“When the Spaniards came here looking for gold, contrary to what some historians have said, the Taino Indians who lived here did not give in easily; they fought back bravely. Now, I’m sure most of you know all this. However, I’m reminding you again to get you into the spirit of things. Sister Tomasina has written a script with the help of Don Antonio Diaz-Royo, who is one of our musicians.” As Sister spoke I realized that I didn’t know anything about the Tainos. Nobody back home had taught me this history.
When they began to call for volunteers, kids who wanted to audition or help in different ways, I raised my hand to work on the sets. I explained about the experience I had at school back home.
“She’s great!” said Provi. “I’ve seen her drawings, Sister.”
“So is Danny!” Ismael called out. “He’s the best artist here.”
“Danny, what do you say?” Brother Osvaldo asked. “Do you want to work on the sets?”
“Sure.” Danny stood up.
“Good,” Brother said. “You and Felita can work together.”
We spent most of that afternoon and evening making plans. The two sisters and Brother Osvaldo were busying figuring out just who was going to do what. Before we left, everyone was assigned a job and given a copy of the script.
On my way to the car I had to pass Anita and Marta. I wasn’t gonna look in their direction, since I sure didn’t want to start nothing. But right when I was walking by them, I heard Anita’s fat mouth.
“It sure is boring without any snow falling here like magic from the sky. Don’t you think so? I hope it snows soon so we can all play at making little snowmen and having little snowball fights. Just like little babies!” Right away Marta and Gladys began laughing real loud to make sure I heard. I wanted to turn around and ask Anita if she would like a little smack up side her head. But instead I kept on walking and acted like I didn’t hear a word.
When I told Provi what happened, she said I did the right thing to ignore them, because all they wanted was to make trouble. Even though I was annoyed, I was too excited about the scenery I was going to work on to really worry about Anita and Marta. I was gonna make the best sets possible and show them all around here what a person from New York City could do.
As soon as I got home I read the script. I learned that the Tainos were great fishermen and farmers. But when the Spaniards came, they used them for slaves and killed them for their gold. Some of the important leaders were women chiefs called caciques; they were very famous and strong. I liked that.
On Sunday afternoon when I was at Diana’s, her husband Raymond gave me a book with illustrations on Taino history. “Read this, Felita,” he said, “and you’ll learn even more about the Tainos.” Raymond was so nice. In fact his soft way of speaking reminded me of my brother Johnny.
From now until the carnival we were supposed to be at Santa Teresa’s early every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for work and rehearsals.
“Some of you might have to be here even more often,” said Brother Osvaldo, “so you better know that before you take on a job. I don’t want any excuses later.”
That sure didn’t bother me any. In fact I was glad because it meant I didn’t have to worry about spending time with Tio and his boring property, or being with Tia Maria and hearing all her complaining. I could at least be having fun with kids my own age, working on sets, and painting and drawing, which I love to do. As far as I was concerned, I’d be happy to spend the rest of my vacation at Santa Teresa’s.
On Monday, Provi’s father dropped us off and we got to work right away. The stage was being set up in the courtyard area where the boys played basketball. Brother Osvaldo and another man, a carpenter who everyone called Jackie, were finishing the platform for the stage as well as a large wooden backdrop that folded into several panels. So far Danny and me were the only artists. The sisters were trying to get us some helpers.
“Now,” Brother told us, “you two have to study what a Taino village looked like and paint it to look as real as possible on this backdrop. I suggest you two get together and do some sketches. Use this book.” He gave us the same book that Raymond had given me. “I’ve marked out some illustrations, see? These are good examples of scenes to work on. Now let’s see what you two can do.”
Danny and me struggled, trying to work from the book, and we kept getting in each other’s way.
“Look, I have the same book at home,” I said. “Why don’t you take this one to your house and work on the sketches there. Meanwhile I’ll work on my sketches too. Next time we can compare our work and figure out who should do what on the scenery.”
“That’s a great idea,” said Danny. “What are you better at, people or landscapes?”
“I like to do everything. How about you, Danny?”
“Me too.”
“All right, then let’s each do one whole scene and see who does what things best.”
At home as I worked on my scene, I could see the improvement in my drawing ever since I’d been copying the pictures in the art books Diana had lent me.
On Wednesday when we came in with our sketches, Brother was real pleased. “Felita, this is beautiful work, you can really draw.”
“I think you are better with people and animals than me,” said Danny. “In fact you are better at mostly everything you did.”
Brother Osvaldo decided that I would do all the figures and fine detail and Danny would concentrate on the buildings and background areas. We were also helping to make large cardboard cutouts of rocks, trees, and plants. Brother got us two helpers, Saida and Ismael. They were good at art, but not as good as me and Danny. Right away Ismael started getting bossy with me and Saida, ordering us around, saying things like, “Pick that up, Saida, and bring it here.” Or to me, “Why don’t you work on this side instead of where you are?” I mostly ignored him and told Saida to do the same. But when he started trying to change the way he was supposed to paint, I had to stop him.
“Ismael, I told you to make that background this here color.” I pointed to the color I had mixed for him.
“No, Felita, I think it’s better a dark brown.”
“No, it’s not! You won’t be able to see that color from far off.”
Ismael refused to listen to me, so I had to get Danny, who was working at the other end of the stage. Danny and Ismael are both about twelve, but I could see that Danny was tougher. “All right, Ismael, Felita and me are in charge here. Just do it like she says.” Danny stood facing Ismael with his hands folded. “I’m waiting, so don’t be giving us a hard time.”
Ismael smiled then bowed to me. “Anything you say, Miss Nuyorican!”
“My name is Felita!” I wasn’t going to let that fool start in on me. “Don’t you call me anything else except my name, you understand?” Ismael just grinned at me and went to work without saying a word. I looked at Saida and Danny, furious and fed up with being called names. Saida stuck her tongue out at Ismael. Danny walked back to where he was working. I just threw up my hands. There was too much to do to keep fighting.
Everyone was working like mad at Santa Teresa’s, trying to get everything finished by August 16th. It was really looking good too. Colorful booths, tables, and posts were being completed. The stage sets looked better each time we worked on them. Some of the kids came by just to look at the way we did them. “Nice job, Felita. You guys are doing a great job.” When they said those things, it made me feel good. I was really beginning to feel like I fit in at Santa Teresa’s just like anybody else.
Anita and Marta had parts as Taino women. Anita had to say about two words and Marta didn’t have any lines. Gladys was working on the costumes. She usually acted like I wasn’t even around, but Anita and Marta were nasty. They would pass by where I was working, point to some of the sets I had done, and burst out laughing. I just kept on ignoring them like they were two morons. But one day it got to be just too much. I saw all three of them coming close to the sets, then I heard Anita’s fat mouth.
�
�What is that?” She pointed to what I was working on. “I don’t see no tall buildings, no Chinatown, and no snow, do you? How boring! What are we all gonna do?” She said this real loud, so everybody could hear.
Then her stooge Marta answered, “I guess we better go back to the big city, where everything is so exciting!” They all began to laugh, Gladys louder than anybody else. Right then I took a large brush I was holding, dipped it into a can of green paint, and got ready to paint their faces. But Saida stepped in front of me.
“Don’t start nothing, Felita. Can’t you see that’s what they want? To make trouble so that we can’t go on working and you can’t finish the sets?” Mad as I was, I knew she was right. So I stopped, turned right around, and went back to work. I heard all three of them laughing as they walked away. I felt like yelling back at them, but I didn’t. I glanced over at Danny and Ismael, and they were working too, just as if nothing had happened.
When I told Provi, she said she was surprised at Gladys. “She used to be my good friend right up to this year.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know you like her.”
“Not anymore. She can hang out with them if she likes,” said Provi. “It’s her loss.”
Things were quiet for several days. Then late one evening, when I was finishing my work, I realized I needed more rags to clean my brushes and wipe up. So I headed toward the church to find Sister Tomasina. Around the back I bumped into Anita, Marta, and Gladys. They looked very startled, and turned away from me, acting real nervous. Then as I went inside I heard them giggling. There was something weird about their being together like that so secretively. It gave me the creeps. I found Sister, who gave me some rags, and rushed back, thinking maybe I could do a little more work before I left. But I looked inside the paint cans and couldn’t believe it! There was no paint left. I looked inside every single can, six cans in all, and each one was empty. I looked around. Saida was nowhere in sight, Danny was working with Ismael on a large cardboard cutout, and the kids who had been rehearsing near the main building were gone. I just stood there not believing what I’d seen. Finally I ran over to the boys. “Danny, Ismael, the paint’s gone! Come quick. There’s no more paint in the cans. Look!”
They both followed me back. “Hey, look!” said Danny. “You’re right. What happened?”
“That’s what I’d like to know. Did you two see anything?” I asked. They both shook their heads, and when Saida came back, she also said she’d seen nothing.
“We’d better go inside and tell the sisters what’s happened,” said Danny.
“I bet I know what happened,” I said. “I just saw Anita, Marta, and Gladys out back and they were acting real strange.”
“Do you think they took the paint, Felita?” asked Saida.
“Definitely.”
“Wait a minute.” Ismael cut me off. “How do you know it was them that took it? Did you see them? Did anybody here see them? No, right?” It was true none of us had seen them nearby. Still, I was sure it had been them.
“Maybe we didn’t see them,” I said, “but they’ve been bugging me and trying to make trouble. I don’t know anybody else who would do this. I just think they’re out to mess things up.”
“Just because you’re fighting with them and can’t get along with people here, don’t mean that they did it,” said Ismael. “You better be careful what you say, Felita. You can’t be accusing people unless you got some proof. After all, they’ve been coming to the youth center a lot longer than you.”
“I’m not the one that started it and I’m not the one fighting with them. You’ve all seen how they’re always coming around trying to bother me and calling me names.”
“You just better have proof, Felita, that’s all I’m saying. I was here and I didn’t see Anita, Marta, or Gladys anywhere around. And neither did anybody else.” When I saw the smirk on Ismael’s face, I didn’t trust him either. But I also didn’t feel so sure anymore about accusing Anita and Marta without proof. I didn’t like it; in fact I was pretty angry, but I kept quiet and we all followed Ismael inside to tell the adults what had happened.
A few minutes later Father Gabriel, Sister Pilar, Sister Tomasina, Brother Osvaldo, and the rest of us searched all over the place to see if the paint had been spilled somewhere. But we didn’t find any paint, not a single drop! I kept explaining that I hadn’t used up the paints and Saida and Danny backed me up.
“This is terrible, just terrible!” said Sister Pilar. “We are so short of money. Those cans were a donation from the Fernandez hardware store. Now we have to get more.” She looked at me and Danny. “How much more work do we have left?”
“We’re a little less than halfway done,” I said.
“And it’s looking so nice too,” Sister Tomasina said.
“Why would anyone want to spill out or take the paints? Are you sure those cans were not empty before?” Father asked again, looking directly at me.
“Of course I’m sure!” Now I was really getting angry. I was real tempted to say what I saw and what I thought was the truth, and I kept hoping that Danny and Saida might back me up. I looked at them, but they didn’t say anything. Ismael was acting real calm and cool. He was the first one to speak out.
“I was right here working all the time and I didn’t see anybody.”
“I did go to the bathroom,” Danny said, “but I came right back.”
“I didn’t see anyone either. I just went to wash up after I finished my work,” said Saida.
“That’s it for today, kids,” Father Gabriel said. “We’ll hope to have the paint for you by the time you come back to work. In the meantime we’ll ask around, search some more, and try to get to the bottom of this. Six cans half full of paint do not evaporate by themselves!”
At home that evening I told Tio what happened and he listened quietly as he always did.
“Tio, I know it’s them. When I saw Anita and Marta laughing and all secretive, I had this creepy feeling that something was wrong.”
“But if they took the paint, they would be hurting their own church and the play, in fact the whole carnival! And that’s very stupid. Don’t you think so?”
“I know. That shows how much they hate me. I mean I was willing to forget all that happened and be friends, but no, not them. They just have a grudge against me.”
“Listen”—Tio Jorge paused—“I don’t think they hate you. They just resent you, Felita, because you are an outsider. In that way this place has not changed much. People around here don’t like or trust strangers, especially city people. Another thing, you just joined the center and already you are making stage sets and are practically in charge of the scenery. They must resent that too.”
“Well, I’d still like to tell Father about what I saw and what I think.”
“Never mind, Felita, I think you were right not to say anything, because like Ismael said, you have no proof. If you accused them, it would just be your word against theirs. There are three of them and only one of you, and they have been here longer than you. Besides, they’re getting more paint, and you will be able to finish the sets. You’ll see, I’m sure they won’t bother you again. Forget about it, Felita, just make some great sets and then these girls will turn ugly and green with envy.”
That night I couldn’t sleep. It had been a while since I had felt this bad. The idea that someone might want to hurt me so badly that they would try to mess outsider in her own village? If it weren’t for Provi, I’d really be miserable.
“Abuelita, this is not the Puerto Rico you promised me! What have you got to say to me now?” up the sets sent a sharp ache right through my insides. Why wouldn’t those girls get off my back? I was tired of defending myself here, just like I was tired of defending myself back home when I was in a white neighborhood and they called me names too. It all felt wrong. It wasn’t fair. As I lay in my bed suddenly I had this feeling that I was in the middle of nowhere.
I thought of home. If I were there now, I’d be going
to Jones Beach, Coney Island, or maybe to the Bronx Zoo. I’d be hanging out a lot. I’d go to street fairs, block parties, and to the free concerts in the park. There were all kinds of great things to do. I know Mami would let me stay overnight at Gigi’s more often now that I was older. And when I thought of Vinny, I got this great warm feeling all over my body. I remembered the last time he kissed me when we were sitting in that little park after school and my heart started pounding away. I prayed he’d answer my letter real soon. All of a sudden I missed everybody so much—the kids on my block, even little Joanie. I wanted to go home, where I belonged. I didn’t fit in here.
My abuelita had always said how wonderful Puerto Rico was and how I should be proud of being Puerto Rican. Tonight for the first time I had the feeling it was nothing but a pack of lies. Why didn’t she tell me how I was gonna be made to feel like an the thing—Ismael was Gladys’s boyfriend, and when they wanted to be together, she kept asking me to lie for her. You know, to say she was with me when she was really meeting him. I said no, no way was I gonna be caught and punished for lying. Gladys called me a baby and said I wasn’t her good friend anymore.”
“Wow! Is Gladys still going with him?”
“No, not anymore. Listen to what happened. Anita took Ismael away from Gladys and he became her boyfriend. When that happened, Gladys came back trying to be my friend again. We made up, but we never became good friends like before. Then Gladys starts hanging around with Anita to be near Ismael because she still likes him and everybody knows it.”
“Is Ismael still Anita’s boyfriend?”
“I’m sure of it. But you see, Felita, around here the girls are real secretive about having boyfriends because if your parents find out, you never, ever get to see the boy you like. Plus you are watched every minute! It’s almost like being in jail.”
“What a mess! But, you know something, that’s a lot like what happens to us girls back home.” I told Provi about how my mother used to guard me and about all Mami’s speeches.
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