“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. I’m looking at a stranger. I still love you, even now. I thought you loved me too. What’s happened to you?”
I stood and dropped the file on Jay’s desk. “You happened to me, Jay, but this has nothing to do with us. What are you going to do about Johnny’s case?”
“It’s a waste of time, but out of my love for you, I’ll look at the file. I’m busy so it might take a few days to get to it. Then we’ll meet and talk about Johnny’s case and what’s going to happen between us before you leave.”
“Thank you. That means a great deal to me. Call me after you’ve read my findings, and we’ll talk—about everything.” I walked out without looking back. I’d won round one, but I knew I had a long way to go. I prayed for the strength to go the distance.
I waited for Jay’s call for three days. After breakfast on the fourth day, I went to see Johnny before going to find Jay. I was lost in thought as I opened Johnny’s door. It took a few seconds to register that he wasn’t there. His crib was empty and freshly made. All the decorations and other items I’d placed in his room were in a box on the table. I ran to the nurses’ station to find out what was going on. No one would look me in the eye.
“Heather, where’s Johnny?” I asked.
“He’s on his way back to Richmond. Dr. Morgan submitted his findings yesterday and notified the administration there that Johnny was going back today. I was going to call you, but Dr. Morgan said you knew what was going on.”
I leaned on the counter for support and said, “Can you get me a copy of his report?”
“Yes, I can e-mail it to you.” She handed me a notepad to write down my e-mail address.
I started to go after I wrote it down but turned back to Heather instead. “Have you read the report?”
Heather shook her head.
“Well, then have you noticed any changes in Dr. Morgan’s conclusions or decisions about Johnny?” I asked.
Heather hesitated before saying, “It’s not my place to notice. I’m just here to do my job.”
I stormed off in a blind rage. I wasn’t angry with Heather. I knew it was all Jay’s doing. I went back to my apartment and threw everything into my suitcases. After I packed, I got on my laptop and booked the next commuter flight to Richmond. It cost a fortune, but I didn’t care. As I was about to call Alec, the phone rang. It was her calling me.
She started talking in a rush before I could get a word in. “Johnny’s here, Grace. Why didn’t you tell me he was coming back today?”
“I just found out. Jay did this behind my back. I was just about to get a cab to the airport. I get in at seven.”
“I’ll pick you up at the airport and fill you in on what’s happening here. Please tell me you made backups of your research,” she said.
“Of course, for all the good it’ll do. Jay already submitted his case study,” I said, confused at why she’d asked.
“Good, and I know. Don’t worry about that. I’ll see you in a few hours.”
She hung up before I could ask what she was talking about. I stared at my phone like it could give me answers. After a few seconds, I called a cab and waited on the front step for it to come, wondering what my life held next.
12
My flight was smooth in contrast to my internal turbulence. I was relieved to see Alec waiting for me at the baggage claim. Once we were in the car, she said, “Johnny’s settled in his old room. That’s the good news. You aren’t going to like what else I have to tell you.”
“It can’t be worse than what I’ve been through this week.”
Alec squeezed my arm and gave me a sad smile. I was comforted to know that I wouldn’t have to deal with my problems alone anymore.
“Adam was livid when I told him what Jay did to you. We all were,” she said.
“What do you mean ‘we all’? Who else knows about Jay and me?” I felt rising dread that my troubles were the current topic of hospital gossip.
Alec ignored my question and said, “Adam got suspicious when I told him what happened with you and Jay, especially after he and Brad Carter saw your report.”
“Brad Carter? He knows about this, too? I should be asking who doesn’t know,” I said.
She tapped my arm. “Just listen. Adam is friends with Pete Sanders. They go way back. He doesn’t know you and Adam are friends or about his involvement with Johnny.”
Pete Sanders was Kinsley’s executive assistant. I’d never met him and had only seen his name on paperwork that passed through Kinsley’s office. I hadn’t known that Adam knew him. I was surprised that he didn’t know that Adam and I were friends.
I was about to interrupt her again, but before I could, she said, “Adam and Pete went to dinner the other night, and Pete had a little too much to drink. He blabbed that Kinsley is an old crony of the chief of staff in Baltimore. According to Pete, Kinsley pulled strings to make sure Johnny’s study had the result they wanted. The chief of staff at Baltimore Regional is retiring this year, and if Pete has his story straight, he promised the position to none other than our Dr. Jay Morgan if he’d cooperate. Can you believe that?”
“Wait, what?” I said, totally confused by what she was saying.
“I’m trying to tell you that Jay was coerced into making sure Johnny’s study came out the way Kinsley wanted. Adam didn’t believe it either. He thought Pete was making stuff up to get attention, but he seemed really nervous when he was telling Adam.”
I laughed and said, “Oh, come on, Alec. Do you actually believe this? It’s like something from a bad crime show. Jay didn’t change Johnny’s prognosis until recently, and he seemed positive about Johnny’s chances at first. Why would he have done that?”
“I’ll tell you in two words: Grace Ward. Adam said that maybe Jay had a conscience at first and refused to cooperate, especially after he became involved with you. When he saw that you wouldn’t give up on Johnny and things went south between you, he probably figured he had nothing to lose. He may have even thought that with Johnny out of the way, you’d marry him.”
Hearing her say that did make some sense. It would also explain Jay’s bizarre reaction to my wanting to adopt Johnny. When the implications of what she was saying really hit me, I shook my head. “I’ve seen my share of insanity in this life, but this is just too crazy. I could believe it of Kinsley, who sees everything in terms of dollars and cents. Maybe he’s fed up with footing some of the bills for Johnny’s care. And I never met the chief of staff in Baltimore, so I can’t speak for him, but even after everything Jay did to me, I can’t believe that he would stoop this low. It’s more than my relationship with him. I watched him work for over two months. He genuinely cares about his patients. No one’s that good of an actor, and we’re talking about a child’s life here. On top of all that, I’m planning to adopt Johnny. That takes the problem off their shoulders.”
“How can you say that after what Jay pulled today? He ignored your report and sneaked Johnny out of there right under your nose. And the hospital would have to pay for Johnny until the adoption was final. Like you said, it takes up to a year. Paul’s not sure it’s even going to be possible.”
I remembered how furious I’d been earlier that day, and my certainty wavered. How much did I know about Jay? I rubbed my forehead to calm my growing headache. “I’m exhausted, and this is too much to think about now. I want to see Johnny and then go home to my own bed. Can’t we forget Jay and everything that happened in Baltimore? I was planning to start the adoption papers tomorrow. Can’t we focus on that and not on trying to take down the bistate medical establishment?”
We rode along in silence for a few minutes until Alec said, “I’m sorry to dump this on you the second you’re in the car, but you may not have much time. It can wait until morning though.” She was quiet again for a few minutes but finally said, “I’ve missed you. I love Adam, but he’s terrible at girl talk. Let’s get dinner tomorrow after I get off. We’ll catch up then.�
�
I nodded but didn’t say anything. I looked out the window as we neared the city, grateful to see the Richmond skyline welcoming me home.
I’d never been so happy to walk through my front door. My time in Baltimore had changed me, but my little house was like an old friend welcoming me in with open arms. It was my safe place.
I went straight to bed when I got home. My back was thrilled to get reacquainted with my comfy mattress. After a great night’s sleep, I got up to tackle the pile of mail waiting on the kitchen table. Alec had been picking it up and mailing it to me in weekly batches, but she hadn’t sent the last one. She had given it to me on the way back from the airport. Other than another letter from Aunt Jenny begging me to come for a visit, the rest was junk and bills. I paid the bills and put Aunt Jenny’s letter aside to deal with later, not having the energy to think of another excuse to put her off.
With that out of the way, I did a full inspection of the house. I’d had a cleaning service coming in every two weeks, and I was impressed with the job they had done. The house was cleaner than it had been when I was taking care of it. I was about to e-mail them to thank them and cancel their service but changed my mind and asked if they would keep coming. I could easily afford it and not having to do the heavy cleaning would free up time for me to spend with Johnny. They e-mailed right back saying they’d be happy to keep me as a client.
With my morning shaping up nicely, I went to take a long, relaxing shower. The phone rang two minutes after I started, but I ignored it. I assumed it was Alec wanting to light a fire under me. I cursed when it rang for the third time and turned off the water. I grabbed my cell off my bed, dripping all over the carpet, and checked the caller ID. It was Alec as I suspected, but I knew that not even she would be so insistent if it weren’t important.
“Couldn’t whatever this is wait two minutes, Alec? I was in the shower,” I said without bothering to say hello.
“No, it can’t,” she said in a rush. “It’s bad, Grace. Kinsley must have passed Jay’s report to DSS. They’ve filed a petition to remove Johnny from life support. Get over here. Now!” she said and hung up.
I sank down to the wet carpet and stared at my phone, waiting for it to tell me I’d heard wrong. The blank screen stared back in silence. I started to shiver and feared I was going into shock. I dried off and dressed as fast as I could. Nothing mattered but getting to my Johnny.
Alec and Johnny’s caseworker, Serena, were in Johnny’s room when I got there. Johnny’s feeding tube was still in, so I had made it in time. I turned to Serena and said, “Tell me what’s happening. How could this happen so fast? Jay just filed his report yesterday.”
“I don’t know about that,” she said. “All I know is that the Department of Social Services petitioned the court for permission to remove Johnny from life support. A courier delivered a copy of the court papers a few minutes before I left my office. I came as soon as I read it. They’re saying that, based on the study results, he’s brain-dead, and they’re merely keeping his body alive. I was completely blindsided.”
I grabbed the rail on Johnny’s crib for support. “They’re going to kill him? He costs too much to keep alive, so they’re just going to kill him?” I said. “What happens now? How do we fight this?”
“Listen to me,” Serena said, putting her hands on my shoulders. “Don’t panic yet. We’re a long way from them removing life support.”
I broke free of her grasp. “After all I’ve done, it comes to this. After fighting for him and caring for him for so long, I’m supposed to stand by and watch them murder him? That’s what this is, you know. It’s murder.”
Alec stepped toward me and said, “No one is asking you to just stand by. The first thing we need to do is talk to Paul. He’ll walk us through the process.”
I calmed down when she mentioned Paul. He knew what was at stake. We could trust him to fight with us.
“Don’t take too long,” Serena said. “There is a process, but I have a feeling Kinsley will put pressure on my department to rush this before word gets out. They’ll do anything to avoid the negative publicity.”
Hearing her say “my department” made me realize the position Serena was in. Her office had ordered the petition. “You need to stay out of this,” I told her. “You’d be risking too much to help us. You’d be going against your employer.”
“Don’t worry about me. Kinsley did go over my head, but I’m still Johnny’s assigned caseworker. I’m his advocate. There are things I can do from my end. Just let me do my job. Speaking of which, I need to get back to my office, but I’ll keep in touch. I meant what I said. Don’t panic. I’m not.”
I nodded, and she squeezed my hand on her way out. I walked to Johnny and caressed his cheek. He was so peaceful. I’d have given anything to know that feeling. “Kinsley’s going to pull the plug on him, Alec,” I said without turning around. “Can’t I have one moment of peace in my rotten life? Maybe we’d all have been better off if I’d never gone to see Johnny that first day.”
“Don’t say that. Johnny wouldn’t be better off, and neither would you. Are you saying that what happened that day wasn’t real? It’s what’s been driving you all these months. You said it gave you a reason to live. You were so sure.”
“I believed it was real. I’m not sure of anything anymore. I thought Jay was a good man too. I was in love with him. I considered marrying him. How can he do this, Alec?”
Alec turned me to face her and said, “I told you in the car last night. He’s being extorted,” Alec said. “We have your report. We have to use it against them.”
I groaned and said, “Not that again. You want me to prove that administrators from two prestigious hospitals coerced a well-respected, world-renowned neurologist into falsifying research-study results. I’m not strong enough to do that. If I tried and failed, Johnny would die. I couldn’t live with that. Besides, who would believe me over Jay?”
“If you do nothing, Johnny definitely dies. Face it, that report is your only weapon. What choice do you have?”
I took the satin corner of Johnny’s blanket and rubbed it between my fingers. “I only have one picture of my mother. It’s my brothers and me having a picnic with her in a park. I’ve thought of going back to find that park, but it’s probably buried under a strip mall by now,” I said with a half grin. “It was before Mama got cancer. I felt safe and protected, like nothing bad would ever happen to me again. Of course, fate had a few punches left, but I didn’t know it that day. That day, my life was perfect. My mother had given me a precious gift of pure happiness. Since Johnny came into my life, I’ve hoped to be able to give him that someday. In spite of what happened between Johnny and me that first day, I need to do this for his sake and to honor my mother. I can’t let them take that away. I’ll do it. I’ll fight them. It’s a matter of wounded pride for Jay and a matter of money for the hospital. For Johnny and me, it’s a matter of life and death.”
I turned to Alec. She looked at me with tears on her cheeks. The only other time I’d seen her cry was during the quarantine. I was comforted to know she felt what I did.
“I’m proud of you. I know what a sacrifice this is, but they don’t know what they’re up against with you. You have more strength than you know, and we’ll be beside you. The first thing we need to do is call Paul.”
Alec reached for her purse and bumped a table next to the rocking chair. Johnny’s chart crashed to the floor. He flinched at the sound.
“Did you see that?” Alec asked.
“I did,” I said. “Was it coincidence or response to the sound?”
Alec picked up the chart and dropped it again. Johnny flailed his arms like a startled newborn.
“It was the sound! He’s never done that. Get Dr. Carter in here. I’ll see if I can get him to react again,” I said.
I slapped his chart on the table. Johnny reacted again and gave a hoarse cry. His nurse rushed into the room to see what was going on. Brad and Alec walked
in while I was explaining what happened.
I took Brad’s hand and pulled him toward Johnny. “He’s definitely responding to sounds.”
“It might be nothing more than an involuntary defensive reaction, but I need to examine him to know for sure,” Brad said. “This is new though. I need to run some tests. If the results are positive, Kinsley might request an independent exam for a second opinion because of the timing. I’ll contact you as soon as I’m finished.” He paused before saying, “I just got the news about the DSS petition. I was on my way to convince you to take action on your report. Now, God willing, that won’t be necessary.”
“Yes, God willing,” I said. “We’ll leave you to work, then.” I tugged on Alec’s arm to get her to follow me. When we were in the hallway, I said, “Johnny hasn’t shown any change since he got here. Do you realize what this means? He might be coming out of it. Jay’s wrong. This changes everything.”
Alec led me to some chairs and sat down. She patted the chair next to her, but I was too excited to sit. Alec shrugged and said, “I agree it’s encouraging, but don’t get your hopes up too much yet. Like Brad said, it could be instinctive.”
I stopped pacing and stared at her. Sometimes I didn’t want Alec to be the voice of reason. I knew in my gut that something was happening with Johnny, and I refused to let her discourage me. “You were the one telling me to fight a few minutes ago. Now you’re telling me to back down. Which is it?”
“Grace, please sit down. Your pacing drives me crazy.”
I sat next to her but stared at the opposite wall.
“I’m not telling you to back down. I want you to take Jay and Kinsley down. I’m just saying that you need to hold off on getting too excited about Johnny until you hear from Brad. I want you to be right about him; just take a breath. You’ve been through a lot in the last twenty-four hours.”
The Complete Arms of Grace Series Page 15
