charming as he can be – but the next? He was as bleak and dark as the characters he writes. His words were nothing more than a veiled threat and one that I noted, but would not allow to sink in. I couldn’t be scared of him, had no reason to concern myself with him. He couldn’t invade my life and he couldn’t force my hand. He was nothing more than a man – a rich man – but a man, nonetheless.
I was not one of his dumb little women that would allow him to walk over me so easily.
Pushing myself up from the ground, I brushed the leaves and dirt from my bottom and kicked off my heels before walking back inside. I looked forward to washing away the stain of makeup and the taste of his skin from my body. As I made my way to the bathroom, I decided that I was done with Lucas Bates. If he showed up at the library, I would ignore him and if harassed me to the point where I couldn’t ignore him, I’d go to Sue to have her remind him that one date with her employee did not give him free reign to act as he pleased.
He was not the ‘Master’ over me that he wanted to be, despite his fucked up logic. I didn’t care if he got what he wanted. He certainly wouldn’t have me.
…
Sleep found me that night, shortly after the long bath I’d taken to relieve the anxiety caused by Lucas. I was snuggled down into my warm blankets and soft pillows, falling deeply into dreams.
The scream of the smoke alarm stirred me from slumber, but once I’d become cognizant of what the sound was, I shot up in bed.
The acrid smell that flowed around me made me cough, but that wasn’t what frightened me to a point of jumping from my bed. There, between the base of the closed door and the wood flooring below it, I saw the dancing shadow of flame.
I ran quickly to gauge what was happening, but my skin sizzled against the heat of the metal doorknob when I attempted to escape my room.
“Oh my God…”
Running to my closet, I grabbed clothes, but I didn’t have time to put them on before the smoke had become so thick, I was barely able to see or breathe. My only option was the window and I took it for fear that waiting any longer would trap me inside my house.
Once I climbed outside, I turned to find the brick and wood of my home completely engulfed in flames. My heart beat through my chest and I stood dazed at the sight. Shaking myself of my shock, I did the only thing I could think to do. Running hard, I made it to the neighbor’s house within seconds. He called the police and fire department and we stood together in silence, waiting, as we watched everything I owned go up in flames.
Lucas
My alarm clock sounded and my hand reached over to slap at the button that would render the room silent once again. Cracking open my eyes, I rubbed at my temples attempting to chase away the lethargy of a night without much sleep.
My first thoughts returned to Autumn and the argument we’d had in her yard the night before. I’d been angry with her attempt at hiding from me by the way she’d dressed. Most men would have been able to overlook such a stubborn indiscretion, but she’d questioned my intelligence in her game and she’d attempted to wound my pride by dressing as if the night with me
was no more important than running to the grocer or picking up her dry cleaning.
She hadn’t been successful and I was pleased to see that she so easily acquiesced to my demand that she change. Despite her snapping words which occurred only when her own anger pushed her to a point of bravery, she was nothing more than a docile kitten who could be stroked to a point of blissful surrender.
Pushing myself up from the bed, I padded barefoot into the bathroom, stripping myself of the black silk sleep pants prior to stepping in the shower. After I’d gotten dressed in grey slacks and a black button up shirt, I stepped into the kitchen, flicking on the television to listen to the news as I made my morning coffee.
Normally, the news was just background noise and I barely paid attention unless it discussed some odd murder or the occasional abduction. This morning, however, it seemed like the focus was on a house fire that was so destructive, nothing could be saved. Turning to look at the monitor, I saw Autumn being interviewed and I breathed out a sigh of relief that she’d apparently woken in enough time to escape with her life.
She looked haggard as they filmed her standing off on the side of the road watching as firefighters battled the blaze. My mind drifted to the lights she had strewn throughout the branches of her trees and I wondered if they would come to conclusion that the fire was accidental.
Grabbing my cell phone, I quickly dialed her number, hoping to speak to her and offer my condolences about the loss of her house. The phone rang two times, but was sent to voicemail after that. I decided not to leave a message. After pouring my coffee into a travel mug, I grabbed my briefcase and jacket and headed out to start my day.
The library staff was abuzz with whispered concerns for their co-worker. With every person so deep in conversation, I was able to slip back to the research wing without being bothered. The room, as usual, was dimly lit and I felt comfortable for once to finally be alone in a place that suited my mood. An hour passed without interruption and I found myself deeply engrossed in the details of a case where a man took a woman to use as a sexual slave. She wasn’t traded away or sold, but simply kept for his own amusement and perversions. When she wasn’t being raped, she was tortured, physically and mentally. I noticed a theme of control that appeared to begin with humiliation; making a person feel less about themselves so they learn to accept the abuse, believing that they have brought it upon themselves.
